Walk away and I stumble

Chapter thirteen

After four days of being in the hospital wing Poppy had finally discharged both Harry and Kayla. Severus was all too happy to have them back in their chambers.

While Severus taught his classes Harry would look after Kayla and train for the coming battle, he was working on getting himself fit again, after only a walk to the great hall had tired him out.

He was taking is slowly, he had to, every so often he would stop and feed and/or change Kayla who seemed to be a very well behaved little girl. She hardly ever fussed, obviously taking after Severus when it came to behaviour but Harry when it came to mischief making.

Only the other day she had spelled her pacifier to her and her bottle as Harry had been preparing them for her. Apparently she didn't have much patience either, Severus blamed James for that.

Harry was scared that she was coming into her powers already; he dreaded to think how much power she was going to have once she grew up and learnt how to channel it. He just hoped that he was around to see that time, to help her, to teach her.

That had been plaguing his mind lately, Harry would zone out for minutes at a time wondering about whether or not he was going to be alive to watch Kayla grow up, whether he would be able to live long enough to give her a brother or sister. He didn't know and that scared him, he didn't' dare voice these thoughts to Severus who was evidently worried about it enough.

Harry had heard nothing from Ron or Hermione so it seemed that Severus' threat had been taken literally, they knew he was not one to make idle threats, at least not when it came to protecting Harry.

It was after a long day when Harry had been busy taking care of Kayla and training himself for the final battle between him and Voldemort that the exhausted couple collapsed upon the sofa together. Kayla had just been put down to sleep and Harry was welcoming the peaceful state he found himself in.

"I wish that this moment would last forever, just you and me, nothing else in the world but us, I mean Kayla is perfect in everyway but I miss this, I miss just being you and me, remember all the fun we used to have and the desk?"

"Yes, I remember it clearly; especially the look on Dumbledore's face when you asked for a desk that memory will last forever, you know I never thought that one person could bend as much as you did."

"You did your fair share of flexible positions if I remember correctly and one of them must have been particularly penetrating."

"How so?"

"It resulted in Kayla silly."

"Ah yes, well maybe for a while we should avoid that particular position for a while, at least until Kayla is two."

"It's just a shame that we can't remember that position" Harry said grinning madly, "So how about we go and see if can remember it."

"So soon, aren't you sore?"

"It'll be fine if your gentle with me" Harry said running a hand down the older mans chest towards his groin, "But it's been so long and I'm just dying to be close to you again, to feel you inside of me."

"Alright, on one condition, that we use suitable precautions."

"Since I have no desire to be pregnant so soon after Kayla I'll agree to that."

Harry resumed kissing his fiancé, slowly undoing his shirt buttons to reveal an averagely hairy chest, they were just getting into it when a cry emitted from Kayla's room, interrupting them.

"You go and get comfy, I'll be right through." Harry said as he got off of Severus who he had been straddling. "I'll be right back, okay?"

"Sure, don't be long Har." Severus said as he made his way through to the bedroom while taking off the clothes that Harry hadn't yet managed to remove.

Harry made his way through to Kayla who was crying loudly for her mummy, as Harry fed his daughter he thought of how much had changed, the laughs that they had shared, the positions that they had found themselves in and the silly little fights, between it all he had fallen in love with the man.

There was only one thing about his life that he would change, no prizes for guessing what that was. The thought of the pending battle with Voldemort just wasn't to bear thinking about.

He stayed and watched Kayla until she had fallen back to sleep before he returned to Severus who was awaiting his return eagerly, "What took you so long?" Severus asked him.

"Nothing, Kayla was being fussy after he feed is all" Harry said as he joined his lover on the bed, straddling him.

"If that's your idea of sexy talk I suggest you find a better technique" Severus suggested teasingly.

"Fine, how's this." Harry leant down so that his lips were right next to Severus' ear and began to whisper in Parceltongue.

The reaction from Severus was instantaneous, he was moaning and thrashing about in seconds, he was hard just listening to Harry speak, this was the normal routine with sensual, sweaty, sweet, salacious, scornful, slutty snaky sex that they hadn't had the opportunity to take part in for some time now.

It was as they made love over and over Harry couldn't help but think back to all the times that they had made love previously, he thought of the time that Kayla had been conceived, well, he more wondered which position that they had used.

It was as they lay cuddled up in bed together that Harry began to cry, Severus who was already dozing and practically asleep already didn't notice. Harry was glad about this as he really didn't want to explain why he was crying, especially since it was more tan likely to cause more arguments.

Not once had Severus fed or changed Kayla, he had barely spent anytime with her anymore and he was constantly giving off an air that he knew something that Harry didn't, it was really starting to annoy him by this point, he didn't want to think that Severus was distancing himself.

As carefully and quietly as he could he slipped out of bed, using his wand he summoned quill and parchment to him and then enchanted his clothes and Kayla's to pack themselves as he composed a note.

Dearest Severus

Words cannot describe how deeply in love with you I am but it has recently come to my attention that you do not fulfil the role of father to Kayla even though that is your role in her life.

I cannot only think myself anymore, if you truly want me then you must realise that I come with Kayla in tow, you cannot have just me. I am so sorry if you feel that she was the worst thing to happen in our relationship.

I have not gone far, do not fret, I will return to Hogwarts every two days for training and if you are willing, and I understand if you are not, you could have Kayla for the day while I train, if not Poppy can take care of her.

I will be staying at the cottage for the time being as there are no other places that I can go but for the time being I ask you not to come and look for me as I believe that this time apart will not only strengthen our relationship but if I die it will make it so much easier for you.

Recently I have been recalling our relationship before Kayla, how carefree and spontaneous we were, I believe our first time was in the upstairs hallway of Snape Manor and you made some random comment about carpet burn.

These were good times and will live on in my memory for eternity but unfortunately times have changed, we have brought a beautiful little girl into this word and Voldemort has come to claim my life.

It was wishful thinking that I could ever be happy! With all my heart, Harry J Potter.

With this written and his bags packed Harry went to bundle Kayla up and place her in her basket so that he could carry her. It was late and the castle was deserted but this was only an added bonus.

He knew that leaving Hogwarts and Severus was sudden, almost impulsive but he knew in his heart that it had to be done, he couldn't continue pretending that they were the perfect happy family because it just didn't work that way.

Harry had to face it, Severus was just not the fatherly type.

Okay, I know it's been a while and this isn't a long chapter but at least it's a chapter right … right … ah smeg it, I've been a very bad author and I'm very, very sorry. I have a long list of excuses but I won't bore you with them, I hope to get another chapter out soon but until then I may post another story. Don't forget to review. xxxxx