Chapter 5

The Madness of Uncle Vernon

Harry looked at the letter in his hands. No address had been written on it, apparently it had been stuck in the larger envelope addressed to Uncle Vernon. Looking up at Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon, Harry noticed they weren't as interested in his letter as they were in Uncle Vernon's; they were still speaking to one another in quick, subdued tones.

Curious, Harry opened the letter. It was from Dumbledore.

Hello Harry, I hope your summer has been-bearable.

I apologize for not contacting you before now. As you have probably guessed, we have been quite busy and this is the first opportunity I have had to do so. I would like to ask you to leave Privet Drive and join me. I cannot disclose the location at the moment, but I believe it is a place you would very much like to visit.

I understand if you are not yet ready to speak to me or are not yet willing to reenter our world and take the pressures that wait you here. I ask only for the chance to make up for 15 years of keeping you in the dark.

Tomorrow evening at precisely 5:00 I will provide a means for you to leave Privet Drive. If you would like to leave use this means. If not, I understand.

Sincerely

Albus Dumbledore

Harry felt a twinge of guilt: The part about understanding if Harry didn't want to talk to him reminded Harry that his last meeting with the Headmaster had involved a lot of yelling on his part and the near total destruction of the office. He hadn't really been mad at Dumbledore himself; he was just the only person around at the moment. Harry had later admitted to himself, albeit grudgingly, that Dumbledore really was doing what he thought best and he had no right to be mad at him. That was also the day he told Harry about the prophecy…

Harry resolved to apologize to Dumbledore when he saw him the next day.

This still didn't explain Uncle Vernon's reaction to the first letter, however. Harry got a feeling that there was something else written in it…

The thought was forgotten in a moment, however. He was leaving Privet Drive! The excitement began to build up as he thought about where he would be going. Perhaps the Burrow…No, the Burrow wouldn't be safe, most likely he would be sent to Grimwauld Place. It was the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix and probably the safest place outside of Hogwarts itself. Harry wasn't sure how he would feel about returning to Grimwauld Place after the death of Sirius, but anything was better than being stuck in Privet Drive.

Thinking he'd better get packed, Harry folded up the letter and made for the staircase.

"Well, I'll be leaving tomorrow." He mentioned to Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon in passing.

On hearing the remark Aunt Petunia gasped and Uncle Vernon turned purple. Suddenly they were very interested in him.

"What? Tomorrow? I've heard nothing of this!" Uncle Vernon sputtered.

Harry stopped in his tracks on seeing this reaction.

"Well that's what my letter said. Tomorrow at 5:00. I need to go pack." He started again towards the stairs.

"Now see here! You're not going anywhere, boy, until I see this…this Dooblydure, Doopendor—whatever his name is!" Uncle Vernon barked.

Something very strange is going on here, Harry thought to himself. Since when did the Dursley's care when he left, so long as he was gone? And why did Uncle Vernon want to see Dumbledore?

"Well I don't think he's coming." Harry replied tentatively.

"He'd better come, or you're not going!" Uncle Vernon snapped back. "What does the letter say? How are they going to fetch you?"

"It didn't say." Harry answered truthfully.

"Didn't say? Rubbish! Give me that letter." As he grabbed the letter out of Harry's hands, the envelope burst into a strange Blue flame. Uncle Vernon dropped it with a yelp.

"DAMN! What the devil?" He sputtered as the three watched the letter burn into ashes.

Uncle Vernon turned to Harry, his face screwed up in anger.

"Come on then, how're you going to leave this time?" Uncle Vernon demanded, a crazy look in his eye. "What will it be this time? Another flying car?" Foam had started to gather at the corners of his mouth. "A magical doorway opening up out of our pantry? The refrigerator sprouting wings and blasting you off to the moon? What's the plan to get you out of here this time?" Uncle Vernon was furious.

Harry looked back at him; half astonished, half amused with his behaviour. What had that letter said?

"Vernon, please! Calm down…"

"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN PETUNIA!" he shouted. "First we have that giant ogre littering our house with those accursed envelopes, then a flying Ford Anglia rips apart our window, THEN the boy makes a balloon out of Marge and runs off into the night, THEN that imbecile and his red-headed brats blow up our fireplace and Dudley nears chokes to death on his own tongue, and then, THEN Petunia, we travel halfway across the damn country for a lawn competition that DOESN'T EXIST!"

It had never really occurred to Harry, but Uncle Vernon was probably quite hurt when he found he hadn't won the award for the Best Kept Lawn last year.

He continued:

"NO. No. I've had it with tricks and magic and make-believe lawn contests and the whole lot of it!" Here he turned to face Harry, and emphasized each point by jabbing his stubby finger into Harry's chest.

"You tell that…Headmaster of yours that if he wants you, he's going to have to stop by the house and call on us like a decent human being. And if he asks very politely, then maybe, MAYBE…we'll let you go."

"But, Uncle Vernon…"

"NO! You're not going anywhere until I meet the man who dumped you on our doorstep fifteen years ago!"

With that, he stomped out of the room.

Harry was slightly nervous the next day. Uncle Vernon was obviously upset and there was no way Harry was getting out of here with him like that. Whatever had been written in that first letter had really shocked Uncle Vernon, and Harry had no idea what it could have said.

On top of this, Dumbledore hadn't mentioned exactly HOW Harry would be leaving in the first place. Should he take the Knight Bus? Would somebody come to sneak him out like last year? The Floo network? Harry didn't know what to expect.

As he walked down the stairs for breakfast Uncle Vernon greeted Harry by saying,

"Remember—You're not going anywhere until I meet that man!" He sounded unnaturally chipper.

Evidently a night's rest hadn't lessened Uncle Vernon's determination one bit. He kept looking at Harry while they ate and muttered under his breath, "No more…not going until we have a chat…I'll be damned…after16 years…"

After finishing breakfast, Harry cleared his plate and decided to start his morning chore of weeding the front flower bed when Uncle Vernon's bellowing voice stopped him:

"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING!"

"I'm going to weed the front garden LIKE YOU TOLD ME TOO!" Harry shouted back angrily.

Uncle Vernon rose from the table, napkin still tucked into his shirt, and scuttled towards Harry.

"No, no, I don't think you'll be going out there today, boy. Do you think I'm stupid?"

With the napkin tucked in his collar, bits of bacon and spit stuck in his mustache and that maniacal look in his eye, Harry thought it best not to answer that question.

"Fine!" Harry flopped onto the nearby sofa. "What are we going to do then? Shall we sit on the couch and stare at one another all day?"

Uncle Vernon grinned maliciously.