Walk away and I stumble

Chapter seven

They were standing in a small room, a baby crib between them, Harry and Severus both stood over it looking in lovingly. Then suddenly from nowhere Severus had a pillow in his hand and before Harry could stop him he was smothering the sleeping baby.

Harry awoke with a start, he hated these dreams, they were so vivid and real, he didn't want to think that the potion professor would ever hurt there baby even if he didn't want to be with them.

The dreams had become more and more life like over the week that he had been away from Hogwarts. Sometimes it was Severus' murdering their child like tonight and other times he saw Voldemort taking his baby.

Harry flopped down upon his bed unable to get back to sleep and his stomach churning, he was feeling very nauseous so he didn't attempt to kept up or move because he knew that as soon as he did he'd need to dash to the bathroom.

He caressed his stomach gently while moving slowly to get up, the thought of cooking breakfast for himself was a little too sickening for him to bear but getting dressed, at least part way was an achievable goal.

However when he sat up his bout of nausea hit him hard and he had to make a quick dash for the bathroom but he made it on time and was able to empty the contents of his stomach.

Along with that Harry was suffering from minor heartburn and slight indigestion as his body adjusted to being pregnant. His waistline had not really expanded at all, only a slight amount, his trousers still fit him at least.

Harry had planned on going some shopping, buying something's for the baby, he had delayed the latter as he had hoped to be doing it with Severus but the older wizard had not of yet come to his senses, in fact Harry had heard nothing form him.

Severus had in fact buried himself deep in his work trying to forget about Harry and trying to suppress his feelings for the Gryffindor, it had all been in vain so far. He had avoided Poppy completely as she had the habit of glaring at him in a horrid fashion.

It was only when she was in desperate need of potions that she had run out of that he had to finally face his demon that was in the form of an irritable medi-witch.

"I'm glad that you stopped by Severus," Poppy said as he entered with a handful of potion vials, "I need a word."

"If that word is Harry Potter I am not interested."

"It is but you need to hear this," Severus motioned for Poppy to go on but he did so in a way that suggested that he wasn't the slightest bit interested. "Harry specifically told me that I was not to give you his address unless you asked for it."

"And that concerns me how?"

"I know you miss him Severus, we can all see it, just admit it to yourself, he's different, you feel for him and the sooner that you admit that the better it will be for the both of you." Severus seemed unable to respond so poppy continued, "I'm going to see him next week, you are very welcome to come with me, I will of course be doing an ultra sound to see if the baby remains healthy."

Snape nodded and left promising he would be back with more potions later, as he walked he dwelled upon what Poppy had told him, he wanted to see Harry again, what she had said was true, he did miss him but he wasn't sure he was ready for everything that went with being together.

Although it wasn't as if he had a choice in the matter. Then again there was so much else going on right now, especially with Voldemort being back, there was no word on his plans but Dumbledore had got a rough idea of what they entailed.

Did he really want to bring Harry back to Hogwarts where Albus could manipulate him into fighting in the war, he had heard from other order members what Tonks had said about Harry's baby. She had wanted him to fight anyway, the baby's safely be damned, he had experienced a small cry of outrage at this but then asked himself why did he care. He could think of a hundred answers and they all made him wonder why he had let Harry go.

Did he really want to be a single, greasy, big nosed, potions master his entire life or was it that he was just too scared of what could be that he didn't realise what he already had. He would never admit this to anyone but he pined to be with Harry but to him it was too late, the young Gryffindor would never forgive him now.

However he did deserve to see unborn child at least once and made a mental note to tell Poppy that he would be accompanying her in a week's time, once again Severus held back his tears as he did often nowadays, he refused weakness, he couldn't be weak, love was to be his only weakness.

Harry had been happily spelling the second bedroom into something cute for the baby, assembling furniture and such to his liking, he had already bought a few books and teddy bears for his child. Poppy was due later and he was anxious to show her what he had done.

He had had to purchase larger tops as his jeans were now extremely tight, he'd bought elastic trousers for the later stages. His morning sickness had started to ease off a little now but he was still feeling a little nauseous in the mornings. When he had written to Poppy to say this, he'd actually done a little happy dance when, for the first time in weeks he had managed to keep his breakfast down where it belonged, she had told him that was perfectly normal.

Harry was in the baby's room when he heard Poppy floo into his sitting room, and then her voice followed. "Harry, I hope you don't mind I bought a visitor for you, he was anxious to see you."

"I'll be right though Poppy," Harry said as he pulled on a t-shirt and then walked through into the sitting room while saying: "I can't wait to show you the …" He stopped in mid sentence when he saw Severus.

"How are you?" Severus asked, he knew it was lame but it was the only thing he could think of to say, the fact that they had shared long in-depth conversations between sexual intercourse didn't seem to come into consideration.

"Pregnant, you?" Harry responded as he gazed into deep onyx orbs that seemed to penetrate his own emerald eyes.

"Boy's if you could reframe while I examine Harry then you can have your tense reunion while I am not here."

"Of course, sorry Poppy, but before you go I must show you the baby's room, I've just finished it, using magic of course."

"What colour have you done it?"

"Yellow, I didn't really want to paint it pink or blue seeing as we don't know the gender yet, when will I be able to find out?"

"I can do a spell today if you want," Poppy said as she waved her wand and the screen appeared showing the baby inside of Harry. "Your little one is in perfect health, I can see that the joints have formed nicely and if you look closely you can see that the baby has begun to swim around although it'll be a while before you can feel those movements."

"Wow, it's amazing" Harry said grinning madly, then remembering Severus he glanced over to the older wizard who was watching in astonishment, there in front of him was his unborn child, whether it was a boy or a girl it was absolute perfection. "What do you think Severus?"

"Beautiful" He managed to say, Poppy gave a small smile to Harry and a subtle wink, she then closed the screen and vanished the gel like potion.

"Right are you ready to find out the gender?" Harry nodded eagerly and Poppy cast the spell, a faint pink light surrounded his abdomen. "Congratulations Harry, Severus your going to be having a baby girl."

"A girl?" Harry said with tears of joy filling his eyes.

"Yes, congratulations, now, show me this room of yours and then I will be on my way, I have to say that I do love this little place, it's so cosy."

"Yes, it's perfect isn't it, it was actually my parents place." Poppy nodded with interest as she was lead through to the nursery.

The walls were yellow but had the occasional sunflower, butterfly and bumblebee. The crib followed the same sort of pattern, yellow and white chequered canopy with the same bedding, the wood was white and there was even a yellow teddy in the corner.

"You have done a marvellous job here Harry, it is perfect but may I suggest that you put no added stress upon your body and only use magic if necessary, the baby is feeding on your magic now."

"Okay, I'm done in here for the moment anyway." Harry said, he noticed that Severus had followed them through and was also looking around the room. "I suppose I can think up possible names."

"Alright, just be careful from now on, I'll see you in a couple of weeks then, now you boys play nice, if you need anything I'm only a fire call away."

"Thank you Poppy, see you in a fortnight."

A few moments later and Poppy had gone and Harry offered Severus tea and cake, he had made it especially for Poppy and his meeting but seeing as Severus had turned up he may as well put it to good use.

They sat down together in the reception room even though they said nothing, it was Harry who broke the silence first. "I assume that you did have something to tell me, do you want to say it sometime soon?"

"I've missed you these past two weeks" Severus said, his voice was barely above a whisper however Harry heard each and every word that escaped his lips.

"Is that it, you miss me?"

"It's more than I felt for Ian."

"Who?" Then comprehension dawned and before Severus could enlighten him Harry cleared it up for him, "The guy you left when you discovered he was pregnant, is this just habit for you or something?"

"There are many reasons Harry, I refuse to drag up my past here, most is too disturbing, I doubt I'd be able to cope but there is something about you that made me care."

"So a thousand other men could never reach you, how could I have been the one?"

"I don't know, I've been asking myself that very same question."

"Do you love me?"

"I cannot say that I do for I do not believe that there is love only infatuation and lust, the need for sexual contentment."

"How can anyone not believe in love, the one emotion that keeps us going that starts unstoppable wars and fuels our lives?"

"It is a curse that all each member of the Snape family is burdened with."

"I refuse to believe that but I think I now realise why you left all those men when you discovered that they were pregnant, were you afraid that those children would end up alone and unloved for the rest of their lives?"

Severus said nothing, Harry took that for confirmation. "Did you not have faith in your lovers that they wouldn't allow this, you're a fool Severus Snape plan and simple?"

"For once I think I agree with you, I am a fool but I am the way I am for a reason Harry." Severus said gravely, his nose was buried in his tea cup now, he refused to look up and meet Harry's gaze.

"If you put your nose any further into that cup then your going to need a snorkel, I need to know what you intend to do now and I want you to look at me when you tell me."

"And if I have no answer?"

"Then you can leave and come back when you do, I won't be messed around, I will always be honest with my feelings, I love you Severus but our child comes first, I refuse to allow her to be messed around in our couple issues."

"Whatever your definition of love is Harry I know I feel something for you, I wouldn't be here if I didn't and I know it isn't much for you but it's a lot for me even though it may not seem that way."

"I do understand that Severus and I know that you have issues to work through and I am willing to help you work through them because I want to be with you."

"I don't understand why when you could have anyone in the world."

"Okay to start off with I couldn't have anyone, not now, look at me I'm already gaining weight, no sane man would come near me, you don't count because your not sane and you made me this way and secondly, that is the first issue we are going to work on, why do you not have any self confidence?"

It was indeed a very long night and by dawn the two wizards were snuggled together on the sofa, somehow during the night they had shifted into such a position that Harry was in Severus' arms, leaning against his chest, using it as a pillow.

It was Severus who awoke first, astounded that they had talked for so long and fallen asleep in such an uncomfortable position, his back was killing him but the sight of a sleeping Harry Potter curled up against him made his heart melt.

There he was, stomach slightly swollen, eyes closed peacefully and worry lines gone, his left hand was placed protectively over his stomach where the baby was, if ever Severus believed in love it was this moment.

At least that was the case until emerald orbs fluttered open and Harry's eyes met his own onyx orbs, when the potions professor smiled Harry could have kissed him, of course he didn't, instead he began to sit up, stretching cramped muscles.

"Do you want to use the bathroom while I cook breakfast or the other way around?" Harry asked this in such a casual tone that one would expect that this happened often and Severus hadn't walked out on him a few weeks ago.

"Umm, you go for the bathroom and I'll cook, what do you feel up to?"

"Nothing stressful, certainly nothing fried, maybe toast and waffles, I like waffles, so much better than pancakes because you can fill the little holes with things."

Severus laughed, he hadn't laughed for so long, in fact since the day he found out about the pregnancy, Harry's hear fluttered at the sound, he always did like to hear the Slytherin laugh. "Waffles it is then."

Harry couldn't really remember the last time that they had sat down like this and just talked, it was nice however Harry hadn't forgotten what Severus had done, far from it, it was the foremost topic in his mind however he knew that there was no need to bring it up, not after the long conversation they had had last night.

Harry sat with Severus at the round oak table eating waffles filled with chocolate, cream, yogurt, jam and even marmalade with icing sugar all over the top, Severus settled with the latter and chose not to comment on Harry's strange variety of toppings.

"I know this is sudden and it may be a little too soon to be asking this of you but I was wondering if you wanted to accompany me out this afternoon." Severus asked nervously all too aware that it was more than likely this was going to be rejected without a second thought.

"I'm not sure and it isn't that I don't want to but there are a lot of muggles around here along with witches and wizards, I'm either going to be recognized as the boy-who-lived or the muggles will see my not so subtle bump."

"Can we not floo or apperate."

Harry shook his head sadly, "You heard Poppy, the baby is now feeding on my magic I can't do anything that may stress the baby."

"Oh, I am sorry."

"Don't be sorry, this is … kind of new to you, you've never experienced a pregnancy before, we're both a little lost so don't worry and just because we can't go out doesn't mean that we can't stay in."

"But this place is tiny, I don't know how you cope."

"It's not that tiny and besides it's more cosy, in fact I know exactly what we can do."

"Are you going to tell me what you plan for us to do?"

"You are going to be taking an active role as a father from today."

"I am?"

"Yes, you are going to help me finish the baby's room."

"But I thought you told Poppy that it was finished."

"I only told her that so she wouldn't think that I was going to over use my magic and finish it myself, now I have you to do that for me."

"So what do I have to do?"

"Come with me and I'll show you."

Another chapter finished WOOOOOO! Please review and tell me what you think, thank you to everyone that has reviewed, it means a great deal to me. Love you all.