Chapter Ten-Absent Friends and Lovers

Citadel Station was a city that never slept. It buzzed with the vibrancy of life and relentless traffic of small shuttles that docked continuously, bringing trade and vital supplies to the Ithorians and the other countless denizens that inhabited the many apartments.

In one of the small apartments, Carth Onasi slept restlessly in his bed. He was oblivious to the sounds of activity and life that hummed all around him. He tossed and turned in his sleep uneasily, his eyes rolling restlessly beneath his closed eyelids. Dark lines furrowed his brow, contrasting with his usual healthy pallor. He moaned deeply in his sleep, crying out one name: Revan.

He stood in the living quarters of their shared apartment, glancing as the shower room door slid open in front of him. She walked in, her blonde hair clinging damply to the side of her face, a towel held in one hand. She smiled widely at him as she saw him observing her, and he felt his heart melt at the sight of her. She had become so very precious to him, this woman with the delicate features and piercing hazel eyes.

She tossed the towel to the floor, and went across to where he stood. "I've finished, if you want to use the shower room, it's a bit of a mess...you know me and my lack of neatness," she grinned at him.

He brushed a strand of damp hair off her cheek, and leaning down, he kissed her tenderly. As he slid his arm around her waist, he whispered in her ear.

"Hey, stop that mister," she chided, laughing.

"I don't mind, if you don't," he replied, raising an eyebrow at her suggestively.

She giggled in his arms, playing with the lock of dark hair that swung over his brow. She smoothed it back, and kissed the side of his mouth, "Carth…there is something that I must talk to you about."

He stood back from her, holding her at arms length, "Look, I don't want to hear this. I really don't," he frowned worriedly, "I know this is something that I don't want to hear, so please don't tell me."

She walked away from him, sitting down at a small circular table. Absently, she touched the blaster pistol that lay in the centre. "This is not easy for me, Carth. I want you to understand…"

"Dammit, Revan! There's nothing to understand. You're going, I know you are!" he shouted at her petulantly.

"There's no need to raise your voice."

He came across and grabbed her shoulder, "Look at me Revan. Dammit, look at me!"

She turned slowly in her seat, reaching up a hand to ease the tight grip that he had on her, "What?" she replied, looking up at him.

"I can see it in your eyes," he replied sadly.

She held out her hand, and took his gently in her own, grasping it tightly. "Sit down a minute Carth." She watched as he pulled up a chair near to her, "You have known all along that this day would come. You have known this since we've been together."

"It doesn't make it any easier Revan, I…I can't bear to lose you, not after all that we have been through. Is it so wrong that I don't want you to go?"

"I am haunted, Carth," she replied, watching his startled reaction, "I haven't been sleeping well…"

"Yeah, I know Revan. I've seen you; I've heard you… talk in your sleep."

It was her turn to look at him with a startled expression.

"You don't think that I don't know what it is that haunts you? I'm not that stupid or insensitive, Revan. I know about the Mandalorian and the Jedi Civil wars, I know all about Malak…and I also know that you blame yourself…"

"And I have good reasons to blame myself, Carth," she replied vehemently, "I have done so many, many things that I am utterly ashamed off. They are imprinted deeply in here," she laid her hand against her heart, "I have to make amends…"

"No, Revan," he shouted, leaping out of his seat angrily, "You have redeemed yourself. You have proven yourself…don't do this," he pleaded, "don't do it to us…to me."

She rose out of her seat slowly, and moving to him, she softly stroked his cheek, "I love you Carth," she gazed deeply into his sad brown eyes. "If you don't remember anything else, always know that I love you. And please understand that I have to go. I don't want to leave you…"

"Then don't…" he pleaded.

Revan shook her head sadly, "I have too, my love." She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and pressed him close to her, "I have to do this, Carth," she whispered.

"If…if you do this, then I will wait for you Revan," he replied quietly as he stroked her hair, "I will always be here, waiting for you."

She nodded her head, tears running silently down her cheeks, "Just don't make this any harder for me than it already is."

"When are you thinking of leaving?" he choked the words out.

"Tomorrow. First thing. I am taking the Ebon Hawk," she said quietly.

"Are you taking anyone with you?" he inquired bleakly.

"What do you mean…?" she looked up at him sharply.

"A certain Mandalorian bounty hunter…"

She shook her head, her damp hair swaying around her shoulders with the motion, "No. I am just taking the ship and the droids. I will not take anyone with me, especially the ones that I love."

Carth glanced at her.

She sighed, smiling at him, "I mean you, you fool." She kissed him softly, "If I can…I will come back to you Carth, I promise you that."

He pulled her to him, his chin resting on top of her head. He smelt the sweet fragrance of her hair; inhaling its essence as if engraving it forever in his mind. He looked across the room sadly, knowing that his time with her was drawing to a close. Tomorrow, he would be on his own. He hoped that it would not be forever.

The sudden shrill beeping of the communications console from the living quarters woke him with a start. He reached across the mattress, grimacing as he realised that he lay in the bed alone. After seven years, you'd think that I would be used to it, he thought bitterly. The words of his dream reached across to him, if I can…I will come back to you Carth, I promise you that. Angrily, he shoved the blankets away from him, and sitting on the edge of the bed, he ran a hand through his dishevelled hair.

The console did not relent in its blaring. Carth grabbed a crumpled shirt from the floor, and tugging it on, he walked bare foot out of the bedroom to the living quarters.

"Hold it, I'm coming," he muttered sleepily as he pressed the communications button. He pulled up a chair and sat down, his elbows resting on the console.

"Yeah," he said irritably, looking down into the small screen.

"Admiral, I hope that I did not awaken you," a strongly accented voice inquired.

"Ah, Master Juhani…what is the problem?" he asked frowning. It was a rare occurrence for her to contact him; any dealings between the Republic and the academy were always done through Mical. "I hope all is well with the Enclave?"

"That is why I have contacted you. I do not know how to say this…"

Carth leant towards the screen, "What is it?"

"They have gone."

Carth sighed in frustration, "Juhani, it is late, I am tired. Can you please explain what's wrong?"

The small image of Juhani shook her head, "Masters Mical and Visas. They have left Dantooine, on a fool's errand…"

Carth looked at the image of Juhani surprised, "What do you mean?"

"They have gone in search of the Exile."

Carths arm slipped off the console, and he banged himself hard in the cheek with his hand, "What?" he exclaimed sharply, "When was this?"

"They left three days ago, Admiral…"

"And you have only just thought to tell me of this now?" he slammed his fist angrily against the side of the console. "I can't believe this!"

"I have been busy with the running of the academy, Admiral," she replied sharply, "I have not had time to contact you."

He shook his head, "Apologies, Juhani, I did not mean that, I have been caught unawares by this news. I need to think further on this matter," he rubbed his beard thoughtfully, "Keep in contact. I may need your help and guidance."

"Admiral?" Juhani asked questioningly.

Carth smiled at her, "This may be to our mutual benefit. I will be in touch."

"Yes, Admiral. Of course."

"Admiral Onasi signing out," he pressed the communications button, and the screen went blank. Carth sat at the console, staring at it thoughtfully.

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The cantina throbbed with the sound of music, low talking and the clink of glasses. Carth walked in, aware that several pairs of eyes were on him, watching him with caution. The room went silent. He stood there, and raised his hands in the air, "I am not here for any trouble-I just came here for a drink."

The sound resumed as the drinkers went back to their business.

Carth pulled up a stool, and leaned with his arms on the bar counter. He beckoned to the droid bar tender, "Give me a shot of corellian brandy…no, make that a large one."

The droid deposited a glass in front of Carth.

The cantinas door slid open, and a woman stepped through. Carth felt his breath catch in his throat. He watched as she walked across to the raised stage, where the musicians were playing a rhythmic tempo, her shoulder length blonde hair swaying. His hands grabbed the glass tightly, and with wonder he waited for her to turn around, a concentrated look upon his face. The woman turned, and seeing him observing her, she smiled. Carth sat back in disappointment, the woman had blue eyes that shined across the room, Revan had hazel eyes…

Come on Carth, get a grip, he thought bitterly, as if she would just walk back into your life unannounced. He turned back to the bar sullenly, and raising his glass, he swallowed the drink in one gulp, relishing the feel of warmth as the liquor burnt down his throat.

He beckoned the bar tender, "Another…"

There was a clink as the droid deposited another large drink on the bar in front of him, and the empty glass was removed swiftly.

"Well, hello," he heard a female voice say in Galactic Basic, "I do not like to see a man drink alone, especially such a handsome one."

Carth glanced across, and saw a pale green skinned Twi'lek leaning against the bar close to him.

He turned back to his glass, "Sorry, I'm not in the mood for company."

The woman leaned close to him, "Why is this… ah, you wait for someone, no? A woman?

Carth sighed, "Look…"

The Twi'lek replied, "Skyrae."

"Look, Skyrae, if you don't mind, I would rather be alone."

"She must foolish to keep a fine-looking man such as yourself waiting," she ran a finger up his arm, smiling at him sultrily.

Carth shook his head, "It's not like that…" damn, he thought, I've admitted it now.

"So," the Twi'lek purred in his ear, "You do wait." She glanced around the room, "I do not see anyone here, so I think that she left you, no?"

"I don't want to talk about it," he replied slowly, "If you don't mind, I would rather just sit here…"

"Sit alone, and drink!" she exclaimed, "But that is no fun for the handsome man."

Carth smiled at her vacantly, "It's what I would like."

"Bah, sit alone, cry into your drink. I think your woman will not come. You be alone, I do not care, schutta!" she cursed him angrily, "Skyrae look for good time, not sad empty man alone at bar!"

Carth watched as the Twi'lek stalked gracefully away from him, smiling as he watched her approach another equally lonely looking male sat at one of the cantinas tables near the stage. He sighed, "Its all for the credits."

He picked up his glass, draining half of it. What I would give for a friendly familiar face, he thought sadly, they are all gone, all my friends of old. Jolee, he smiled at the memory of the sour old Jedi and his grouchy demeanour. Mission, now at the academy with Juhani, hell he thought, I would even settle for Canderous' snide comments and glowering contempt. He wondered what had happened to the bounty hunter. It seemed that he had vanished from the face of the galaxy.

Carth raised his glass, Here's to absent friends…and lovers, he said silently.