A/N: For those of you who have asked, there will be two semi-sequels to this fic: Sokka and Aang's Guide to Rescuing Katara From Evil Fire Bastard Number 249 and Sokka and Zula's Most Dedicated Attempt Not To Kill Their Siblings (or More Recently Their Children) If you couldn't already tell, Sokka's going to be the main character in both of them, just because I love him so much.
Enjoy the last chapter. I've loved writing this fic---really, I did. I'm glad everyone who read it found it enjoyable, and I'm glad I'm not the only one amused at my odd humor. I'm also extremely happy with the number of reviews I've received. I've never gotten more than a hundred reviews before and it makes me squee just thinking about it! I've loved each and every review I've gotten, even the less complimentary ones, because I feel like those help me grow as a writer.
Thank you for reading this fic.
Much love,
Jakia
Unmatchmakers—Final ChapterChapter Six: Bet You Weren't Expecting That
XXX
Contrary to popular belief, Zuko was not amused at what Jee had told him.
"And you believed this woman?"
Jee blushed. "Yes."
Zuko scowled. "I should have you hanged for this!"
"I don't think your Uncle would like that very much. I'm his favorite Pai Sho partner."
Zuko growled. "He can get another one, then!" He then scowled some more, as it was one of his most favorite things to do.
His harsh gaze softened just a bit as he contemplated exactly what Jee had told him. "Do you really think the world is going to end if I marry Katara?" He muttered softly, so much so that Jee had almost not heard him.
It was another turning point for Jee, for his whole entire gut (and that burrito he had for lunch) was telling him to scream "Yes! Yes, the world would end! For the love of Agni, don't do it!" And yet, he couldn't find it in him to do so. It was a horrible thing to think about, but it seemed like in the end, Fate was going to have her way.
After all, what kind of cruel and heartless monster would he be to stop true love?
The smart kind. He thought as he lied through his teeth: "No, Prince Zuko, I don't believe it would."
"You think I should ask her, then?" Zuko asked quietly.
No. "I think you should follow your heart, Prince Zuko."
Zuko gave Jee one of his most rare smiles. "Really?"
Ye Gods, shoot me now. "Of course, Prince Zuko."
"Even if there will be a Waterbender on the throne?"
Your asking for the end of the world, aren't you, boy? "Well, technically, you haven't captured the Avatar, yet, sir."
Zuko blinked, as if the comment surprised him. "I haven't, have I?"
Jee growled. "No, sir, you haven't."
Zuko grinned. "I best get on that, then." He turned, walking out of the room with a smile on his face and a song in his heart.
Jee blinked.
Then he blinked again, just for good measure.
Right, it was about three o'clock in the morning and he had to be up in a few hours. He blew out his fire and went back to bed, pretending this conversation never happened. If he was lucky, he would wake up in a few hours and realize it was just a really, really weird dream.
XXX
MEANWHILE, SOMEWHERE ELSE…
"Well?" Sokka asked slowly and cautiously.
"Well what?" Aang asked, throwing a stick for Momo, who looked at Aang like Why don't you go get it instead of me?
"Are we going to rescue Katara yet, or are we just going to forget about her and move on?" Sokka asked, annoyed.
Aang sighed, looked at his wrist before remembering that watches hadn't been invented yet, and then looked at Sokka pitifully. "How long has she been gone?"
Sokka stared at him. "I don't know how long she's been gone! Too long!"
"Make a guess."
"Er," he scratched his head, thinking hard about it. "About a week, I think."
"That's plenty of time for her and Zuko to fall in love, then." He said, putting away Momo's stick. After all, in some fics it happened much quicker. "Come on, let's go rescue Katara."
"I thought that's what we were doing!" Sokka screamed. "How are we even going to find them, anyway?"
"Are you stupid or something?" Aang asked, curiously. "Their ship has been parked around the corner for at least three days."
"And we haven't rescued her yet!" Sokka yelled. "Why not?"
Aang shrugged. "Well, we're rescuing her now, aren't we? That counts for something, I think…"
XXX
BACK TO THE CIRCUS…
Hikari woke up first, several hours later, a fact in and of itself that was purely amazing.
It might've had something to do with the fact that she now had a boyfriend, but who knew?
She got up, got dressed, and walked out of the room quietly, whistling as she went.
"Hey Taro, do you know where Daisuke is?" She asked after she left the room, yawning as she did.
Taro blushed and almost dropped whatever he was holding. "Uh, I think he's in the kitchen with Jee…Why do you want to know?"
Hikari smiled. "Don't you know? We're dating."
Taro's world shattered.
XXX
"How!" He screamed, kicking whatever was near him. "I was supposed to get the girl! Not him!"
"It'll be alright, Taro." Shen said softly. "Maybe it was meant to be. After all, the fortuneteller did say…"
"Screw the fortuneteller!" He yelled. "I've had it up to here with that woman! Here we were, minding our own business, then we go and see her and now chaos has happened!" He waved his hand somewhere over his head as he spoke.
Shen sighed. "I'm just hoping she's wrong." He said sadly, slumping up against the wall.
Taro's anger vanished slightly in pity for Shen. "Oh yeah…your wife, she's gonna…"
"Leave me for my sister?" Shen offered. "I know."
Taro winced. "Sucks to be you, man." Was the first thing he thought of saying, before realizing that that it was probably inconsiderate of him and he should pity this man. "I'm…sorry?"
"Don't be." Shen brushed off Taro's apology. "After all, I sort of knew it was going to happen, it just…"
"Hurts?"
Shen smiled. "Yeah, it hurts."
Taro sat down beside him, sighing. "I guess I know how you feel. I just knew Hikari and I were meant to be…To see her with Daisuke just makes my blood boil."
"But Daisuke isn't your sister." Shen said sadly. "And Hikari's not your wife."
Taro put a comforting hand on Shen's shoulder. "It'll get better, I promise."
Shen scowled. "I doubt it."
Taro smiled. "Call it a gut feeling, then." And he left it at that.
XXX
"Everyone, I have an announcement to make." Jiro announced at the mess hall table, standing up and clearing his throat rather professionally-sounding.
"I have decided…to quit drinking."
No one listened to him.
"I'm serious." He said solemnly. "I've decided to give up my life of bitterness and uncertainty for a quiet and peaceful life with Akiko."
Still, none listened.
"I'm going to go to the AA meetings and everything!" He looked around curiously, seeing if anyone was listening to him. They weren't.
"Well, crap." He said, picking up his drink and gulping it down. It was quite hard to make a life-long change and commitment if no one cared he did it. He'd quit drinking tomorrow…maybe.
XXX
MEANWHILE, SOMEWHERE ELSE…
"Come on, Aang!" Sokka yelled. "Get dressed!"
"Ten more minutes…please?" Aang growled.
"No, we've gotta go rescue Katara from Evil Fire Bastard Number 249! Get up, now!"
Aang rolled his eyes. "You keep them numbered?"
Sokka blushed. "And your point is?"
"A bit obsessive, are you?" Aang yawned. "And Zuko is only number 249? How'd that happen?"
"Just…never mind! We gotta rescue Katara!"
XXX
BACK TO THE CIRCUS…
To Jee's horror, Zuko was singing.
It wasn't that he had a bad voice, oh no, it wasn't that. The Prince actually almost sounded good, it was just…
Zuko was singing.
You cannot fully imagine Jee's horror at this moment. It was like the apocalypse was coming or something. Zuko never sang. He never smiled. He was never happy.
He sure looked like he was now, though.
Unable to form coherent thought, Jee just kind of gapped at Zuko like a fish out of water.
"Oh, good morning, Jee!" Zuko said pleasantly.
Jee just blinked, and contemplated the punishment he would receive if he hit Zuko again. He almost needed it. The boy was getting far out of hand. He needed to stop.
Jee took a whiff of the cologne (Zuko didn't use cologne) Zuko was using before he made his decision.
XXX
"What the hell did you hit me for?" Zuko glared, fire erupting in the Prince's fingers. His nice shirt was now wrinkled up. The flowers in his hand were now being used as fuel for the fire in the Prince's hand. His eyes were blaring, and he certainly didn't look like the boy who, just a few seconds ago, was singing.
Jee sighed. It was so good having Prince Zuko back to normal.
"I'm sorry, Prince Zuko, but if you wouldn't keep scaring me like that I wouldn't have to hit you."
"Scare you!" Zuko screamed, the fire in his hands growing greatly in size. "I'll burn you, next time!"
Jee winced. "It was just—you were singing."
Zuko blushed, the fire in his hand dimming just slightly. "And? Is it against the rule for me to sing?"
Jee ignored him. "Your hair…it's shiny. Well, shinier than normal."
Zuko patted his topknot bashfully. "What's wrong with my hair?"
"And you…smell like cheap cologne."
"It's not cheap!" Zuko growled. "I paid top dollar for this stuff!"
"And you were dressed nicely and had flowers!" Jee yelled.
"What's wrong with the flowers? You think there a bit much?" Zuko asked nervously.
"YOU HAVE FLOWERS!" Jee's eye twitched slightly. "Well, you had flowers…"
"I was just trying to impress Katara. Is that so wrong?"
Jee winced. "You're trying---a little too hard, I think."
Zuko rubbed the back of his head quietly. "How long 'til Uncle's up and about, you think?"
Jee wrapped his arm around the poor boy, finally getting used to his wife-giving-him-death-threats-in-the-back-of-his-mind. "Too long. Here, I'll help you a bit."
XXX
THAT EVENING…
There was a soft knock at her door, so quietly that Katara barely heard it. She had spent most of the day hidden away in the female quarters of the ship, patiently avoiding Zuko. She wasn't avoiding him on purpose…well, maybe she was. She just wasn't sure what to say. Now that she was aware of her feelings towards Zuko, and Hikari's declaration (however foolish it might be) of the end of the world, she wasn't sure how to react around him. Before it had been so easy—just insult him and get on with life.
But now that she liked—no, loved him? It was damn near impossible.
What if Hikari's right? She thought sadly. What if we fall in love and then the world ends?
Impossible. She chided herself. Besides, they were in love now, and the world hadn't ended yet, had it?
But what if he doesn't love you? Her conscious begged. She gulped. She wouldn't let her mind go as far as to think that.
She opened the door, and all other previous doubts vanished.
It was Zuko.
He was dressed nicely, but not overly so, and there were a few handpicked roses in his hand. He was smiling shyly at her, and she couldn't help but notice a whiff of some odd-smelling cologne.
"Hey Katara." She swooned.
"Zuko!" She blushed, patting her messy braid furiously. "What are you—"
"Here." He said shy, handing her the roses. "I got these for you." His face had become the same brilliant shade of red as the flowers in her hands.
"Oh." She said quietly, taking in the roses smell. They were beautiful. She petted them lightly before setting them down on a table next to the door.
"I had more, but, uh…" His face was turning redder by the moment. "I 'lost' them."
"They're perfect." She murmured, not quite looking him in the eye.
"I'm glad you like them." He smiled at her again. There was an uneasy silence for a moment.
"Would you---like to take a walk with me?" He asked bashfully.
She blinked. Don't do it, Katara. Part of her mind argued with her, but then her heart took over from there.
"Of course." She said near silently, playing with her braid in a desperate attempt to make it look decent.
As she left the room for her and Zuko's "walk", she had only one last thought:
Sokka's going to kill me.
XXX
"…So I take it you've heard about the whole 'fortuneteller' mess by now, huh?" Zuko asked softly, after they had already begun walking for a few minutes.
"Yeah," she said friendly. "I mean, how crazy can you get?"
"I know!" He said, laughing. I love his laugh. She thought again. "Crazy."
"Madness." She agreed.
"Absolute foolishness." He summarized for her. "I mean, would you believe they believed some crazy old lady told them the world was going to end just because we fell in lov—" He stopped, a familiar crimson color returning to his cheek as he meekly finished "love."
"Crazy indeed." She murmured, her heart not in it as much as it was before.
All was still and quiet once more.
"Well, maybe not so crazy." He said, under his voice where she could barely hear him. "The fortuneteller…wasn't completely wrong."
Katara's heart stopped. She wasn't hearing this—she couldn't---he didn't---
He loved her, too, maybe?
"What was she right about?" She asked, terrified of his answer, stepping just a bit closer to him, to the point where their noses almost touched.
"This." He said, wrapping his arm around her. What happened next was merely a blur to both of them, as their lips met in the quiet of twilight---the moment when the sun and moon met for the first time in peaceful and loving harmony.
Then the world ended and they all died.
Bet you weren't expecting that.
…
No, I'm serious.
They all died.
…
Everyone did! Sokka, Aang, the Cabbage Man, the Gay Pirate, King Bumi, Aunt Wu…they're all dead.
…
Stop giving me that look! I told you it was going to happen! Hell, it says it in the fricking summary! Don't act so shocked.
…
What are you doing still reading? There's a review button right there. No need to read anymore.
…
You aren't getting me to change my ending.
…
Nope, no matter how many sad little-puppy eyes you give me, my ending is staying the same. The crew was right—and now they're all dead because they failed.
…
Stop it. I mean it.
…
Fine! I'll give you an alternate ending, since you begged so much…
Click for the "alternate" ending, if you must.
Losers.
/sarcasm. Please read the next chapter for explanation