Many thanks to mattb3671, Zaratan, AtomicFire, drakwolfstoppable, Yankee Bard, Skyagent, and chefjet.

I've rewritten portions of this chapter after GAP's insightful review drove home something I was second-guessing anyway.

Please don't kill me.

(On with our double feature…)

Disclaimer: This story is based upon characters created by Bob Schooley and Mark McCorkle for Disney. If you recognize the characters, they aren't mine. I will never make any money from this.
&
"What do you mean, 'we weren't married'?" asked Kim as her voice rose.

"Well..."

"You made me marry you?" her voice was like something scraping a chalkboard.

"No!" Ron barked. "I don't think so."

Sensei faced Kim, "The idol enabled Stoppablesan to be in a world where you are his wife instead of the other world he remembers. In a sense, he is not the same man you have been with until this time."

"So he's not my Ron?" Kim asked slowly.

"Eh, technically..." Ron was still nervous. Did Sensei really have to point that out?

"Can we get my Ron back?" asked Kim.

That hurt. "Hey!" yelled Ron. "I'm still the same guy! Just because I married someone else, doesn't mean we can't love each other!" Ron balked, "Wait, that came out wrong."

"The idol follows the desires of the true monkey master. He must face his choices and decide them anew," Sensei told them.

Ron absorbed that, "So I have to choose whether I really want Kim or -" he caught himself.

"That is the meat of it."

"Speaking of meat," Ron rubbed his belly, "I'm Hungry!"

"So now we can go to lunch?"

"Thanks, Sensei!" Ron started to get off the bed.

"You are always welcome, Stoppablesan."

"Oh, hey-" Ron stopped as he was standing. "How would Monkey Fist use that thing?"

"He must perform a sacrifice within the presence of both you and the idol."

Ron grimaced. "Good thing I've got the idol."

"Goodbye, Stoppablesan."

"Yeah," Ron waved half-heartedly. "Bye."

Sensei's image faded away.

"So who did you marry?" asked Kim with an air of command.

"Huh?" Ron was suddenly very afraid.

Kim stepped into his face calmly, "You just said that you married someone else. Then Sensei confirmed that you had to choose between her and me." Kim's eyes were slits, "Who is she?"

Ron was sweating. "Uh,"

"Out with it, Ron."

"Zita?"

"Is that an answer or a question?

Ron was shaking, "Which would you prefer?

"The truth, Ron!"

Ron sat down heavily on the bed again. "I married Zita," he said softly.

"Zita," Kim said just as softly as she sat next to Ron.

"Yeah."

"Why?" Kim asked softly.

Ron's eyes started to wet, "We - you and me, that is - broke up after high school." He wiped his face, "After a while, I hooked up with Zita again," he shrugged, "and the rest is history."

"Why would we break up?"

"It was complicating the missions," Ron said sadly. "We stayed best buds," he said brightening up. "We still do the hero thing."

"Of course we do, Ron." Kim said sweetly. "I remember when our personal life first affected the missions." That confident look appeared in her eyes, "We got through it."

"That's not how I remember it, KP."

"So we aren't married?"

"Well," He looked at their hands and the matching rings. "Technically, no. I mean - I am the guy you met in pre-K, your sidekick, best friend and high school boyfriend. But, I'm not the guy that you married." His face twitched, "It's weird."

"Yeah," Kim pouted. Not the puppy dog pout, thank god. But this sad pout was not much easier to take.

"I don't want to hurt you, KP. I'm sorry." Ron put a hand on her knee. "We could try it from here, I guess."

Kim looked at him strangely, "Thank you, but I really would rather have my Ron back. If that is okay."

"Sure, KP. I just wish I knew how to do that."

"Well. All the Rons I've ever known think better when they're full. Let's go eat."

£
"Blonde?" Zita said disbelieving, "I was blonde."

"Yeah," said Ron. "I consciously didn't hate it or anything." He rubbed the back of his neck, "I guess you just look- uh," he smiled, "nicer this way."

"You changed my hair." She still sounded like she didn't believe it. "But it's always been black!"

"Not to me." Ron was just relieved that she seemed to starting to believe it. Hopefully, he'd never have to tell her the truth.

Sensei faced Zita, "The idol enabled Stoppablesan to be in a world where your hair is black instead of the other world he remembers. In a sense, he is not the same man you have been with until this time."

"So he's not my Ron?" Zita asked slowly.

"Eh, technically..." Ron was still nervous. Did Sensei really have to point that out? Did Sensei disapprove of Ron's lie?

"Can we get my Ron back?" asked Zita.

That hurt. "Hey!" yelled Ron. "I'm still the same guy! Just because I married someone with different color hair, doesn't mean we can't love each other!"

"Ooh," Zita winced. "Sorry, Ron. That came out wrong."

"The idol follows the desires of the true monkey master. He must face his choices and decide hem anew," Sensei told them.

Ron absorbed that, "So I have to choose whether I really want Zita or -" he caught himself, "the other, blonde Zita."

"That is the meat of it."

"Speaking of meat," Ron rubbed his belly, "I'm Hungry!"

"So now we can go to lunch?" Zita's slave girl outfit wiggled as she laughed.

"Thanks, Sensei!" Ron started to get off the bed.

"You are always welcome, Stoppablesan."

"Oh, hey-" Ron stopped as he was standing. "How would Monkey Fist use that thing?"

"He must perform a sacrifice within the presence of both you and the idol."

Ron grimaced. "Well, at least he has to come to me."

"Goodbye, Stoppablesan."

"Yeah," Ron waved half-heartedly. "Bye."

Sensei's image then faded.

Zita had been checking the mirror, "Did I look that bad as a blonde?"

Ron smiled for her, "Not 'bad', just different."

Zita took his arm as they walked out of their room, "Well, at least you didn't make me a redhead like Kim."

"Kim's a redhead?" Ron pretended to be surprised. He saw a way to hopefully make this easier on Z. Apparently, Kim was a sore spot in this marriage.

"Yeah," said Zita. "What was she before?"

Ron thought, "It was black."

Zita paused, "You changed my hair to her color, and hers to red."

"Uh, I guess so."

"Well, I guess that's okay." Zita said as they went to the elevator, "I mean, you could have fixed it so you were married to her instead of me!" she said with a forced laughed.

Ron laughed along, "C'mon, why would I do that?"

&
"Rufus, keep to your own plate!" Kim admonished.

Rufus actually attempted a puppy dog pout, which is impossible with buckteeth. So he then went back and sat next to his plate again.

"So what do you want to do after lunch?"

"Figure out how to get my husband back?"

"Right." Ron stuck another portion on the small plate Rufus was using, "I suppose if it was because of something in my subconscious, then I have to settle that to put things right."

"But what is that?" asked Kim. "Do you have doubts about Zita?"

Ron almost dropped his fork. "Maybe…"

"Does that mean my Ron isn't sure about me?" Kim asked, looking concerned.

"I," Ron frowned. "I wish I knew, KP."

£
Over lunch in the restaurant, Zita kept going. "I mean - blonde hair doesn't exactly run in my family, Ron."

"Well, I guess it did before," Ron said as he munched a burrito.

"So, was Shego purple or something before?" Zita sounded like she was trying to trap him.

"Purple?" Ron made a face. "No way!" Then he paused, "She is green, right?"

"Yeah," Zita said softly.

"So what do you want to do after lunch?"

"Shouldn't you be looking for Monkey Fist?"

"You heard Sensei. He needs to come to me." Ron stuck another portion on the small plate Rufus was using, "We may as well have fun waiting. Right, little buddy?"

"Nghuk," Rufus nodded and dug into his food.

&

Next, Ron and Kim attended a question and answer session with Jack Crawford, and one of the show's writers and a producer.

It was during one of Crawford's long-winded stories that something occurred to Ron. "Kim?" he whispered.

"Yeah, Ron?"

"We've dated since high school, right?"

"Yeah," Kim looked at him almost as though he should know.

"So, you're the only girlfriend that your Ron's ever known?"

"Right." Kim's eyes widened just a bit. "You think he wanted something new," she whispered fearfully.

"Not consciously," Ron put an arm around her. "Just like I might have wondered… deep down…"

"About me?"

"Yeah." Ron came close and looked into her eyes, "I didn't plan this, KP, and I'm sure he didn't either."

"But it still happened because of something you both feel."

"I wish I could say different."

"So what do you do now?" Kim asked.

"I wish I knew."

£
Next, Ron and Zita attended a question and answer session with Jack Crawford, and one of the show's writers and a producer. Zita seemed down. She hardly looked at the actor she seemed to crush on, and she wasn't laughing at the funny stories they told.

"Z," Ron whispered as he put an arm around her. "What's wrong?"

She didn't answer for a moment, "You changed me."

Ron didn't like where that was going. "I love you just as you are," he told her. He figured he could learn, at least. Mystic idol or not, something had to be there for them to have married. Looking at her in that slave outfit explained part of it.

"But not as I was before," she whimpered.

Ron began to see what he had to tell her, but he wasn't sure how. "Suppose I told you," he took a breath, "I wasn't completely honest about the blonde thing."

"What?"

"Suppose I told you that I did switch you and Kim."

Zita was listening carefully, hanging on every word.

"That I was married to Kim before, but now, I'm with you."

"You're playing me," she breathed, wide-eyed.

Ron shook his head, "I was before, but this is real."

Zita grabbed his neck violently and kissed him passionately.

Ron was hesitant at first, but his libido decided very quickly that he should just enjoy this moment. He then kissed right back.

"Yum," Zita said when their lips unlocked.

"Feel better?"

"Much," she whispered, remembering where they were. Then her eyes clouded, "You didn't say that just to cheer me up, did you?"

Ron answered cautiously, "Yes, but I had lied earlier, thinking that it would spare your feelings. When that backfired, I told you the truth. Forgive me?"

"Sure, so long as you never ask me to change my hair."

"Wouldn't think of it," Ron reached up and handled a lock of her dark hair. It was softer than he thought it would be. He could get used to this.

"I have to admit, part of me would like to rub this in Kim's face." She showed off a cute frown, "Is that evil?"

"Maybe," Ron admitted. "But she doesn't remember, so she won't know unless we tell her." After a pause, Ron gestured with his pointing finger, "That would be evil."

"Okay," Zita said reluctantly.

"Um, Zita?"

"Yeah."

"Did Kim and me ever date?"

Zita stared at him, then her eyes narrowed, "Why?"

Ron leaned back quickly from her anger, "No need to jel," Ron said quickly. "It's just I don't remember the real history that you do, and I was curious."

Zita visibly calmed, "Sorry, Ron." She sighed, "Yeah, in high school. You guys got together at the Junior Prom. Everybody thought you guys were perfect, too. I guess I feel I still have to compete with that."

"Well, we obviously broke up."

"Yeah, summer after high school."

"Then you and I got married."

"Not immediately, silly."

"As happy as we are now?"

"You are such a romantic."

"So before you kill me for forgetting, when's our anniversary?"

Zita giggled, "June seventh."

Ron got a bad taste in his mouth, that's when he married Kim. Well, at least he'll remember it.

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