SSBM GAME SHOWS!
Part 16! The Pathetic Race!
Disclaimer: Well… you should have at least an IQ of 1... And that will be all you need to tell what is mine and what isn't!
Reviews: Isn't it pathetic… really… truly… pathetic that you think that I care… because I do… I slit my wrists whenever people don't review that I know should be reviewing…
Actually… I've already sent your stupid review responses… so good job!
GOLD STARS:
You all start with 5...
No one gets to keep them because I want them!
Umm… good job… for reading… I guess… haha… IM A STRAIGHT A STUDENT!… and I am proof that anyone can get A's if they try… because I'm… weird…
REEL BIG FISH!
"YAY! HAHA! WOO! I JUST GOT OUT OF PRISON!" Crazy Hand screamed as he flew through the wall into the strangely cramped room.
"HEE HEE!… MEET THE TEAMS… AND WHATEVER!"
Nana and… Bowser ran in as one team…
Popo and… Zelda ran in as another team…
Mario and… Mewtwo ran in as the third team…
Marth and… C. Falcon ran in as the fourth and final team…
"WOW!… THESE TEAMS ARE SO LOGICAL!" Crazy Hand yelled… crazily…
"What the hell am I doing away from Popo?" Nana screamed in horror… she had never been anywhere without Popo… whenever they were apart she tended to explode into a cloud of smoke. This led to quite a lot of legal issues, as well as an extremely painful experience. Nana just couldn't function when Popo was gone… she got in the fetal position and started sucking her thumb. Just then she exploded.
"AH NOT AGAIN!… ok that's it!" Popo then pulled out his cell phone and called his lawyer.
"Yeah… hi… it's me again… yeah she exploded for the third time today!… blah… yadda… legal stuff…" Popo said over the phone to his lawyer… even though his lawyer wasn't even talking.
"NANA AND BOWSER'S TEAM IS DISQUALIFIED DUE TO DEATH!" Crazy Hand screamed and pulled a lever launching Bowser into the sun…
Popo figured out that his lawyer wasn't listening… So he hung up on him and called Bob's Slave Shack to see if there were any Eskimo midget women he could buy.
"OKAY!… THIS IS A RACE TO SEE WHO CAN GET TO UTAH FIRST!… WITHOUT USING ANY FORM OF AIRPLANES OR TRAINS OR CARS OR BOATS OR MAGIC OR TELEPORTATION!" Crazy Hand yelled, "YOU WILL FIND YOUR NEXT CLUE THE MINUTE YOU ENTER THE STATE!"
"Oh that wont be too hard… SEEING AS HOW WE ARE ALREADY IN UTAH!" C. Falcon screamed. And the cramped room was, in fact, in Utah.
"CONGRATULATIONS! POPO AND ZELDA WAS THE SLOWEST TEAM TO GET HERE THIS TIME SO THEY GET ELIMINATED FIRST!" Crazy hand screamed.
Before Popo or Zelda had time to protest, the floor under them gave way and they fell into a huge blender.
"UMM… NOW YOU GUYS NEED TO MAKE YOUR WAY TO CHINA WITHOUT CROSSING AN OCEAN!" Crazy Hand screamed… his voice box (located in the middle of his middle finger) exploded after this, so he was forced to use sign language.
Marth and C. Falcon, and Mario and Mewtwo looked around in confusion… there was no way to China without crossing an ocean!
Suddenly Marth got a thought in his mind… a brilliant thought… he was surprised he hadn't thought of it sooner… it was all so simple now… he could just kill Link and rape Zelda… that was the way!
Of course seeing as how Marth wasn't thinking of what the other three were thinking of… we will now have to disregard his insane mind's thoughts.
"I'VE-A GOT-A IT-A!" Mario yelled and proceeded to tell Mewtwo 'it'.
"With that Mewtwo transported Mario through the earth and into China" Mewtwo said.
"What-a the-a hell-a are-a you-a say-a-ing-a-a!" Mario said.
"Oh… sorry… sometimes I get so caught up in the moment that I forget to actually do it and end up saying it instead…" said Mewtwo
Of course… C. Falcon had heard this discussion… so he picked Marth up (seeing as how Marth was too busy thinking about Zelda to move his legs) and ran towards China going OVER the Ocean… but was very nice to the ocean so he didn't end up crossing it.
"TRANSPORT!" yelled Mewtwo, "AH I DID IT AGAIN!"
"STOP-A DOING-A THAT-A!" Mario cried.
"WELL MAYBE IF YOU WOULD TAKE ALL THOSE ANOYING -A'S OUT OF YOUR SENTENCE I COULD CONCENTRATE!" Mewtwo yelled.
C. Falcon was only 1000 miles to China now… and he was running at 500 miles a second.
Mewtwo began transporting with Mario… they were on there way straight to China.
"WHAT-A DO-A YOU-A MEAN-A TAKE-A THE-A -A'S-A OUT-A OF-A MY-A SENTANCES-A" Mario screamed, breaking Mewtwo's concentration causing their heads to go flying to China and nothing else… they died…
C. Falcon and Marth were in China, Marth was crying from the effects of not being with Zelda, Crazy Hand forgot we were doing a game show and went home.
"Umm… what do we do now…" C. Falcon asked.
"ZELDA!" Marth screamed.
"OKAY!" C. Falcon yelled. They both ran off to go do Zelda.
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(With Crazy Hand)
"HI MASTER HAND! HAHA!" Crazy Hand screamed breaking through the wall and Master Hands girlfriend, French Hand.
"YOU JUST KILLED MY GIRLFRIEND!" Master Hand screamed.
"WHO CARES!" Crazy Hand retorted.
"DON'T YOU HAVE A GAME SHOW TO BE HOSTING?" Master Hand yelled.
"WHO CARES!" Crazy Hand retorted.
"DIDN'T THIS STORY SAY THAT YOU HAD LOST YOUR VOICE BOX?" Master Hand shouted.
"IT LIED!" Crazy Hand retorted.
"AREN'T YOU AT LEAST A BIT SUSPICIOUS THAT I KNEW WHAT THE NARRATIVE SAID?" Master Hand bellowed.
"NOT REALLY!" Crazy Hand retorted.
"JUST GO FINISH THE GAME SHOW ALREADY YOU FREAK!" Master Hand hollered.
"OKAY THEN!" Crazy Hand retorted.
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(At Zelda's house)
Marth and C. Falcon were in a battle with Link over who could rape Zelda… Zelda was just watching them fight in interest… suddenly the Bird Flu came and killed them all.
Crazy Hand broke through the wall to see the dead Smashers all laying there… then he caught the Bird Flu and died…
Then the whole world died because Global Warming mixed with the Bird Flu and made everyone with the Bird Flu turn into Zombies and then melt.
YAY!
Well now we know… that we are all screwed… I MEAN IT!… IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!11!1oneoneelevenone
R&R Read and Reggae