Chapter Ten- "Well, Amber is a friend, who happens to be a girl"
Hailey was sitting on the front porch when Ryan pulled into the driveway. From the walkway, he could hear muffled crying. She got to her feet as fast as she could when seeing him.
"I don't know what happened! She was with Rachel and then just...well don't listen to me, get in there!".
He ran inside and found the staircase. Jimmy, a worn out Jimmy, and a young girl who easily passed as his offspring, stood near one of the doorways. He moved out of Ryan's way and he stepped into a little girls room. Lillian had herself wedged corner between the bed and the closet, screaming. Her face was damp and bright red, buried in her knees. Ryan dropped to his own knees next to her, and immediately pulled her into his arms, which somewhat silenced her. She changed her position so she was being held properly. After a moment or two, she was calmer and quieter. He gently stroked her back as she sniffed back several tears, the ones that weren't already on his shoulder.
"What happened Lil?" he asked softly.
She didn't answer right away, hesitating whether or not she wanted to mention it. But she did, "mommy's dead".
Ryan froze. That was the first time she ever acknowledged Marissa's death, at least aloud. After the incident, both him and Seth gracefully explained, in a five year olds version, what had happened. She didn't say anything, not like they were expecting her to. But she seemed to had accepted that, but that was the first ' dead' he heard.
"Yeah honey, she is. I'm sorry".
She hiccupped, "and it's my fault".
Instantaneously, he pulled her back from him, staring her right in the bloodshot eyes, "who told you that?".
Lillian shrugged, "I did".
"No Lilly, that's not true" he was very firm, "don't believe that, don't even think that".
He wasn't sure who was to blame for the accident, or even if there was anyone to blame. But Ryan would put himself in those accusations before her.
"I ran into the street".
"So did mommy" and he'd verbally battle his daughter over this one. Once she hit thirteen, he'd have to get use to it.
"But I ran away from you".
"Well, why don't we stick together for a little while? I've got a good feeling about that" Lillian nodded, "and let me know if you ever want to talk about mommy, and we will, okay?". Another nod, "hey, I've got a surprise for you. There's someone coming over tonight, and she really wants to meet you".
A look of puzzlement expressed itself on her face, which he should have taken more seriously than he did at the time.
Lillian sat perched on the edge of the couch watching her father pace back and forth. And yet she couldn't figure out why the man that appears to be so stable was now a basket case.
He stopped in front of her, "you like that dress, right?". It was the only dress she owned that made it from New York. Never the less, she nodded to avoid making things more difficult than they already seemed to be. "Okay, the person you're going to meet tonight, if you do or don't like her, I want you to let me know".
"Is she your girlfriend?".
Ryan's eyes bulged, "y-you know what that is?". Was that in a kids vocabulary?
"I think, Seth would sometimes talk about not having one".
"Well Amber is a friend, who happens to be a girl".
Lillian stared with blank eyes, and Ryan realized he was talking to a kid, not a teenager. How many people say that one in high school.
"I should stop before I confuse you".
She shrugged, "I'm not".
"I am".
There was a knock, and Ryan nearly jumped out of his skin. The second he had the door open, Amber was kissing him, and he could only pray Lillian wasn't looking.
"What's going on?" she smirked. He must have made it obvious that there was something.
"No, there's just....someone I want you to meet".
This was his last chance to prevent Lillian's exposure, but Ryan couldn't find a long term advantage to that. Lillian scooted closer to the cushions edge when seeing Amber.
"Hey there cutie" she cooed, kneeling in front of Lillian. Ryan had no idea who Amber was assuming Lillian was, "what's your name?".
She wasn't going to lie, "Lilly" but shockingly enough, she didn't say her last name. Ryan' throat suddenly dried up.
Amber grinned, looking up at him, "why didn't you tell me you had a niece? She's so cute".
Niece? Even if he had one, he'd never know it. Lillian glanced at him as well. By that point, she knew what her dad was doing, or trying to do. She also knew he could easily mend any conflicts that may break out by simply saying that she was his niece. After all, he seemed to be hesitating it.
But he didn't.
"She's not my niece Amber, she's my daughter".
Amber snorted, "you don't have a daughter".
He gave a quick smile to Lillian, "yeah, I do".
"No you don't, come on, you would have told me".
"It's a bit more complicated than that".
She slowly rose to her feet, "what are you talking about?" she muttered.
Ryan bent down, gathering Lillian in his arms and standing again, " Amber Lexington, meet Lilly Atwood".
Lillian waved, however, Amber's jaw hung loose. She took a step backwards, acting as though they were the plague. "This is a trick, right? Some kind of a sick joke?".
They both shook their heads.
"So this is what happened in New York? And this is why you were acting so weird earlier?".
He placed Lillian on the couch, "it's a similar position to the one you're in now".
"I don't think so. I don't have some kid stashed away on the side".
Some kid? He wondered how many people saw Lillian as that.
"At least listen to me, you have it all wrong".
"No, you're the one who has it wrong. Thinking I'll be just fine with- whatever you want to call it. Well think again Ryan".
He wasn't going to let her get away with storming off, and managed to grab her wrist in the hallway. "You don't understand, I didn't know about Lilly until I went back to New York. No one told me about her, so how could I have told you?".
She whipped her hand away, "well congratulations, it's a girl".
Hailey was sitting on the front porch when Ryan pulled into the driveway. From the walkway, he could hear muffled crying. She got to her feet as fast as she could when seeing him.
"I don't know what happened! She was with Rachel and then just...well don't listen to me, get in there!".
He ran inside and found the staircase. Jimmy, a worn out Jimmy, and a young girl who easily passed as his offspring, stood near one of the doorways. He moved out of Ryan's way and he stepped into a little girls room. Lillian had herself wedged corner between the bed and the closet, screaming. Her face was damp and bright red, buried in her knees. Ryan dropped to his own knees next to her, and immediately pulled her into his arms, which somewhat silenced her. She changed her position so she was being held properly. After a moment or two, she was calmer and quieter. He gently stroked her back as she sniffed back several tears, the ones that weren't already on his shoulder.
"What happened Lil?" he asked softly.
She didn't answer right away, hesitating whether or not she wanted to mention it. But she did, "mommy's dead".
Ryan froze. That was the first time she ever acknowledged Marissa's death, at least aloud. After the incident, both him and Seth gracefully explained, in a five year olds version, what had happened. She didn't say anything, not like they were expecting her to. But she seemed to had accepted that, but that was the first ' dead' he heard.
"Yeah honey, she is. I'm sorry".
She hiccupped, "and it's my fault".
Instantaneously, he pulled her back from him, staring her right in the bloodshot eyes, "who told you that?".
Lillian shrugged, "I did".
"No Lilly, that's not true" he was very firm, "don't believe that, don't even think that".
He wasn't sure who was to blame for the accident, or even if there was anyone to blame. But Ryan would put himself in those accusations before her.
"I ran into the street".
"So did mommy" and he'd verbally battle his daughter over this one. Once she hit thirteen, he'd have to get use to it.
"But I ran away from you".
"Well, why don't we stick together for a little while? I've got a good feeling about that" Lillian nodded, "and let me know if you ever want to talk about mommy, and we will, okay?". Another nod, "hey, I've got a surprise for you. There's someone coming over tonight, and she really wants to meet you".
A look of puzzlement expressed itself on her face, which he should have taken more seriously than he did at the time.
Lillian sat perched on the edge of the couch watching her father pace back and forth. And yet she couldn't figure out why the man that appears to be so stable was now a basket case.
He stopped in front of her, "you like that dress, right?". It was the only dress she owned that made it from New York. Never the less, she nodded to avoid making things more difficult than they already seemed to be. "Okay, the person you're going to meet tonight, if you do or don't like her, I want you to let me know".
"Is she your girlfriend?".
Ryan's eyes bulged, "y-you know what that is?". Was that in a kids vocabulary?
"I think, Seth would sometimes talk about not having one".
"Well Amber is a friend, who happens to be a girl".
Lillian stared with blank eyes, and Ryan realized he was talking to a kid, not a teenager. How many people say that one in high school.
"I should stop before I confuse you".
She shrugged, "I'm not".
"I am".
There was a knock, and Ryan nearly jumped out of his skin. The second he had the door open, Amber was kissing him, and he could only pray Lillian wasn't looking.
"What's going on?" she smirked. He must have made it obvious that there was something.
"No, there's just....someone I want you to meet".
This was his last chance to prevent Lillian's exposure, but Ryan couldn't find a long term advantage to that. Lillian scooted closer to the cushions edge when seeing Amber.
"Hey there cutie" she cooed, kneeling in front of Lillian. Ryan had no idea who Amber was assuming Lillian was, "what's your name?".
She wasn't going to lie, "Lilly" but shockingly enough, she didn't say her last name. Ryan' throat suddenly dried up.
Amber grinned, looking up at him, "why didn't you tell me you had a niece? She's so cute".
Niece? Even if he had one, he'd never know it. Lillian glanced at him as well. By that point, she knew what her dad was doing, or trying to do. She also knew he could easily mend any conflicts that may break out by simply saying that she was his niece. After all, he seemed to be hesitating it.
But he didn't.
"She's not my niece Amber, she's my daughter".
Amber snorted, "you don't have a daughter".
He gave a quick smile to Lillian, "yeah, I do".
"No you don't, come on, you would have told me".
"It's a bit more complicated than that".
She slowly rose to her feet, "what are you talking about?" she muttered.
Ryan bent down, gathering Lillian in his arms and standing again, " Amber Lexington, meet Lilly Atwood".
Lillian waved, however, Amber's jaw hung loose. She took a step backwards, acting as though they were the plague. "This is a trick, right? Some kind of a sick joke?".
They both shook their heads.
"So this is what happened in New York? And this is why you were acting so weird earlier?".
He placed Lillian on the couch, "it's a similar position to the one you're in now".
"I don't think so. I don't have some kid stashed away on the side".
Some kid? He wondered how many people saw Lillian as that.
"At least listen to me, you have it all wrong".
"No, you're the one who has it wrong. Thinking I'll be just fine with- whatever you want to call it. Well think again Ryan".
He wasn't going to let her get away with storming off, and managed to grab her wrist in the hallway. "You don't understand, I didn't know about Lilly until I went back to New York. No one told me about her, so how could I have told you?".
She whipped her hand away, "well congratulations, it's a girl".