Author's note: Thanks again, everyone, for your kind support. Seriously, I did not imagine that this little crossover would go over very well.
Just one little minor thing I wanna mention about this chapter. Because it takes place in the past and there are two characters that go by the name of "Mr. Krabs," I'm afraid it may get a bit confusing. So, I tried to clarify it by calling one "Mr. Krabs" and one "Past Mr. Krabs." That's all. Happy reading.
Chapter 3-Lost Touch
Having totally dismissed the appearance of Squidward's ghost and his warning as a hallucination, Mr. Krabs silently proceeded getting ready to retire for the night. Once in bed he was asleep in no time, because the mattress that his former employee SpongeBob had bought for him was a lot more comfortable than the lumpy, money-filled one that was now locked safely away in his closet. Plus, he could rest easy that the new mattress was a gift, and therefore free.
Mr. Krabs snored away, sleeping like a baby, suspecting that the worst of his "hallucinations" were over. The clock beside his bed showed the time to be 12:59AM. Then, just as it struck 1AM, the room filled with a blinding bright light, and Mr. Krabs snapped awake to the sound of a familiar Western female voice.
"Yee-ha! Rise and shine, Mr. Krabs! We got yer whole history to see, and just a few hours to see it in!" the chipper voice exclaimed.
Mr. Krabs sat up in bed and narrowed his eyes at the speaker of those words. It looked very much like that squirrel, Sandy Cheeks, except it was clad in flowing blue robes and radiated with a brilliant blue haze. "Oh, let me guess. You're the first ghost that I was warned would be coming?" Mr. Krabs conjectured.
"Yup! They call me the Ghost of the Past. Right pleased to make yer acquaintance!" the visitor replied.
"The Ghost of the Past?" Mr. Krabs seemed confused. "But you look just like SpongeBob's little land friend, Sandy."
The ghost giggled. "That ain't no coincidence. You can call me Sandy if you like; we spirits can assume the forms of the living to come to Earth and help out fellers in need. And this form seemed just the one to assume while I'm here to help you, Mr. Krabs."
"In need?" Mr. Krabs repeated, then shook his head. "Sorry Spirit—er, Sandy. But you must have the wrong crab. I don't need your help."
"That's just what I thought you might say," Sandy replied. "But somewhere along the line you got so caught up in things like money and business that you just plain lost touch with yerself. My job is to figure out just where in yer past you took that turn!" She waved her hand, and swirling vortex appeared in the room.
Mr. Krabs, was hesitant to even get out of bed.
"Well, c'mon! Time's a wastin'!" Sandy insisted, grabbing the old crab by the hand and dragging him up. His gaze was still fixed on the vortex in the center of his room.
"What is this thing? Some kind of black hole?" he asked, sticking his hand in the vortex apprehensively.
"'Course not! It's a time portal; we're riding it to visit yer past." She waved her hand again, and a snowboarding shell materialized beside her. She hopped onto it, pulling Mr. Krabs on behind her.
"Whoa, wait Sandy! Are you sure that—" he started to protest.
"'Course I am! I done this bunches of times!" She put Mr. Krabs's hands on her shoulders. "Hang on tight, now! Here we go!" With that, the shellboard took off by itself into the time portal.
The inside of the vortex was a surreal tunnel, much like the one Plankton once went through in an attempt to trade lives with Mr. Krabs. Now Mr. Krabs and Sandy sped through on the shellboard at break-neck speed.
Sandy outstretched her arms like a bird, clearly enjoying the thrill. "WHEEE!"
At the same time, Mr. Krabs held onto her shoulders for dear life as his feet sailed out from under him. "WAAAH!"
The other end of the time portal appeared right outside Mr. Krabs's front door in the middle of a sunny day. Mr. Krabs and Sandy emerge, and Mr. Krabs stumbled off, clutching his heart and gasping for breath. "Ugh…I'm too old for this sort of thing." After he composed himself, it dawned on him where they were. "Hey, wait one seafaring minute! We're right outside my house! Why couldn't we have just used the front door?"
"This ain't yer house on just any old day, Mr. Krabs," Sandy replied as the shellboard and time portal disappeared. "We've gone back in time!" She held up a newspaper to verify that this was true. The headline was "THE WAR IS OVER!"
"The war is over." Mr. Krabs read. "Wow, that brings back memories."
"Good memories, I bet," Sandy speculated.
"Well, I guess good and bad. I'd just gotten out of the navy, but I just couldn't seem to adjust to civilian life."
"That musta been hard."
Just at that moment, a younger and very dejected-looking past version of Mr. Krabs walked down the street and approached the front door.
Mr. Krabs looked at himself in shock. "Why that's…that's me!"
The past Mr. Krabs went in the front door, followed by Sandy and Mr. Krabs. Past Mr. Krabs sat in a chair, looking so disheartened and isolated, and Sandy and Mr. Krabs continued to watch him.
"Aww, poor guy. You look so lonely," Sandy said.
Mr. Krabs looked straight at the past version of himself like a split-screen mirror image. "I remember this like it was yesterday. I was so depressed; I thought it would never end. For a while…I was seriously considering going back."
"To the navy?"
Mr. Krabs's eyes were deep with melancholy reminiscing. "I…had no one to turn to, and nowhere else to go."
"That's awful sad. But something was fixin' to happen that'd change all that, remember?" Sandy looked to the front door, and right at that instant there was a knock on it.
"Huh?" both Mr. Krabs responded at the same time. Past Mr. Krabs went to answer the door, while Sandy and Mr. Krabs looked out a nearby window.
Past Mr. Krabs opened the door. "Hello?" There was no one there…only a basket left on his doorstep. "What is the meaning of this?" A piece of paper stuck out of the side of the basket. Past Mr. Krabs took it and read it aloud.
"To Whom it May Concern: Please help this poor, innocent little orphan. Her family has been taken away, tragically, at the hands of harpooners. She has nowhere else to go, no one to turn to. Please, find it in your heart to do the right thing. Pearl's life is in your hands now."
"Pearl?" Past Mr. Krabs further inspected the basket to see that the orphan it housed was a baby whale. "Yelp! A whale!" He looked up at the sky. "Oh, why me? It's not like there aren't facilities for this kind of thing." He looked down at Pearl again. "Yeah, that's it; you and me, we're gonna take a little trip down to the orphanage. I bet they'll fetch a fine price for—" he trails off as he took a first good look at the slumbering baby. At that moment, his heart melted and he just couldn't bring himself to dump her in the orphanage. He picked her up…a notable task, considering relative sizes.
"Aww…you're all alone too, aren't you, Pearl? Well don't you worry; I'll take good care of you." He tickled her big nose, causing her to sneeze all over him.
Sandy giggled.
Mr. Krabs, watching the whole thing, started to smile with nostalgia. "Of course…the day I adopted Pearlie. Ah, it was a proud moment. And to think I almost gave her up."
Past Mr. Krabs took Pearl inside, his entire upper half dripping with whale snot. "I'll bet you're hungry, Cutie. Let's see if we can find you something to eat." He disappeared into another room with the baby.
"So you decided not to go back to the navy, but to stay and take care of that little girl because she needed you," assessed Sandy.
"That she did. And you know, not long after this I came into the possession of an old retirement home and renovated it into the Krusty Krab," Mr. Krabs reminisced. "If it wasn't for Pearl, I wouldn't have stayed and opened the finest eatery in town."
"Well, you always had an eye for a bargain, sure enough. But there was a time you knew some things were more important." Sandy materialized another vortex and shellboard. "But speaking of the Krusty Krab, I think it's high time we saw a day in yer life there!" She grabbed onto Mr. Krabs as they took off into the vortex…again.
"Oh, no," Mr. Krabs whimpered, followed by a scream for his life as they shot through the vortex.
The time portal reappeared, in the Krusty Krab, and once again Sandy and Mr. Krabs emerge from it.
"How 'bout this, Mr. Krabs? Is this ringin' a bell?" Sandy asked.
"Ergh, not really," Mr. Krabs answered, looking around. "Looks like any other day at work." He watched as another past version of himself ran to the cash register.
Past Mr. Krabs sniffed the register. "Forty-nine…oh…eight! That's a penny short!" he cried, then collapsed onto the register, sobbing.
Past Squidward walked by passively. Oh, no. Not a penny. Help, somebody help us."
Mr. Krabs looked somewhat surprised to see Squidward alive. "There's me late cashier, Squidward. I mean…when he was still alive. The poor barnacle."
"Yeah, but this is also the day you crossed paths with someone that almost made you forget all about the misfortune of a lost penny," said Sandy.
"Someone? You mean…?" he looked over to an adjacent table…and saw the past version of Mrs. Puff sitting there. His eyes lit up with fond memories. "Mrs. Puff…"
"This is the first time y'all met, right?"
"Aye, she was a gem in me eye." Mr. Krabs had a moony look on his face. "I asked her out right away."
Sandy laughed and pointed. "It looks like yer little guy, SpongeBob, is doin' all the askin' for ya!"
Past Mr. Krabs was now over at Past Mrs. Puff's table, sweaty and nervous and otherwise utterly freaking out. Past SpongeBob, fortunately, was able to interpret for him. "He wants to take you…on a date!"
"Heh, he always was the helpful one, that SpongeBob. Too bad I had to let him go," Mr. Krabs said to himself.
"…You have a way with words, Mr. Krabs!" Past Mrs. Puff chuckled at Past Mr. Krabs's display, and then walked away.
"I still got it!" Past Mr. Krabs bragged.
Mr. Krabs sighed. "Dear Mrs. Puff. Oh, we had some good times together."
All the people in the room suddenly vanished, leaving Mr. Krabs and Sandy in a vacant, darkened Krusty Krab.
"But they weren't all good, were they? Remember the very last time ya ever spoke to her?" Sandy reminded him.
Mr. Krabs looked away. "Well, I try not to." He looked back at Sandy, who was heading toward the office door. "Wait, you're not gonna show me that, are you? I don't think I can bear the memory."
Sandy opened the office door to reveal Past Mr. Krabs seated at his desk, shuffling dollar bills like cards and laughing to himself. "Maybe it'll help you remember what you forgot…" she stated simply.
The past version of Mrs. Puff came through the door that Sandy held open. "Mr. Krabs?" the former asked.
"Oh! Mrs. Puff!" Past Mr. Krabs thrust his wad of money under the table. "Eh, what a pleasant surprise! What brings you here, sultry queen of my heart?"
Mr. Krabs and Sandy entered to watch the conversation from the doorway.
"Um, well, it's after 7:00. Are we still going out to dinner?" Past Mrs. Puff asked.
"That was today?" Past Mr. Krabs asked. "I thought we were going out to dinner for our six-month anniversary."
"This is our anniversary," she reminded him.
"Oh." He fumbled for a moment. "Well…um…you've got to understand, Darling. Six-month anniversaries come twice a year. But business has been slow this month, and I've been busy trying to think of a way to keep the Krusty Krab from going under."
"That's what you said last month when we were supposed to go to that concert!" she cried.
"I'll make it up to you next month! Cross me heart!" he promised.
Past Mrs. Puff put her foot down. "No, Eugene. No, this time I don't think there will be a 'next month.'"
"What do you mean?" he asked.
Mr. Krabs stood beside Past Mrs. Puff, looking sad. "I mean we're finished!" she insisted. "I used to think you cared about me, but now I'm beginning to realize that the only thing you care about is the money in your wallet."
"Oh, don't be ridiculous." Past Mr. Krabs opened the safe behind his desk. "Having a wallet is like begging to be mugged! All my money is in this shrine in me safe." The inside of the safe did, indeed, house a shrine of money with candles, incense and picture frames.
"Well! I never!" Past Mrs. Puff turned to leave.
Mr. Krabs looked ashamed. "Ugh, did I really say that?"
"Good-bye, Mr. Krabs! Have a nice life, as I'm sure only you can!" Past Mrs. Puff closed door behind her.
"Heh. Oh, well. Now back to work." Past Mr. Krabs started lighting the candles and incense in the shrine.
Sandy moved over beside Mr. Krabs. "And that's how it ended. You tossed her aside like moldy frijoles, and y'all haven't spoken since."
Mr. Krabs looked on the verge of tears. "Oh, you're right, Sandy! It's true what everyone says: I'm just a miserly shell of a man. Now please…I just want to go home. I don't think I can take much more of these memories."
"Suit yourself." She materialized a time portal and her shellboard one last time, but this time she hopped on by herself. "Just bear in mind: when all is said and done, ya can't take nothing with ya but these memories." She rode the board into the vortex and disappeared.
Mr. Krabs watched her go, then looked back to his surroundings… which had become his bedroom.