We, The Alpacas in a Blender, still own nothing. ElfLuver13 only wishes she owned Legolas.
Chapter Two: Freakin Sweet Welcome
The Hogwarts Express finally reached Hogwarts. As the students were walking into the Great Hall, they were greeted by familiar sights, smells, and faces.
Napolean noticed the floating candles and the Great Hall's ceiling. "Dude, that ceiling is pretty much the sweetest ceiling I've ever seen. It's freakin' sweet."
Ron raised his eyebrows and gave Harry a somewhat odd look.
Harry, Ron, and Hermoine all went and sat down at the Gryffindor table. Napoleon and Pedro followed, and sat down next to them. Hermoine looked over at Napoleon and asked, "How do you know that you're in this house?"
"What?" Napoleon said. "I dunno, GOSH! Some old geezer just told me to follow you, so that's what I'm doin'! GOSH!"
"Okay, okay! Sorry," Hermoine said, turning back to face Harry and Ron to wait for the sorting to begin.
The sorting was soon over, and the feast began. Ron immediately began stuffing his face with anything he could reach. Hermoine looked at him in disgust and started eating in a more civilized way.
Harry looked over at Napoleon and Pedro. Pedro was tasting some of the food, but Napoleon was just staring at his plate.
"Uh, you can eat now," Harry said.
"Where are the tots?" Napoleon demanded.
Harry stared at him. "Uh... What?"
"The tots! Where are the tots?"
"Uh, I dunno..."
Napoleon stood up.
"Where are you going?" Hermoine asked him.
"To find some tots!" And with that, Napoleon set off to search the other three tables for some tots.
Ron watched him, shaking his head in amazement. "That Napoleon is one weird dude," he said.
"He's not weird, Ron!" Hermoine exclaimed. "He's just not used to how things work at Hogwarts, that's all."
Suddenly Ron burst out laughing. "Look at him!"
Harry and Hermoine looked where Ron was pointing. Napoleon, having no success at the other house tables, had made his way up to the staff table, and was asking each of the teachers in turn if they had any tots. Some of the teachers simply laughed and shook their heads, and others just raised their eyebrows and stared at him. Snape glared at him and ordered him to go sit down.
"GOSH!" Napoleon said, as he sat back down next to Pedro. "That freakin idiot should go and eat a decroded piece of crap or something," said Napolean furiously.
Harry and Hermoine looked at each other. Ron was too busy laughing to share in their exchange of glances. Ron couldn't help but laugh, and he was laughing so uncontrollably he sprayed all of his food into Napoleon's face. Napoleon, who took offense, chucked some weird colored orange substance at Ron. Ron ducked and he actually hit the back of Goyle's head. The stupid ogre, Goyle, turned and threw a handfull of peas at Hannah Abbot. Hannah turned and nailed Malfoy square in the nose with a entire apple pie. Then of course, all chaos wreaked loose, and as soon as the teachers had noticed, (it was about five good minutes, and even then it was only because a large, messy slice of blueberry pie landed on Professor Flitwick's head), Dumbledore immediately stopped the food fight.
"We are a school of brilliant children, well most of us, and we do not show it by throwing food across The Great Hall, like wild baboons," Dumbledore said irritably.
Ron had left The Great Hall and was in the Hospital Wing. He had choked on a sandwhich he was chewing on. He had such an uncontrollable laughing fit, he nearly died. Madam Pomfrey said that he should really control these fits. She doesn't have the time to worry about him. Harry made this task especially difficult for Ron. And Napolean managed to do the same without even really trying.
Madam Pomfrey finally let Ron leave the Hospital Wing about an hour later.
"Well, that should teach you to start a food fight, now shouldn't it?" Hermoine said.
"Shut up," Ron shot back. "I didn't start the food fight. It was Napoleon."
Hermoine rolled her eyes but didn't say anything else as the three of them headed back to Gryffindor Tower, followed by Napoleon and Pedro.
When they reached the fat lady, she asked for a password.
"Delicous Bass," said Napoleon.
"No, it's Fairy Lights," said Seamus, just now turning the corner.
"DARN!" Napoleon shouted.
Seamus gave Harry a quizzical look. Harry just rolled his eyes and shook his head as the portrait swung aside.
Upon arriving at the Gryffindor common room, Napoleon met the most fascinating creature he had ever seen. Dobby.
"Sweet! Is itsome kind ofliger?" Napoleon asked.
"What's a liger?" Ron asked.
"It's a cross between a lion and a tiger. They're pretty rare."
"Those don't exist," said Hermione.
"Yes they do! Now shut up!" he shouted.
"Dobby is a house-elf sir," the small creature said.
"Oh, sorry," Napoleon said. "What the heck is a house-elf?"
"House-elves are magical creatures that work like slaves for their wizarding owners," Hermoine said bitterly.
"Oh."
"Well," Ron cut in, "I think I'm about ready for bed."
"Me too," Harry agreed. "Good night, Hermoine."
"Good night," Hermoine said, heading for the stairway that led to the girls' dormitory.
Harry and Ron started towards the boys' dormitory, but Harry turned as they reached the stairway. "Hey, Napoleon, Pedro, are you coming?"
"Yeah, in a little bit," Napoleon said.
"Yes. We'll be up in a minute," Pedro echoed.
"Okay," Harry said. He and Ron turned and went up the stairs and got into bed. As he fell asleep, Harry could have sworn he heard dance music down in the common room, but he assumed it must be his imagination and one too many slices of pie.