A/n: okay, so the next chapter got deleted and I didn't notice it until now.
This is under Inuyasha, Miroku, Shippo ((he doesn't really say anything; he isn't important in this story)), and Sango. Kikyo…she'll come in the next chapter. I want her to be with Miroku but I'm not so sure myself. D
Disclaimer: I do not own this song by Lacuna Coil and I do not own Inuyasha.
Chapter 5:
To live is to die
While emotions try to come out
Desperately I seek in their path
A way so I cannot be outdone
And to finish this search for the meaning
Inuyasha and his group were storming over to the western lands to try to get Kagome. He had a hard time controlling his anger, frustration, guilt and worry; all inside him, ready to burst out.
'I need to know what this means…I know I love Sango, Kagome…she's just too much innocent for me. I don't hate her or love her….she's nothing but a sister to me…more like a shard detector but still….I love Sango…' Inuyasha thought.
He tried to follow his emotions and thought he was over Kikyo when he wasn't. When Sango said that Kagome loved him; he didn't feel sure about himself. He didn't think they were meant to be…just like Kikyo and himself. He knew she was his true love 50 years ago, but when Sango came along, he learned to care for her.
To hide emotions cause a blow out
Desperately I seek their blast
A way so I cannot be outdone
And to finish this search for the meaning
'I can't show anyone how I feel… I may cause something unwanted to happen; to unleash my demon side…' Inuyasha put his right hand on his heart. 'Sango… I love you. I can't find the meaning towards my emotions.' True, they became mates while after they made love the day Kagome ran away.
'I want to find the meaning of all this. It's out of my reach though…'
"Inuyasha…Can you pick up any scent of Lady Kagome or Sesshomaru?" Miroku asked, running up to him. Sango came up right next to them, in her slayers outfit on Kirara. Miroku was happy for them now; he learned to let Sango go, since she was deeply in love with Inuyasha. Miroku knows he can find his love soon and defeat Naraku.
"No…but I do know some place close to the Western Lands…" Inuyasha growled.
I'm going to freeze
Is it my imagination?
It's underground
Inuyasha growled lower. He was so confused. He felt like he was running towards his death. He just had that feeling.
But I can feel it the same
"Inuyasha….it doesn't feel safe around here…" Sango said. Kirara growled in agreement.
What I need now
What I need is to live to hide
When you smothered my devotion
With your lies
Kagome felt as if she was near Inuyasha, but so far away. He crushed her pathetic dreams and her devotion to him. She hides from the truth, saying that she doesn't have any feeling left for Inuyasha. She knows she is lying, but she doesn't pay attention to it; she is wrapped up in kissing her newest hero.
Kagome pulled apart from Sesshomaru and smiled. "Sesshomaru-sama…"
"We have a small battle coming towards us…let's move to them…Rin will stay here…" Sesshomaru said, holding Kagome with a small very tiny microscopic smile. "Go pack…I'll be waiting for you….bring very little."
"Hai…Sesshomaru-sama…" Kagome breathed and went to go pack. Sesshomaru looked at her as she packed before went to the door, but then he saw a few scars on each of her wrists; blood lines.
"Kagome…? What the hell did you do to your arms?" He demanded.
"A-ano…?" She looked down and blushed. "I…cut myself…" she whispered so quietly that a human couldn't hear; Sesshomaru heard perfectly.
"Don't do it again…" I may not save you all the time…he added mentally in his head as he walked off.
As Kagome packed, she heard a voice coming from the window.
"So…you finally gave up on Inuyasha when he chose Sango; then come over to his brother's side for the fight to win the sword."
"Kikyo!" Kagome snarled as she whipped around, to see the undead miko sitting on the window.
"What do you want you….dead….witch?" Kagome glared. She never obviously liked her incarnation; she wanted her dead since she stole her first love so many times.
"Hah…very mature Kagome…but I have come to tell you something. Inuyasha wants you back. He wants to continue to hunt the shards and kill Naraku…" Kikyo said dully as the wind blew by.
Tears wanted to come out into Kagome's eyes. As if Inuyasha and Kikyo were kissing.
Kikyo obviously saw this clearly. So…she think I am going to steal Sesshomaru from her…she is a little brat sometimes.
And I feel now
As I did that time
That I'm wondering why
Still I make you cry
"Tell me Kagome….does it hurt you to know that Inuyasha doesn't want you and you find Sesshomaru more…attractive?" Kikyo said, raising her eyebrows.
Kagome blushed. Kikyo had hit the jackpot. "Shut up clay pot!" She shot back at Kikyo. She didn't seem to care.
"You seem to love him with your heart…but Inuyasha is on his way. He chose another girl; I am not his true love Kagome. Even I see it."
While emotions try to come out
Desperately I seek their path
A way so I cannot be outdone
And to finish this search for the meaning
Kikyo just watched as Kagome went through a lot of emotions. Kikyo clenched her fist, as she tried to control the fact that Inuyasha loved someone new; someone else.
Wha..? I don't understand any of this! Is this how Inuyasha feels when we keep telling him to leave Kikyo and stay with me…? Kagome thought as she clutched the sleeve of her kimono…
While emotions try to come out
Desperately I seek their path
A way so I cannot be outdone
And to finish this search for the meaning
"Do you care to find everything out Kagome? You know your love is forbidden." Kikyo said, dissolving into the blue sky. Kagome glared out the window. She wanted Kikyo gone; Kikyo was to burn in hell again was what Kagome thought. She knew it wasn't right. She convinced herself it was right. You know…she is right. She is you after all…you hate yourself Kagome…don't deny it. A small voice said to Kagome.
Suffering while I'm depending on seasons
Roots under me are embracing the earth
'My mind always changes…like the seasons…winter is on its way, and I can get colder then a ice storm…might as well deceive…Inuyasha, I hope you meet your death.' Kagome threw the last of her things into her yellow backpack as she thought of that thought. She was changing, she was aware, but her good self was trying to make her see the light.
A/n: okay, that's the end of this chapter. We near the end of this story, I dunno where it's going to end up as, but I have the pairings set down though:
Sesshomaru/Kagome ((DUH))
Inuyasha/Sango
Miroku/Kikyo - I dunno much about this couple. It's either Kikyo gets her own soul or they both die…with some love in the middle