Title: It is what I do
Author: Adsagsona
Type: Romance
Rating: PG – PG 13
Disclaimer: Nothing about the movieverse Alexander belongs to me, I don't own a thing, sadly enough. I believe the real Alexander the Great and his companions belong to history and themselves.
Warnings: Mild Slash.
Beta: None.
Pairing: Mild Cassander/Hephaestion, allusions to Alexander/Hephaestion
Archive: Note: This was something which had been hopping about in my mind for a few days, I just needed to write it down. For those who like Cassander/Hephaestion.
Spoilers: For 'Alexander'
Summary: Do you know the tale of the scorpion of the swan, asked Cassander to Hephaestion. What did that have to do with anything?
It is what I do
---------------
The stars shone bright in the desert, with not one other light clinging to them and taking their glow from them. Startling blue eyes looked up towards them, the young man who posessed them trying to think of a time when he had been so free and careless like the stars. It seemed like centuries ago, he was beginning to feel like an old man, sitting in front of the bench of his house.
But that was just it. The young man knew that he would never grow old enough to have that small house made out of clay and bricks, to gaze up towards the same sky and wonder what it was like to be young again and serve in the army of Alexander. He had never said it with so many words, but he knew that his death would come within a few years.
Preferably it would be by an enemy arrow or spear, perhaps even a sword, in the midst of battle, so that he would not feel more than a bit of sharp pain, before the darkness would envelope him. He would go down to the House of Death with nothing but pride in his heart, and love for the man who brought them this far. Alexander. Always Alexander.
"What dark thoughts are you sporting this night, Hephaestion?"
The soft voice which penetrated his thoughts did not sound like the one he needed. No, it was softer than Alexanders, and full of the unshed malice that it was capable of. A young man sat down on his side of the fire, his short sword clattering sligthly against the armour of his legs.
"No dark thoughts, Cassander. Not that it is any of your business."
Hephaestions voice always sounded cold when he talked to the dark haired youth. They had been companions from the moment they had schooled together under Aristotle, but there had always hung a violent air between them. Hephaestion had always known why. Alexander. Cassander had been jealous of him from the moment he had learned that Hephaestion had stolen the heart of their Prince. He would have gladly traded places.
"Such hurtful words. Are you in a bad mood? Did the King not love you thoroughly enough?"
At such hateful words, Hephaestion gritted his teeth and chose to ignore them. He was used to hearing them from some others, taunting him when he passed, but most knew nothing about him. The glimpse they caught from Hephaestion was outwardly and he seldomly revealed what he felt.
"Lost your tongue already, Hephaestion? Perhaps I am right then and it is tired. I should have known."
The voice sounded more darkly now and finally the General had enough, slinging his hand across to slap the cheek of the dark haired young man beside him harshly.
"Stop it!" He hissed between clenched teeth as a furious haze made him see red for a moment. He had lost his calm exterior in front of Cassander and he instantly regretted it.
"Ah, so there is life in you. I was beginning to think you would not react at all."
A bronzed hand lifted towards Cassanders cheek and he seemed to test if his jaw was still working. Hephaestion looked at him like he had just lost his mind.
"Why do you always say such things, Cassander? Do you get your pleasure from it? Or is it that you like seeing me distressed?"
"Even if I would like it, you never show yourself, Hephaestion. I have the feeling I have never known you… and perhaps I am right even."
Cassander lowered his hand, a small trickle of blood seeped from the corner of his mouth where Hephaestions hand had hit him. Dark eyes settled upon the face of the General and he went to stand. His surprise was rather great when a hand got wrapped around his wrist. Hephaestion looked at him with shimmering eyes.
"You didn't answer my question."
Now Cassander was the one being caught off guard and he settled down beside the other again, with a faint hint of a smile playing about his lips.
"Looking for a replacement?"
At the glare of the other General he lifted his hand in apology and glanced into the fire, not able to look at the other any longer. The young man threw a small piece of earth into the fire, making it sizzle, before he began to speak again.
"Do you know the story of the scorpion and the swan, Hephaestion?"
He asked this in a low voice, turning his head slightly to the side so that he could watch the emotions play over Hephaestions face. The other had never been that good at hiding them, but it seemed that tonight he could keep himself from laughing straight into his face or say anything mocking.
"What do you mean?"
"So you do not. Let me tell it then."
Hephaestion glanced suspiciously at Cassander, letting his hands fall at his knees, slinging his large cape over his body so that it was obscured from Cassanders sight. He tilted his head towards the other young man, but most of his hair trailed over his eyes, so that not even they were visible. This frustrated Cassander to no end as it meant that he could not read Hephaestion like he usually did.
If the eyes were the mirror to the soul, than the young General certainly posessed one of the hightest polished silver. It was so easy to get any information out of him just by looking at him. Cassander however, was raised with the secrecy of the court, not able to show his emotions, his fears, his dreams… betrayal lay too close to the truth to show yourself. A murder amongst royalty was more common than you would think.
At the continued silence, it became hard for him to speak, but he swallowed and began his tale.
"One day, a scorpion neared a river. Now, he was not used to this and knew that he could not swim. His short paws would never be enough to permit him to cross."
This far Hephaestion could still follow the other and he nodded to let the other go on. He had glanced up slightly, tucking his shoulder-length hair behind an ear, so that his eyes became visible again, but trained them to the ground.
"The swan heard the outcry of rage by the scorpion and came swimming towards the shore. 'What is wrong?' She asked friendly towards the smaller animal. He answered that he could not get across the stream without any kind of help."
Again it made sense, although the young man did not know why Cassander was telling him this. Why did he want him to know this? The dark haired General had scooted a little closer, his voice had lowered to a whisper. Hephaestion was careful, but kept his attention towards the voice of the other.
"The swan reasoned with herself, that she could bring the scorpion across. What difference would it make if she helpt another creature. Surely he would not infect her with his poisonous sting, because that would be death for the both of them."
Hephaestion now nodded towards Cassander, that was true at least. The young man abruptly stopped his tale when there were soldiers surrounding them and stood. Dusting himself off, he glanced back towards Hephaestion. Stretching out his hand, he wanted to help the other up.
The General contemplated before accepting the outstretched hand and getting hauled up onto his feet. Cassander didn't release his fingers immediately, holding onto them for a little moment longer than necessary.
"Let us walk."
Neither of them wanted to be seen in each others company. Hephaestion nodded and let the other lead the way, following them closeby before reaching his side. As they walked together, the silence between them grew, before Cassander decided to continue his tale.
"The swan finally agreed to take the scorpion on her back to take him over the river. The scorpion thanked her, grateful for her help, and climbed onto her back. Do you know what happens next?"
They were alone, almost completely shaded in the dark, and Hephaestion suddenly stopped. What was Cassander on about? The young man shook his head.
"No." He murmured softly, although he had a slight idea of what would happen.
"When they were halfway across the stream, the scorpion stung the swan."
"But then… that means that they both would drown." Hephaestions voice came hesitantly and he bit his lower lip softly. Why was he getting anxious about something so foolish as a story? Perhaps it was the proximity of Cassander, who had stepped closer to him.
"The swan asked the scorpion why he would do such a thing, because indeed, they were both drowning. Do you know what the scorpion answered?"
Hephaestion could not find his voice, but shook his head quietly. Cassander stepped even closer.
"It is what I do."
The words hung into the air, heavy and solid, between both young men. Hephaestion began to understand why Cassander had told him this… The dark haired General leaned closer towards him and pressed soft, thin lips upon his. Cassander could not help himself feeling jealous about the love the two young men shared, nor could he help the snide remarks he made to a Hephaestion at his most vulnerable.
Hephaestion gasped at the kiss, thus giving Cassander the opportunity to slide his tongue into his mouth. Eyes fluttered closed at the touch and Cassander took his time to explore the hot cavern which was the mouth of the other young man. Hephaestion only then realised what he was doing and pushed him away.
"Get away from me! What do you think you're doing? First you weave this tale and then… you kiss me. What is this all about?"
Cassander looked up, his dark eyes now, for the first time, filled with some kind of emotion, although it was hard to see in the blackness of the night which surrounded them.
"This is about you and Alexander… and about us." Cassander answered then softly as he let his hand brush over Hephaestions forearm, letting a shudder pass over his spine.
"There is no us, Cassander." He whispered then, looking back towards the camp. They did not miss them, so it seemed. Alexander was in his own tent, together with Parmenion to contemplate about the new battle. He had not needed Hephaestion, telling him to take a night to himself.
Slender fingers caught long strands of hair, grasping them and tugging on them, but not painfully. It just made the young man who was standing a little taller lean forward.
"I am not a fool, Hephaestion… I know that you belong to Alexander, he has made sure of that from the first moment he laid eyes on you. Nobody stood a chance against him."
Had Cassander wanted a chance?
"What is it you want from me?"
The words came swiftly in a whisper, before he sighed. He wanted to turn away from the other, go to Alexander and beg him to hold him and make all the doubts go away. The response from Cassander held him rooted in his spot though.
"You are the beautiful swan, Hephaestion. But I promise you that I won't sting tonight. Why won't you let me give you what Alexander can not?"
"He gives me everything I need."
His voice sounded a litte wavering at the proximity of the other and although he wanted to push Cassander away, he felt like he could not.
"Where was he when you cried yourself to sleep, Hephaestion? When he took his bride? He did not come to you then, did he? He found that vile woman more interesting than you. Why do you not understand that he will destroy you?"
"Stop it… just, stop it."
Hephaestion shivered, but he knew that it wasn't from the cold. How could the other be so cruel to confront him with this, his worst fear that he had carried with him for all of his life? That one day Alexander would say to him that his heart had finally found a place, and it would not be with Hephaestion.
"Not until you see some sense, my dear boy." Cassander answered softly as he cupped the cheek of the General before him. The beauty of the man before him struck him every time again, but tonight he was not jealous. Hephaestion did not look at him with nothing but ice in those striking blue eyes, they had fluttered closed, and he did not bat his hand away like he would have only hours ago.
"Why do you do this to me, Cassander? Why can't you just let this be? I know who Alexander is… I know what he longs from others."
"Ah!" The young soldiers sounded frustrated and gripped Hephaestions shoulders tighter, forcing the other to look at him.
"I hate you, Hephaestion. How can you sound so sure about this? Why do you sound so…"
"Like myself?"
The answer came softly and Cassander couldn't do more but nod. The dark haired soldier had never fully understood the companion of his youth and how he could be so unconditional in love with their Prince and now their King.
"You know the tale of the scorpion and the swan so well, Cassander, do you not know the answer? The swan knew about the scorpion, and still she took the chance to bring him across. I know Alexander, better than most, and that is why I don't run from him. I know him."
Slowly but surely he began to understand as well, the General bowed his head and let go of Hephaestions shoulders. He was almost sorry that he had dragged the other so far from camp to get him in this conversation. Like always, he had lost to the sharp mind of the other.
He was surprised though when strong arms took him by the upper arms and directed him in a gentle embrace. Soft lips found his in a tender kiss, which merely lasted a few seconds. Hephaestion looked down up him with shimmering blue eyes and he smiled softly.
"Please don't hate Alexander for something he can not change. Would it be another time and place, Cassander…"
"I know." The dark haired General waved it away and pulled away from the embrace of the other. He stalked into the dark and back towards the high roaring flames of the large fire, far from where Hephaestion had been seated a few hours before.
The young man shook his head and walked back at his own pace towards the camp. He ignored the tent of Alexander, knowing that his Queen would be there, but he was surprised to see the King standing there, waiting for him to return. In his eyes glowed a fierce emotion and he pulled Hephaestion into the tent with him.
"What was going on out there? You and Cassander," He hissed, his face very close to Hephaestions, his breath a mixture of wine and something Hephaestion could not define immediately. He gave his King a push, so that the other had to let go of him. Sapphire eyes stood furious and he glared at Alexander.
"What is the meaning of this, Alexander?" He asked in an effort to keep calm. He rubbed his wrist where the painful grip of his King had lain only moments ago.
"I saw the both of you."
"What does it matter to you? You have your wife and your slave, is that not enough? I did not know that I was to spare myself exclusively to you, my King. Or was that your order?"
For Alexander, it was like a slap in the face. Hephaestion never had spoken to him like this before. Perhaps his suspicions had been true, Cassander had put these poisonous ideas into the head of his long time friend. Why else would he speak like this?
"You know that I can not make it different… I have to marry." The young King said softly.
Hephaestion sighed and shook his head, that was not what he meant. He knew that the other had to marry, produce heirs and Bagoas… he could even forgive Alexander about Bagoas.
"Alexander…" He sighed before wrapping his arms around the body of the other young man, burying his face into the others shoulder, squeezing his eyes tightly shut for a moment. He felt the response of Alexander, the arms holding him.
"I do not doubt you… but you should do the same. If you ask me to be confident in my love for you, why can you not the same for me and believe me?"
"I am afraid to lose you."
Now this was honesty.
"You will never lose me… and if you think that Cassander would be the one to drag me away from you, then I should slap you until you see some sense." Hephaestion smiled now and reluctantly Alexander did the same.
The young man pressed a soft kiss to his Kings lips, and pulled away.
"Go… I'll be fine."
Alexander did not even realise that this was one of the nights were he was expected by his wife. That Hephaestion kept so well track, was one of the signs that he still immensely cared. Nodding, he hugged the young man to him, before disappearing out of the tent.
Hephaestion sat himself by the fire again, looking up at the stars, in the same position as he had been a few hours ago. Now he had much more to contemplate. A group of soldiers walked by and he heard some of the honing laughs.
"Got kicked out by the King?"
The sarcastic voice threw him off, and he looked up into the eyes of Cassander. At the same moment a soft hand brushed over his shoulder as in apology. The sting of the scorpion would never hurt so much again.