"What is that?" Dr. Rodney McKay asked, taking a step back.

Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, Teyla Emmagan and Ronan Dex looked at him as if he'd lost all of his significantly superior brain cells.

"Alien planet?" he challenged, defending himself against the wall of incredulous faces he was currently up against.

"Well, Rodney," Sheppard started in a condescending tone, "if it looks like a dog, walks like a dog, and barks like a dog, it's probably a dog," he continued as he petted the silky smooth coat of the small orange and white dog whose paws were currently making themselves at home as it jumped up on his thighs.

"Yes, and I'm sure if you asked the local villagers they would tell you that if it tastes like chicken, it's dinner," Rodney returned snidely.

In fact, the team had enjoyed a lovely dinner the night before as guests of the Ostians. Everyone but Rodney, that is. That Rodney was jumpy being back on this planet was a serious understatement. His last visit here hadn't gone so well; he had left the place with two more bullet holes in his body than he had when he started that doomed visit.

And Sheppard, from just days after that incident, once he had realized that Rodney really would be okay, had forever insisted to all who would listen that Rodney had been shot in the ass, and managed to bring up the subject whenever he could manage it. The colonel had actually convinced a fair number of people of this 'truth'.

Why had he ever found the man funny…Rodney let the thought trail away as he glared at his team leader.

"Rodney, relax. These people are our friends now, and trading partners. I'm sure they don't eat dogs," John added as he put his face up to the dog. "Give me a kiss…you wanna kiss me?" he asked the yellowish-orange eyed canine.

The dog dig not oblige, so Sheppard just kissed the dog's soft, spongy, jowly cheeks himself.

Rodney rolled his eyes. "They seem like friendlies to you, Colonel, but all I see are the people who tried to kill me."

"Dr. McKay, you are aware of the misunderstanding that occurred upon your last visit," Teyla patiently explained. Rodney huffed in reply. "We have returned to Ostia many times since then," Teyla continued, trying to be sympathetic to Rodney's feelings.

"We, Teyla?" he challenged. "As in not me."

Rodney continued along the path. The team was heading to some ruins not far outside the village. Energy readings had proven inconclusive in their initial perusal the day before; the setting sun and the Ostian leader Minerva's insistence that they join in the Feast of Friendship had cut short the inspection.

A massive downed tree blocked their path.

"Oh, right. I forgot. The obstacle course," Rodney complained loudly and with great sarcasm. "This is not my life, let alone my day," he finished.

"Doesn't McKay sound especially whiny today?" Ronan asked.

"Oh really? And have you had an Ostian shoot you recently?

"I have," John offered with a smile.

"Don't say it!" McKay warned, putting his hands over his ears with a flourish.

"And I didn't even get any of the good stuff!" Sheppard shouted anyway.

Ronan smirked and Teyla lowered her face in an attempt to mask her amusement. The smile that came to her face was unavoidable.

"Kill me now," Rodney said as he lifted his head to the sky.

"Hey, look at that," John announced, pointing to the large tree.

"That is indeed impressive for such a small animal," Teyla suggested.

The orange and white 'dog', though McKay wasn't sure he was prepared to call it that yet, had managed to leap up to the top, about five feet high, of the downed giant hardwood. The tree was the size of some of the smaller giant redwoods famous on the California coast.

"That is cool. He took only three leaps before he made it up," Ronan nodded in appreciation.

"See?" Rodney demanded. "That's not normal. He can't be more than ten or eleven kilos," McKay observed. "Those eyes are definitely not normal."

"So?" John asked. "He's all muscle, lean, and he's got a longer stretch in that torso than he looks when he's just standing there looking cute."

Rodney McKay had to reluctantly admit it…he was a cute dog. But it wouldn't do for him to grow attached; he was probably going to be part of the next meal the Ostians served them. And even if it wasn't, it was bad enough that he'd already grown attached to a certain Air Force colonel who exuded puppy dog tendencies.

Elizabeth would never let him bring home another.

"Whatever," Rodney stated indifferently. "Is someone going to go first so that we can get this over with? I'd rather not be forced to take another meal with these people."

"We should have brought Zelenka," John said under his breath to the non-science oriented members of his team.

"I heard that," Rodney said as he stood with his arms folded across his chest, waiting for a hand up.

"You did?" John smiled devilishly.

Ronan and Teyla took running starts and were both up on top of the giant log in no time. Sheppard put his gloves on, walked away from the log and ran to it, his tacky gloves and lithe body helping him to make it up fairly quickly. A quick hand from both Teyla and Ronan and all three stood at the top, with the little dog standing as though the fourth member of the team.

"We're gonna have to get him a little vest and a pack. Maybe he can carry an extra MRE or two for you," John joked to his friend still on the ground.

"That should help you get up better, having more food," Ronan stated. Teyla raised an eyebrow at the provocation in the comment. But the fact was that Rodney had only been back on active duty for a little over a week. He was still working at getting his strength back, though he would have struggled to get up on the top of this mountain of wood even on a good day.

"Oh, very funny," Rodney countered. "Give me a hand." McKay reached his hand up and Ronan grabbed it and heaved, pulling the scientist up, and unfortunately over the log. Rodney had no chance to get his footing and was slipping down the other side fast, with nothing to grab onto to slow his descent. He landed with a hard thud, a whoosh of a skid, and a loud groan on the other side.

"Jesus, Ronan, what are you doin'?" Sheppard yelled.

The dog made it to McKay's side first. He leaned his face into Rodney's and sniffed, and then placed his paw on the physicist's chest.

John and the rest of the team jumped down and ran to where Rodney had landed. Their teammate was pushing himself up to a sitting position.

"Ow," he said as he rubbed his left shoulder. "That hurt," he added, wincing. The dog stepped up on his lap and curled into a tiny ball. "Nice doggie," he said as he watched the animal make himself comfortable.

"Are you okay?" John asked as he got down on one knee next to McKay. "You kind of flew there."

"Yes, well, I couldn't let Fred take my spot on the team," Rodney joked as he petted the small dog now ensconced on his lap. "I figured I needed to do something dramatic to catch your attention."

"Fred?" John questioned with a grin.

"I think he looks like a Fred," the scientist said, still frowning as he rubbed his neck and shoulder.

"Are you hurt anywhere? Seriously?" Sheppard asked with concern.

"I don't know. I think I'm okay. I am going to be one giant bruise on this side. Carson's going to be pissed." He turned his head and hissed at the pain in his neck. "And what was that?" he asked, directing his question to Ronan Dex. "Beckett's going to be really mad when he finds out you did this to me. If you ruined any of his good work…"

"I'm not afraid of him," Ronan answered simply, interrupting McKay.

"You're about the only one who's not. Doesn't say much for your intelligence."

"Okay, boys, break it up," Sheppard said, adopting the role of referee. Or mother. "What are we doing, Rodney?"

Rodney looked down in his lap and then back up at Sheppard. He decided that he'd better get out while the gettin' was good.

"I think this planet is a jinx. And if it's not, then it certainly has it in for me. Can we go home?" he pleaded. He really didn't need to leave because of injury, although the bruises were wasting no time in developing, he could feel it. But the fact was, and he would never admit this to anyone, though the man kneeling next to him knew him well enough to figure it out, he was starting to like this dog way too much. Whether it was from missing his cat, or just having to deal with the stress of living, and nearly dying in the Pegasus galaxy, he wasn't sure. All he knew for sure was that Fred was sticking to him like glue and it made him feel better.

Man did he need to get a life.

John smiled at his friend. "Sure." He looked back at the tree blocking their way. "We'll have to do some walking and hack our way around this tree." There was no way Rodney was getting back over the way he came, for which the scientist was no doubt grateful. And there was a treacherous looking drop on the root end of the tree. They would need to cut through the thick undergrowth for a couple of hundred feet of forest in order to find the top of the fallen giant and make their way around it.

"Yes, my day keeps getting better and better."

"Do you want to put Fred down?" Sheppard asked. "I'll give you a hand up."

Rodney looked down at the now napping dog. "He's napping," Rodney said sadly.

"Dogs sleep most of the day away, Rodney," John reminded.

"I doubt this one does," he said quietly as he petted the large orange ears. "Can you take him?" he asked Sheppard. "Try not to wake him."

John rolled his eyes, but he knew that Rodney hadn't caught it. Rodney only had eyes for Fred. Going back through the gate today was going to be a heartbreaker.

Sheppard took the dog with both hands. Teyla helped Rodney up. The noise and the activity woke Fred and he leaped out of the colonel's arms and lunged for the top of the fallen tree.

Rodney looked up sadly at the dog. Fred looked down at this day's playmates, let out a high-pitched howl as Beagle-like dogs are wont to do, and then flew up and stretched his long frame into the air and disappeared over the far side.

Rodney's teammates looked at him, waiting to follow his lead on what to do next. He brought his eyes away from the now empty log. He looked at John and smiled and started to head for the edge of the dense forest. Sheppard followed alongside.

"It's bad enough that I still haven't got you fully trained," McKay admitted, moving like a seventy-year-old, at best.

"That's funny, McKay," Sheppard said as he slowed to Rodney's pace, allowing Teyla and Ronan to clear them a path home.

"Yes, it is. You should take a lesson from this…understand that excessive repetition does not guarantee a laugh," Rodney advised.

"Is that right?" John asked, eyebrow raised in accusation.

"Hey, I had an excuse. I was on the good stuff."

"Don't remind me," John answered amiably.

"He obviously likes me better than he likes you," Rodney offered in explanation.

"Yeah, that's the reason, Rodney," John shot back with a snort.

"And exactly what are you suggesting?"

"I'm suggesting that Carson gives you the good stuff in order to ensure his sanity," John replied lightly.

Ronan and Teyla continued to cut a swath through the forest.

"Are they always like this?" the former Runner asked.

"It is better when they are like this," Teyla answered wisely, a smile on her face.

The End…

Note: As you might have guessed, Fred is very real. He's my newest adoptee from the shelter, and the most amazing little guy. I adore him, and I have no doubt that Rodney, John, Teyla and Ronan fell in love with him, too, when they encountered him here in my story. If you'd like to see a picture of Fred, which I highly recommend because he really is orange and white and really does have yellowish-orange eyes (and he is also a gymnast and flyer, both in the air and on the ground…and a little devil, but also the cuddliest little guy you could ever meet), drop me an email - I love showing Fred off!

Now, I wonder if Rodney would help me to clone him?