Chapter Seven A Plastered Time
Remus cupped his hand in his face, he almost let himself break apart in front of her. She looked at him so...so...kindly... He felt his insides numb as he thought of her brown eyes looking at him. He had felt so warm sitting next to her, telling her all those Hogwarts stories. It seemed so surreal, almost. So make-believe.
He wanted so badly to go back and just sit next to her again, he could tell her so much and he knew she would listen. It felt so right; so what was stopping him from pursueing her?
The thought of her being Lily? What if she was Lily? He had once been a very close sentiment part of Lily's life, it wouldn't be so hard for him to recognize her. Of course this girl looked hardly anything like her...why Lily had large green emerald recognizable eyes and Flower has warm chocolate eyes that absorbed Remus from the ground.
What if he did pursue her? What if he got too comfortable? What if she left him if she were to figure out his secret? They always did.
He's had his fair share of hearbreaks, leaving his heart so tender and fragile. He hasn't let the warmth of a woman near him since almost his years at Hogwarts. He dated around afterwards but his heart was back at school with another...
He walked around Diagon Alley, his hands deep in his pockets. In the corner of his eye he saw a familiar hooked nose person. He turned his head and to his prediction, he had been right.
"Severus...?" he said to himself in a mere audible tone.
He moved slightly closer to see if he could get a better look at who Severvus was speaking to. He was slightly surprised when he saw the pudgy little figure that was Peter.
Remus observed the way Peter moved nervously, edging away from Severus as if they were back at Hogwarts.
Severus shoved by Peter and stalked off into Knockturn Alley. Remus could have sworn Severus disapear into the fog, but that was probably his paranoia kicking in.
Remus finallly ran up to Peter, "Wormtail, where've you been mate?"
Peter jumped almost out of his trousers, "Were you watching me?"
Remus felt insulted for a second, "Um, no." Peter sighed. "Although, I did see Snape talking to you five minutes ago. How did that go?"
Peter's round face went slightly pale and discolored, "Jus-Ju-Just catching up, coincidence we bumped into eachother. And you know the bloke, doesn't r-r-really like to umm...get disturbed."
Remus gave him a skeptical look, "That's odd, you'd think he'd grow up by now." Remus noticed how Peter's watery eyes darted to the right and then made their way to the left.
"You'd think," Peter nodded agreeing, his voice still uneven. His eyes dropped to the scars on Remus' arms, "That full moon really took a lot out of ya', huh?"
Remus looked down, following his eyes, "It never gives me a break."
"Hmmm," Peter thought for a while, "You'd never guess who I bumped into in the States."
Remus cocked an eyebrow up, in a questionable form. "Ash!"
His eyebrows went up, definately, "Really? How is she?"
"Engaged, if thats what you mean." Peter's eyes glittered mischeiviously. "But if you didn't, health-wise she's okay, she says she has a nice house." Peter looked over at Remus, as though edging him to ask more questions.
"Well, did she ask about us?" Remus asked, leaning agaisnt a near wall, causing skeptical looks from nearby ladies.
"Well," Peter started, he was quite the gossip. "She tried merciless to avoid 'the talk' about Padfoot, you can tell. But it did come up, and she did seem concerned about him. She didn't ask much about you or James... come to think about it. She says she's sending us invites to her small wedding, she calls it."
"Mhm," Remus said, he was losing interest in this topic. He felt his thoughts take him elsewhere again.
"So where were you off to?"
"I was just strolling. Going to go check up my old flat." Remus said nodding.
"You know, Moony, that also is the way to the Mungos hospital wing. If you were wondering." Peter said with a glint of glee in his eyes. Remus started to feel uneasy and his train of thought stopped, he would have preferred another topic.
"Thats nice." He added, feeling the same unease.
Peter's watery eyes because two hard peices of ice, "She's sicker, y'know, weak. Her memory is very thin. She doesn't even recognize me when I enter the room, although I hear that she mentions me a lot." His voice quaked. Remus swallowed, guilt stabbing his side calling him a stupid cunt. "Somehow, with her memory weakness, she seems to remember you." His voice suddenly became angry. "She remembers you, even though you never go see her. You never write to her. You don't even remember her."
Remus opened his mouth in protest, "That's not true-"
Peter put his hand up to stop him, "You don't need to try to fool me with your excuses Moony, I'm not the one you should be convincing. She is sicker though." And with that said, Peter started to walk away. His hands in his robe. "I'll be sure to write more often now, I finally bought a new owl."
Remus noticed disturbed how Peter clutched his left arm as he apparated.
"So tell me about this bloke again?" Heather asked, putting her chin in her hand. She gave Flower a big smile. Flower had invited her over to her flat. Flower gave her a small giggle and blushed a little.
"His name is Remus...I don't know why, but theres something about him that draws me near him...like I know him already. It sounds weird, right? I've never seen him before, I met him on the train when I came here..." She tucked a peice of her hair behind her ear bashfully.
Heather snorted, she threw a peice of popcorn in her mouth, "I highly doubt this guy is anything special."
Flower shot her a look, "He is so. You don't know him."
"Neither do you, you've only talked to him a few times. What about his skeletons in his closets? Everyone has some of those."
Flower shrugged, "That doesn't mean that everyone of them is going to mean trouble. "
"Doesn't mean everyone of them's not going to cause trouble."
Flower shifted uncomfortably in her chair. She didn't like to think of Remus as some kind of deranged psycho killer, he was just too...nice. It felt good to be around him, he had a comforting presence that made her feel just right inside. Something she hadn't felt since she lost her memory.
"Listen," Heather said softly noticing Flower fidgeting in her chair, "He's probably as swell as you make him out to be, I'm just being overly cautious trying to look out for you."
"Well I can look out for myself, thanks." Flower snapped crossing her arms. "You don't hear me getting all judgemental about your wedding."
"Well, whats wrong with my wedding?" Heather cried nervously, she stopped eating popcorn now and was looking at Flower. Her eyes large with curiousity.
Flower shrugged, indecisively, "It was just an example."
"No, really, whats wrong with it?"
Flower let out an annoyed sigh, "This isn't even about you so don't even try to turn it around. The point is, I met someone who I think is really worth something." Heather gave her a small look. "Not in money Miss Gold Digger! I swear..." Heather smirked and gave a little shrug.
Flower shook her head and gave a quick glance at her watch, "Oh gawd...I'm late... We have to go. Like now." She grabbed a green thick coat that hung from her brown coat hanger.
"Go...?" Heather asked, not processing the message
.
She shot Heather a look as she wrapped her scarf around her neck, "I have work."
They made their way walking through the streets in the cold, every once in a while Heather would slow down her pace to look around. The surroundings were so different then her not so busy home and she couldn't help but feel a bit envious.
"This is where you work?" Heather started, observing the chipped black gate.
"No, This is where I go to get tea," Flower rolled her eyes sarcastically.
Heather ignored this," So how is this job of your what exactly do you do?"
Flower shrugged, "Nothing much really, I just run errands for that half crazy Sirius Black."
Heather's eyes lit up, "The one who writes sports articles for the Daily Prophet? They say he's dreamy.."
Hearing this Flower couldn't help but snort, "A loon more like."
"Nothing compared to this Remus, eh?" Heather nudged her playfully in the ribs.
"Nothing," Flower agreed. She opened the door and left her coat at the hanger.
"Shouldn't you have knocked?"
"Nobody ever knocks around here." scoffed Flower, telling Heather to hang up her coat.
Suddenly they heard a cluster of steps in the floor above them. Stomps and things being pushed over was heard.
A head peaked over the side, "Where have you been? You should have started working an hour or so ago! I give you a nice pay, I don't give you much to do and the only thing I need from you is promptness. Thats all I ask of you."
Flower felt herself blush. How dare he yell at me infront of company like that? Who does that bloody wanker tosser think he is? "I was just running a bit behind-"
"A bit?" Sirius sputtered. "The deadline for my article was half an hour ago, I had to go myself and get a lecture about tardiness."
Flower had enough, "How awful, I pity you. So dreadful to have to do something yourself."
Sirius stared at her, "Its not that I can't Flower, its that I pay you to do that. What am I paying you for if I have to do it?"
"Don't yell at me." Flower hissed at him, dangerously.
"Don't tell me what do you, I'm your boss. And if you want to continuously live in that nice flat of yours you better go off to do your work upstairs. I have envelopes you must stamp and address. Holly is very sick today so if you hear a bell please just go see what she wants. I leave the house to you."
"And where is it your going?"
"To France...I uh, must go pick someone-something-up." Sirius then shoved past Flower and apparated away.
"That's your boss?" Heather replied critically.
"Yes." Flower said feeling humiliated.
"Well, I'll see you back at your flat. Have fun." And she too apparated away.
Flower heaved a sigh, she knew that Heather was making up her mind about Flower's job. She could just imagine the things her so called friend was thinking. She was still unbelievably angry at Sirius, he should have known that she was going to be embarassed. Who did he think he was? She stopped thinking about him and moved towards the room and sat at the desk with all the envelopes and supplies thrown about it. God, this was going to be one long and monotonous day.
About an hour after she had started on stamping and addressing the letters ( she hadn't even made a dent in the pile. how one man could have so many letters that need to be sent all at the same time she didn't know) a pop of someone aparating sounded from the frount room along with several drunken sounding thumps and much more cursing. Great, Flower thought savagely, now he's back drunk and mad. This day keeps getting better. But the person who stumbled drunk into the room was not Sirius Black at all. Quite the opposite. It was Remus Lupin.
"I...um...didn't expect you." Flower replied uncomfortably.
Remus looked up at her and just fell over, "Of course you didn't expect me...you didn't know I was coming..." He fell into fits of laughter mixed with a few snorts. "What (hiccup) time is it? (hiccup)"
"Umm... like two or something..." Flower said edging towards him. He looked sweaty and his eyes looked distracted. It wasn't the Remus she met, it wasn't the well-together man who was different then other guys to her. The smell of alchohal filled her nostrils. "Isn't it too early to be drinking?"
Remus stared at her, his eyes glossed over, "It could be...it could be not...but it if you were me...it'd be too late..."
"Too late?" She repeated, she didn't know what to do. This whole thing seemed so surreal to her, so fake... Why did Frankie have to suggest this job?
"Oh Flower...you have nothing holding you back in life...you're pretty...you're smart...you don't have any (hiccup) traumas in your life holding you back...Hell! You don't remember your past! I must sound super (hiccup) rude..." He said staggering to the side. Flower felt her face heat up. No hold backs? Try having a horrible fear of trains...and a fear that your whole world could come crashing down at any moment...You try being stuck not knowing where you came from...Not knowing you once loved you...Not knowing who you once were...
"Remus..let me make you a cup of tea, savvy?" Flower wiped her pants off and helped Remus to the living room. Her mind traveled back to the letters Sirius had told her to address. "What umm...have you done today?"
Remus snorted, "What does it (hiccup) look like I did today? Don't play dumb." He looked up at her and snorted again. "You want to know what happened to me today Flower? I saw my past...and I didn't like my present..."
Flower cleared her throat uncomfortably, she could feel his breath on her, it gave her goosebumbs. She summoned the tea with her wand. "What, um, what do you mean?"
Remus sat back, sweat was trickling down his forehead now, "You remember when (hiccup) we had that talk the other day? ("Yes...") Well, I have fallen in love...I fell in love twice...and to be frank (hiccup) that's all I've needed to realize..." Remus' voice drowsed off, Flower was now curious with what he had to say.
"Realize...? Realize what?" Flower sipped her tea.
"Realize...that no one can ever love me...no one..." Remus turned his head away. She heard his swallow. He looked up. "What's that smell?"
"Lavender...I put some in the room...I thought it smelled good." Flower shrugged. She felt her face heat up more. She felt so awkward and naked sitting infront of him.
"It smells good...like Annabelle..."
"Who's she?"
"She's...gorgeous..." Remus was lost in his world now. "She was girlfriend for forever...not to mention like my best friend...she had curly hair...curly curly... She was gorgeous. Beautiful... I miss her..." He curled up in the fetal position and hiccuped a few more times.
"What-what happened?"
Remus looked at her again, "She got sick. Very sick. There's no cure for what she has, so we only have to wait for her to get better...(hiccup) Why am I telling you all this? It's only making me feel worse..."
"Here have tea-"
His arms flew up and it knocked the tea out of her hands. "I don't want tea! I want to stop waking up to the same picture! I want to stop waking up to the same memories! She's dying Flower! I haven't talked to her in forever, I haven't seen her in forever, and its sort of funny, because even though I haven't thought about her or seen her, I think about her all the bloody fucking time."
"She-She's dying?" Flower's voice tensed up.
Remus sniffed, "She's really sick...they say she's terminal...(hiccup) I'm a stupid tosser and I'm going to die that way."
Flower felt bad for him, she felt her chest drop, "You're not Remus...you're sweet, kind, honest-"
"A liar, tosser, dumb bloke-" Remus stopped in his tracks. He looked up at Flower. "You're pretty. You're nice. You're sweet. You shouldn't be here talking to a bloke like me, you should be out-(hiccup) with a mate who adores you..." His weight shifted and staggered back and forth. He was lost in his memories. In his grief. He leaned in and tried to kiss her but she moved away.
"What are you doing? You're pissed." Flower got up and walked a bit away from him. He stood up too, blushing.
"I'm sorry..." He walked towards her. "I rather do it while I'm plastered because I know I won't when I have the chance." He kissed her smoothly agaisnt her lips. She felt herself let go, her arms fell. She kissed him back. Relaxed.
She heard a pop.
"Remus?" Sirius' voice rang through their ears. It may have been a mere audible voice but to Flower it was like a giant bell ringing and echoing through her ears like a huge reality check.
She backed away. Sirius was staring at Remus with an angry expression. "You, we need to talk. Now." He pulled Remus into the kitchen. Flower stood there blushing from head to foot. There was still someone there. She turned and saw a man standing there with jet-black hair and silver brimmed glasses.
She didn't know what overtook her, "James?"
A/N-I know this took a while... I'm sorry. And I actually wasn't going to have Flower and James see eachother for at least two more chapters but a lot of readers really wanted this so WOOLA! Ha... Anyways, I want to thank the readers and reviewers. I want to thank Ashy for helping me with this chappy. THE FICCYS NOT OVER! I am working on the next chapter as you read. It should be out next week. As always, no flaming but CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM.
33 Drew.