SSBM GAME SHOWS!
Part 5! Who's Cousin Is It Anyway!… Seriously I need to know this information!
Disclaimer: I don't own it… when they read the lines at the end do you really SEE Joeb… NO! and you see nothing anywhere near… you might see a Joseph or two but I haven't so there!
Reviews: blah hmm… The Used… the pwn pretty good… at least the first CD does… the hidden track number 12... Listen to that one… its as random as I am!
Lets see… why do I care… oh well…
SOME ANIME FREAK: You're trusty? Hmm oh well lets pretend that's true!
Eternal Smasher: I confused myself a lot… well anyway lets see… Crazy Hand can get laid but if I described how, I would have to make this M rated…
Tikitikidude: Blah lets see… you didn't say mean things to me! Have you ever! Well you were the first and practically only review for UBER FIGHT so I guess you made me cry… so you get a black star… WHAT! Blacks cooler anyway
DPL: what! How dare you! Wait what did you do… BLAH! Hmm I guess I will… dang I forgot what I was saying… grr… look just never do it again…
That other dude with the bunnies: good cause if it was the band I would just HAVE to ask you what band is named Random and then I would get shot for my insolence… I think…
GOLD STARS:
You all start with 5...
Anime freak gains 1 cause she named herself anime freak and yet I like her… destroying half of my life because of this…
Smasher dude can have 44 cause HAHAHA not really I tricked you… you can have 1 cause you are fat with a ph… phat… and you are smart with a ph… phart… DUDE! I just randomly did that and IT WORKS!
All those other dudes can have 1 cause I am LAZY! Oh K then…
Ah I was gonna have a sleepover today but that never worked out so DAGNAMIT!
REEL BIG FISH! (oh but if you are slightly 'trendier' then listen to The Used… they still pwn… but they are also actually known)
"WELCOME TO WHOS COUSIN IS IT ANYWAY!" Crazy Hand started as the crowd around him cheered and squealed and screamed and other random activities one would do when watching a guy they don't like get raped… in front of them… so we don't know if they are happy or sad… but… ON WITH THE SHOW!
"SMELLS LIKE HE JUST GOT OUT OF A WAL-MART! NESS OKINOWAKA!… SMELLS LIKE HE JUST GOT OUT OF MCDONNALDS! FOX MCCLOUD!… SMELLS LIKE HE JUST GOT OUT OF COLLEGE! GANNONDORF!…SMELLS LIKE HE JUST GOT OUT OF BRITANY SPEARS! CAPTAIN FALCON!"
Just then C. Falcon stood up smiling.
"THAT'S CAUSE I DID!"
Everyone looked at him shocked and then Crazy pressed a button sending a giant anvil onto C. Falcon and leaving Samus there instead… then the anvil disappeared.
"I'VE BEEN TOLD TO SAY A JOKE HERE SO HERE! IM CRAZY! IS THAT A JOKE! LAUGH GOD DAMNIT!" Crazy yelled as no one laughed.
"HERE BITCHES! HAHAHA!" Crazy Hand yelled and sent three missiles into the crowd killing a ton of random people… well only 5 but whatever…
Everyone laughed and applauded happily and now finally the show starts.
"THE FIRST ONE IS! WEIRD NEWSCASTERS! BE WEIRD! BE WEIRD FOR THE CHILDREN!" Crazy yelled and everyone stood up and went to the middle.
"OK BY THE WAY POINTS DON'T MATTER! POINTS DON'T MATTER AT ALL!" Crazy had yelled.
"YES THEY DO! HE'S FORCING US TO FIGHT OVER POINTS! HELP US!" Ness cried but was silenced by an anvil and Y. Link popped up in his place.
"NOW NOW NOW! Y. LINK IS THE NORMAL DUDE AS THE ANCHORMAN!… FOX IS THE PARANOID DOG TRYING TO WARN Y. LINK THAT OLD LADY JENKINS IS TRAPED IN THE MILL!… SAMUS IS A DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE! GANNONDORF IS A DRUNK COP WHO FOGOT THE MEANING OF WEATHER! LETS GO! START BEFORE I KILL YOU!" Crazy Hand yelled and they all started.
"Good Morning and welcome to the 12:38 news… tonight a story about a poodle and a bulldog and the romance that was deemed impossible… but first to our co-anchor spla ter… SPLA!"
Everyone just laughed partially scared of the crazy hand Crazy Hand standing… er… floating in front of them.
"ROOF ROOF! OLD! ROOF! OLD! OLD! ROOF ROOF! LADY! JENKINS! ROOF!" Fox said and started staring straight at the camera as if pointing.
"HAHA! That's right Spla! This just in an old lady was found dead trapped in a mill yesterday!… NOW TO GIBBLEDY GOBBLEDY GOOP!"
Samus sat there staring at the camera…
"Would you like to see my tulips… come in… let me pay you!… PLEASE! She started hanging off of Y. Links arm and he blushed as everyone laughed hysterically and then laughed more… Crazy Hand shot another missile into the crowd cause he was sick of all the laughter.
"Oh… in sports today…" Samus continued. "Shaq looks 'big' and DAMN! That guy looks FINE!" She said staring into the camera trying to drool but couldn't due to the suit. "Back to you Link..."
Y. Link sat there confused… "NOW TO THE WEATHER… WITH BIG NOSE!" Y. Link pointed to Gannondorf.
"H-HEY! What… ARE YOU… THAT'S A CRIME YOUNG… UM… ANYWAY!… LOOKS LIKE EVERYTHING SHOULD CLEAR UP FOR ME SOON… I sure hope so… AND UM… IN TOMOROWS WH-WH-HUH? WHAT! LETS JUST… UM CALL IT A BHLEB!… UM… SOMETHING… UM!" Gannondorf suddenly collapsed… everyone laughed and laughed and laughed… Crazy Hand just fell over screaming at all the laughter.
"THAT'S ENOUGH BACK TO YOUR CHAIRS! NOW!" He screamed hitting a buzzer.
"OK THAT'S NICE! 1000 POINTS TO FOX CAUSE NO ONE LAUGHED AT YOU! YAY!" Crazy Hand said but suddenly a loud bang was heard from the door.
"THAT'S IT CRAZY! I WAS SUPPOSED TO HOST THIS SHOW! NOW GET OUT OF MY CHAIR!" Master Hand yelled and the two hands faced each other in a western style scene.
Everyone watched dramatically when Crazy just floated away muttering something about overpriced butter.
"OK! NEXT UP WE HAVE COMPILATION ALBUMS! OR SOMETHING NAMES SOMETHING LIKE THAT!" Master Hand yelled and everyone clapped and cheered as their new host was here.
Y. LINK AND FOX ARE SELLING A COMPILATION ALBUM ABOUT COMEDIANS AND SAMUS AND GANNONDORF WILL TRY TO SING THE SONGS!… GO!"
"Good evening! We will be right back with 'SSBM: a mansion untold' right after this!" Y. Link said and Fox just laughed along.
"THAT'S RIGHT LINK!… comedians… love 'em or hate 'em you gotta love the music… and that's what we have for you today!" Fox said.
"THAT'S RIGHT! 245334 songs on 1 gold star CD!" Y. Link said and everyone screamed as nails were inserted.
"You know… I've always been a fan of the opera…" Y. Link started.
"REALLY! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE THAT YOUNG!" Fox said making everyone laugh.
"Umm… THAT'S RIGHT!… 'YOUNG' LINK IS ONLY A NICKNAME! IM ACTUALLY 62!… BUT ANYWAY! I always love that great opera hit! Bombing on Broadway!"
Opera music started as Samus and Gannondorf get prepped… then Samus starts first.
"AH-AH-AH!… IT'S THE OPERA! COMEDA! HE BOMBED IT! HA-HA-HA! ON BROADWAY!"
"THE COMEDY! AS YOU CAN SEE! WAS BOMBED TODAY! ON AH-AH-BROADWAY!"
Then the two looked at each other and started making a random garble of sound together moving their lips randomly… the crowd screamed in laughter and clapped and cheered and Master Hand just looked confused at the strange phenomenon…
"WOW!" Master Hand said… "WELL I GUESS ITS TIME FOR US TO BE FINISHED! CAUSE I DON'T WANT ANOTHER EVENT LIKE THAT TO HAPPEN!" Master Hand yelled and the credits started rolling down.
Gannondorf ran up instinctively and attempted to read the credits… but they fell on him and he was crushed. Next Y. Link started drinking Lon Lon Milk talking to Samus when she proposed to him causing him to gag on the milk and fall over blue.
Fox started linking himself when he just popped… THANKS TO MASTER HANDS UBER CONTROL SYSTEM!
Samus was confused at the strange things and just shot herself…
Master Hand turned to the screaming crowd… cause the nails were taken out and rust was applied before reinsertion.
"SEE YOU NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER RANDOM HAPPY EVENT!"… the screen faded as the crowd was killed by Crazy Hands random crazy reentrance.
YAY!
Now when I put Crazy Hands text I like to think of what I would do if I was in front of a large crowd of people… then I add a pound of lard…
You wouldn't believe what a whole pound of lard can DO… but trust me its good.
What else can I squeeze in here…
I LIKE… wontons… they pwn… so does ramen… hmm… BOO…
R&WTF! Read and Wash The Floor!
How was that!
Oh fine I'll leave!… Meanie!