Chase's Bad Day Part One
By Allison Cameron and Stella Bonasera
House sat there and twirled his cane. Cameron and Foreman stood beside him, watching impatiently. Cameron glanced at her watch and then back at the bustling corridor. Chase came round the corner dragging a huge suitcase towards the trio.
"Isn't it Cameron who's supposed to pack loads? Hey maybe you and her could share a room so you can share girlie secrets and face packs? I'm sure Foreman wouldn't mind being left out." House commented as he stood.
Chase shrugged and grinned then flicked his hair over his shoulder - think L'Oreal adverts – at which they all suppress a snigger. Cameron turned on House.
"Actually, I have a problem with that. I mean if I have to share a room, can't I share with Lisa?" Three blank faces stared back at her; she rolled her eyes waiting for the inevitable question.
"Erm, who's Lisa?" Foreman asked confused. House looked at him pityingly then at Chase who was wearing the same expression as Foreman, and then he turned back to Cameron.
"Lisa? You didn't ask her did you?" he asked her despairingly. Cameron just smiled smugly and turned her back to him. Chase and Foreman turned to one another trying to figure out who their colleagues were talking about.
Cuddy and Wilson came round the corner talking as they walked towards the waiting group.
"Come to see us off?" Chase asked the Dean of Medicine. Cuddy looked at Cameron as Chase walked out to the waiting car. Cameron smirked and then grinned as she watched Chase struggle to put all the baggage into the car.
"Guess they weren't paying attention, huh?" Cuddy said and rolled her eyes.
"Everyone meet Lisa." House stated to the waiting group as Chase approached from outside. Jaws dropped faster than geese at hunting season.
"Yup. That's right. I'm coming along too." She smiled as Chase passed Foreman a despairing look.
"There's no need to look like that, I can have fun!" The over-zealous head of hospital insisted. Chase snorted and turned away and House raised an eyebrow at her.
"What?" She asked incredulously. Wilson raised as eyebrow at her behind her back. So that Chase had a hard time not laughing at and Cameron exchanged a look with House that said, 'You wanna tell her?' House shook his head in answer and Cameron pouted.
"Lisa, no one says 'fun' anymore, not in that context anyway." Cameron explained wearily. Lisa frowned.
"I could always just cancel this little trip ya know. And Chase? Quit laughing at Wilson, he's gonna get it later, unless you want it now?" She threatened slowly with a raised eyebrow and a dangerous twinkle in her eye. Chase hurried forward with his hand outstretched, plastering on a big fake smile.
"Welcome aboard, I hope you have a pleasant trip with us." He shook her hand enthusiastically as Foreman laughed into his hand.
"Has you nose changed colour yet? To a sort of sludgy brown?" House asked with obvious distaste evident in his voice. Chase threw him a glare to which he just grinned annoyingly at and Cameron looked down at the ground to hide her smirk. Cuddy held back a grin and asked.
"Can we stop by my place, on the way there? I need to pick up a few things."
"Me too." Wilson interjected; Chase looked at his watch.
"Well then, we better get going, or else we'll be late." He answered as he hurried back to the car. Cameron looked over at House with an exasperated face to which he just rolled his eyes and looked away in Chase's direction so no one could see his smile.
"Chase, stop the car." House ordered.
"What? Right here?" Chase answered keeping his eyes trained on the heaving traffic. His nerves were stretching to snapping point and he didn't think he could cope with any more of House's comments.
"Yes, right here in the middle of a busy highway. I want us all to die." He said sarcastically. Chase, sat there gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles would have glowed in the dark, resisting the urge to get out of the car and tell him to do it his bloody self. Instead he frowned and narrowed his eyes as if House was in the car in front, rather than sitting next to him.
Cuddy was reading a medical magazine in the back squashed in between Wilson and Foreman, while Cameron rattled around in the boot bashing her shins on the suitcases whenever they went round a corner (she had to go in the boot because she was the smallest and there weren't any spare seats).
The car in front as if reacting to Chase's glaring started to inch forward so Chase followed suit grateful to be actually getting somewhere. The car in front sped up and started to go faster then stamped on the brakes suddenly. Chase had to do so too and Cuddy pitched forward between House and Chase's seats. House turned to her.
"Ya know, you didn't have to make it this obvious you wanna get near me. You'll start making Cameron jealous." He said and looked at the back expecting her to pop up at the sound of her name, when she didn't he carried on.
"If you want we can get Cameron up here, and then shove Wilson and Foreman in the boot so we can have the entire backseat to ourselves." He said and winked suggestively at her. Cuddy grinned back at him.
"Come on then flyboy, let's see your moves!" She placed her hand on his. She leaned forward and the scent of her perfume mingled with his cologne. He looked down intending to avoid looking into her eyes and saying something stupid, but his gaze landed squarely on her cleavage. He averted his eyes just in time for Wilson to look up and see his best friend and his boss' face inches apart and grinned evilly. He reached across and nudged Foreman who snored and then jerked awake, staring blearily at the scene playing out before him. He whimpered and Cameron's head appeared over the back of the seats.
"OH……MY…..GOD!" She yelled and Chase nearly crashed the car again as he jumped much to the annoyance of the surrounding drivers, as he had not noticed the scene going on beside him. House and Cuddy both turned to look at Cameron.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE WITH ME. EVERYONE SAYS SO!" She yelled and Wilson stuffed his fingers in his ears to muffle the noise and saw Foreman follow suit. Who knew that noise of that level could come out of something so small and timid. Foreman turned towards her,
"Now please don't yell, but who's 'everyone'?" He asked confused and nonplussed.
"Everyone, ya know, everyone. Ya know?" She said and flumped down to rest her head on the headrests defeatedly.
"Well, I guess, I'll have to break it to them nicely. Hope they won't mind too much, and if they do mind I'll just threaten them with you Lisa. Is that okay by the way?" She asked and then not waiting for an answer turned and started talking to Wilson about something that no one normal would have found interesting. Cuddy and House turned back to their earlier discussion.
"So, who is sharing rooms with who?" He said and looked into her face again.
"Erm how about you and Wilson together, me and Alli and Foreman and grumpy-guts here?" She said jerking her head backwards to indicate Chase. House nodded thoughtfully.
"How about me and Wilson be in 3824 and then you and Cameron can be in 3823 and then Foreman and Chase can be in 3825. Is that okay? Cos I have some plans that involve being in the next room." He noticed that they were near Cuddy's turning.
"Turn here, Mr Grumpy-Guts." He said and gestured.
"Hang on how do you know where Cuddy lives?" Chase asked.
"Ah, ah ah, Only friends get to call her Cuddy or Lisa you get to call her…. What was it again?" He said as he turned to Cuddy.
"Dr.Cuddy, Dean of Medicine in PPTH - Princeton Plainsboro Training Hospital" She said nodding. Chase rolled his eyes.
"How about PPTH for short?" He asked turning the car down Cuddy's street.
"Oh no, you've gotta say the whole thing!" House answered before Cuddy could even open her mouth. Chase pouted and pulled up the hand brake.
"Hurry, we're gonna be late!" Chase said as her checked his watch yet again. House gave Cuddy a look and opened his door. Cuddy grinned to herself as she clambered out over Wilson, who raised his eyes heavenwards so as not to get an eyeful of his boss' chest.
"You mind?" He asked Cuddy as she got out and brushed her hair out of her face.
"Nope." She said as she stretched. Wilson looked away as her jacket and top lifted ever nearer showing her bra. She frowned and let her arms drop back to her sides.
"Grow up." She shot at him. Wilson glanced over at House, who waved his cane in a 'bugger off' motion, as he manoeuvred his way out of the car leaning heavily on his cane.
"As my good friend Greg has said (you might know him), 'And dogs should stop licking themselves, it's not gonna happen.'" Cuddy rolled her eyes, sighed and walked to her front door. Wilson smirked at House as he got out and went round the back to let Cameron out.
"What? You mean you actually want to come out? Damn! I was hoping you wouldn't! That meant I'd only have to get Foreman, Chase and Wilson out of the way. Damn! Guess I'll have to lock you all in a room." He said as Cameron clambered out of the boot and seized a little bag and attempted to hit House round the head with it.
"Would you mind stopping that? That's Chase's handbag! Isn't it?" He said and turned to him with a straight face holding out the handbag. When Chase didn't move he continued.
"Don't you wanna powder your nose?" He said and looked behind him at Cameron who was stood there, arms folded watching this exchange with an amused expression on her face.
"Have you two quite finished? Cos I believe that Cuddy might need a hand with packing a few things, and I would like to get passed." She said and moved to squeeze through the space between House and the car. As he didn't move, she couldn't help but feel her legs brush his and looked up to apologise and got caught up in his eyes. She tore her gaze away quickly and pushed her way passed Chase who turned to follow her and argue.
"What have I done? He was the one who was provoking me!" He said and then nearly collided with his colleague when she stopped abruptly. She turned slowly to face him and when she stood facing him she said one word that was so unlike her and made him want to yell at her and laugh at the same time.
"Bothered." She then turned and went into the house leaving four men all in different states of mind. House was wondering about the look. Wilson was wondering how they all were gonna make it to this conference alive. Foreman was thinking about why Chase had a handbag. And Chase was stuck on whether to laugh or cry at what she said.
Cuddy and Cameron appeared a few minutes later and found all the men standing where they had been when they left. House was the first to notice they were there but only when they were putting the bags in the boot and Cameron 'accidentally' brushed his leg with her hand. Cuddy saw this happen and started thinking about whether she should either take some of her pay or just flirt with him in front of her and make her jealous. She was still thinking about it as she walked back to her seat and settled herself in it. The surrounding men all recovered from their brief contemplation session. Cameron had settled herself into the back seat next to Cuddy and when Foreman went to get in after Wilson he found that there was no more space except the boot.
"House tell Cameron to get outta my seat." He said looking at her. House looked round at the occupied backseat and it's seated members.
"Leave her there. You can sit in the boot for once. It's not going to kill you. Unfortunately." He said as he turned back to face the front.
"Why should I? You'll never sit in the boot would you?" Foreman said in a sudden moment of anger. House had his door open in a flash and slowly got out and drew himself up to his full height so he towered over Foreman who looked up at House's face.
"Okay. I guess, I'm in the boot." He said and trotted around the car to the back and squashed himself uncomfortably in. House seated himself again and Cameron leant forwards and laid a hand on his shoulder. He looked round and she murmured her thanks to him. He nodded and turned back to the front and Chase started the car.
"Now to Wilson's." He said as he turned out of the street.
"Turn right here please." Wilson piped up a couple of seconds later near a junction. Chase complied and House turned to his friend.
"I never knew you lived so near Cuddy. Why didn't you tell me?" He said and glanced between his best friend and his boss.
"What else haven't you been telling me?" He said and shot a look at Cuddy and Cameron.
"Cameron if I were you, I'd move before a full blown snogging session starts back there." Cameron looked across and then nodded and started clambering into the front next to House.
"Jesus!" Chase said and braked. House looked at him slightly shocked.
"Cam, we really don't need a ticket right now!" Chase said trying to focus again.
"That's blasphemous!" He said the slight shock showing through.
"I've probably been working with you too long. That's what it is." Chase said with a rueful smile.
"So where now Wilson?" He said placing his hands back on this wheel firmly.
"Erm, we're here. Great braking by the way." Wilson said as he got out and disappeared into his house to collect his bags. He reappeared moments later with two bags. He opened the boot and shoved them on top of Foreman. He then waved to someone at the window who was watching them and got into the car again. In that time Foreman clambered over the back seat and thumped into Wilson's seat. Wilson shrugged and sat inside the boot squiggling until he was comfy.
"That's how long it should take. Not three hours." House remarked as the car started off again. Cuddy looked over at Cameron and they both rolled their eyes. House noticed and raised an eyebrow at them in the rear view mirror.
"Uh-oh, they're having a 'all girls together' moment. Wilson, you better make sure you wash when we get the, it might be catching." House told him in the back.
"Grow up." Both Cameron and Cuddy said together and Chase snorted a snigger. Cuddy leant forward and whacked him round the head hard.
"Ow! Get off. I'm trying to drive here!" Chase yelped, rubbing his arm and keeping his eyes still on the road. Cuddy smirked and flicked a glance at House as she leant back in her seat.
"See something you like, flyboy?" Cuddy said amused. Cameron nudged her slightly as a warning, but Cuddy ignored her. House smirked.
"That's a funny question. See if I asked that, I'd already know the answer because you definitely do. People often only ask questions they want answered." Cuddy glared at him suppressing a blush.
"Now, now, Lisa. We've got to set an example for the younger people." He admonished as he leant around the seat and whispered loudly.
"Wait until we're at the hotel, okay? Then they won't see so we can do whatever we want." He winked at her and turned back to the front of the car, a smug smile playing on his lips.
Cuddy rolled her eyes as if nothing he'd said had affected her. Not true. That look he gave her when he said things like that made her want to… Her imagination finished the sentence for her. And it involved him, ice cream and a hotel suite.
Cameron studied her out-of-it boss and then turned to glare at House. He just carried on smirking, very satisfied with the blush spreading across his boss's face, the result of his little speech. Cameron scowled (it didn't look very attractive) and Wilson leant over the back seat to see what was happening.