Next time we walk

Disclaimer: The fellowship is still for sale, all except for Legolas who goes to our lucky winner Manwathiel! Congradulations Manwathiel! Enjoy! As for the rest of the fellowship, they're still on the market! So if you want them, send a package of styrofoam peanuts and a glass of coconut milk to Miami 2017, where you will get your fellowship member and you will be able to see the lights go out on Broadway...but I digress... I claim all ideas, no matter how crazy they are. Enjoy!

O.O O.O O.O O.O . O.O O.O O.O O.O

Legolas wanders through out the mall, looking for Gandalf and Aragorn. He walks into a bookstore where security guards and the store owner are standing among the rubble, which consists of books, pages of books, and posters that were torn off the wall.

The storeowner was telling his story to the security guards and was clearly upset. "It all happened so fast. Two men and a child with a beard ran in here and tore everything apart!"

"Can you describe them?" Asked one security guard as the other one took notes.

The store owner sniffled, his eyes watery. "One was really old, one was in his fifties, and one was the size of a seven-year-old, but he had a beard!"

Legolas's elven ears perked up. "Did the seven-year-old have an Irish accent and seem especially fond of the word 'laddie'?"

The store owner and security guards stared at him. "Y-yes." The store owner stuttered, staring at Legolas. "How did you know?"

"I-" Legolas stopped short as his eyes alighted on a bookmark of himself. "Ooo...me! And look..." He moved aside some loose papers. "More of me!" He shuffled through some more bookmarks. "But I don't like this one...it makes my nose look funny...oh wait, that's Galadriel, never mind..."

The store owner and security guards stared. "You're...you're Orlando Bloom!" The store owner stammered, his eyes growing wide.

Legolas looked up briefly. "Wha...?"

The store owner grabbed a security guard's arm. "That's Orlando Bloom!" He looked back at Legolas, who was giving him a weird look. This seemed to excite him even more. "THAT'S ORLANDO BLOOM! HE'S IN MY SHOP! HE TOUCHED MY MERCHANDISE!"

Legolas straightened, the bookmarks still in his hand. "You are most undoubtebly in need of mental help. I highly recommend a high cliff you can fling yourself off of, but that isn't for everyone. My mentally challenged friend Boromir, for instance, likes waterfalls, and Merry and Pippin like gettting squashed by trees."

"HE TALKED TO ME! HE TALKED TO ME!" The store owner screamed, jumping up and down.

Legolas raised an eyebrow, then pointed to the bookmarks. "Can I have these?"

The store owner nodded so hard his head nearly fell off. "PLEASE! TAKE THEM ALL!"

Legolas rolled his eyes, then shook his head. "I don't think so."

"HE REJECTED ME! NOOO! I HAVE BEEN WOUNDED MORTALLY!" The store owner began to sob heartbrokenly.

Legolas walked out of the store, bookmarks in hand. He began wandering through the mall again. Many people began to stop and stare, but he appeared not to notice...to them anyway.

"What the heck is wrong with these people?" Legolas muttered, scanning the crowd for any sign of the wizard or the ranger. "They're all possessed or something." All of a sudden, he got an idea. "I bet Saurman is controlling them!" His breath caught in his throat as he spun around quickly, looking for potential enemies. "I must find Aragorn and Gandalf!"

He spied a bunch of security guards in a jewelry store, and ignoring the tape across the door that says 'Do not enter, crime scene', he walks in.

Again there is a store owner, and again she is upset. "I really don't know what happened." She explained to the security guards, looking tearful. "A crazy old man just ran in and pinned me to the wall with a staff, and this fifty-year-old guy was jumping up and down on the counter while singing, and this seven-year-old with a beard was taking all the jewelry!"

"Is there anything else you remember besides the staff, sword, and ax?" The security guard asked, his brow furrowed with concern.

The store owner cocked her head and strained to remember. "Well...they all had cups of black coffee."

Legolas decided to interupt again. "Did that old man have a lot of hair?" The store owner nodded, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. "Which way did they go?"

. "They went that..." The store owner stopped and stared. "You're...you're...ORLANDO BLOOM!"

Legolas finally snapped. "I am not this Bloom guy! I am Legolas! Now, which way did they go?"

"They went to the left." The store owner lunged for Legolas, brandishing paper and a pen. "ORLANDO BLOOM! SIGN AN AUTOGRAPH FOR ME!"

Legolas backed away. "Sorry, but when you are a wolf stalking a deer, you don't stop for the rabbits."

He left the shop and wandered a bit more before he came across a Starbucks. Aragorn is standing at the counter, and Legolas enters the store, heading toward his friend.

"GivemecoffeegivemecoffeeIwannacoffeegimmiegimmiecoffee!" Aragorn demanded, banging his fist on the counter rapidly.

"No!" The Starbucks employee responded. "You didn't pay for the last one!"

Aragorn's eyes bulged and glowed with a maniac-like light. "GIMMIEACOFFEEIWANNACOFFEEGIMMIEACOFFEENOW!"

The Starbucks employee quickly thrust another coffee at him, her eyes wide with fear. "Fine! Here! Don't come back!"

Aragorn began to drink the coffee, but before he could drink it, Legolas ran forward and grabbed the cup out of his hands. He threw it at the Starbucks owner angrily. "Don't you know better then to give him stuff like that? Crazy lunatic!" Legolas siezed Aragorn around the waist and dragged him away.

"Nooo!" Aragorn sobbed, struggling against Legolas's grip. "CoffeenoIneedacoffeecomeonandbringmycoffeeback!"

Legolas rolled his eyes. "Listen to me Aragorn!"

Aragorn sniffled, while he struggled. "What?"

"This place is being run by Saruman!" Legolas dodged a blow at his head. "We must get out of here Aragorn!"

Legolas's words brought Aragorn back to his senses. "Why didn't you say anything before?"

Legolas rolled his eyes again. "It was kind of hard to get anything through to you." Legolas started off in the direction he had came in. "Come on! Let's go!"

Aragorn remained standing where he was. "Before we go...uhh...could we make a rest stop? I have to go...bad."

Legolas stopped and stared at the ranger. "What?"

"I have to go!" Aragorn explained, spreading his hands.

"That's what I said." Legolas pointed out. "Why aren't you moving?"

"No." Aragorn said, shaking his head. "I have to go!"

"Then move!" Legolas was starting to get frustrated.

"But where?" Aragorn asked, looking around widely.

Legolas raised his eyebrow. "Are you crazy or something?" He turned around. "Let's go."

"Yes!" Aragorn smiled, thinking he had gotten his point across. "Let's!"

"Come on then!" Legolas called over his shoulder before he began running.

"I can't!" Aragorn called after him.

Legolas stopped and turned around in disgust. The elf was beginning to wish he had never found the ranger. "Why not? Make up your mind!"

Aragorn began to sweat. "I have to go!"

"So come on then!" Legolas half-shouted in his frustration. All grace of the Valar was beginning to wear off.

Meanwhile, Gimili strolled up to Aragorn. He was totally covered in jewelry. "Waz up laddie?"

"I have to go!" Aragorn moaned. He was losing control and getting desperate.

"Come on then!" Gimili said, starting toward Legolas.

"I can't." Aragorn protested.

"Oh, suck it up laddie!" Gimili laughed before punching Aragorn in the abdomen.

Aragorn moaned and doubled over, clutching his stomach. "Oh, Mexico."

"What's wrong with him?" Gimili asked Legolas, who had come over to see if Aragorn was all right.

Aragorn ignored his companions and hailed down a securtiy guard who was walking past. "Sir! Where can I relieve myself?"

The guard pointed farther down the mall. "Bathrooms are that way, to your left."

"THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU!" Aragorn shouted, much to the surprise of Legolas and Gimili. He ran off through the mall.

"Wait until Arwen hears about this." Legolas muttered as he and Gimili chased after Aragorn.

Aragorn ran into the girls bathroom. Soon screams are heard and a bunch of girls run out.

"Come back ladies!" Gimili called, sprinting after the girls.

"Hmm...that's funny." Legolas remarked as Aragorn came out of the bathroom.

"What is?" Aragorn asked in curiousity.

"That sign says 'Girls Bathroom'." Legolas noted.

"So?" Aragorn asked, looking non-plussed.

"I think it was for girls only." Legolas shrugged. "I could be wrong."

Aragorn raised one shoulder. "Oh. Well, no one cared."

"Then why did they run out screaming?" Legolas asked as the screams faded into the other mall noise.

Aragorn looked after them. "These people do that all the time. Especially when they see you, though I don't know why."

"Neither do I." Legolas sighed. "I wish they would stop calling me Bloom. Do I look like a flower to you?"

"Only when you're dressed in green." Aragorn pointed out.

Legolas gave the Gondorian a funny look. "I wear green all the time."

Aragorn grinned and shrugged. "Then you can't blame them, can you?"

"Stupid Gondorian." Muttered Legolas, shooting Aragorn a dark look.

"What was that?" Aragorn asked, his voice soft but dangerous.

"Uhh..." Legolas thought quickly. "Lots of pandimonium?"

"Riiiiiight." Aragorn nodded, then scanned his surrondings, looking for an exit. He spotted a door, then started running towards it. "Let's get out of here."

"What about the hobbits and Gandalf?" Legolas asked, hurrying to catch up to Aragorn.

Aragorn stopped, then gave the Elf a weird look. "Does it matter?"

Legolas gave Aragorn puppy-dog eyes. "But...but..."

"Out with it already." Aragorn snapped, his patience waning.

"Merry and Pippin are cool! Not as cool of us of course." Legolas added, glancing at the look on Aragorn's face. "But they still are."

"You're right." Aragorn struck a dramatic pose. "We must rescue them from the horrible fate of being stuck with Frodo and Sam! Let us go!"

Aragorn and Legolas raced off to the furniture store, praying that they were not to late to save Merry and Pippin from torment and certain death.

O.O O.O O.O O.O . O.O O.O O.O O.O

So there are you have it. Merry and Pippin are in danger and need rescuing. Meanwhile, what has become of Gandalf? Don't forget, the fate of Boromir is still unknown, because after all, he is impossible to kill...believe me...I've tried...

Many thanks to Manwathiel, Misty005, Goddess of Idun, phylitr, luthien thrainduilion, and Killing Perfectionist for being so kind and reviewing! You all win a life time supply of bookmarks, and three rings from the Elven kings, under the clear blue sky! Only don't tell the Elven kings that I stole them...

Feel free to review! Thankies!