Conduct Unbecoming

""You never told me you were serious about him.""

""I'm not.""

""That's not what you do with people your not serious about.""

I needed a subject change.

"So what's going on? Are you alright?"

""Well, I keep smelling this foul smell, and I can't get rid of it.""

""The book does say your sense of smell may become stronger.""

""Gin, it's probably nothing, you're crazy.""

""No," she said. "I'm pregnant and I'm allowed my eccentricities; the doctor said so. So shut up.""

I pulled up a chair and sat down, flipping through the book; through Month Five.

""For December we have continued constipation, leg cramps, and ankle swelling to look forward to.""

""Great, what else?""

""Ummm…varicose veins, maybe, and an easier or more difficult orgasm.""

She turned around, pushing her hair out of her face.

""Hermione. Please.""

""I'm just reading the book.""

""Well you of all people should know that orgasms are not my big concern right now.""

Ginny was handling things now, and I was proud of her; She was keeping the baby. Like everyone else, she'd made her choice and she'd stick to it, everyone else be damned.

""Ginny?"" I said.

""Yea?""

""What made you decide to sleep with him?""

Slowly she turned to face me, ""Why?""

""I don't know," I shrugged, "just wondered.""

""Did you sleep with Draco?""

""No," I said, "Of course not.""

""But he wants you to.""

""No, not exactly. He brought it up, that's all.""

She sat down beside me, pulling her hair back with her hands. She smelled like soap. ""What did you say?""

""I told him I'd think about it.""

She sat back letting it sink in. ""Do you want to?""

""I don't know. But he dos, and it's not that big a deal to him, you know? He doesn't understand why it is to me.""

""That's bullshit," she said simply. "He knows why.""

""It's not like that," I said. "I mean I really like him. And I think for guys like him-like that-it isn't that big of deal. It's just what, you know, you do.""

""Hermione." she shook her head. "This isn't about him. It's about you. You shouldn't do anything you're not ready for. Any guy would be damn lucky to have you, Hermione, and you know it. You're beautiful and smart and loyal and funny. Pansy Parkinson is just a stupid girl with a loud voice. That's it. You're special.""

""Ginny," I said. Please.""

""You don't have to believe me," she said, waving me off. But it's true, and I know you better than anyone. Draco Malfoy would be damn lucky if you chose him."" she said, and sneezed.

""I'm ready."" I said.

""Are you sure?""

""Were you ready?""

That stopped her. She smoothed her hands over her stomach; it looked like she swallowed a small melon, or a pumpkin. ""I don't know. Probably not. I loved him, and one night things just went farther than they had before. Afterwards I realized it was a mistake, in more ways than one.""

""Because it came off?"" I asked.

""Yea. And for other reasons, too. But I cant preach to you, because I was sure I was doing the right thing. I didn't know he'd be gone within a week. Like, literally, gone. But you have to consider that.""

""That he might die?""

""Not die," she said softly, and there was that ripple again, the one that came over her face whenever she spoke of him, and I suddenly realized how long it had really been. "I mean, I loved Blaise so much, but-I didn't know him that well. Just for a summer, you know. A lot could have happened this fall. I'll never know.""

""I can tell he wants to. Like soon. He's getting more pushy about it.""

""If you sleep with him, it will change things," she said. "It has to. And if he goes, you'll have lost more than just him. So be sure, Hermione. Be real sure.""