"What the heart once owned and had,
it shall never lose."
-Henry Ward Beecher

"In love, goodbyes are never final, and doors that are shut never remain closed forever."
-Anonymous

Friday. Lunchtime.

"Haruka! Anya's here!"

"I'm coming!"

I raced down the stairs to meet her, though I wonder what made her come all the way to our house. Maybe she just wanted to say hi…or…maybe she missed me?

If only…

I sighed and fixed my white button-up shirt before facing her at the living room. She was sitting at the couch, with her head bowed down.

"Anya…what brings you?" I smiled. But my insides were doing flip-flops. After all these time, the awkwardness had never disappeared.

She looked up. And I could sense she felt the same. "Haru…ka…Um, I just wanted you to know that the suspension's been lifted. I talked to my dad about it…and told him that you would never beat up guys, unless they did something that offended you or a friend of yours…"

"Damn right!" I said a bit eagerly.

"And Samuel also said his piece. My dad lifted the suspension. He just wants you to do a few hours of community work instead."

"Anya!" I closed the gap between us and hugged her tight. "Thanks…" I could feel her hands touch my back, and bitter memories flooded my mind once again.

Learn to let go, Haruka…

And I let her go. But her hands stopped me from returning to my seat across her.

"Anya…?" I said nervously, as I noticed our close proximity. It was too close for comfort. Too close… "What are you--"

Then she kissed me. Out of the blue. Without saying anything. She kissed me on our living room, with my mom just a room away from us.

"Haruka…I miss you." She said as our lips parted. "Can't we just go back to what we once were?"

"I…I'm sorry Anya…"

Tears formed on her eyes. I suddenly had the urge to hug her again, but decided that it would just hurt her. Again. I always end up hurting her.

That's why we cannot be together.

"I should probably go now." Anya stood up, wiping her tears away. I squeezed her hands one last time before I escorted her towards the door.

"I just brought you the good news."

"You always do, Anya. You always tell me the things that make me smile." I regretfully said every word. Regret, for the fact that she would only be my best friend. And nothing more.

"Stop it, Haruka…I…I guess we need more time to accept it. I'll be leaving now…"

"Goodbye Anya. Take care."

"You too."

The door closed.

One. Two. Three.

After three seconds, I ran as fast as I could back to my room. There, in my own sanctuary, where I hold no inhibitions, I cried my heart out.

I cried because of our situation.
Of her mother having objections to our relationship, or what used to be it.
Of people who wanted to separate us, telling us that we shouldn't be together.

I cried because I still have feelings for her.
And she, the same, for me.

I cried because we couldn't fight for our love.

For a love that could never be…

Author's Notes:

Yay. Another chappie. Anyway...moving on...

Reference:

Henry Ward Beecher (1813 - 1887) was a theologically liberal American Congregationalist clergyman and reformer, and author who was born in Litchfield, Connecticut. One of his elder sisters was Harriet Beecher Stowe, author of Uncle Tom's Cabin.

Disclaimer:

Haruka, Michiru, and the rest of the BSSM gang belong to Naoko Takeuchi. I'm just borrowing them for a little while.
Mr. Beecher owns the first quote.