**Disclaimer: Kenshin...I need to own you!

Kenshin: Oro???

Me: Heh, that didn't sound right, huh? *sigh* I do not own Rurouni Kenshin, or Kenshin himself...but you know?? This is almost as good...**

Conversations & Decisions

~*~

Hiro was standing there, watching her.

"Look!"

Ami hopped on one foot, spinning around rapidly at the same time. The trees blurred and everything was spinning. After spinning for awhile, she halted, stumbling around, laughing.

"Getting dizzy is so fun," she said, trying to stand still. She tried to latch her gaze onto Hiro. "Isn't it? Right?"

She looked to his face, but it was the same serious expression as ever. It had never bothered her until now, but suddenly her heart felt broken. She tried to walk towards him, but everything just seemed so wobbly...

Kenshin wouldn't do that!

The cool, icy blue eyes watched her calmly.

Where were the violet ones?

"Where's Kenshin," she yelled anxiously. She stumbled towards Hiro, but he seemed to be getting farther away, and everything was rocking...

"Kenshin!"

Where were the violet eyes that laughed with her?

Even though Hiro was so far away, she could see his eyes clearly. Now they looked grey, like the clouds when it was about to storm.

Ami closed her eyes and mustered up her strength, dashing forward.  It seemed she ran for a long time, until she finally crashed into him.

"Hiro-" Ami started, opening her eyes, but broke off as she saw Kenshin above her, smiling, red locks being combed by the wind.

"Kenshin," said Ami nervously, wanting to look around but not daring to take her eyes off him, in case he might disappear. "Kenshin, where's Hiro?"

"I don't know, Ami-chan," he said clearly.

His arms circled around her, and Ami tried to relax, though her mind was whirling.

"Where's Hiro," she whispered. Kenshin hugged her tighter in reply.

She could vaguely feel Hiro's eyes on her back. And then Ami suddenly knew, that she and Kenshin were together, but Hiro wouldn't ever be able to be included in their bonds.

He was outside.

"Hiro," she tried to yell, but when the cry came from her, the name she yelled was of a different person's.

..........

.......

...

"Kenshin!"

~*~

Kenshin was gone.

Ami awoke facing his empty bed. She lay there, blinking wearily, as if in a stupor. "Ken...shin," she whispered to herself. And then a great ache built up inside her, followed by panic. "Hiro!"

She had been dreaming, she knew. She couldn't remember what had happened, but she knew in the dream that something had happened to cause a great guiltiness and sadness to well up inside her. Now she had an idea. Before, she had always said Hiro's name, hadn't she? But now...

Kenshin was replacing Hiro.

"K-" she started again, clutching her blankets hard. "Hiro...."

Why? Why is this happening? Oh Hiro, I've betrayed you, haven't I? I'm so sorry, please, oh please forgive me for being so weak...

Who was to blame? Herself.

Not Kenshin, never Kenshin, she thought tearfully to herself, closing her eyes hard, blocking out everything but herself and her thoughts.

A small part of her wanted to blame him for doing this to her. She had always loved Hiro, never been bothered by him. Her acknowledgment of why she acted more shy around Kenshin than Hiro was proving to herself that if she had never met anyone like Kenshin, Hiro would have always been enough. But she couldn't blame Kenshin. Yes, it's her fault, her's alone, it's not Kenshin's fault that he is so wonderful and kind...

And that Hiro was so silent...

No! thought Ami, almost panicked-like. Stop thinking like that! Stop comparing them!

My brother...

"Gomen nasai, Hiro," she whispered softly. She clenched her fists, digging her nails into her palm, to punish herself. After a while she stopped, bringing her palms to her face, staring at the small crescent marks on her palm. Maybe I should do it till it bleeds, Ami thought sadly. Would that be okay, Hiro?

She slowly curled her hand into a fist again, applying pressure. But she didn't make it bleed.

Too weak, she knew. I'm too weak. Too afraid of pain.

Her fists unclenched.

~*~

Ami changed and stepped out of the room, seeing no one but the servants in the hallways.

"Excuse me," she said hesitantly, tugging lightly on a servant's sleeve to get her attention. "Do you know where Sachi-san or Kenshin are?"

"The Mistress and Himura-san are in the kitchens, I believe," said the servant, giving a small bow with her head.

"Oh, thank you," Ami said, bowing back uncertainly, then turning to run down the stairs. The servant smiled after her.

~*~

Kenshin and Sachi were exchanging cooking tips.

It was too strange to believe, Ami thought, as she stood in the doorway, watching them bustle around. She smiled, a giggle threatening to burst from her as she watched them work. Kenshin's sleeves were rolled up, and he was even wearing an apron, telling Sachi how much salt he usually put into soups. Seeing Kenshin like this...was sort of hard to explain...it looked cute.

Not cute! Ami thought quickly afterwards, clamping a hand over her mouth reflexively. What kind of man would want to be called cute? It was more like an insult to Kenshin. Umm...funny? she tried. Interesting?

"Ah, Ami-chan," said Kenshin cheerfully, turning to her. Ami took the hand away from her face and smiled shyly at him.

"Ohayou," she said to him. Ami saw Sachi turn towards her. "Ohayou Sachi-san," she added.

"Ohayou, Ami-chan," Sachi said warmly. "You had a good sleep, I presume?"

"She must have, because she was sleeping very peacefully when I left," said Kenshin.

"Yes," nodded Ami. She stood in the middle of the kitchen uncertainly, then asked, "Do you want help?"

"We're almost done. Why don't you just wait at the table?"

Ami nodded at Sachi's suggestion, then exited the room, heading for the dining table they had used last night. Domon was sitting there.

"Hello, hello!" beamed Domon. "Sachi's almost done?"

Domon folded up the newspaper he had been reading and clapped his hands lightly at Ami's nod.

"Excellent. You had a good sleep?"

Another nod.

"Good, good!" And then...

WHACK!

"You don't need to repeat yourself," said Sachi sourly. "I'm sure Ami's hearing is fine."

"All right, all right-"

"Domon..." Sachi weedled, setting the soup down, servants helping her.

"Gomen, Koishii," he said, in a truly apologetic tone. Sachi looked a bit sorry for being so angry, and patted him on the shoulder as she passed him, to take a seat.

Ami watched this all with a soft smile, which grew wider as Kenshin sat down next to her.

"You'll have to tell us whether the soup is good or not," he said, smiling at her. "We need good critics, otherwise we'll never improve, isn't that so?"

"Hai!" she beamed. "But you know...it'll definately taste good."

"Really," said Kenshin, smiling.

"Because it's made by you," Ami said clearly, unabashed. Kenshin oro'ed softly.

Because it's made by you-

A small smile graced his lips, as he slowly spooned some soup into a bowl for Ami.

~*~

A sudden movement from the trees; blackbirds suddenly cried out loudly and flew up noisily, hastening to another safe haven. Ami looked up at them from the base of the tree, smiling a little wistfully.

"Chiyaaaa," she cried softly to them, a feeble imitation of their cries. "Chyaaa!"

She could see them across the grass, swooping around the branches of the new tree. She smiled after them, feeling a little sorry for disturbing them. All she had wanted was to get close to watch them...

However, now the tree was all her's.

She plopped down against the roots, choosing a spot that was covered with plants and not too dirty. She was still wearing a loaned kimono, so she didn't want to get it too soiled. She unsheathed her carving knife, which she had gotten from her bag earlier, and pulled a selective piece of wood towards her, studying it. She held it in front of her, closing one eye, trying to decide where to start.

Choosing a spot, she began to whittle the outside. She was planning to make another slingshot. As she whittled, half of her brain focused on the task, the other wandering, replaying choice memories.

Sachi-san showed me the garden today.

She paused, moving her thumb lower, away from the nearing blade.

I told her about my hobby. She said I could use anything I find here, to make things.

More birds were chirping, and the sun was shining through the trees in such a beautiful way...

Anything at all here. She's very kind.

At this, she paused, leaning back against the base of the tree, letting her hands fall to the ground, knife in one hand, wood in the other.

We don't know whether we're leaving today, Kenshin and I. I know it's rude to intrude...but I'm hoping...we can stay longer.

She stared into space, the slight breeze weaving her hair gently. It was a really beautiful day...

I want to make something for Sachi-san. A gift. Of course, it'll be for both of them. Domon and Sachi.

It was cool, almost too warm for late winter...Spring must be sooner than she thought.

Kenshin seems happy here...doesn't he want to stay?

Images of Kenshin smiling since their arrival flashed through her mind like a slide show.

What is he looking for?

Nothing.

Then surely, we can relax a little while...

Ami snorted softly at this.

Baka. We've only been traveling for a few days, that's nothing to relax from.

Well, Kenshin's been wandering for a long time. He could use rest.

She knew she was just making up excuses for herself, and tried not to care. She started to stroke a clump of grass absentmindedly, taking care not to pull it out completely.

How long has he been traveling? He doesn't tell me...

Hiro never told me anything either.

"Oh, stop," she mumbled, reaching to pinch herself slightly.

....

......

...

I've reached another decision, Kenshin.

I can think about you all day, but night is for Hiro.

That way, it'll be half even!

In part of her mind, Ami knew her conclusion was strange and wouldn't solve anything, and that even though she knew this, she had still made Kenshin as "day", because day seemed longer to her, so she could think of Kenshin more, because truthfully, that was whom she was fixtated upon. Ami was still a child in some ways, and so, her childish reasoning ought to be pardoned.

~*~

...I was really bold today, wasn't I, Kenshin?

But the soup did taste good. I told you so, didn't I.

But I said that to you, because right now it's day.

...And Hiro isn't here.

I really wonder where he is, Kenshin. He ain't dead.

She pulled up the clump of grass, staring at it sourly, remembering her earlier thoughts not to pull it out. She sighed and threw it away, pursing her lips.

Course he ain't dead, she scowled, using incorrect grammar to show her frustration.

If you knew him, you'd know that he can't die. It's impossible.

Just like I can't be struck by a bolt of lightning right now.

At this, she craned her neck up to look at the sky. Still blue. She looked back down.

Someday...maybe we'll find each other. Actually, I'm not so sure of that as much as I am of him being alive. Which is of course, true.

It's sad, Kenshin.

Because I think...

If you and Hiro met...

Maybe you wouldn't get along so well.

She seized the wood and knife again, noticing the small cut on her finger that she had left unbandaged.

He's taught me lots of things, Hiro, she said silently, now talking to him, ignoring her earlier resolution.

I'm not sure what...but I really feel good around him.

It's like he taught me to be happy. But that's too strange, isn't it, Hiro?

....

I like to see him smile. He's really beautiful that way.

Images of Kenshin flooding her mind once more...

I hope...I wish he'd smile like that forever. Because that would mean that he's really happy. And I think he deserves to be happy forever.

For you, Hiro...

I'm not sure what to wish.

Wishing you happiness, seems strange...

I'm sorry. I don't know why.

But for you, it seems more realistic to wish you peace, so that you'd never be bothered.

Would you like that, Hiro?

Maybe you're not being bothered now.

Is that why you haven't found me yet, Hiro?

Maybe you're really happy...peaceful..where you are now.

Is that why you're staying where you are now?

Maybe you've fallen in love. Excuse me, Hiro, but I couldn't help but laugh. It seems so funny to imagine you like that, Hiro.

Have you ever done that?

If I see you again, would you mind me asking?

I'll trade you a secret for a secret.

How is that?

~*~

Do you love anyone, Hiro?

And you'll probably just stare at me. Maybe you'll think I'm crazy. Is that what you're thinking in there??

~I smile when I think of you thinking I'm crazy. Isn't that strange?~

Did you ever love anyone, Hiro?

A girl?

Maybe now you'd nod your head, or just keep staring.

If you did keep staring, I'd say...

Would you tell me who you've fallen in love with if I told you who I fell in love with?

And then you'd give me a deeper stare, because even though you never said it, I know sometimes you can get really protective.

He's really wonderful, Hiro, I'd say, trying to get that look off of your face.

But then maybe you'd still keep looking at me that way.

But Hiro!

Are you listening, Hiro?

Hiro?

I think...

....I'm not sure..how to describe it...I mean...

Well, what is love, anyway? Really?

Do you know, Hiro?

Please tell me.

....

It's too stupid.

I mean, maybe I'm mistaken. Maybe the weird feeling I get whenever he's around is some other feeling...because when he is there, I feel like I should impress him...

I mean, he's so brilliant...and I'm just me.

I don't want him to know about this....it might be strange for him.

Like I said...I'm just me.

So don't tell!

And you'll nod...

...And I'll start again...

...to try and explain...

But Hiro! I don't even know! You have to tell me!

~All the warm smiles he's ever sent me...~

~When he calls me "chan", I feel indescribably pleased...~

It's like he taught me to be happy.

A different happy from before.

So Hiro? What is this?

~*~

"Kenshin...," says Ami as he draws near. She smiles up at him, Kenshin smiling too.

"You're making something, Ami?"

"Hai. Slingshot."

She holds it up. It's barely taking shape.

"I see. Do you mind if I sit down?"

"Of course not!" she scoots a bit towards the side, though there is no need.

His eyes sweep from her to the small scattered pieces of wood at the ground around her.

"You've been busy," he states, smiling at her. She smiles back, then looks to the ground in front of her.

They sit there for a while in silence, enjoying the day while wondering what the other was thinking at the same time. Finally, Ami glances up at him curiously, and Kenshin adopts a light Rurouni smile.

"I was wondering, if you wanted to stay here another day."

She watched his face for a moment, looking slightly woeful. She glanced down to the wood in her lap, thinking. Kenshin patiently waited.

"You....you don't like it here?"

"It's peaceful," Kenshin admitted.

"You want to go somewhere?"

"Not particularly," said Kenshin, feeling foolish. Wasn't he the one who asked the question?

"I wouldn't mind staying...." Ami said quietly. "But if you feel any urge to leave, I'll gladly come too."

"Leaving it up to me, then," Kenshin sighed. And then a wistful smile passed over his features. A sad smile. Ami noticed it immidietly, and tried to contain her curiosity. But Kenshin seemed to be able to tell. He turned to her, giving her a look that encouraged her to speak.

"What is it?" Ami asked tentatively. Kenshin smiled, and put a hand on her head.

"That just then...reminded me of another time, when I was making another decision with someone. An important decision. I tried to let that someone make the decision, but she turned it to me instead, just like how you did just now."

Ami's face turned a light pink, feeling Kenshin's hand on top of her head, and tried to process Kenshin's words.

She?

Who? What's her name, Ami wanted to ask, but something in Kenshin's eyes helped her resolve not to inquire any further.

"Souka," she chirped instead, giving him a playful smile.

"So you made the decision. What do you decide now?"

"Hmph," sighed Kenshin, leaning back against the tree, running a hand through his hair with his other hand.

"Difficult," he said, not quite making it a statement or a question.

Not really....

"I feel sorry for you," said Ami, closing her eyes and putting on a look of indifference, tilting her head slightly away from him. "So let's shift the decision to what Sachi-san and Domon-san say about the idea of us leaving."

She smiled up at him, Kenshin giving a chuckle. "You're tricky."

"Not really...."

"Not really," Kenshin repeated. He stroked her head a last time then stood up.

She watched him as he brushed off his hakama and wondered more about the small part of his history he had just revealed to her.

What decision? Who is she? What was she to you?

Don't you know you can tell me anything, Kenshin?

I'd never breathe a word.

It reminded her of something. Then, Kenshin's voice echoed in her mind.

"It's all right. You can ask me anything."

He said that....right before she asked if she could stay with him. Seemed so long ago...

But in other ways, not so long. If Ami had been with Kenshin long, wouldn't she have been able to predict what he wanted?

Now she was alone, under the tree. Alone with her churning thoughts, wood, and knife.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Author's Notes:

I'm so tired....sorry this took so long to put up! I just couldn't end it! When I tried to write up an event that could end the chapter, it just turned into something more, making it longer, and etc. ~_~'

Lot's of revising, too. Sorta unsatisfied with it. But, nothing new has been happening, so I want to post it just to get some reviews so I'll have something nice to read. ^^'

Oh yeah, and I was also wondering, does the length ever bother anyone? At all? Like, is it too long? Because now I have installed Microsoft Word on my laptop (I've been accessing it elsewhere) I see that this one chapter is….about 11 pages long. 0_o'' So let me know!

(If the review replies scare you, it's because I'm bored, people. Deadly bored! So I write weird things so I won't be bored anymore!! ^^ *hops away*)

Replies:

Haruko: ?? Eh? Nu-uh! Nope! Too bad for Ami-chan! ^^' I mean, who wouldn't want to get paired up with Kenshin?...ergh...I'll shut up now. ^^' If it was KXA, would it scare you? :P

EEevee: *cheers* I'm glad I seem to succeed at making all of my made up characters likeable. ^_^ If they were all annoying...heh. How sad that would be. I barely help out in the kitchen. 0_o'' Cuz I have "better" things to do. (Going on the computer. -_-'). When I do, I just help make jiao zi (potstickers).

baka: Thank you for the lovely display of emoticons!!! I liked looking at them...a girl who giggles and points at a row of emoticons...is something wrong with me or what?? lol

Rach-Chan: Hi-hi! Update is coming right at ya! In fact, it's so close, it hit your computer. 0_o'' Whoops.

AnimeAmba: I liked writing that part. It's interesting...I just write and then suddenly this random thing comes out, and that random thing was Ami getting startled by Kenshin and getting a cut! I liked how it turned out. ^_^' Yeah, I get scared when I think of Kenshin drinking...and he actually did, in his Battousai days. Yikes.

Me: ACK! Drinking is bad for you! You could crash! *grabs his sake cup and smashes it*

Kenshin: ?!?!?

Me: No drink & drive!!

Kenshin: ?!?!?!

MissBehavin: Hi....^^' Cool to see you here...I really love your Meiji Journal fic, it's really ingenious, the idea. And... *pumps fist* Another score for Ami-chan! I'm so glad you like her. Yes. Evil People. They're so very...evil. 0_0 My Evil People...are actually Evil Things. *Boots homework into trash* @_@ Do I make sense? heh.

the sacred night: Yes, worshipping is a very good word to describe how she feels about him. ^^' Well, Ami sort of knew it was reversed, cause the time when Kenshin saved her she saw that it was dull, but she only just remembered after she got cut. And she never really examined it, so... :P