SSBM GAME SHOWS!
Part 1! WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIETTE!
Disclaimer: I own nothing! Its all James Bond! GO KILL HIM INSTEAD!
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REEL BIG FISH!
Oh I like this one… not to mention I'm sick of the Advertisement fic… but don't worry I will still update it for you weirdoes… maybe… depending on what happened from the point of me writing this to the point of me submitting this.
"WELCOME!" Master Hand yelled as lasers and crap flew everywhere in a flashy intro… then one of the lasers got Popo in the eye killing him instantly. Nana looked at her dead partner and disappeared in a cloud of smoke causing Roy to start wheezing and fall over and puke out blood.
"WELL NOW THAT 2 OF OUR CONTESTANTS ARE GONE! LETS SEE WHO THE OTHER 6 ARE!"
Kirby stood up but no one seemed to notice due to how short he is.
Then Sheik stood up and waved to everyone…
"HES A GUY!" one moron pointed out.
"YEA MAYBE HES ZELDA'S BROTHER!" another moron yelled but then they were silenced by Sheiks needles.
Peach stood up and forgot what she was supposed to do next and just sat there staring blankly. Suddenly she was shocked and forced to sit down.
C. Falcon stood up and tried to do a back flip but failed and cracked his head against the computer he was next to and fell over in a bloody mess.
"MAKE THAT 5 CONTESTANTS!"
DK stood up and beat his chest.
Yoshi stood up and waved to all the screaming fans… who then stopped screaming because the nails shoved up their asses were taken out.
"NOW LETS PLAY WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIETTE! The goal is to get to milliette… after a sequence of questions… a milliette is someone with 999,999 duplicates of themselves…"
"Kirby and Yoshi looked up"
"BUT WE ALREADY HAVE DUPLICATES OF US!" they cried together due to much practice off stage.
"YES BUT NOW YOU WILL HAVE MORE!" Master Hand yelled and started the show.
"FIRST UP IS THE FAST FINGERS MODE! WHOEVER GUESSES THEM ALL FIRST WINS!" Suddenly Master Hands voice got more serious. "Name the gaming systems in the order in which they were released! A… Atari, B… SNES, C… N64, D… GCN!"
Kirby tried to eat the computer and fell over after turning black and started to twitch.
Sheik pressed the buttons so fast her hand melted she started screaming.
"HEY WHY DOES HE HAVE A GIRLS VOICE!" a moron yelled.
Peach just sat there staring blankly as Toad came out of her pocket and pressed the correct answers.
DK tried to press the buttons but his fingers were too big and he pressed them all at once.
Yoshi tried to eat the computer but his tongue got stuck to it and was ripped off… blood spewed out and his fans all cheered… then screamed as the nails were reinserted.
"LETS SEE THE RESULTS!" a large screen popped up and showed the contestants.
"OH KIRBY AND YOSHI ARE DISQUALIFIED DUE TO DEATH!… PEACH CHEATED!"
Peaches chair gave way and she fell to her black doom… then the teen girl squad walked up.
"WHEN YOU FALL IN A BOTTEMLESS PIT! YOU STARVE TO DEATH!" So and so said. Then they were all pushed in by Master Hand.
"DK DID IT THE FASTEST!" Master Hand yelled, "HE DID IT IN 0.253 SECONDS COMPARED TO SHEIKS 0.294 SECONDS!"
DK looked confused and walked up to the center… Sheik started crying.
"OK DK! ARE YOU READY TO GO FOR THE 100 ette QUESTION!" Master hand yelled.
"UM… OK!"
Master Hand suddenly turned serious "in the game 'DONKEY KONG' what was the name of the villain?… and what was he?"
DK started scratching his head… then looked around…
"UM… MARIO? AND HE WAS ITALIAN!"
"OH SO SORRY DK! IT WAS MARIO! BUT HE WAS… A PLUMBER!"
DK just looked at Master Hand sadly.
"THEY'RE THE SAME THING! THEY BOTH DO STRANGE THINGS WITH SOAP!"
"OH SO SORRY! BYE!" and with this Master Hand slapped DK off stage as DK flew off he was caught by Crazy Hand and eaten.
"YOU DON'T EAT THEM CRAZY! YOU LET THEM GO!"
"But I was hungry…"
"OH FINE! BUT NO MORE!"
"OK NOW FOR ANOTHER FAST FINGERS ROUND!"
Everyone sat there for a few seconds and then Sheik just walked up to the center.
"OK SHEIK! ARE YOU READY FOR THE 100 ette QUESTION!"
Sheik looked around at all the morons… and screaming fans… then nodded.
"IN THE LEGEND OF ZELDA! A LINK TO THE PAST! WHO IS THE PRINCESS YOU ARE TRYING TO RESCUE!"
"Zelda" Sheik stated… "and aren't you supposed to give us 4 different answers… and lifelines… and all that fun stuff"
"OH I WISH! BUT WE MESSED UP AND SO THE 100 ette QUESTION DIDN'T GET THOSE! DO YOU WANT TO HEAR YOUR LIFELINES!"
"No no I know"
"YAY!" all the morons yelled. "YOU TELL HIM YOU ODDLY FLEXIBLE MAN!"
"QUESTION 200 ette! WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE GAME WHERE DONKEY KONG IS CAPTURED AND DIDDY AND DIXIE GO ON A QUEST TO SAVE HIM! IS IT! A… Donkey Kong 2, B… Diptydooda, C… Kirby superstar, D… SSBM!"
"Donkey Kong 2" Sheik said and millions of morons looked in shock not knowing what that could have been.
"YAY! WILL YOU QUIT OR GO ON!" Master Hand yelled.
"I'll go on"
"QUESTION 500 ette! WHAT IS THE STAGE ON SSBM WHICH HAS KRAID SPINNING THE LEVEL AROUND IN CIRCLES! IS IT! A… that one with the weird dude in the background that spins, B… Brinstar Depths, C… the cool one, D… Flat zone!"
"Umm can I use a lifeline?" Sheik asked.
"OF COURSE! DO YOU WANT… think long… read a book that has nothing to do with the subject… or phone the dead?"
"What? What kind of lifelines are those!" Sheik screamed.
"OUR LIFELINES!"
"I'll phone the dead…" Sheik said and a phone ringing started… and it rang… and its ringing… we get tired…
"I'M SORRY BUT NO ONES ON THE OTHER LINE! YOU LOSE THE LIFELINE!"
Sheik sits there… then decides to guess.
"Umm… Brinstar Depths?" Sheik said confused.
"WRONG! IT WAS… THAT ONE WITH THE WEIRD DUDE IN THE BACKGROUND THAT SPINS!"
Sheik was launched off but Crazy Hand missed her and she splattered into the wall.
"NO! NOW WHO WILL ZELDA TELL ALL HER SECRETS TO!" a moron yelled but then as Master Hand had no more need of a crowd he killed them all.
"TUNE IN NEXT TIME AND WE MIGHT DO SOMETHING YOU CARE ABOUT!" Master Hand yelled and the screen fades away.
YAY!
I know its been done TONS of times before… but the beauty is that I have never read one as purely random as this one… WOOT!
I have a nice list of game shows to parody so no need to worry… or you could worry… see what I care…
Suggestions are always nice although I wont do them right away due to the list method I do things in…
OH BOY!
What!
I KILLED NEMO!
What?
NOTHING!
Ok whatever…
R&SSR Read and Say Something Retarded…