Again..I was in the bathroom while thinking this up..Please kill me...-.-

And two chapters in one night, woohoo!

HP+FMA Disaster

Roy was dazed. I guess you could say he was on the verge of sleeping. But a loud and crude knock interrupted his.. 'beauty sleep'.

"Whowhaa?" Roy rubbed his eyes and tried to think clearly. The knock on his door became louder. It was the fact that someone had woken him up, which made him angry. "Come in," Roy said stiffly as he straightened himself up. The doorknob turned and in came a tall man who was carrying a large pointed stick in his right hand.

"Who are you?" Roy asked in a very rude way, but he didn't care. That man had woken him up. And the only way he would've been happy that he'd been woken up, was that if the man had come to tell him he'd been promoted to Fuhrer. But that was unlikely.

"I am Nicholas Flamel!" The man stood straight and proudly. But Roy's confused look became worse.

"Who?"

"You introduce yourself, now!" The man told him angrily. It wasn't a suggestion of manners. It was a demand. And it made Roy think that this man was some sort of snobby rich dude collecting money.

"I am Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist." Roy raised an eyebrow. "Now what do you want?"

"I knew it! The Flame Alchemist! We will now have to fight!" The man proudly raised his stick on the air.

"But I only just met you!"

"Well I guess that means you're just scared of being beaten by your own skill! You little pansy!"

Roy twitched. Oh no he did not just call Roy Mustang a pansy! Ooh he was going to pay for that.

"You want to say that to my face?" Roy demanded threateningly. He held a fist up and clenched his teeth.

"You. Little. Pansy."

"BRING IT ON, BIOTCH!"

Scar walked around the streets of Central, trying to avoid the military who was on his trail. But he couldn't leave just yet, and he doubted that those pathetic military officials would bring him down. He doubted it highly. But he wasn't paying attention and bumped into a small young boy.

"Sorry, kid." Scar grunted as he kept walking away, but something grabbed onto his shirt.

"Little KID?" The small young boy, didn't seem to be very small. His hair was a bright blonde but his eyes were a deep gray. Which made them interesting to stare at. Except right now, whereas anger filled them.

"You're that outlaw, Sc-" The boy was cut off, by Scar pushing the back of his hand in front of the boy's mouth. He wouldn't want to get caught by some kid wandering around in Central. But he was strong and pulled Scar's hand back down.

"I want to join you! And murder those filthy State Alchemists in the name of Ishbala!" He stated quietly. Scar raised an eyebrow in shock. Three words were crossing his mind at that moment. What the hell?

"You're not from Ishbal," Scar pointed out as he dragged the boy into the alleyway.

"Well, I still want to do this. I'll help you kill State Alchemists. And you'll help me kill those filthy mudbloods!"

Mudbloods? What the hell?

"Yeah, sure." Scar wasn't taking him seriously, but the kid really was.

"We'll get rid of them! Together! Then we'll be feared the most dangerous people in this country!" the boy grinned evily.

"Fine," Scar grunted. Anything to make this kid shut up.

"I'm Draco Malfoy," the boy held out his hand for a shake. Scar took it.

"Call me whatever you want," Scar spoke back.

"Mr. X?"

"No."

Envy lay down, he was bored. He couldn't find the Fullmetal Pipsqueak anywhere, he couldn't fight him. Lust and Gluttony were out doing some work for Pride. Sloth was with Pride. Wrath. Wrath? There was no flipping way he'd get stuck in a room with that crybaby.

He sighed and transformed himself into a phony military officer. He'd go check up on the military and maybe get come new instructions to do. It was better that sitting in a room all day doing nothing. And so he went. It was right after he opened the door, when he saw a man in a dark cloak in front of the door, about to knock on it. 'Talk about wierdo,' Envy thought as he stared at him/her/it. It was hard to tell what it was because of the cloak.

"You are Envy, are you not?" The voice of the thing was quiet and cold. Envy transformed himself back to normal and stared at the person.

"Yeah, what do you want?"

"Homonculus." the cloaked man stated.

"Thing." Envy replied back coldly.

"I am Lord Voldemort. I've come here for a reason."

"Yeah well guess what, Mister Voldemgut? We've already got a leader. We don't need you."

"No. I've come to help you." His voice was sinister and kinda creepy in a way.

"Oh yeah, well. You're gonna have to ask someone else that. Not me, wierdo."

"I'm immortal as well. The only thing stopping me from being truly powerful is that boy Harry Potter,"

"Uhm...Okay...and?"

"Join me, and I'll let you rise to the top with me." Voldemort was getting excited.

"What's in it for me?" Envy asked suspiciously.

"Lot's of random killing!" Voldemort replied, happily and joyfully.

"I'm in!"

Maes Hughes was in a staring contest. He was losing, terribly.

The wall had all advantages against Hughes.

A loud knock on the door forced him to blink and walked up toward the door. Hughes pulled it open to find a red headed freak standing in front of his house with a serious look on his face.

"Uhm...Hi?" Maes was speechless. What was he supposed to say to a freakishly tall, read headed, kid?"

"Listen. There is a decision that needs to be made. Made for me to get to the top of a certain goal." The boy said seriously. Maes listening intently and opened his mouth a little.

"A staring contest?"

"No, you idiot!" The boy slapped himself in the face and continued on. "Well this decision will make me be number 1 at something I know I can do!"

"And that is...?" Maes tried to move the boy along. It was as if he was being some sort of star for a drama and was trying to be as suspenseful as anyone could possibly be.

"If I beat you to the death. I will be the most annoying person in the world." The boy smirked and looked at Hughes.

"Well HAH! It's not as if you can beat me! Because I am the most annoying person in the-" His words sunk in. "I'm the most annoying person in the world?"

"Well I wouldn't be here if you weren't," the boy rolled his eyes and shook his head. "So are you just going to give it up? Or are you going to face me like a man!"

"Well I wouldn't be the most annoying man in the world if I didn't face you like a man," Hughes grinned evilly and decided upon one thing.

"The thing that will decide between us." Hughes started

"Is." the boy continued.

"A staring contest." Hughes finished and looked the boy straight in the eye.

"I ALREADY SAID NO TO THAT!"

"It's the only way, child! Speaking of child..I don't even know your name.."

"Ron Weasley!"

Maes smirked. Then laughed a little. And broke into a full hysteria. "RON WEASLEY!"

Ron's eye twitched and stared at Hughes.

"That has to be the most hilarious thing name in the world!"

Ron continued to stay quiet. He was shaking in anger.

"Okay..okay I'm done." Hughes finished his fit and calmed down.

"You better be," Ron muttered and held his breath.

Edward Elric sat on a chair in the Rockbell home, waiting for Winry to finish repairing his automail.

"Could you get any slower, Winry?" Ed complained. "I need to get back to Central!" This comment only resulted in a whack of the head by Winry's wrench.

"It's your own fault you're like this! You should be more careful next time!" Winry complained back. Honestly, she had a point.

"Well, you try being careful when you're fighting against a man who can blow up anything he damn well pleases." Ed muttered under his breath. Unfortunately..Winry heard him.

"You're fighting against whaat?"

"Nothing!" Edward yelled back. The last thing he needed was Winry worrying over him. "That stupid Colonel broke my armor in a fight, that's all." Edward lied as he tried to get out of Winry beating him up for getting into so much trouble. "So if you have any problems, take it up with Mustang."

"Yeah, sure." Winry said disbelievingly. It hasn't been the first time Edward had lied to ensure peace.

SLAM

"OHMYGOD!" Edward jumped up in shock, causing Winry to accidentally jab him with a screwdriver. "Watch where you're pointing those things!" Ed yelled at Winry.

"What do you mean 'watch out'! You're the one who asked me to fix them for you!"

"Well why don't you be more careful?"

"Then be more careful not to break your automail, you dimwit!"

Ed was stuck. He didn't have any more comebacks, now. He was about to speak when a short boy his age came wandering in the room they were in. He had round glasses and a scar on his forehead (a/n: OMG I WONDER WHO THAT IS!). A small girl followed behind him.

"You're supposed to knock, Harry." the girl said, putting her hands on her hips.

"I am the Boy Who Lived! I no need to knock on stupid doors!" The boy named Harry pulled off a pose like Armstrong would and waited for some response. The girl sighed and looked toward Edward and Winry, who were staring in shock and confusion.

"Now where's Edward Elric..." Harry looked around and squinted, trying to find Edward.

"I'm over here!" Edward yelled, waving his arms around like a maniac.

"I doubt the Fullmetal Alchemist is a midget like you!"

"That's not a nice thing to say," the girl said while raising an eyebrow.

"WATCH WHO YOU'RE CALLING A SHRIMP, YOU BIG HEADED, MESSY HAIRED, SCAR ON YOUR FOREHEAD, FREAK!" Edward screamed out whilst jumping up again.

"WELL IF YOU JUST TOLD ME WHERE THE FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST-"

"I'M RIGHT HERE!"

"Well I wasn't expecting the shorty to be the Fullmetal Alchemist, but oh well. I'll teach him the hard way," Harry sighed. "No need to worry, Hermione, after this we'll find the real alchemist. Hermione sighed as she realized that there would be no end to finding the Fullmetal Alchemist, because that kid really was the alchemist.

"This will be finished quickly," Harry wielded his wand and Edward was about to clap his hands when-

"Hey, Winry. Could you please hurry up on this arm!" Edward shook his loosely hanging arm and Winry fastened one more screw into place.

"There."

"Thanks." Edward clapped his hands and transformed his arm into a giant sword.

"EDWARD!" Winry screamed, swinging her wrench at Edward. "Don't do that to the automaill!"

"WINRY!" Edward complained back. "It's the only way to get them to shut up and leave!"

"Well don't do it in our house!" she yelled back.

"Fine then!" Edward yelled and started dragging Harry off to the Rockbell's front yard.

'Blimey, they yell a lot,' Harry thought as he looked back at how much they really yelled.

"You should be nicer to your girlfriend," Harry said, while standing in the front yard.

"WHAT GIRLFRIEND!" Edward violently shook his normal fist at Harry and prepared his steel one for battle. "Anyway, let's just get this done and over with. Maybe if I beat you up a few times, I'll get through your head that I am the Fullmetal Alchemist." Edward finished, coldly and was about to run when Harry spoke back.

"Then let's stop the chatting and get started.." There was an evil glint in his eyes.

"I was about to just say the same thing,"

Roy and Flamel lay on the parade ground, panting and could've sworn they were going to get a heart attack. Roy was so weak he couldn't snap his fingers. Flamel couldn't cast a spell to finish off Roy.
Scar and Malfoy wandered the streets in Central, searching for a stray State Alchemist to kill.

"I never realized what you did was so boring," Malfoy muttered under his breath.

"Well it's not exactly fun either, killing people. But I must," Scar said.

"Yeah, sure..."

Envy and Voldemort happily ran around Central killing civilians. They didn't give a crap about the military because they weren't coming, and even if they did, they'd kill them.

"Wee! This is fun!" Envy happily cried out.

"It is isn't it! Oh crap, I broke a nail," Voldemort slowly brought out his spidery hands and examined them while Envy gave a creepy stare.

"Whaat?" Envy said disbelievingly.

"Nothing," Voldemort shot his hand but under his cloak.

Maes's and Ron's eyes were watering in pain. But they couldn't blink no matter what.

"Can't you feel the pressure?" Maes said, wincing a little, but not closing his eye completely.

"I can..But the question is, can you?" Ron said trying to keep his eyes open longer that Hughes could.

"Of course I can," Hughes said, in a proud voice. "After all, I am the master of staring contests."

"You sound confident,"

"I am confident.."

"Honey?" Mrs. Hughes looked in after the two men. "You've been at it for two hours. Can't you give it a rest?"

"NEVER!" they both yelled at the same time.

Harry could feel like his arm was just going to fall off any moment now. But he didn't want to turn into an 'automail freak', which he just called Edward minutes ago.

But Edward was tired from the fight too. He couldn't finish Harry off either. But he didn't want to end up getting a draw. 'Elrics' never lose,' was what he had said at the beginning of their fight. He only wished it were true.

>>>

This is why Fullmetal Alchemist and Harry Potter should never ever EVER come together. Disasters happen.