Hello! Yet again I'm bothering you with my randomness! Woohoo! This is not only the first time that I've posted a chapter but it's the first time that I've written a second chapter to a story! Yeah! Pandariffic! PSATs and school in general suck, so that's why these are taking so long. Again, I'm soooooo sorry.
Okie Shmokies, on to the real stuff.
DISCLAIMERNESS: I do no own Naruto because if I did I would make Gaara love Sasuke with the intensity of 10,000 burning suns. Yes I would do that, I'm that nice.
Much credits to Iscariot, Capty, Yukito, Bing, Jen-Jen, Jin (I miss you), and Slartibartfast! FJORDS!
...from the darkness a loud, resounding "thud" was heard in the silence of the Konoha winter. A limp, golden haired boy lay in the center of the room, bathed in dramatic backlighting; his mouth moved but no sound could be heard. Finally, after the perfectly calculated pause of 5.3 seconds, a hoarse whisper escaped his lips. "'Twas he that brought this fate upon me, 'twas he that robbed me of my most precious treasure more precious than my own life: my ramen ! 'Twas...'twas...t-" "'Twas Santa Claus, oh,that it was, it was it was that Santa Claus!" Kakashi interjected whilst doing a Dr.Seuss jig.
Naruto, devastated after his moment in the spotlight was snatched viciously away from him, jumped to his feet and shook an angry fist at Kakashi! "Like, totally not! I was like totally gonna say that it was The Ramenace! You're like so totally rude! I'm like gonna go back to like my trailer and like drink imported water!" Naruto stormed off to his little trailer with his name written on a piece of looseleaf taped to the door and yelled for someone to bring him Evian water. Still standing in the misty blue light, Kakashi rubbed his chin thoughtfully and wondered aloud "Who is this 'Ramenace'?".
A cloaked figure swooped past the open window laughing an evil, maniacal laugh and before Kakashi could respond (yeah, she was that good, that Ramenace) she swooped into Naruto's trailer, ravaged all of his ramen,took a moment to fully appreciate the firmness of one Kakashi's bottom, and perched on the nearest rooftop to inhale the sweet, salty scent."Just to let you know, I am the Ramenace and I assure you that by this time tomorrow the world will be mine. RaMeNrAmEn!" More dumbfounded than usual, Naruto hopped out of his slapdash trailer screaming bloody murder, most literally. The Ramenace laughed sickeningly towards the two cuties and the onlooking crowd of innocent and not so innocent bystanders. "i ThE hAmB-...rAmEnAcE sHaLl PiLlAgE aLl pEoPlE oF aLl tHeIr RaMeN! Ph33r m-!" The Ramenace was interrupted quite rudely when a large shiny, metallic object crashed and clanked down on top of her. "My my my, what an unfortunate place to land, yes this is!" it mused as it stared down at the now dumbfounded crowd.
Naruto nearly had a heart attack.
"Sasuke- kun, like my total secret crush and wanna-be lover! What are you doing here?" Naruto screeched like a newly castrated howler monkey. After recollecting the scattered/exploded pieces of his cranium, Sasuke lay back on the Ramenace in a more comfortable position and pondered that thought. Finally settling on an answer, he responded"Sasuke has been all over the place today, that he has. Sasuke does not like this feeling. Sasuke will tell Maria. MARIIIAAAAA!". Meanwhile on Sesame Street, a small furry red monster dropped his cigarette and hurled his coffee at the television. "THAT DAMNED BRAT TOOK MY LINE!"
Atop the building and beneath Sasuke's polished metal girth, the Ramenace decided that it would be easiest to pass out at this moment as her dialogue was no longer required in this chapter. Sasuke, however, was incurably effervescent about finally staying in one place for more than two minutes. Naruto decided this was the perfect time to profess his love to Sasuke so he took a deep breath and yelled "Sasuke I-". "Sasuke I love you!oneeleven!", Kakashi yelled from nowhere. Total shockness!"I LOVE YOU TOO, KAKASHI!", Sasuke beamed. So Sasuke fell off of the roof into Kakashi's arms and together they ran off to Cancun, along with Kirstie Alley dressed as the Hulk, to invest in shoes made out of Starbucks Coffee...and Naruto died...and the Ramenace joined a Sisterhood...That's it.