Sorry to say, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm a poor student.
A week, an hour, a minute, or a second... it doesn't matter. All Yami wants is to have Yugi back in his world.
Regretting All the Forgotten Words
Started on February 11, 2006
Finished on February 11, 2006
Posted on February 11, 2006
There are several things I wish I could do right now. I wish I could run around the neighborhood like I used to, running freely without a care in the world. I want to be able to walk past a park and remember how I felt when I was first there. I want to be able to recall what I used to do on Friday nights. I want to do so many things and I want to experience so much, but I can't. It's out of my hands. I used to have that chance, but I lost it.
I only had one chance and I lost it. I should have done so many things before I left so cruelly from the world, from my world, but obviously, there's nothing I could do now. Even if I could, how would I go back to change it? How would, how could I change the circumstances, the results, the consequences?
If only I had been given another opportunity...
If only I had been given another chance...
If only I had been given more time...
If only...
So many questions and regrets run through my head. Why am I left behind? Where will I go now? Where am I meant to be? Surely, not here. This is not where I'm meant to be, I know that much. I know who I am and I know where I belong. But I'm not there and because I'm not, I am lost.
My name is Yami and I am in the wrong place. I'm not meant to be here in this place they call Earth, at least not now. This isn't the right time. I've just realized the reason I was put in this world to begin with: why I was reborn, why I lived five thousand years later, why I was sent to this time and place.
I was meant to find the one who had the eyes of purity, the laugh of an angel, the smile of true happiness, and the love big enough to include me.
Me, the cold hearted person that was never supposed to find that person. He was right in front of me the whole time and I didn't see him, I didn't know. I didn't know he was the person I spent hundreds of years looking of—I didn't even know that such a person existed. But I do, I know I've found him and what happened? Where is he now? Gone, taken away, snatched bitterly out of my arms and taken to place where they think is heaven.
Heaven? Is that where he is? I hope he is. I hope he is happy wherever he is. I want to know that wherever he is, he's looking down upon my face and smiling to himself knowing that I'm okay. I hope he can see through my fake smile that I put on, hoping he'll see me at that time, and realize that I'm happy, truly happy and okay that he's gone.
I'm not. I'm a mess without him. I would rather travel to hell ten million years to have him back with me right now, right here next to me. I don't mind. I would gladly go to hell right now if I knew the directions.
It is the simple thing that makes my heart ache with pain and hurt. The fact that I said, "I'll see you later," before he left when in reality, I should have said, "I love you." The fact that I had gotten in an argument the day before when I should have held him tightly in my arms and kissed him softly on the cheek. The fact that I didn't kiss him good night last night because I was too stubborn and mad at him, thinking I'll get over it next week and that I'll be able to make it up to him then.
The fact that I thought there was a next time, next day, next week... the fact that I thought he'd be back the next day. What a mistake. What a huge fucking mistake.
I've never been so wrong in my life. So many things I should have done, so many things I should have said, so many promises that went unfulfilled. He left too soon; he forgot to take me with him.
When was the last time I said I love him? When was the last time I held him in my arms, refusing to let go? When was the last time he truly realized how much I cared about him and how much I would do to have him here with me?
Did I ever tell him I loved the way his eyes blinked when he didn't know the answer to a question? Did I fail to mention to him that I thought it was incredibly adorable the way he chewed his pencil when he was thinking hard? Did I even remember to tell him that his smile was the only thing that kept me going? And did I ever tell him that I thought his cooking was atrocious, but that his dedication and preparation was so cute?
God, why didn't I ever tell him that? I should have done it before. Should have done it a long time ago...
I'm angry with the world, with the gods, with whoever the hell is up there. I want to ask what they were thinking, taking my angel away from me. Why? Why did they do that? Why would they do that?
I wish that I had a chance, another chance with him. If I had one wish, just one simply wish... oh please, please, please...
I'd wish for this, and only this. I want to be with him again. I want to see I don't care how long, how short, how quickly, I just want to be with him. Another day, another hour, another minute, another second... just long enough for me to see him, feel him close to me, know that he's near by and that's happy...
I want to tell him that I love him and that he's simply breathtaking and beautiful... that I have never been happier than when I'm with him... that his purple eyes radiate innocence yet somehow make me smile back at him... that I would give it all up to redo things before everything changed...
I would also tell him that without him, I am nothing... that my world is over, or, at least, it might as well be. Because the world isn't spinning and the world isn't going if he's not with me... would there be a point?
Because he is my life.
Because he is my love.
Because he is my world.
My soulmate.
My darling.
I love you, Yugi. Please know that.
-OWARI-
I love this pairing! And it's my first time writing a story about them! I'm so freaking proud of myself. Too bad I couldn't have written a happier one... it started off as one and then ended up depressing... haha, oh wells...
So, how did my first attempt go? Reviews are appreciated (as well are CONSTRUCTIVE criticism)
-lilrubydevil-