Welcome all to yet another torturous adventure. I intended for Spirit, Sleeping Somewhere Cold to focus around drama, but with Shimamon that just changed. There ended up being a lot more humor than I thought there should have been, and while I love working on that story, I need something with more edge, so hence this tale.
I couldn't exactly explain it in the summary, so I'd like to verify the issues of love in this story. There aren't any defined couples until the end, and even then it's only one. I'm not sure what I'll do for the rest, but you, the readers, may help me decide on that. But the main theme of this story isn't love, so like most of my other works (excluding MHIDIW) this won't contain fluff or anything remotely romantic until way later. Even so it's gonna be heart-wrenching love (maybe, I dunno yet.). There may be some situations where it seems shonen ai or shojo ai is hinted at, but that's not the quite case. You may think of it however you want, but it's really just strong feelings of friendship and mutual love. No full blown yaoi or yuri here.
But hey, if you've seen my other works, then you know this will be a worthy read. So let's get this started...
Disclaimer: Digimon isn't mine. 'Nuff said.
Numb, Without A Soul
Chapter 1: A Silent Cry
The day was light but dreary. Dusky clouds overhead refused to let the warm rays of the sun nourish the despondent earth. A chill blew throughout the city, the pale darkness foretelling of a storm, the burning but purifying light hidden behind a veil of gray.
It was shrouded for now, but even when it shone again it would forever be just out of reach. No matter how much you wanted it, how much you needed it, it was always just beyond grasp, for all to see and never touch.
The cherished, indomitable light. It's so precious, and everyone loves it, since it's always there. If everything has life, from men, beasts and trees to buildings and stones, does that mean that light has life, too? What does it need? What does it want?
Midnight blue narrowed in contempt.
But... Like the flip of a switch, it's only summoned when needed. Otherwise it's just left alone in a cloak of nothingness, left with only it's thoughts, desires... loneliness...
Pulsating beats rang throughout an empty space. To all, she was silent, and only she heard the throbbing of the heavy metal blaring in her headphones.
That's right, just walk on by. Nevermind the chick on the bench. Just some kid trying to separate herself from society.
Barely lifting her eyes, she saw a little boy that had taken an interest in her, and his mother who quickly ushered him away from her. She smirked mirthlessly and dropped her head again.
Good job, moms and dads. Keep the little ones away. I'm a bad, bad girl. I'll pollute their fragile minds.
Most probably wouldn't have guessed she was girl. As short as her hair was, it still covered her eyes with her head down. In her hunched over position, with her elbows propped on her knees and folded hands on her forehead, she was far from lady-like. Her baggy pants were the opposite of the hip-hugging pants and shorts or skirts that were all the rave now with most girls her age.
That was how she wanted it. She wasn't like all the other girls, at least not like the ones she saw everyday. She was far different from the squealing school girls who only stressed over homework or cute guys or whatever.
What did she care? She was just here, and nothing more. Now that she thought about it, she didn't even know why she had chosen to leave her room in the first place. There was hardly any difference between where she was now and there, except that here she was in the open. She was having to deal with people constantly looking at her. Whether it was a casual glance or a prolonged stare, she knew that at every moment someone was looking her way.
She frowned at the concrete ground beneath her. Her paranoia was starting to bubble up again. She instantly began to push it away with the same thoughts she always repeated to herself, to keep from completely breaking down.
I shouldn't care about them. I don't care about them. People are stupid. Why should I care what a stranger thinks? It's not like they know what runs through my twisted mind. Their opinions about me aren't important. After all, they don't know me. Hell, I don't even know myself. There's nothing to me anymore. Nobody is calling, nobody is answering. I just want to fly out from this boring world, she added, her last thoughts matching the barely intelligible lyrics through her head.
With a deep sigh, she conquered her anxiety for the day. Then she fell silent. With the music as loud as it was, she couldn't even hear her own heartbeat. Something clicked in the back of her mind, and an often thought of phrase passed through it.
I just don't care anymore.
With that last thought she shut down, not feeling, not thinking. Even the song began to grow faint; as loud as it was, she couldn't hear it anymore. It wasn't music anymore, just some noise to disturb the silence in her head.
She never noticed the business man that came rushing towards her, making haste to whatever his job may be, and he never noticed the girl that had vanished once he passed her.
He tried for a good ten minutes or so to think of one good reason why he should be so depressed.
I have a family now. I have real friends. I've learned to trust and believe in others... Maybe that's it. I've cared so much for others that I don't think much of myself anymore.
How much of that was true, he wasn't sure. Somehow, he felt he had done more for them than he had himself. Even though it felt nice to know you changed someone's life for the better, he just felt that he hadn't quite received anything from that journey.
Who was he kidding? He was somewhat closer to his father than he had been in a long time, and he had finally come to accept his wife as part of his family. He finally found his mother, whom he thought was gone forever, and had even discovered a brother. So why did he feel that his life was so empty? So meaningless? So... normal?
He was still so young, so had his destiny really been found? Was his quest in the Digital World now to only remain a memory?
The Warrior of Light. Who would've thought?
No one would now. Wolfmon and all of his forms had been the Warrior of Light. He was just the mere boy who had been the vessel for their power. More so since they had separated.
I wonder if the others feel this way? Probably not. I was always the one who thought of things like this the most. And why would they bother worrying about it now? Everyone's happy with their new lives... I should be too. So why?
He leaned his head back against the frame of the shoji screen, looking for answers in the bleak sky.
Why does this trouble me so? Why do I feellike something's not... finished?
Slowly, she began to open her eyes... When had she closed them? Had she fallen asleep, perhaps...?
No.
She couldn't hear that song anymore, and she couldn't feel her headphones... or anything for that matter.
Her eyes snapped open in alarm, but they opened to...nothing. That was the best way she could describe it. Everything around her was gray. All that was in her view was that drab color, and it seemed it had no beginning or end.
This is different.
With no way of telling if there was a sky above or ground below, she had no idea how she was able to keep herself steady. She wasn't quite standing nor floating, but somehow managed to keep from toppling over.
This is definitely different.
Acting on her instincts to fully survey her surroundings, she looked down.
Baka. It's not you'll find some...
She halted herself in mid-thought. Even though everything was a constant gray around her, something just looked different for a moment. She narrowed her eyes, focusing, and...
She was right.
It was scarcely noticeable, but the gray beneath her rippled. It was like she was in some kind of freak ocean...
You can see it, can you not?
Her head snapped up in slight alarm. That voice...! It sounded like her own, but much older. How...?
The slightest breeze will cause the waters to ripple. It is true also here, in the Sea of Chaos.
She could feel her brow crease. Chaos was always defined as disorder, but this place, bland as it was, looked like it was in order.
Not for much longer. You can see that. Once Chaos is disturbed, nothing will be able to stop it.
Now she was annoyed. This was starting to look like some manga. What, had she been summoned to another world to be the disgruntled heroine or some crap like that?
If this was some stupid dream, she wanted to wake up now. Who knows what could happen to someone her age if she was found alone in public?
I assure you this is no dream. Chaos has awakened, but it has yet to take form.
She narrowed her eyes in boredom. Finding herself unable to make any sound, including telling off whoever was bothering her, she only thought disdainfully. Chaos, disturbance, whatever. Like she was some part of it.
See for yourself.
She rolled her eyes, but looked down again regardless of her lack of interest. The ripples were a little more noticeable now, and...
It was... rippling...
Ba-bum...
Ba-bum...
Ba-bum...
...in resonance with the beating of her heart.
Despite herself, the pulsating in her chest began to quicken, and with it the ripples of the empty sea became to extend into larger rings.
I have awakened.
Her... no, their heart was like the pound of a thousand drums in her head. The "waters" wavered like they were being struck again and again by some titan raindrop.
You will be a worthy puppet...
Her mouth opened in a soundless gasp when the "coils" of gray began to rise, reaching up towards her, and in moments had her entire body wrapped tightly in it's ruthless grip.
Rivers of crimson ran through the villages, lacing the waters, painting the sides of mountains and dripping off the trees. Mutilated bodies lay everywhere; Mostly pieces of what could have been a limb or torso, the heads with either one or both eyes missing or misplaced, peeking out of tears in their necks or lack thereof. Only the inhabitants were slaughtered; the land was only stained red, but otherwise unharmed.
Separate from the mounds of carcasses lay a small group of too familiar figures.
He was met with the dead stares of his fallen comrades.
Completely consumed, she was finally allowed a voice, and her scream shattered the silence, turning inhuman...
A bellow the likes of which he could only describe as some hell-spawn dragon of ancient legends reverberated throughout the massacred village...
... And was still loud in his ears when Minamoto Kouji awoke in a cold sweat.
Mmm... Not quite my best work but it'll hafta do. I just could not do this chapter, and this is the longest and best I was able to write it (even if it's only five measly pages.). I may go back and add a few things, but we'll see. Things should get easier from here. If not, I just got the Kingdom Hearts soundtrack, so be looking for possibly two new chapters soon for that fic (Y'know, E.R. Check the profile to see.).
Also, if anyone was wondering, the song mentioned was Dead or Alive 2's Exciter. I'm not sure if the lyrics were right, and if anyone knows what they really are please correct me if I'm wrong.
Even though not much has happened, please review anyway.