March 16th, 2005
What the hell were all these feelings coursing through her veins? They were things she had never felt before and no she wouldn't admit it. She couldn't admit it. She knew what love did. Ack! There was that word. Love….
"Hurry up. Holly." Grace growled taping the window with her finger. Holly looked at her with a frown.
"I'm almost to the house." She said, "I would take in a deep breath and remember whatever you need to do after your shift will still be there."
"I don't want to keep Brendan waiting." Grace said. A smile returned to Holly's face. She seemed to talk a lot about Brendan. Holly didn't mind it really because she talked about Carlos a lot. It was just nice to see Grace talking about something so passionately. Grace didn't know she was though.
"Where are you meeting him?" Holly asked.
"Just Hagerty's. Drink after a long day at work." Grace shrugged. Holly nodded as she pulled into the house. Grace almost immediately jumped out. She wasn't one for make-up and push up bras, but when she was going to see Brendan she wanted to look good. Grace dashed up the stairs to the bunks. Just a little eye crap and lip crap. She would be good then.
"She has a date." Holly explained to the firemen that were staring at the stairs.
"She's crossing over." DK said.
"At least you and Carlos are both in the same house." Walsh said. "That Cop/Paramedic thing is weird." Holly gave them a look and the men burst out into a fit of laughter. Within five minutes, Grace bounced back down the stairs. The men looked at her. Okay, She did clean up really well. When she had her hair down and his bounced around her face, it made all the men in the house turn their heads.
"Have fun." Holly told her, "But be careful."
"I always am." Grace winked as she walked back down to the outside world. She buttoned up her leather jacket as the winter air slammed into her. Luckily the bar wasn't too far away. Grace stuffed her hands into her pockets to keep warm. Okay the few blocks seemed like miles when it was this chilly. She saw the neon sign up ahead. Her walk burst into a slow trot. She wanted to get there. She fluffed up her hair as she walked up to the bar.
Grace walked in and looked around the bar. Ah, warmth, She thought as she saw Brendan. He was already at the bar…Laughing. There was a gorgeous woman sitting next to him. Grace stood there and watched them for a moment. The lady was obviously flirting.
Grace started to get mad. Okay, maybe the real word was jealous. She watched the woman lean over and kiss Brendan. Now Anger boiled up inside of her veins. Not that stupid L word. She watched Brendan put his hand on the woman's chest and pull away from her. She wanted to scream at him. She watched as he turned around in his seat and looked at her.
"Shit." He said. Grace could read that much. She turned around and left the bar. This was why she didn't like to get herself invested emotionally with someone. All Men were the same. "Grace!" Brendan rushed out of the Bar.
"Don't. don't you even dare." Grace growled.
"I know what you saw and it wasn't what you were thinking." Brendan said. Grace turned around and stared at him.
"I start falling in love with someone and see where it gets me? A broken heart." She snapped.
"Grace, listen to me." Brendan calmly said, "I was just sitting there waiting for you. This lady came over asking me if I was an off duty cop. I told her where I worked and she started to come onto me. I told her I was seeing someone and she was persistent. She leaned over and kissed me. I pushed her away. That's what you saw. I swear."
"You're all the same, Brendan. Men. All the same." She said. Brendan shook his head.
"I'm not, Grace. I'm different." He said.
"You didn't look much different than every other asshole I know when you were back there." Grace crossed her arms over her chest.
"I know what it looked like and I swear, I didn't want it." Brendan said, "I pushed her away." Grace sighed deeply kicking a rock with her heel.
"I just…I don't like feeling like that." She mumbled. Brendan smirked.
"Feeling like what? Jealous?" He asked. Grace looked at him and smacked his shoulder.
"I don't get jealous." She said. He couldn't help but to laugh.
"That is a load of bull." Brendan said, "You're jealous. You're completely jealous. And don't think I didn't catch what you said before."
"And what was that?" Grace asked.
"you were falling in love with me." Brendan said. Grace pierced her lips.
"I didn't say that." She turned and started to walk away. Brendan chuckled as he followed her.
"Yes you did, Grace." Brendan said, "Which is good because I'm falling in love with you…hard." Grace stopped walking. "Don't you want me to love you?"
"Brendan…" She whispered.
"Don't think, Grace. Tell me what your heart wants. Don't over analyze anything." He told her, "That always makes you stressed. Just tell me what is in your heart."
"I don't know what's in my heart." She whispered.
"Yes you do." Brendan walked up behind her. He put his hand on her lower back, "You know exactly what you're feeling." Grace turned and looked at him.
"I love you okay?" She with a slight growl of anger. "Are you happy now?"
"Yes." Brendan smiled. "I'm very happy." Grace sniffed slightly. She couldn't look at him directly in his eyes. She just couldn't.
"Good." She mumbled. Brendan tucked his finger beneath her chin and tilted her head up.
"I love you, Grace." He said seriously, "I will never do anything to jeopardize that."
"I know one hundred and one ways to kill a man so you better not." She said.
"I won't." Brendan leaned over and kissed her gently. It was scary. She was giving in to what she was feeling. She was setting herself up for heart ache. Love wound up hurting. Most of the time. Carlos and Holly seemed to have something real. Maybe it could be done. Maybe love wouldn't be such a bad thing and it would be something she could live off of.