Chapter Four – The Weakness In Me
"Okay guys, here's the plan. Catherine, I want you at the door with me. Nick and Warrick, sneak around the back of the house, quietly. Find an entry point and find Sara or evidence of her being there. If he poses any threat, do what you have to. We have a warrant if anyone asks."
With a final nod at his team, Grissom left the vehicle, striding towards the house, Catherine at his side. They saw Nick and Warrick disappear behind some trees near the house, and confident that the men weren't seen, Grissom knocked on the door and stood back to wait for James to answer, the only thing stopping him from storming in the house was Catherine's hand on his elbow, reminding him she was there. Reminding him of what they had to do.
Nick followed silently behind Warrick, gun drawn and pointed to the ground, ready just in case. They managed to slip unseen to the back of the house, and while there, Nick paged Brass, telling him what was happening. They could hear faint voices at the front of the house, and confident that Catherine and Grissom were keeping James busy, Nick and Warrick set about trying to find the back door, which they found with relative ease after pushing back some untended bushes.
Nick opened the door silently, and swiftly moved into the small malodorous house and then froze. The house was so small that the back door was actually incredibly close to the front one, and Nick and Warrick had a clear view of Catherine, Grissom and James's back.
Putting his confidence in his workmates, hoping they could keep James busy enough for him and Warrick to slip into the room that he had spotted down a short hallway, he took a deep breath and slowly he moved towards the door, aware of Warrick's presence at his side. He turned the doorknob silently and quickly they both slipped into the dark room.
Nick pulled out his torch, examining his surroundings. The first thing he spotted was blood on the floor, and when he followed the trail the air left his body when he saw what they needed to convict James.
Sara sat propped against the far wall, her arms shackled high, her head fallen forward.
"Warrick, find a light switch, and then tell Grissom and Catherine that we found her."
Nick saw Warrick's torch search the walls and seconds later a bright light flooded the room, allowing Nick to see Sara more clearly. Her nightdress was blood-soaked on the left side, her pulse weak, her breathing visibly shallow and her face terribly bruised and cut. He heard the commotion out in the main room and it wasn't long before Grissom was at Sara's side.
"She needs an ambulance. I'll call for one. You stay here."
Grissom moved closer to Sara, and aided with some metal cutters that Warrick came in with, he managed to get her arms down, which caused a semi-conscious Sara to emit a slight moan. Grissom took off his coat and covered her pale body with it, and brought her closer to him trying to warm up her cold body while he waited for help to come.
Grissom carried Sara to the ambulance as soon as he heard it park outside of the shack's door, and laid her gently on a stretcher.
"Are you coming with us to the hospital?" one of the medics asked Grissom. "We need to go now."
Sara looked so small against the whiteness of the sheets, her blood making a red stain. Catherine, who was watching him load Sara into the ambulance, nodded to Grissom, not minding having to be in charge again.
"Okay."
Grissom sat on the stretcher opposite Sara, well out of the way of the medical staff working on her arm. They arrived at the hospital in only a few minutes, and rushed Sara inside. Grissom sat quietly in a plastic hospital chair, as he waited to hear from the doctor who was treating Sara.
"Mr Grissom? I'm Doctor Dorian. I'm treating Miss Sidle. Now unfortunately, she needed to be taken directly to surgery. I need you to sign some paperwork. You're her next of kin. It gives us permission to perform surgery on her. Now, before you say anything, let me tell you there is no other option. We need to get the bullet out, fix the shattered bone, and stop the bleeding."
Grissom nodded and shakily took the clipboard from the doctor, signing quickly. The doctor smiled kindly at Grissom, reading his worried look.
"Do not worry, sir. She is a strong, healthy young woman. This should be a safe procedure. I will call you as soon as we are done."
Grissom nodded and watched as the doctor left, preparing himself for a long wait.
Three hours later, the rest of the team sat with him in a silent vigil, their shift having ended just over an hour ago. They had processed the house and found the suspect's drugs as well as a vast supply of illegal firearms and placed the man under arrest.
They now all sat in the plastic hospital chairs, exhausted and glad that Sara was finally safe. An hour later, Dr Dorian came out a pleased look on his face. "It went fine, no complications at all. She's in recovery now. I'll send a nurse as soon as she is ready to receive guests." Dr Dorian left with a wide smile and Warrick jumped up.
"The gift shop is open, I'm going to go and get her some flowers."
Catherine grinned as Nick stood to follow.
"I'll go with, make sure he doesn't get roses."
Catherine yawned widely, running her fingers through her hair. "How're you holding up?" she asked Grissom.
Grissom smiled tiredly at her.
"Better then I was when Sara was gone."
Catherine looked at him.
"Are you going to tell her?"
Grissom looked at the tile floor in front of him, wondering how they got the floor so clean. He looked back at Catherine and shrugged.
"I have no idea. I guess the truth is always a winner in these kinds of situations."
Catherine's toned softened as she placed a hand on his forearm.
"You know when I told you that you were human and that you cannot step away from a case that involved Sara?"
Grissom nodded, his head still pointing at the floor.
"We both know that it's not a regular situation you have with her. If it was any one of us in that situation that Sara is in, we know you would work hard to find us. But this was more personal. There is something there between the two of you. I'm not sure what it is, but you need to tell her. Promise me you will tell her the truth."
Grissom turned and smiled at the women next to him, his friend for many years, his rock.
"I promise. Mother."
He ducked his head as Catherine swung an arm at him, a laugh escaping her lips for the first time in weeks.
"You okay for now? I have to get home to Lindsey, but tell Sara I'll be in later, okay?"
Grissom nodded and watched as Catherine walked off, his heart almost leaping out of his chest in fright when a nurse came and tapped him on the shoulder.
"Miss Sidle is ready for visitors now. She asked for a…" The nurse looked at her clipboard and then smiled at Grissom, "…Mr Gil Grissom."
Grissom nodded, stood, and followed the nurse down the hospital corridors, getting lost the moment the doors started whizzing around them. She stopped after a short while and pushed the door open, ushering him inside the room.
"You've got ten minutes, Mr Grissom. She needs her rest."
Grissom nodded and waited until the nurse had left before proceeding deeper into the room. It was a single room with one bed in the middle. Sara looked so painfully small lying in the centre of the bed, bright white sheets covering her lower torso. Her feet were poking out of the end of the bed, covered in clear gauze. An IV hung from her left arm, re-hydrating her, Grissom guessed. Her right arm was bandaged thickly, a semi cast covering the upper part. Her wrists were also dressed in thick white bandages. Her face was still horribly bruised, the cuts now cleaned and with sterile stripes on them.
"Are you going to come closer, or am I going to have to come to you?" Sara raspy voice jolted him from his reverie, and he smiled and moved closer to her bed, bringing a seat from across the room.
"How are you feeling?" Grissom's own voice sounded odd to him, bouncing off the small room's walls.
"Great. The drugs are awesome here. I can't feel any of my hurts. Definitely a good thing."
A very small weak smile formed on Sara's lips and she closed her eyes for a second then opened them again.
"Where is everyone?"
Grissom shrugged. "They went to go and get you something I think. Maybe they got lost. Catherine will be coming in later."
Sara smiled again and then motioned to the table beside her.
"Can you give me a drink?"
Grissom nodded and grabbed the cup, then brought the straw to Sara's dry lips and waited as she took a long drink. When she was done he put the cup back on the table then drew in a deep breath. He had to do it. He had to listen to Catherine and do something. Now, before it was too late, and before he lost his nerve. Before he could open his mouth, Sara spoke first.
"I learned something in my weeks of fun and adventure."
Grissom raised an eyebrow and tilted his head slightly. "And what would that be?"
"Not to wait for things to happen when I know that they won't."
"What do you mean?"
Sara shrugged her shoulders as much as her injured arm would allow - which wasn't much - raising her eyebrow.
"Us, for one."
Grissom swallowed hard and managed to spit out, "What about us?"
Sara rolled her eyes and half smiled at Grissom. "You're kidding right? Where have you been for the last few years? The thing we have. I have no idea what it is, but it is a thing. And I am sick of not taking the bull by the horns. So no more waiting around. A whole new Sara starting now."
Grissom nodded tightly, his heart sinking along with any hopes and courage he had left.
"Are you alright Grissom? You look pale."
The question was left hanging in the air as Warrick and Nick came traipsing in, carrying helium balloons, stuffed toys, flowers and chocolates.
"We got a little carried away," Nick said, by way of explanation.
He gave a big grin as he and Warrick started decorating the room - putting the flowers here and there, and allowing the balloons to float to the ceiling, making Sara feel like she was under a giant colourful cloud. They put the chocolates on the table with the stuffed toys, one of which was a plush white rabbit with a love heart attached to its paws that said 'Get Well Soon'. They gave Sara gentle hugs and settled themselves at the end of her bed, being careful of her feet.
"So what happened after I left with Sara?" Grissom asked in regards to Zachary James.
Nick glanced at Warrick then looked back at Grissom.
"He resisted arrest. We had to subdue him."
Grissom nodded, but didn't ask any more questions, instead turning back to Sara.
"The police will properly be in shortly to get your statement. We had better leave you to get some rest."
Sara nodded and gave both Nick and Warrick hugs before they left, frowning when Grissom left after a brief silent pause and a short nod. That is not quite the reaction I wanted.
Sara felt hollow for the first time in a while. She had gotten out of the hospital finally, but even that brought limited happiness. She felt paranoid and insecure after what happened with the kidnapping and very hurt that Grissom had said nothing when she had made her announcement the other day. He had just stood there saying nothing, while all she had wanted him to do was take her in his arms and kiss the happiness back into her, or to tell her that what she had decided made perfect sense. Anything was better then the silence he had awarded her with.
So she did the only thing that seemed logical to her in her situation - she went to the local bar where she hadn't been for a while and bought a beer and a packet of cigarettes. She sat for a while mulling over how things had been for the last couple of months, about not drinking and being sober. She continued to stare at the cold brew that sat untouched before her, the sweat from the bottle making a little pool on the bar coaster that it sat on. The smokes beside them lay unopened, keeping the beer cheerful company.
"Staring at them is not going to make them go away."
Sara was concentrating so hard on the objects before her that she didn't realize that someone had sat in the chair beside her, and when she saw who is was she felt superbly guilty.
"How are you going, Sara?" Warrick focused Sara with an intense gaze, locking her eyes with his own.
Sara looked down quickly, feeling ashamed for what she was doing and where she was. "Just great. Wonderful. Fantastic. Thanks for asking."
Warrick got the bartender's attention and ordered two orange juices, asking the bartender to take away the beer before Sara, replacing it with the orange juice.
"So why are you here?"
Sara shrugged, allowing herself to open the packet of smokes, placing one between her lips and lighting it, for some reason feeling a need for rebellion against Warrick. She inhaled deeply, exhaling it into a little circle above Warrick's head.
"I have no idea. Why are you here?"
Warrick shrugged, removing a smoke and lighting it, exhaling out the side of his mouth. "Went for a walk - ended up here."
"I didn't know you smoked."
Warrick gave a small shrug, before taking a sip of his orange juice.
"I quit quite a while ago for a girlfriend who said I stunk. What about you? You didn't smoke when you came here."
Sara took a small sip of her orange juice, allowing the bitter sweetness to cool her burning throat.
"Quit for health reasons really. My aunt died of cancer after smoking a pack a day for 30 years. It gave me a fright."
Warrick nodded and they sat in silence for a little longer before Warrick spoke again.
"So what really brings you here? You seemed fine at the hospital."
Sara took a deep inhalation of her smoke before answering, watching the smoke swirl and then disappear.
"Have you ever been in love with someone who is totally blind to your existence? And so to see what they would say, you pretended not to be interested?"
Warrick snorted through his nose, bestowing Sara with a knowing grin.
"Girlfriend, you are talking to the king of unrequited love. Why, who is the guy?"
Sara shrugged.
"Just a guy I have known for a few years. He is so blind to me that I want to hit him to see how he reacts."
Warrick nodded, staring not at Sara but at the bottles at the back of the bar top.
"Grissom is a bit oblivious. It's not his fault, it is just him."
Sara's put out the butt of her smoke, taping her now empty hands on the bar impatiently.
"So you knew then, huh?"
Warrick smiled at Sara, his white teeth clashing with his creamy dark skin. "If you guys were the CIA, I would be worried for the welfare of the country that is for sure."
"Who else knows?"
Warrick shrugged, taking a small sip of his orange juice. "Everyone. It's like an unspoken thing, I guess. I think Greg is the only one who is oblivious, simply because he has a crush on you."
Sara allowed a small smile to come to her face, playing with the straw that speared the centre of her drink.
"Greg has a crush on anything with a set of boobs and a pulse. So if everybody knows, then why doesn't Grissom?"
Warrick shrugged and turned his body towards her more. "Why did you say? What did he say?"
"I told him that I was sick of waiting for things to happen between us. I had expected him to jump in and say something but he just walked off."
"Well that's it then. Grissom would never push, especially after what you have been through recently. He was giving you what he thought you needed - space."
Sara shook her head aggressively.
"I don't want or need space. I need him."
"You are telling the wrong man. You need to tell that to Grissom."
"And how seriously do you think he would take me?"
Warrick shrugged again, playing with the napkin that was under his drink.
"I suppose it depends on how you approach him. You should just ring him up and invite him out to dinner. That should do it. I know that it's going to be hard for you both. Showing someone how you feel means that you have to be willing to expose your vulnerability. Something you are both not familiar with."
Sara nodded and the silence lapsed between them again. She had to do something to get Grissom back, to make him realize how she felt. She had to tell him.
Later that night, after Warrick had taken her out for some dinner and dropped her off at home, Sara sat down and wrote Grissom a short note.
Grissom,
I need to talk to you about something. Do you think that we could meet up on your day off on Saturday? I know this great Italian restaurant called Altissimo Italiano, near my home. Meet me there at 8:00pm. Call me if you cannot make if for any reason.
Sara
She folded it, put it into an envelope, and left it on her beside table next to the glass of water she kept there, rolled over and went to sleep. Grissom's reaction to her announcement in the hospital was playing over and over in her mind.
It was about 4:30am when she awoke in a cold sweat, finding the bedclothes wrapped around her legs in tight bindings. She sat forward trying to catch her breath when she heard a noise in the kitchen. It was the kind of noise that before the kidnapping she would have ignored, but paranoia set in again, her heart pounding hard in her chest, she reached for her gun and slipped silently out of her bed and headed carefully for the kitchen turning on all of the lights as she went.
She was shaking as she did the full house search that was becoming frighteningly familiar, sighing slightly as the source of the noise was found in one of her plants making a scrapping noise as a window she had forgotten to close let the wind in ruffling it slightly. Sara sat heavily at the kitchen table, the nightmare that woke her coming back in intense waves. She smelt him, felt him beside her and all she could see was the darkness that had surrounded her those three weeks. Sara needed something to calm her to put her to sleep again. It took a second for her to decide what to do, and as she dialled she made herself more comfortable in bed.
"Grissom" came the short answer.
His voice, even with that one word made her feel so much better. Safer.
"Grissom, its Sara. I'm not disturbing you, am I?"
"No, of course not. How can I help you? Are you okay?"
Sara could hear him shift slightly, a small crackle travelling up the phone.
"Not really. I had another nightmare, and then I did one of those full house sweeps that I have gotten into a habit of. That is not a good thing to get into. I just needed to talk to someone. Do you have time?"
"Of course. Everybody left early - there was nothing to do. Do you want me to come over, Sara?"
Silence fell as Sara decided what to say. Her fear over came any kind of rational thinking that should have occurred.
"Could you? I mean, I know that it's late…"
"It's no trouble. Really it's not. I'll be there soon. Just make sure there's coffee."
Sara allowed herself a small smile as she got up and headed to the kitchen, putting a fresh pot of coffee on.
"Thanks Grissom."
"See you soon."
Twenty minutes later there was a knock on the door, and Sara jumped a little, even though she was expecting it. Her hand shook as she looked through the peephole, and she relaxed when she saw Grissom. She released the three locks on her door, and Grissom slipped in quietly and waited patiently as she relocked the door.
"I feel kind of dumb for asking you here, Grissom. I don't know what I was thinking."
Grissom had moved into the kitchen and was busy pouring a coffee for Sara and himself.
"Have you eaten?"
Sara shook her head, and cringed slightly as he opened her fridge. She hadn't done any kind of shopping and had been living on takeaways and microwave meals. A few eggs, some milk and a small lump of cheese were the only things that sat in her hollow fridge.
"You need to eat healthily, Sara. Your body went through a hell of an ordeal. I'm going to make you some eggs. Omelette ok?"
Sara nodded and watched Grissom move around the kitchen, absorbed in his task.
"So you were home when I called?"
Grissom nodded his head slightly as he added some cheese to the eggs.
"Yep. Just doing paperwork, so you really saved me from a very boring morning. Are you cold?"
Sara had started shivering, goose pimples rising on her skin.
"Yeah just a little. I'll go and get a blanket."
Grissom held up a hand.
"I will. Where is it?"
Sara directed him to her room, forgetting for a moment about the letter on her bedside table that had 'Grissom' written on it in bold letters. He came out a few seconds later with a rug, a jumper and the letter in his hand.
"What's this?"
Sara took her time answering as she put on the jumper, and then throwing the blanket over her legs which were mostly bare thanks to her boxers.
"It's for you. Just take it home. I wanted to meet for dinner one night. That's all."
Grissom glanced at her through narrowed eyes before he turned back to the eggs on the stove. He produced two plates, and halving the omelette, placed one half of the omelette in front of her, with a salt and pepper canister.
"Eat."
Sara nodded, watching as Grissom slipped her letter into his back pocket, where she would never be able to get it back. They ate in silence, the clanking of cutlery the only sound. Despite the silence and his slightly chilly demeanour, Grissom's presence gave her a definite sense of calm. She felt much better after having something to eat, and her eyes felt heavy. Before she could stop it, a big yawn escaped her.
"Off to bed. I have the perfect cure for nightmares."
Sara moved into her room, surprised when Grissom followed her bringing in a backpack that she never noticed when he had first came in, and settled himself on the bed. For a split second, before her rational mind came charging in, Sara thought he was implying sex as a cure to her nightmares. Not that she would have complained, but he could at least take her to dinner first. She stood there for a second too long and Grissom took it as distinct hesitation.
"Sara, get into bed."
Sara did as she was told, snuggling deep under the covers, getting herself comfortable before facing Grissom. She watched as he pulled out one of his huge, thick, bug books, opened it, and proceeded to read. Sara closed her eyes and let Grissom's smooth even voice lull her into sleep, dung beetles rolling around in her head.
Sara awoke to faint snoring. A second of panic ripped through her before she remembered Grissom and his solution to nightmares. She rolled over as neatly and as carefully as she could, to face Grissom. He lay with his hands over his book, which had fallen open on his lap. He had kicked off his shoes at one point during the night, and Sara noticed a small hole in the sock on the right foot, where his little toe could be seen, the soft skin and short nail shining slightly, almost like he had polish on it. His hair was mussed, and his mouth was hanging open slightly, a small snuffle coming out every now and then. His smell hung in the air, a manly scent of soap and some spice that Sara could not put her finger on.
It made her feel safe, and secure. She could not believe that, even for a second, she had thought Grissom would suggest sex. She could have kicked herself. Even though he never heard her thought, she could just imagine what he had been thinking. Sara slipped quietly from beneath the blankets, throwing the rug she had left on the floor over Grissom, and quietly closed the door behind her. Sara went into the kitchen and proceeded to clean up after this morning's early breakfast, and putting more coffee on the machine. She was just contemplating a shower when Grissom walked into the dining room, his clothes wrinkled and smelling like sleep.
"Sorry - I didn't mean to fall asleep. I was more tired than I thought I guess."
Sara shook her head and handed Grissom a mug of coffee.
"That's okay. Really, it is. I need to go and have a shower and then I'll get you some towels and you can have one too. Oh, and before I forget, I wanted to apologize."
Grissom sat at the dining room table cleaning his glasses and looking at her with interest.
"Oh really? What for? I mean, aside from appearing at the door half naked?" He smiled at her as she blushed and looked down at herself, quite forgetting that all she wore was a pair of boxer shorts and a silk top with thin straps, one that covered just the bare necessities that came from a set that she had gotten from Hank.
"Sorry, I really should go and get changed." She turned to leave and Grissom grabbed her wrist.
"I was kidding Sara, relax. This is your home so you can dress how you please. Now, what is it you wanted to apologize for?"
Sara turned back to face Grissom, crossing her arms across her chest.
"For saying those things to you before I was taken. I should never have let my temper get the better of me like that. I was just hurt that you and Warrick doubted me. So, I'm sorry."
Grissom nodded and then stood in front of Sara, putting his hands on her bare shoulders.
"That's okay. You're right, I never should have doubted you. We were worried, and you displayed the same symptoms you had while you were drinking. So now that we are even, you go and have a shower and get dressed before you catch a cold."
He turned her and gave her a slight push in the general direction of the bathroom, turning himself to the task of finishing the cleaning in the kitchen.
Sara enjoyed a long hot shower for the first time in weeks, her previous ones being as short as possible because she was constantly worried about someone coming into her home and attacking her. She pulled on a pair of her oldest jeans - the ones with sunflowers on the back pockets - a red shirt that had a print of the Mona Lisa on it and a pair of fresh white socks. She had managed to find an electric razor that Hank had never gotten back, a fresh cake of soap, and some nice neat towels, which she laid on the sink by the shower. Then after combing her hair, she moved back into the kitchen, sitting on the sofa, next to Grissom who was looking over her book collection.
"Jane Eyre, Tom Sawyer, Oliver Twist and Sherlock Holmes. You like the classics, do you?"
Sara nodded, brushing her fingers softly against the spine of the collector's edition of Jane Eyre.
"Yeah, I do. I mean, there are no mass murders, no obscene sex bits, and a story that makes you feel good. Have you ever read Jane Eyre?"
Grissom shook his head, opening the book and skimming through it quickly.
"No, never really got around to it. I was always more into factual books. What other ones do you have?"
Sara moved aside her dictionary, and pulled out three other books, handing them to Grissom.
"Ah," he responded. "Frankenstein, Jekyll and Hyde, and A Tale of Two Cities. Wow, I am impressed. I also see that you have almost the entire Charles Dickens selection - are they reprints?"
Sara nodded.
"Yeah, unfortunately, but they do have the original pictures. I don't have the kind of money needed to track down all the originals. They can go up into the thousands. I am more than happy with my reprints. You need to read Jane Eyre. You really do. It's not really a chick book, it's written brilliantly and it has mystery, death and romance."
Grissom nodded, putting the book carefully into the bag that was on the floor in front of him.
"I will take good care of it, I promise."
Sara moved back to sit next to Grissom, and had just gotten comfortable when he asked a question that caught her off guard.
"When you were taken, did he do anything to you? I mean… inappropriate?"
Sara twisted a strand of damp hair around her finger without thinking, a sudden shiver making her teeth chatter a little. When she finally spoke, it was in a quite, subdued voice that contrasted starkly with the way she was talking just a few seconds ago.
"Catherine told me that he kidnapped and raped his ex-wife 18 months ago. The truth is Grissom, I don't know. He knocked me out once to move me from my home and then again to change houses. If he did anything it wasn't while I was awake, which I am grateful for."
"So you didn't do a swab test or anything?"
Sara shook her head.
"Did an AIDS test and all the others, but not that one. I don't want to know, Grissom. I would rather live with the idea that he didn't touch me in that way. I've seen what that kind of trauma can do to someone emotionally, physically, and mentally. A friend of mine was raped while I was at University, and she was one of the strongest people I have ever met. And you know what's happened to her, Grissom? She has turned into herself. She has no recollection of the year that it happened, as if her brain wiped if from her memory. I have enough issues without that one sitting on my chest."
Sara's voice, while still quiet, took on a determined tone and she stared hard at Grissom.
"I'm alright, really I am. I went out with Warrick last night. Well actually the more precise thing is that he found me at a bar."
Grissom raised his eyebrows at Sara, but remained silent, letting her finish.
"I didn't drink anything harder then OJ. I just needed to get out, and I was confused about some things. We went out to dinner and I got the solution I craved, which was great."
"So what was the problem?"
Sara shrugged.
"Nothing important. You had better go and have a shower before it gets too late. Do you want me to iron your shirt?"
Grissom looked down and pulled his shirt away from him slightly, examining it.
"Well if we are going to go out in the living, I had better look presentable. Thanks."
He stood and headed for the bathroom, going inside and a second later holding out his shirt through the barely open door. Sara smiled a little. She would never have thought of Grissom being modest. Conservative maybe, but not modest. Sara happily accepted the shirt and proceeded to iron it, giving Grissom clean lines with no wrinkles.
"Are you done with it yet? It's getting kind of cold in there."
Grissom stood topless near the entrance to the living room, a cloud of steam giving him a mystic kind of appearance. Sara could never picture Grissom as being buff or overly muscular and in this case she was right. He had slightly muscular arms, a firm but not washboard stomach, and a not overly smooth chest.
"Yeah. All done."
Sara handed Grissom his shirt and watched as the smooth flesh disappeared behind the curtain of cotton.
"I read your letter. Can't you just ask me the question?"
Sara continued to put the ironing board away before turning to Grissom.
"I didn't want you to feel pressured. If I asked you here and now, you would feel the need to say yes. I want you to be able to think about it."
Grissom shook his head.
"I don't need to think. Ask me."
Sara looked at Grissom for a moment trying to gather her thoughts. She didn't like being in this situation where she had to expose what shouldn't be in the open for the whole world to see. For a split second she was tempted to just tell him to not worry about any of it and that he could go home and she was fine. She didn't do this because she didn't think she had the energy to maintain such a lie. She needed him to be with her and if he couldn't then she needed to hear it to move on properly with her life. Or what was left of it anyway.
"I lied to you, Grissom. I was so terrified that if I told you the truth that I would lose you."
Grissom remained silent, watching and studying her, which made her nervous.
"I still like you, Grissom, a lot. I did get time to think when I was taken and I thought about you most of the time. About the time I've wasted waiting for you instead of doing something about it. So here it is, Grissom. I want to be with you, do you want to be with me? No more games or lies. Just the truth."
Sara stood in front of him now, her confidence returning. If he said no, she was ready. She just wasn't sure what she would do if he said yes. Worse still, what she would do if there was no answer at all.
Grissom ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it from its once semi-tidy placement, his face unreadable. Sara let the silence run for a few more moments before she plastered a small fake smile on her face, one for a fact she knew that didn't come anywhere near her eyes.
"We had better go and do that shopping then," she said, breaking the silence. "Do you mind if we go in my truck? I have shopping bags in there ready to go."
Sara grabbed her keys, wallet and cell phone, leaving Grissom to lock the door behind him, not wanting him to see the tears that had already started, due to his silence.
Song: The Weakness In Me – Joan Armatrading