::Author's Note::

Dirt

Pairings: JxJ

::Warning::

Contains: Abuse; Rape;

Future: Fluff

::Jet's PoV::

With constant battles to discover one's self, it's always a surprise on why some wake up in the morning. Maybe it's the skies above that keep them moving, but to me it only brings me down. In this heartless world, it's hard to bring myself alone to wake up to the morning light. How that damned light brings a sharp pain to the back of my head after a long night, I do not know, but the beautiful sky above had me lost today. Sometimes the way the world turned I would believe it was showing me a new path however... That path always had the ending I couldn't see. Fear was something that many couldn't bring themselves to face. Even me, Jet Enduro am afraid of what I fear. My dreams are not those that have spiders to cry over... No... I don't have the legendary monsters chasing me down a hall way, I have my own monsters. The main monster I fear though, out of all the other ones are worse. Constantly, it will never leave me alone in the back of my mind. It will always be standing over me, every waking moment. I cry to get myself to sleep sometimes, yet it doesn't stop. Continuously, these dreams carry out each day. The monster I fear that travels amongst the same path I do... is... myself.

Think...

His body was betraying him in every way he thought it could. Every cry was of his bodies' enjoyment, but not his own. Each thrust from the other made him want to die, and he did inside but also enjoyed it. It was like someone else possessed him and controlled each reaction he held. His breathes becoming heavy, deepening his urges into the lustful night. Grasping a hold of his back, he knew that he couldn't hold out much longer than the other, for he was still new to this new... experience. His legs cringed, wrapping tightly around the other's back, just begging at this point to continue... A sharp cry reached his lips, pain and pleasure mixing together all at once when everything had just seemed to fade away into darkness.

Get away...

::Morning::

His lips spread open into a small smile welcoming the new arrival of the autumn morning. As cold seeped through the air in the room, young Jet fluttered his eyes fluttered open to the world trying to place himself in the middle of everything. With the night hitting him heavily like a ton of bricks, he managed to muster a groan from the cracked voice of a long painful hang over. Chills traveled over his spine, awakening to the smell of fresh coffee brewing not even in another room a far from him. When rolling over, an empty feeling struck through his heart, piercing every side of it to awaken next to him.

Run fast as you can...

He began to stumble about the room to find the clothing that had been tossed about the night before. 'Had it really gotten that out of hand?' The least of things he wanted was to awaken next to his enemy, and even bare at that. Reaching for his shirt from the lamp, hesitantly he pulled it over his smooth skin looking back to the slumbering Janus. Was it right to just leave like this? With a part of him wanting to run, and another part of him wanting to stay, sluggishly he dressed himself but was only able to get his under clothes on when the slumbering male had awoken to look to him. "Your in a hurry." His voice chuckled childishly to him in a taunting manor.

Run away...

Cringing at what he had done, Jet looked over his shoulder harshly. He hated Janus, always he had. Last night was a night however of a hated lust, and even more vengeance, however Jet didn't do the punishing. "What are you looking at?" His voice muffled by the wrappings of the scarves around his neck hiding the marks and bites left behind. "Something that is beautiful and mine..." Proudly he held up a pair of handcuffs with his index finger, gently swinging them back and forth. Finally gripping it, a grin crept over his lips watching Jet's every reaction. "Up for another round, love?"

Escape...

Scowling under his breath, Jet turned his back to the man in bed finishing with his dressing signaling that he was soon to leave. Tying off the ends of the scarf, Jet casually strided towards the doorway pulled back hard against the wall. Janus had the opposite in mind though as Jet. He drove him towards the bed, straddling the boy's waist while working on chains to make him hold still, but Jet was a fighter... at first. He watched Jet squirm as he began to strip him leaving marks on the pale silky flesh that most of them could heal, but one wouldn't. He watched him struggled when knocking the boy's head against the wall, and even grow still and silent when forced to far. "One last dance my Jet?" He asked with a grin, caressing roughly his bruised side. "Why I'd love to." Janus grinned answering himself watching tears begin to run.

While you can...

Have you ever had someone try to tell you how you feel? Like the can explain to you, you, like a laid out book that everyone can read for their enjoyment. If I was a book, I'd be torn into pieces so no one could read a page. I would be a lost langue so no one would understand me, or even hear my words anymore. My stories would make those cry, and others want to draw back. If I was a book, I would be hated and banned, and most of all treasured by the one who holds it. If I am a book, your probably reading me right now, for you are me. I am a book laid out for all you to read, abused and laid torn, you can hear me cry. You can hear me shake, you can see me shiver. You can see me cry, and you can feel me die. Destroy this horror story already, it's not worth reading.

Now that I'm nobody

Left behind in the cold, the boy had been abused to where he couldn't feel a part of him no more... No longer could he move, his body coursed with to much pain. No longer did he want to breath, as each breath hurt him deeper more. Chains rattled as he cried out for help, but no one came that night, nor for days. Blood spread across the bed, trickling droplets even to the floor. Forever they would be stained with his 'dirty' blood. Setting his fate into his mind, Jet cried more each time Janus had arrived back to greet the alone boy, only to abuse him in his way again. It went on for weeks until finally he was left alone so he could die in peace perhaps. Jet didn't know, but....

'Did... He forget me?'

Opening his eyes for what he believed to be one last time, he could feel them draw wider open than he wanted. Something forced him to look up, even with all the energy he no longer owned he wanted to. Those familiar eyes looking down upon him, just having to seem to awaited him to awake. He had been sitting at the edge, smiling down to Jet. But... why? Why was he here? Jet couldn't understand until the chains were being lifted off from his body and wrist, freeing him from the restrains. He whimpered, but soon was engulfed in a warm pair of arms drawing him close to his chest. The boy's cries became hushed as the man who sat there stroked his hands through the grey strands of hair, gently rocking him in his arms. Lifting his head, Jet had to make sure this was real... That it wasn't just a dream.

Where... did he come from?

Leaning up, his eyes closed softly to return to that darkness in his mind. It didn't stop his action that he wanted to prove to himself. With their lips tying together, Jet finally felt as if he had found what he had been looking for on this lone journey... and Clive felt the same.

I found what I was looking for...

And lying in his arms, Jet soon fell back into a content state of sleep.

It was you all along.

To be continued...