Heya! I'm back! (With a vengeance!) I was on vacation to Russia. It was so much fun! Though the Moscow city air was way dirty… But it was a good trip. Okay, now, on to important things! On with the SHOW! And I don't own FMA.. blah, blah, blah, all that stuff...

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Morning dawned over the ocean. Seagulls started their daily routines; fish started leaping out of the water for no apparent reason; and two ships sailed across the green blue water a kilometer apart. Two figures watched from the leading vessel while it pushed steadily on while the other followed as if attached with a rope.

"You know what Al? I think they're really following us."

"What gave you that idea, Nii-san?"

Edward Elric sighed and rummaged through his pockets until he found a golden hand-held telescope. After a good long look through the thing, he glanced at his metal-clad brother. His brother glanced back.

"They don't look like pirates to me. They're all wearing blue and some of them look oddly familiar. But the Brig's too far away to tell for sure, and the captain looks a little drunk…."

"Does our captain know?"

"About the drunk?"

"No! About the pirates!"

"I don't know…"

"Shouldn't we tell him?"

"Fine, but nothing's going to happen. And if they do board, we can take 'em, right Al?"

"Yeah. Sure…"

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Meanwhile…

"Colonel, I think that's a trading ship." Hawkeye turned to her superior. "You know how much economic and commercial problems Amestris has been having lately.

"Relax, Hawkeye, have some rum! It's the only thing we salvaged from the pirates. I found them in the old captain's desk and it's the last bottle!" The colonel offered yet Riza politely refused. "Fine be that way. Anyways, it's not like anyone important is on that ship and we do have to eat, you know!"

Hawkeye sighed. This was just getting too out of control. They were about to attack a vital trading ship, Mustang was drunk, and there was nothing to eat. All of a sudden she grabbed the old style bottle out of the colonel's hands, but he held on stubbornly.

"Hey! What are you doing!"

"Can't you think at all? If we're about to commander that galleon over there, we should at least do so without you being completely wasted!" Yelled the Lieutenant and pulled harder, yanking the bottle out of Roy's hands and throwing it overboard.

"NO! THE RUM!" The colonel grabbed for the bottle unsuccessfully as it splashed into the waves, never to be seen by human eyes again. Screams could be heard from the neighboring ship. Mustang turned to his subordinate "You took the rum away! It was still half full!"

"I did that for your own health!"

"How can I be healthy without rum!"

Hawkeye sighed once again and turned to leave. "Would've been even better if I did that sooner. Then we might have been able to fight without a drunken captain…"

"I'm NOT DRUNK! And I'm not speaking to you for the rest of the day!"

"See how care…"

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1 Hour later…

The ships were almost touching and both were swarming with crew. Okay, the galleon was swarming, and Mustang's ship was crawling with several crew members. The Colonel stood at the wheel of his ship as the others prepared to board. Ed and Al were standing in the middle of the larger ship, bug-eyed and gawking at the current captain of their attackers. (He was swaying from side to side in spite of himself)

"What the HELL is that bastard colonel think he's DOING!"

"Um, brother? What are we going to do?"

"Let's see... If he wants to take this ship and get court-marshaled, that's his problem. But we have to get to where ever it is we're going. If that means we have to fight them off, then so be it!"

It was at that moment that a large explosion rocked the trade ship catching everyone off-guard and sending half the crew flying into the water. The smoke cleared revealing a smirking Colonel, four charging figures attacking the nearest people around and one lone dog biting the hell out of anyone who got in the way. Al sprung to defend the crew as the other Elric brother sprung to meet Roy on the other ship.

"Shortie? What are you doing here?" Roy stared at Edward, now standing in front of him looking quite angry.

"I'm not short! And anyways, what the hell are you doing!" Edward was now very pissed off and very confused.

"I'm taking this ship, munchkin. What's it look like?"

"Munchkin? I don't know how much you've drunk today or why you're doing the things that you are-"

"Of course you don't. Tiny little dwarf kids like you don't know anything because you're so short!" Interrupted Roy.

"That didn't make any sense, but I'll kill you anyways!" The Elric yelled, transmutating a spear out of the floor and banisters. At the same time, Roy aimed and snapped his fingers at Ed's general yet not entirely precise direction due to alcohol abuse. This resulted in the Elric jumping away, evading the flaming miss-matched attack and hopping onto the lowest mast with a sail. This pissed off Roy even more for his vision became blurred and looking upward now hurt his head. All of a sudden he tipped over and almost fell on the floor.

"What's wrong, Mustang? Had a little too much rum?" taunted the fifteen-year-old.

"I am NOT drunk!" The colonel lifted his arm and collapsed on the ground, but not before snapping and sending a huge explosion erupting from the deck of the trading ship. Luckily, most of the crew stood on the other side of the galleon, just finished with getting rid of the traders and trying to ward off Alphose. Maes was nowhere to be found. Unluckily, the ship started sinking with almost all the food and supplies still inside and not confiscated.

"Roy, what are you doing!" A cry was heard as the five (including Al) rushed to get off the sinking galleon. At that point, the colonel previously mentioned lay unconscious on the deck of the old pirate ship, oblivious to the protests and cries of his crew.

After a short while, Hughes turned up with a suspicious looking smug look on his face.

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Later that evening…

"So, Hughes. If that is your real name."

"It is! It is!"

"Oh, really? Then where have you been when we were fighting? Hiding in a corner?" The interrogation continued with Maes tied up to the main mast with three suspicious officers and a dog watching his every move.

"I wasn't hiding in a corner! I was sneaking food- I mean-" The prisoner cut off.

"So you did sneak food over here! Where is it?" Havoc inquired, pocking him with a stick.

"Ow! That hurts!"

"Just tell us where the food is, Hughes. I know what you're up to. You were going to eat it all by yourself, weren't you? Even I, the great Luis Alex Armstrong, wouldn't stoop that low!" The lieutenant colonel cringed as sparkles appeared around the alchemists face.

"Search the ship!" The order was called, Havoc, Armstrong, and Black Hayate ran off to obey, and Riza just sighed and turned to face the Elrics.

"Sorry about that, Ed. Al. We didn't know you were on tat ship."

"But why did you attack? What's going on, anyways?" A confused looking Al inquired. His brother nodded, curious as well.

"You see, we were on our way to the Colonel's promotion ceremony, and let's just say things went a little haywire from there…"

"Huh?"

"You see, the brig we got on back at the port was commanded by pirates. We didn't know it at the time, but when we realized it, it was too late. The only thing left to do was kick the ones who tried kidnapping us out. Then the colonel here-" Hawkeye was interrupted as a certain aforementioned persona slammed the cabin door open and walked onto the deck.

"What did I do? Every time something bad happens, it's always my fault!" Before Riza had a chance to answer the colonel, Edward cut in.

"Oh, so you're awake now? I thought you'd sleep till morning. You really shouldn't drink that much."

"Shut up, Full Metal…"

"I take it you're the one who ordered our ship commandeered. Were you drunk then, too?" The Elric persisted.

"I'll kill you-"

"You said that before, let's see… How did that one turn out?"

"Gaah! Just shut up! My head hurts like hell! Hawkeye, do we have any Tylenol?"

"That's strange; I thought you weren't going to talk to me today." The Lieutenant answered coolly.

"Everyone's against me! I'm going to bed!"

"Didn't you have enough beauty sleep today?" Ed started again.

"Grrrr…." Mustang left and silence once again fell over the ship except for the futile attempts of Hughes to get somebody's attention. Too bad he was gagged and tied up to the mast.

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Yeah, Ed and Al got on the ship and it would seem they're not going to starve to death. Well maybe Maes will… Thanks for all the reviews and I hope to see you in the next chapter. If I won't be lazy enough to not write it…