Disclaimer: I DO own Rurouni Kenshin!! I have Volumes 1,3,& 5 in my closet!

Author's Notes: This was absoloutely terrible. I haven't updated for over 1/2 a year. I am totally unworthy. Most of the people who were constant reviewers before... I can't really tell, of course, but I can guess you've moved on to bigger and better things... (have you left the fanfiction realm?). And those that are still here, don't force yourselves to read if you've lost interest. It was all my fault.

I only started writing this chapter again when I really considered leaving it dead. I couldn't bear to do that, so I started writing again. More on this is at my profile page, I'm taking up too much space here. This is already about 8 pages long on m. word, with a font of 10. I wanted to do that and make the chapter sort of like "Days: Umbrella" so that you'd get into the whole Ami-Kenshin atmosphere/relationship again. Now I wonder if that was a bad idea, making it that long... if it is, you can always read part of it now, and the rest later.

Well, I hope you can enjoy, anyway. (sigh)

Around Kyoto

Kenshin was the most special thing in the world to her. She didn't question her worship of him; she wasn't even conscious that she was. All that she knew and felt was that Kenshin was the center of everything. He was the best and deserved the best; she would never make trouble for him and would always obey him diligently.

But it confused Ami sometimes, too. On some days, she didn't know if she was affected by the weather, or just happened to be in a good mood; she would be out going, loud, full of grins and compliments and letting Kenshin know that she was happy, happy to be with him. And on others, she was quiet and brooding, admiring him in her own gentle way. And then, at those rare, certain times, she would feel unsatisfied, as if there were something missing. But what was it? Was it her brother, Hiro, who was hopefully resting peacefully somewhere far across the country? Was it the constant wandering?

If it were the last, she'd have to get used to it, she thought. If Kenshin wanted to keep going, so would she. This was what he wanted to do. Or was it?

"You never get tired of it, wandering?" she finally asked one day, hesitating because she was afraid he'd think that she was tired of it, even if she was, a few times.

He looked at her. They were seated under the shade of a huge tree. "It's not a question of how I feel about it. It's something I have to do. To travel from place to place, meeting the people, seeing how they live their lives and their sufferings… to try, if I can, to ease their burdens. It's what I've been wanting to do since I was a child."

Ami could barely nod, her heart ablaze with compassion. He had spoken with a final tone, with a tinge of sadness. And he was pure, so heroic and noble. It was an admirable life's work, long and hard and lonesome. That was why she was going to help him as much as she could. It was a long answer, to her seemingly simple question, but she was glad, for every thought or feeling revealed from him let him be more known to her, yet more mysterious at the same time.

--

To help people, to let them live out their lives peacefully. It's what I've wanted to do since I was a child, studying under Shishou. I tried to make it a reality by participating in the Bakumatsu, by fighting for the commoner's happiness. But I stole more than what was given in the end. I stole Tomoe's happiness, and countless others. Living those months with her showed me what to fight for; that peace… I thought I found the answer, but her death changed that. I found the answer: then why am I still searching? A small girl's happiness, Ami's happiness. Is that not something to fight for? Why do I wander, Ami-chan? I'm still searching.

I'm sorry for dragging you needlessly with me. But it's what you want, isn't it…? Kenshin looked down at her, curled up at his side, the quarter moon hidden above them. She usually did not sleep so close to him, but they had sat exceptionally close together, and she had eased down and slept where she was. It was also a cool night. He tugged the kimono Ami was using as a blanket higher, up to her chin, the back of his hand touching her cheek. She stirred and curled more tightly around herself.

Kenshin smiled. A waste of a perfectly good kimono robe… we could have sold it to get something more practical, but a gift from good friends should not be disregarded so easily… He sobered. The Kamashi family would have gladly taken Ami in, he knew. It had broken Sachi's heart, her inability to have children worsening the matter. The well-meaning couple could take in an orphan, but it wouldn't be the same as having Ami…

The rurouni tilted his head back against the tree that they were against, running his fingers idly through Ami's long dark hair. How long has it been? A few months now… but somehow, it feels like more. Is it like that for her too? But Ami is young, and has her whole life waiting for her… and at that time of her life, she certainly won't be still wandering around with me… She'll look back one day at this small portion of her childhood and recall fond memories…

Yes, he knew, she couldn't stay with him forever. The thought troubled him both ways: when she would leave, and how long she would stay with him. He couldn't keep her forever. It wasn't right. She would grow, mature… and maybe… But it would be hard for her to fall in love and settle down if we keep moving. I can't keep her. It hurt him, but he knew what he needed to do. But for now, they could be together. She was only 10… quite a few more years before being considered a young woman. And a year is a very long time… and all this has happened only in a month's span…just a month… Which led his tired thoughts back into the cycle all over again, until he finally fell asleep, his hand resting on the girl's shoulder.

--

When Ami awoke, she kept her eyes tightly squeezed shut, because something was crawling across her shoulder. It wasn't Kenshin's hand, for sure, which she had felt and seen when she woke up briefly in the middle of the night. There had been crickets chirping, and she had watched him breathe for a while, his head bowed, his chin almost touching his chest. She had gone back to sleep with warm feelings in her chest, but not before, with much hesitancy, turning her head slightly to rub her cheek against his arm, and then pressing her lips timidly against his wrist, not even herself knowing what she was doing. No, the tingling on her shoulder was not Kenshin's hand, because she could hear him up and awake above her.

She curled into a ball slowly, and then in one quick movement, sprang up and batted away whatever was on her shoulder with a small squeal. A spider clung to her hand by its web but quickly dislodged itself and crept away over the leaves and grass on the ground.

"Oro?"

Ami looked up from the ground, cheeks pink. Her eyes couldn't help but flicker down to his left wrist in remembrance of how she had rubbed against it in the darkness of the night, like a cat against a petting hand. "K-kuno," she stuttered, her first words of the morning. She pointed in the general direction where it had been headed, but it was long gone.

"Ah," he said, understanding, and handed her some breakfast. He didn't tell her, but he had spotted a few bugs crawling upon her before once or twice while she slept; it was something that couldn't be avoided when sleeping on the ground. He had brushed them off of her then, and now he kept in mind to keep doing so.

He watched Ami eat her food with one hand and squish her folded kimono robe into her pack with the other. He was already set to go, but didn't mind to wait at all. He watched her sling the pack over her shoulder and shift, reaching up into the air with her arms, stretching till she was standing on her toes. The crushed grass underneath her sandals rose up feebly and she stepped to the side, spinning a little, watching him expectantly to start. Kenshin smiled a little at this. He walked over past the grass to the borderline of path and wildlife and stepped over onto the road. Then he began to walk, hearing the familiar sound of the scuffing of his sandals against the dirt and Ami's following.

There was one place that he steered clear from in all his years of traveling. It was a large city, where he had spent at least six years of his life. Kenshin didn't want to say that he was afraid of the place, but going back would bring back memories he had tried to put behind him, and maybe even familiar faces. He wouldn't want to bump into his shishou, and also… it was the burial place of his wife.

The city was Kyoto. They were coming closer to it with every step.

--

"Ami-chan." His voice was low and gentle.

She finished taking her steps and then stopped and turned around to look at him, ignoring the other people passing by. The road had gotten wider and smoother, with more travelers. It must lead to a popular city, she had guessed. And as more and more people passed them, Ami began to walk side by side with Kenshin for security. She hadn't sensed anything right away, but after quite a while she realized that Kenshin didn't seem to be his usual self. He wasn't holding himself up right, but bowing his head a little so that his hair fell and covered his face.

Now that he spoke to her, she looked at him, worried with concern. "Yes?"

"I… What do you say about taking the mountain route?"

She tugged on her hair uncertainly, shifting, twirling it around her finger. "A mountain route?" Where? Why? She left those words unsaid, not wanting to pester him with questions, choosing to let him reveal whatever he wanted. She became attentive and stood still when he laid a hand on her shoulder, leaning to her ear and speaking softly.

"There's a city ahead that I would not like to return to. I'm almost certain that any confrontation there would not be a good one." He stood up straighter now, looking past her to where the said city laid, his eyes narrowing seriously, calculating. A puff of air escaped his lips and he relaxed, the tension in his gaze diminishing, and he turned back to look her straight in the eyes. Ami made sure not to turn away in embarrassment and met his stare in a serious manner. "If you don't mind, I'd like to take the mountain pass around Kyoto."

Kyoto! Ami did not know much, but she recognized the name of the great city that used to be the capital of Japan, and how the capital had changed to another city, Edo, she tried to remember. She didn't care much about that; her mind immediately focused on the questions that centered directly on Kenshin. Kyoto? What did Kenshin have to do with Kyoto? Why doesn't he like Kyoto? He's been there before, for how long? The questions stacked upon each other rapidly, but on the outside, she answered earnestly, "I don't mind taking the mountain pass. I don't want to go anywhere you don't like."

He smiled lightly at her answer and patted her on the head. Ami tilted her head back to look at him, and his hand slid off. She smiled at him too, pleased that she had made him happy. They started walking again, on the same road, and Ami supposed the mountain pass must be further ahead. But…

When they came to the crossroads, and Kenshin led her down another trail, curiosity and regret entered Ami's heart. Kenshin knows this area… and he doesn't want to go back to Kyoto. Why is he avoiding it? What happened there? Why would anyone confront him there? I want to know… I want to go to Kyoto. I want to find out. Someday.

That someday, she would go to Kyoto by herself. She would ask around, and find out her answers. She'd find out all the answers she needed to know, and then she'd show Kenshin that he shouldn't have worried about telling her them at all. She could take anything he told her. She would take in all the secrets and sins and never breathe a word, not ever. This vision made her breath quicken, her hands wringing together as she followed him up the mountain pass. Kenshin can trust me. I'm the only one Kenshin can trust, I'm the best.

I want to know everything about him. Everything. Only me. His.

That someday was not today. But now that Ami had it all planned, it made it easier to walk away from Kyoto, the place of Kenshin's past. If only she had been with him then. If only she had been with him her entire life. She would have known everything about him.

I'm going to, Ami promised herself. I'll know it all someday. Not now, but someday.

His red hair, the cross-shaped scar. These were the things that pointed out the Hitokiri Battousai, and unfortunately, they were always out in the open. Another sign would be his sword skills, but he didn't show them unless there was trouble. He remembered the day they met Domon and how the thief had knocked aside people, including Ami. He remembered her cry of surprise. He had put a hand against her back quickly, pushing her up straight again, taking less than a second and then he was off and halted the thief in his tracks with his sword. And then Ami… oh, what had she said?

"You're fast!"

He had used speed that was said to match a god's, and so her comment, so full of naïveté, made Kenshin smile. He had displayed his "powers" out in the open, and if a skilled warrior had seen, he would have know that Kenshin was not as low as he seemed. Kenshin did not bother to tone down his skills, excluding the sakabatou. He didn't see any point in it; he had wanted to learn swordsmanship because he wanted to use that power to help others. Why deform those skills when they were called out to help? So yes, he used his speed to stop something as trivial as a thief, though he would have gone much faster if it had been a real opponent. However, "real opponents", fighters from the Bakumatsu like the Shinsen-gumi, for example, were rare, but the hate for Battousai was common enough to be careful.

His deep thoughts receded and he heard the footsteps of the girl behind him more clearly. He wondered if Ami had ever heard of Battousai. He hoped not. The stories they told about him were exaggerated, turning him into a demon. But the killing part was true enough. So many men had died by his sword, and for quite a time until Tomoe came, they hadn't really played upon his conscience, the weight of his actions hidden inside and nameless.

Ami thought he was pure. He knew enough to know that. He wasn't sure what would be worse; to let the pure, light image of him in her remain, or to shatter it with the truth. He didn't want to tell her. Maybe, in time, he'd be able to rise up to that furnished image of himself, and it would at least become partly true. For truth, he was no longer Battousai. He was rurouni, and she along with him.

Wandering does get a little tiring… but she gives me something to focus on. The burden is a little lifted, with her presence…

He turned on impulse to look at her, smiling. She had been staring at him; she blinked, a blush spreading over her face but she didn't lose time in smiling happily back at him.

"Let's… you want to take a break?"

They had been walking upwards; it was a trail that led into the mountains, after all.

"That sounds good," Kenshin said. He smiled faintly at her and led her off the road to search for a good spot.

They ended up staying at the spot for overnight. They found a nice area where they rested, Ami exploring. When light fell, she took out the pot that she had bought from the previous town. She allowed herself to remember a little of the visit.

I was really worried… but it all worked out fine, anyway. Kenshin's okay… and he hasn't changed to being broody even though we're near Kyoto. It's all good…

Her fingers trailed around the pot's interior, feeling the cool smooth metal. She still hadn't done anything with it yet. She breathed in deeply, knocking the pot's base gently against the ground. There was a small clanging sound as it struck against a rock.

She had nothing to put in it…

I'm so foolish. It was just a half-baked idea…

But the image came back to her, enticing. What if she woke before him, vegetables in, water boiling, and he woke to the aroma of a good soup? He'd rise, blinking away sleep… what if he yawned? A giggle escaped her and she smiled softly, fond of the made-up scenario. Yes, he would rise, and she'd smile at him, still stirring.

"Almost done," she said to him, grinning fondly. "One second!"

Suddenly, they were indoors. The wood used in the foundation was dark and light brown, mix matched, showing that it came from different sources of trees. Light shown through the open window, particles of dust visible. It half reminded her of a home from long ago, a small shack, really… this house was much finer and larger, just right for its two occupants.

Ami ran to the cupboards and took some bowls and chopsticks out. The bowls had lovely designs, like the wares she had seen in merchants' stalls. The chopsticks were wooden and smooth, not a splinter sticking out anywhere. They were quite nice- she must have made them. Yes, she did, and Kenshin knew it, and as he received his set from her he smiled.

Holding her sleeve back with one hand, she ladled out the steaming soup into his bowl professionally, not spilling a precious drop.

"Here," she said. He took the bowl into his hands, it warming him. She suddenly wondered whether his fingers were cold.

"It's a nice day today, right?" she asked cautiously.

"It is," he said pleasantly, giving his head a little shake to toss back his high ponytail. The red strands had fallen forward. She didn't say anything more but sighed, watching him contentedly. She scanned his face with her light eyes, loving him and every feature.

It's like this: we just live here together. I do all the normal chores that a girl does, but Kenshin likes to help me because that's the way he is. I don't want him to, though. He should go out and enjoy himself. I'll make the house clean. I'll cook for him. I'll take care of everything for him, like a servant. Like some sort of housewife-

Her eyes widened and the pot dropped from her hand. She had been in the same stooped over position since the daydream started, but now she sat on the ground, scrunching up, her arms around her knees. I…

She was suddenly, irationallyscared of herself. Without knowing why, she struggled to remember her past. It frightened her even more that for a while still, because for a moment all she could think of was Kenshin, but she finally returned to the time before him, with her brother. Older, tall, with dark brown hair that appeared light in the sunshine. Hiro, with the cool blue eyes.

"Hiro," she whimpered. She said it over and over to remember what it felt like to say his name.

Hiro! Look at me!

Hiro, over here! Do you see?

Hiro, do you think…

"Hiro, you were the best brother," she said in a hushed voice.

You took care of me. I love you.

But Hiro had been like a shadow. He was always there for her, but she had been oblivious, hadn't she? Playing in the woods, dancing around the small garden out front. They hadn't talked about anything like their parents, the world… but he answered her questions. He taught her how to grow plants. He didn't yell or lay a hand on her when she did something wrong, but showed her again with patience, this time holding her hand and guiding her step by step.

Maybe it wasn't patience… maybe he just felt nothing, at all. What had been wrong with him? Up until she had met Kenshin, she hadn't thought there was anything different about him. Hiro was Hiro, and Ami was Ami. That's how it is, how it still is. It was because of Kenshin, wonderful, brilliant Kenshin, that she started to doubt. She couldn't bear to compare the two who had taken cared of her.

They were so different…

They would've gotten along, she was sure. Not friends, but not enemies. Hiro had no enemies. It was just him and her…

Wrong.

She remembered fire. She remembered a wooden toy animal burning up. She remembered yells and hateful curses. She remembered Takaru Konure. An old woman, who had been her closest neighbor back then, whom she met after Hiro had gone away, to war.

Hiro had made enemies. Because they couldn't get to him, they came after Ami and burned down her house. But Hiro was safe, somewhere. Those people, that mother and son… they were just so angry, they had to say that. They had to think that Hiro was dead, even though he wasn't.

And then suddenly, she knew. She understood, and she couldn't believe how stupid she had been.

Kenshin had been in the war. He carried a sword. Even on Hiro, Ami had never seen a weapon like that.

Because it was war, Kenshin had killed people. And because of that, he had made enemies, just like her brother had, even though it wasn't his fault, it was only war…

Why was there war?

Ami wished she could've asked Hiro that, before their final good-bye… How did it start? Why did it start? Why would anyone want to start a killing spree like that? She would've asked him so many questions that he couldn't have left, he had to spend so much time answering them all…

She suddenly couldn't stand it anymore. She had to stop thinking. Hiro was safe somewhere. The only thing important to remember was the conclusion, why Kenshin didn't want to, couldn't go to Kyoto.

He killed people, and he made enemies. People want… how could they want to harm him…? Look at him! He's so…

She grasped the pot firmly and stood up tall. It was dark now. The moon was high. Its whiteness strengthened her somehow.

"Kenshin," she breathed, and began to walk back towards camp.

I won't ever go to Kyoto. I don't want to go to a stinky city that wants to hurt Kenshin. But then, maybe I will… I'll get back at them.

She snorted, her dislike growing. All the thoughts she had had during the last quarter of an hour faded into this, a mere prejudice against Kyoto. When she stepped into camp, the fire was burning and Kenshin got to his feet. He had been resting against a tree trunk.

"Where were you?" he asked.

She smiled abashedly, shrugging a little, swinging her arms back and forth, the pot obvious in her hand. "I thought about making you something. But we don't really have anything…"

Kenshin smiled, a little confused. "That's right. I wasn't sure when you wanted to use that thing. But I'm sure we can get vegetables, even on this trail."

We're not too high up. Kyoto must have some food sources, farms, outside the city. There are those, and food vendors, perhaps.

He sighed.

"Mm?" she asked, fidgeting. She was regaining her old shyness. He smiled at that.

"I was thinking, we could always resort to mushrooms," he said jokingly.

"Mushroom soup." She said thoughtfully. She made a face. "Mushrooms aren't too tasty. It won't taste too good."

He laughed, and she blushed faintly.

She shoved the pot back into her pack and came to sit down next to him. They ate some rice balls, hard due to being cold, and then she got out her kimono robes to sleep upon and use as blankets. He watched her fall asleep. When her breathing was soft and steady, he unsheathed his sakabatou.

Kyoto… is bringing up memories, for me. Not all of them are about the dark alleys with blood.

He sheathed the sword with a short click. I'm remembering my Shishou, and how it was to live with him on the mountainside. He lived on one of the mountains surrounding Kyoto, but it's not this one. With luck, I won't run in to him unless he suddenly migrated over here…

His face turned sour, imagining what his Shishou would do if he found him and Ami. It would be awful for both him and the girl. Hiko picked on him relentlessly, and Ami would be shocked. Kenshin's head nodded to the side and he supported it with his hand, elbow resting on his drawn up knee. He could only imagine how Ami would respond to him being called a baka deshi. A wry grin spread upon his face at the thought, but it went as quickly as it came.

Shishou definitely knows what happened during the Bakumatsu. The famed Battousai could be none other than his baka deshi, using the Hiten Mitsurugi for assigned murders, a pawn, just like he said I would be. He knew all, in the end. If I had done what he said and stayed and finished out my training… now I can't even be called a Hiten Mitsurugi master, though I don't want no less deserve the title after what I've done with the style...

He let the sword prop up against his shoulder and slowly fell asleep, seeing the flickering flames through his closing eyes and the form next to it that was Ami.

A/N:

Yes, it was long and terrible.I don't know whether I'll be able to update again after this soon, or whether I'll fall back into a long period of not updating again. But I know I still want to finish the story... I wanted to say thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter, though. It was great to see nice comments like that, though I pretty much failed everyone in the end. See ya, hopefully.