Author's note: Huh boy. Ok, now that I'm home, things may get a little more...off. I'll still update once a week (even if I have to fight tooth and nail to get online), but things will be a tad rough in the meantime.
And a heads up for the future: June and July I'll be in Japan, so after May 31, you won't see anything until August. Just so you don't think I fell off the face of the planet.
Enjoy.
Sasuke was comfortable. That was problem number one.
Problem number two: He was really warm. Problem number three...
...His pillow was breathing.
Peeling open his eyes in the bleary morning light, Sasuke slowly took in his surroundings. Somehow, he'd ended up in the middle of the bed...sprawled over Naruto. His head rested on the blonde's chest, one arm was thrown about his waist, and one of his legs had flopped between the quietly dozing Naruto's. A band of warmth just below his shoulder blades indicated that not only was Sasuke wrapped around Naruto like a blanket, but the blonde was also keeping him there.
Trying not to wake him, Sasuke slowly lifted his head from Naruto's muscular chest and tested the blonde's hold on his back. Naruto made a low noise deep in his throat at the movement, tightening his grip and flattening the slimmer Uchiha upon him. Sasuke frowned, resting his free hand upon Naruto's chest.
How do I get out of this without waking him? Eyebrows furrowing, Sasuke tried again to push himself away, but Naruto simply resisted his movements. The blonde seemed just as determined to keep him there as Sasuke was to get away.
Letting out a soft sigh of frustration, the Uchiha let his head fall back against the blonde's chest. Naruto's arm immediately relaxed, though his grip was firm. Deciding to give up for the moment, Sasuke took the moment to enjoy his potentially embarrassing position. His eyes lowered to half mast.
If it weren't for the fact that when he wakes up, I'm never going to live this down, this would be really nice. He allowed himself a smile. Naruto's a surprisingly comfy pillow.
After relishing the feel of being allowed to hold Naruto—and be held by him—for about ten minutes, Sasuke felt Naruto's arm relax. He gently slipped out from underneath it, relieved that he was actually able to do so without either being recaptured or waking the blonde. Sighing, he rubbed his eyes and stood.
Never one to be able to sleep after he'd woken up, Sasuke decided to head to the bathroom and get ready for the day. He could watch TV until the great lumbering idiot awoke.
Yawning lightly, Sasuke rummaged through his duffel bag, grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste, and stepped into the bathroom. He glowered at himself in the mirror as he brushed his teeth.
God, I hate mornings. His eyes traveled down to the pajamas he was wearing. Even with Naruto's insistence that these were the only ones that would fit him, they were still overly large, tending to show a bit more of one shoulder or the other than he was comfortable with.
His eyes narrowed. The loose pajamas combined with his very firm bed head made him look...ruffled and lopsided. Not that Sasuke was overly concerned about how he looked, but...
"GOOOOOD MORNING, SUNSHINE!"
Sasuke nearly swallowed his toothbrush as Naruto barged into the bathroom, a big smile on his face. Giving him a sour glare, Sasuke spat out the toothpaste in his mouth.
"Since when are you a fucking morning person?" he growled.
Grinning, Naruto walked over behind the brunette, flopped his arms over the other boy's shoulders, and sagged, resting his chin against the point where Sasuke's neck met his shoulder. He gave Sasuke a sleepy smile through the mirror.
"I'm not. I just felt like acting like one for a moment." Yawning, he folded his arms, crossing them over Sasuke's chest. "I didn't expect you to get up so early."
Sasuke was already trying to fight down a blush at the way Naruto was holding him, disconcerted by the press of Naruto's chest against his back.
"Did I wake you?" he asked eventually. Naruto blinked sleepily at him, apparently falling asleep on his shoulder.
"Mm. You were already gone when I woke up." He tilted his head. "I think I got cold."
Since you weren't using me as a blanket anymore, I can imagine. Sasuke frowned as Naruto continued to sag.
"Don't even think about falling asleep on me, Uzumaki. I'm not going to hold you up," he warned. Naruto simply smiled at him, watching his eyes in the mirror.
After a moment, Naruto pursed his lips and straightened. "You know, I just noticed something, Sasuke."
"What?" he asked irritably. Just get off me before my body realizes that it's you pressing against me.
"You look adorable."
Sasuke blinked. "What?" he found himself repeating.
Naruto grinned, releasing Sasuke's shoulders in favor of wrapping his arms firmly about his waist. "I said, you look..."
To Sasuke's utter surprise, Naruto hoisted him into the air and swung him.
"Absolutely adorabible!"
Sasuke's brain couldn't comprehend what was happening, the thoughts, I'm in the air, Naruto has me by the waist, and Naruto is swinging me back and forth in the air? tripping through his mind.
A second later, his mind caught up to what was happening.
"Naruto!" Embarrassingly enough, Sasuke's voice nearly cracked on the boy's name. "Put me down!"
"But you're so cuuuuuute!"
"Dammit, Naruto, I'm not a fucking plush toy! PUT ME DOWN!"
Chuckling, Naruto set the red-faced Uchiha back on his feet and patted him on the head. He ignored the slap his hand received as he leaned forward and rested his chin on Sasuke's shoulder.
"It's your fault. You looked cuddly, and I happen to be affectionate in the morning." He gave Sasuke a silly smile. "I take no responsibility for my actions."
Forcing his blush to recede, Sasuke scowled at him through the mirror. "Do you do this sort of thing with Kiba?"
"No. He hurt me."
"Ah." Eventually deciding that it wasn't worth the effort of staying mad at him, Sasuke looked down at him with an exasperated glance. "You are the oddest person I've ever met, Naruto."
"Coming from the single oddest person in the universe, that's something." Smirking, Naruto straightened and walked out of the bathroom. He paused by the doorway, resting a hand on the doorjamb.
"I think I'll stop molesting you for now and go make breakfast. Waffles ok?"
Sasuke nodded slowly, and he watched the blonde depart. Stop molesting me...for now? Clearing his throat, he bent over, turned on the faucet, and splashed some cool water into his face.
Am I going to survive this weekend?
After they ate, Sasuke changed into a black shirt and an old pair of jeans. He looked himself over briefly in the mirror.
Let's not forget, the plan is to get Naruto to kiss me by the end of the weekend. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Sasuke decided that his clothes, while being old enough to get dirty (though he still had no clue why that was important), still looked damn good on him. Smirking, he strode out of Naruto's bedroom and sought out the suddenly absent blonde.
"Uh huh. Yeah, things are going fine." Naruto's voice filtered out of the kitchen, so Sasuke headed in the direction. He paused and leaned against the fridge as he watched Naruto turn to look at him, a phone pressed to his ear.
On the faded gray sweatshirt he wore, the words, "Don't Play Stupid with Me. I'm Better at It," were scrawled upon his chest. Sasuke smothered a smile.
Apparently listening to the person on the other end of the line, Naruto faced Sasuke and leaned back against the table, crossing his legs. His eyes swept down Sasuke's body as he made noises of acknowledgement to whatever was being said.
"Yeah, Auntie. I'm making a lot of progress, so I should definitely be done on time." Sasuke kept his gaze cool as Naruto looked him over, but his heart began pounding in his chest. "You don't have to remind me of that, I know I owe you a huge one for this."
Naruto brought his gaze back to Sasuke's. "Auntie, I have to go. I'll call you when I get back to school, alright?"
Sasuke waited as Naruto paused, made his goodbyes, and hung up. He couldn't resist lifting an eyebrow as Naruto took another good look at him and straightened.
"We need to find you a pair of boots. C'mon," was all Naruto said before walking past him out of the kitchen. Blinking, Sasuke frowned and turned to follow him.
What the hell was that about? His frown increased. He checks me out, and then he doesn't even say anything?
He stopped behind the blonde as he rooted around in the bottom of a small closet. Eventually, a pair of worn, brown leather boots was tossed at him.
"Here. If they're too loose, I'll lend you a pair of my socks." Naruto straightened and blinked at the sour expression on Sasuke's face. "What's with you?"
Caught, Sasuke schooled the expression off his face and gave Naruto a cool look. "Nothing."
Naruto shook his head. "Whatever." He watched as Sasuke bent to try the boots on. "How do they fit?"
Surprisingly enough, the boots were fairly snug. "They're fine," he stated, straightening.
Naruto smiled. "I figured they would fit. They're from high school, back when I was your height."
The blonde laughed when Sasuke gave him an icy look. "C'mon, hurry up! I want to go see the kids!"
Sasuke restrained himself from rolling his eyes as he waited for Naruto to grab two brown bags, followed the blonde out of the apartment, waited for him to lock the door, and followed him downstairs. Piling into Naruto's truck, the two headed out of the apartment complex and down the road.
Curious despite himself, Sasuke looked over at the blonde. "These kids you keep talking about...how old are they?"
"They vary," he replied absently. "One of my kids should be...five years old about now, but the others are from ten to fifteen years old."
"Whose kids are they? A relative's?" Sasuke asked, vaguely frustrated at the fact that Naruto refused to tell him any detailed information.
"A friend's," Naruto responded as he made a right turn. Growing irritated, Sasuke frowned and glanced at the landscape. The houses were disappearing down this road, transforming into what looked like a farm (or something similar) with a wide span of forest behind it.
Where the hell are we going? A prick of unease made the hair on the back of Sasuke's neck rise. Frowning uncertainly, he lifted a hand to smooth it back down. I have a really bad feeling about this...
Naruto pulled into a long dirt driveway, slowing down as he made his way towards the house at the end. Shifting uneasily, Sasuke stared out his window.
I have a really, really bad feeling about this.
When Naruto came to a stop in front of the off-white ranch house at the end of the driveway, Sasuke cautiously opened the door and stepped out. The smell hit him first: dirt, trees, and a lot of manure. Frowning, Sasuke took a step away from the car and looked cautiously at the fenced in pen before him.
Thut. Thut. Thut. Thut.
Sasuke stilled. That isn't the sound of a cow.
The muffled footsteps quickened, turning into the unmistakable sound of cantering feet on grass.
Oh, GOD no...
Abruptly, a young black stallion burst into view before Sasuke, coming right up to the fence and whinnying.
When Naruto turned around, Sasuke was plastered against the side of his truck, his face sheet white. Sasuke couldn't tear his eyes off the huffing, stamping horse in front of him.
Please tell me that thing can't get to me. Please tell me that it isn't going to jump that fence and kill me. Sasuke swallowed hard.
Of all things to bring me to, why'd it have to be HORSES?
"Heeey, Chance! How are you, stud?" Chuckling, Naruto glanced over at the excited horse. "I haven't seen you in months! You got big."
He's talking to it?
Naruto glanced back at Sasuke. "Sasuke, meet one of the kids. This is Chance, one of our studs. He's a black bay, and very proud of how gorgeous he is."
Sasuke stared at him. Please don't tell me that all of the "kids" he was talking about are...
"Oi, Naruto. Did I hear you say 'our' stud? Last time I checked, you didn't work here."
His face melting into a cheeky grin, Naruto turned to the boy in faded jeans, a brown shirt with rolled up sleeves, and a bored expression.
"Hey there, Shikamaru. Missed you, too." Chuckling, Naruto slapped the other boy on the back. "Thanks for letting us come out here! I hope you didn't have to cancel too many riding lessons."
Shikamaru shrugged. "None that can't be rescheduled. Besides, you're giving me a day off."
"Something I'm sure you're in drastic need of," Naruto returned dryly. "How often a week can your parents even get you to work?"
"Too often." Shikamaru glanced at Sasuke, who had finally managed to peel himself off the side of Naruto's truck. "Sasuke. Long time no see."
At the slightly less-than-cheerfully-delivered greeting, Sasuke managed to take his eyes off the horse and look at Shikamaru. He gave a low grunt in reply.
Forcing his body to act like it wasn't expecting that horse to break out and trample him at any second, Sasuke walked over to join Naruto and shoved his hands in his pockets.
"You could have told me we were visiting a stable," he stated dryly.
Naruto simply grinned. "And spoil the surprise? And we're not just visiting, Pretty Boy." He glanced at Shikamaru, who was gazing at Sasuke with a mild expression of dislike. "Have they been fed yet?"
"No. I figured that you wanted to do it. Who was I to argue?" He sighed, lifting a hand to scratch at his scalp. "Tending the horses is so—"
"Troublesome, I know." Rolling his eyes, Naruto threw an arm about Sasuke's shoulders and grinned at him. "Ready to meet the other kids?"
There are more?
Silent, Sasuke allowed himself to be led to the large, blue barn before him. He found himself side-stepping manure on the way, frowning lightly when Naruto stepped in a pile without a care. Doesn't he realize how disgusting that is?
Naruto caught his look, then glanced down. He laughed lightly. "It's a riding stable, Sasuke. It's going to happen."
Making a low noise of acknowledgement in his throat, Sasuke followed Naruto through the doors of the indoor stable. A separate room veered off to the left, but Sasuke's attention was caught by the occupied stall in front of him. He swallowed hard, locking his face into an impassive expression.
Five more horses stared at him with mild interest.
"So, let's introduce you around," Naruto declared flippantly. Walking up to the first stall on the left, Naruto called to the tremendous, sandy-colored horse inside. It walked over to the gate, sticking its black nose through the bars to receive Naruto's loving attention.
"This is Leo, my son. He's my favorite boy, yes he is!" His voice coated with honey, Naruto planted a smacking kiss on the side of its muzzle.
...And I wanted to kiss him?
Turning towards him, Naruto gestured for Sasuke to come closer. "You can pet him, you know. He won't bite...probably."
Touch it. Right. After a moment's hesitation, Sasuke moved forward and lifted a hand towards the horse's muzzle. He paused about two inches away from touching it, the image of retrieving a bloodied stump at his wrist forcing his hand to freeze. Schooling up his courage, he placed his fingers on the horse.
Niiiiiiice horsey. Don't eat hand. Good boy.
The dun looked almost bored with him, slowly moving its head away. Sasuke gladly dropped his hand to his side. I still have five fingers. That's a plus.
Placing a hand on Sasuke's shoulder, Naruto pointed to the chestnut mare in the adjacent stall. "That's Flora, the gorgeous Arabian mare across from her is Nova, and the gray next to Nova is King." Keeping his hand on Sasuke's shoulder, Naruto led the Uchiha around the stable and presented him to each horse. Sasuke managed to keep his cool, but his left eye twitched slightly whenever he was required to touch one.
"Finally, we have Sioux, our fabulous Appaloosa mare."
Sue? Sasuke stepped forward, an eyebrow lifting. I should be able to trust a horse named "Sue," right? He then glanced at the name plate beside the stall. ...Oh. That Sioux. Greeeeeat.
The horse currently drinking from its water bucket was brown from its head to its shoulders, but a tremendous patch of white with black spots covered its entire hind end and looked like it was attempting to swallow the rest. When Naruto called to it with a loving, "Hey, mare! How've you been?" the horse glanced up and approached them.
Anticipating Naruto's request, Sasuke lifted a hand to touch the horse's muzzle.
Just before he reached the mottled skin, Sioux tossed her head and eyed Sasuke with a shockingly blue eye.
Had Sasuke been a lesser man, he would have run into the corner and hid.
The mottled skin around the eye and the blindingly white sclera around its blue iris (combined with just how much taller the horse was than him), served to send chills down Sasuke's spine.
It wants to kill me. It soooo wants to kill me.
Naruto chuckled, running a hand over Sioux's jowls. "This girl is perfect for beginners. She's bomb-proof." When Sasuke gave him a look, he grinned. "Seriously, you could light a fire-cracker under her tail, and she won't care."
You've tried it? Sasuke swallowed. "I'll take your word for it."
"Here, spend some alone time with her. You'll need it." He turned away, heading for the darkened room off to the side of the front of the barn. "After all, she's going to be yours."
My what? Sasuke stared up at the horse, thanking his lucky stars that the gate seemed secure. The mare gazed at him for a long moment, sticking her nose through the grate and sniffing at him. Sasuke took a step away from her, staying cleanly out of range.
A rustle and a grunt behind him made Sasuke turn to see Naruto pull out a long bale of hay. Dropping it, Naruto snagged a knife off a table running along the side of the first stall and cut the twine holding the hay together. He gathered up three sections of hay and headed for Leo's stall.
"Hey there, Baby Boy. Hungry?" Balancing the hay in one arm, Naruto unlocked the gate and slid it open. "I've got breakfast!"
When he stepped inside and told the horse to move out of the way so that he could dump the food in its corner, Sasuke stared at the still-open gate.
He's leaving it open? What if it gets out? He watched in frozen dismay as Naruto rubbed the horse's side. He's standing so close to it! What if it kicks at him?
Debating whether or not he was about to watch the person he cared about get beaten to a bloody pulp, Sasuke shifted uneasily. Naruto returned to him without a scratch, sliding the gate closed and locking it.
"What's the matter with you?" the blonde asked abruptly. Naruto glanced over his shoulder at him. "You've been oddly quiet since we got here."
"Nothing's wrong," Sasuke answered immediately. He hesitated when Naruto went to gather more hay. "Naruto...what did you mean when you said that Sioux's...mine?"
The blonde looked up, grinning at him. "What else? As soon as we're done feeding and watering, we're going on a trail ride!"
...Oh dear god, he's not joking. An odd smile settled on Sasuke's face.
I don't think I'm surviving this weekend.
Another bale of hay and twenty minutes with a large hose (which had a bad habit of straying towards Sasuke when he wasn't paying attention) later, Naruto grabbed two long brushes and tossed one to Sasuke.
"C'mon. We have to brush the horses before we saddle 'em." Unlocking Leo's gate, Naruto stepped into the straw bedding and motioned for Sasuke to follow. "If we don't, they could get saddle-sore."
Sasuke only had two questions. One, horses got saddle sore? And two (and more importantly), Naruto honestly expected him to step into that tiny little stall with a horse that outweighed him by at least 900 pounds and attack it with a brush?
Sasuke would rather skip the wait and jump in front of a moving train.
When Sasuke still hadn't joined him after a few minutes, Naruto looked over at him.
"Hey, did you go deaf, dumb or asleep? Get over here."
Frowning, Sasuke cautiously stepped into the stall and moved to stand beside Naruto. The other boy lifted his brush.
"Make sure that you follow the pattern of the hair. Top to bottom and left to right, in a sweep like this." He demonstrated. "And roll the brush. Place the side of it against his skin, and roll it out as you brush."
With more than a little internal conflict, Sasuke mimicked Naruto's movements. He didn't immediately piss off the horse and end up flattened, so he figured that he'd done it right. Naruto grinned at him.
"Good. Now you work on this side while I brush down Leo's right side." He moved as he spoke, slipping under the horse's neck while murmuring, "Hey, boy. Looks like you got yourself a little dirty while I was gone. What have you been rolling in?"
Sasuke slowly began to relax as he continued to be able to touch the animal without dying. A small smile tugged at his cheeks.
Well, maybe horses aren't so bad...
"Oh, I forgot the other brush. Hang on a sec." Naruto ducked back under the horse's neck, stepping out of the stall...and leaving Sasuke alone with it.
All of Sasuke's ease immediately vanished. If he's gone, who's going to restrain Leo?
As if sensing that Sasuke had no idea what he was doing, the fifteen hands (5 feet from the ground to the withers) tall horse lifted its head and began to back up. Mild panic shooting through him, Sasuke backed away from the horse...only to have it follow him. His back bumped the wooden wall of the stall, indicating that he'd run out of places to go.
I'm gonna die. Right here, right now.
As the horse side-stepped closer to him, Sasuke heard himself asking, "Naruto, what kind of horse is this?" in an odd voice.
"Leo's a Quarter Horse," Naruto replied from the narrow area before the stall that connected the stable to the adjacent room, "but the black feet, nose, and line down his back with his sandy coloring make him a dun."
"Ah." Flattening himself against the wall, Sasuke felt his brain misfire as he watched that tremendous side edge closer to him.
Dun...da dun dun, he thought, on the edge of hysteria. Dun, da dun dun DUN!
Just before Sasuke was certain that he'd be smooshed, Naruto reappeared in the stall.
"Hey! Leo, get off him!" Frowning with irritation, Naruto snagged the horse's halter and tugged, leading him back to his original corner. "No squishing Sasuke. We want him alive."
Sasuke took a shaky breath, sagging slightly against the wall. I'm okay. No broken bones. I'm okay. Glancing over at Naruto, who was quietly murmuring to the horse while brushing him, he had the sudden, insane impulse to run over to him, bury his face in the taller boy's chest, and have a nervous breakdown.
Naruto glanced at him while Sasuke restrained himself. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," was Sasuke's immediate answer. NO, I'm not ok! Do I LOOK like I'm ok with this?
That fact that he was deliberately trying to look like nothing was bothering him escaped him for the moment.
Naruto watched him curiously for a moment. "You can wait outside if you want. I'll finish brushing down Leo."
Blinking, Sasuke pushed himself off the wall and approached the gelding once more.
"I said I'm fine. I can help." When was the last time I had a CAT scan?
The two finished brushing down the horse without any further mishaps, Naruto keeping up a steady stream of chatter as he bent and brushed underneath Leo's chest. When they were done, Naruto sent Sasuke out of the stall and led Leo out by a lead rope he'd clipped to the horse's halter. Turning the horse, Naruto hitched Leo to either side of the stable and unclipped the lead rope.
Hands in his pockets, Sasuke stared up at the tremendous animal before him. All he could think was that it would only take one kick to kill him. Just one.
Naruto disappeared, soon returning with a western saddle, a blanket, and padding. Handing the saddle to Sasuke, he placed the blanket on Leo's back, shifting it until the front edge rested on top of the shoulders. When he placed the padding an inch behind the blanket, Leo started shifting on his feet, turning his head to eye Naruto.
"Don't give me that look," Naruto replied without looking up. "You need to go riding, you lazy git."
Sasuke could've sworn the horse pouted as it swung its head forward. He started to move around when Naruto motioned for Sasuke to bring him the saddle, but a short, "Ho!" from Naruto made him still. Taking the saddle from the Uchiha, Naruto indicated the blanket and padding with a tip of his head.
"Hold those in place and make sure they don't slide, will you?" When Sasuke hesitantly complied, Naruto threw the saddle up onto the horse's back. A soft snort from Leo earned him a short, "Oh, stop complaining."
While Naruto went to work on the saddle, allowing Sasuke to back away again, Shikamaru made an appearance and stood behind the Uchiha.
"So, have you ever ridden before?"
Sasuke gave him a cold look that clearly stated, "You know very well I've never ridden a horse."
Shikamaru tilted his head to the side, his expression still vaguely unsatisfied. "Which one is Naruto putting you on?"
"Sioux."
"Mm. Sioux's good for beginners." The other boy glanced at the horse in question. "I guess Naruto cares about you after all."
Sasuke frowned. What's that supposed to mean?
"If I'd had the choice, I'd have put you on Nova. She knows exactly what she wants and expects to get it." A faint smirk crossed his face. "I consider her a crash-course for beginners."
In other words, she'd have thrown me off before I even got started. Sasuke gave Shikamaru a cold glare before ignoring him. Bastard.
"But you're in good hands with Sioux, so there's no need to shake like a scared rabbit. Just so you know."
Before Sasuke could open his mouth in denial, Shikamaru had already wandered out of the barn. Why that little...
Gritting his teeth, he turned back to Naruto, who was already making secondary adjustments to the cinch, which came underneath the horse's chest and secured the saddle. Sasuke frowned.
"Didn't you already do that?"
"He was holding his breath. I'm going to have to tighten it a couple times before we ride." Satisfied for the moment, Naruto turned and grinned at Sasuke. "Ready to saddle Sioux?"
Sasuke had the sudden image of an entire tribe of warriors descending on him and pummeling him senseless as he looked at the apparently peaceful horse. His gut sinking, he swallowed hard and stepped forward.
"Sure."
That's it. I'm certifiable. As he approached the horse, he could have sworn he saw a malicious glint in its baby blue eyes.
...And I'm so going to die.
Author's note: ...I am SO mean to that boy...but it's his fault for being such a self-centered bastard in the anime. And fyi, the withers are the area above the shoulders where the neck meets the back.