Authors Note- Wow, that's a lot of reviews! Thank you so much! The title is
still under consideration, but please keep the ideas coming
Chapter Two- "You do look like me"
He managed to get the door unlocked with suitcases and a sleeping girl in arm. It was pitch black in the apartment when the door closed. Each step was taken carefully with the lack of light, but he still remembered the disaster that his living style was. But then again, he called lots of things lots of different things when he was alone.
The small journey to his bedroom was successful. He switched on the bedside lamp, allowing his eyes to adjust. There was no need to pull back the covers, the bed was never made to begin with.
Ryan gently laid Lillian along the mattress, not disturbing her. She didn't notice the change, just pulled her legs to her chest and softly sighed. He couldn't help but looking at her, staring in fact, if she was awake she'd probably be staring right back at him. Something as sleeping could be a memorizing thing with your own child.
"You do look like me" he confessed, if only to himself.
The one thing that tore him up was pulling Lillian out of the only world she knew for the little time she had been alive. She knew her mom, and Seth, and that was it. She didn't know what a father was until it was explained to her, and he didn't know what a daughter was until he found out he had one.
What if Seth had called him earlier? Sooner.
He couldn't get that out of his head for the plane ride back to California. Anyone could have told him, and he wouldn't have missed the first four years of his own child's life. Marissa said she wanted to protect him. From what? Being a father? That's not what he would have chosen. Either way, it didn't matter, not anymore.
But he didn't miss her first word, maybe it was luck that she waited four years. Waited just to meet him. And it still got to him to replay that scene over and over in his mind. Lillian running after him down the hallway, screaming, begging for him not to go. Summer, Marissa, and Seth just stood in shock, not like he was too sure what to do either. It was like she had been talking all along, but only waited until that one moment to let everyone know.
Still, those were her first words, and currently her last. No one could blame her at this point, after watching her mother die, she probably thought she had been better off not saying anything. They were still encouraging her, but the look on her face as she sat on his lap at the funeral was her own thoughts thinking it was her fault. He wasn't going to let her believe that.
Ryan left her alone to sleep, returning to the other room, sitting on the same couch he was on when Seth called him and told him to get to New York as soon as possible. The phone was still in the same place he left it. Everything looked exactly the same, but it sure as hell wasn't. Pretty soon, a litter of toys would join the clutter he already created. Note to self, he had to get her some toys, all he was able to get from New York was some of her clothing, which wouldn't last long. Maybe he should clean up now. He didn't know how to raise a baby let alone a toddler, especially alone. Seth continuously offered any help, saying he'd come visit whenever he had the chance for assistance. That seemed wrong, his best friend knowing more about his daughter than he did.
Well the workaholic part of him was going to have to stop, immediately. He'd have to find a day care, and eventually school. Marissa already started a college fund for her, but that was still fourteen years away.....
Since when could things get so complicated?
The phone began to ring. Ignoring the fact that it was de ja vu, he quickly grabbed it before Lillian woke up.
"Hello?".
"So you two made it back alright?" the infamous Julie Cooper.
Be nice, be nice he kept telling himself. "Oh, yeah, and you?".
"Just fine" cue uncomfortable silence, "so what time are you bringing Lilly by tomorrow?".
Where did that come from? "Excuse me?".
"My granddaughter. I've already got her room set up here, but since its late, she mind as well spend the night with you, is she already asleep?".
"Yes, but, Marissa's will said that she wanted Lilly to be with me".
That laugh, that evil laugh that wasn't even created from real humor, but just to spite him. "Of course it did, that's just the way she was. But its obvious that Lilly belongs with me".
"Actually, its not".
"You're her father".
He was ready for a fight, one he wasn't expecting to loose, " more or less the reason why I should continuing raising her, don't you think?".
That laugh again, "where were you the first four years Ryan?".
"Uninformed".
"Either you hand her over, or the state of California will".
Hand her over? She wasn't a piece of property, she was a human being for crying out loud. "Good luck with that one Julie" and he slammed the phone onto the wood table, possibly cracking it.
Entering the room once again, he calmed himself a little to make sure his small rage didn't wake her up. It didn't. She was still asleep, though had turned over and was now facing the other wall.
For the little girl he didn't know very well, he wasn't going to let her go.
Chapter Two- "You do look like me"
He managed to get the door unlocked with suitcases and a sleeping girl in arm. It was pitch black in the apartment when the door closed. Each step was taken carefully with the lack of light, but he still remembered the disaster that his living style was. But then again, he called lots of things lots of different things when he was alone.
The small journey to his bedroom was successful. He switched on the bedside lamp, allowing his eyes to adjust. There was no need to pull back the covers, the bed was never made to begin with.
Ryan gently laid Lillian along the mattress, not disturbing her. She didn't notice the change, just pulled her legs to her chest and softly sighed. He couldn't help but looking at her, staring in fact, if she was awake she'd probably be staring right back at him. Something as sleeping could be a memorizing thing with your own child.
"You do look like me" he confessed, if only to himself.
The one thing that tore him up was pulling Lillian out of the only world she knew for the little time she had been alive. She knew her mom, and Seth, and that was it. She didn't know what a father was until it was explained to her, and he didn't know what a daughter was until he found out he had one.
What if Seth had called him earlier? Sooner.
He couldn't get that out of his head for the plane ride back to California. Anyone could have told him, and he wouldn't have missed the first four years of his own child's life. Marissa said she wanted to protect him. From what? Being a father? That's not what he would have chosen. Either way, it didn't matter, not anymore.
But he didn't miss her first word, maybe it was luck that she waited four years. Waited just to meet him. And it still got to him to replay that scene over and over in his mind. Lillian running after him down the hallway, screaming, begging for him not to go. Summer, Marissa, and Seth just stood in shock, not like he was too sure what to do either. It was like she had been talking all along, but only waited until that one moment to let everyone know.
Still, those were her first words, and currently her last. No one could blame her at this point, after watching her mother die, she probably thought she had been better off not saying anything. They were still encouraging her, but the look on her face as she sat on his lap at the funeral was her own thoughts thinking it was her fault. He wasn't going to let her believe that.
Ryan left her alone to sleep, returning to the other room, sitting on the same couch he was on when Seth called him and told him to get to New York as soon as possible. The phone was still in the same place he left it. Everything looked exactly the same, but it sure as hell wasn't. Pretty soon, a litter of toys would join the clutter he already created. Note to self, he had to get her some toys, all he was able to get from New York was some of her clothing, which wouldn't last long. Maybe he should clean up now. He didn't know how to raise a baby let alone a toddler, especially alone. Seth continuously offered any help, saying he'd come visit whenever he had the chance for assistance. That seemed wrong, his best friend knowing more about his daughter than he did.
Well the workaholic part of him was going to have to stop, immediately. He'd have to find a day care, and eventually school. Marissa already started a college fund for her, but that was still fourteen years away.....
Since when could things get so complicated?
The phone began to ring. Ignoring the fact that it was de ja vu, he quickly grabbed it before Lillian woke up.
"Hello?".
"So you two made it back alright?" the infamous Julie Cooper.
Be nice, be nice he kept telling himself. "Oh, yeah, and you?".
"Just fine" cue uncomfortable silence, "so what time are you bringing Lilly by tomorrow?".
Where did that come from? "Excuse me?".
"My granddaughter. I've already got her room set up here, but since its late, she mind as well spend the night with you, is she already asleep?".
"Yes, but, Marissa's will said that she wanted Lilly to be with me".
That laugh, that evil laugh that wasn't even created from real humor, but just to spite him. "Of course it did, that's just the way she was. But its obvious that Lilly belongs with me".
"Actually, its not".
"You're her father".
He was ready for a fight, one he wasn't expecting to loose, " more or less the reason why I should continuing raising her, don't you think?".
That laugh again, "where were you the first four years Ryan?".
"Uninformed".
"Either you hand her over, or the state of California will".
Hand her over? She wasn't a piece of property, she was a human being for crying out loud. "Good luck with that one Julie" and he slammed the phone onto the wood table, possibly cracking it.
Entering the room once again, he calmed himself a little to make sure his small rage didn't wake her up. It didn't. She was still asleep, though had turned over and was now facing the other wall.
For the little girl he didn't know very well, he wasn't going to let her go.