Heartbroken Christmas

Author: Leta McGotor

Lisa: I like it when people smile and maybe you can smile again now. It's always a nice gesture and I take it as something like a compliment. Thank you for your review and I wish you a happy new year.

Holly: Like you can see, yes, I'm going to update and this chapter will not be the last one. I hope you will read and review the others, too, and I also hope you have a happy new year.

MiniNerva: Thank you for your review. Well, I characterized them this way, because there are so many outside, who forgot that even a Severus Snape and a Minerva McGongall are humans. And so, of course, they have their own joys and sorrows, too. I'm glad you like it this way and hope you continue reading and reviewing. I wish you a happy new year.

To all the others: I wish you a happy new year, too.

Chapter 3: Farewell

"Minerva, what are you doing there?" asked an utterly bewildered Albus Dumbledore.

"I pack my belongings, you see." Minerva snapped back and rolled her eyes when Albus only looked more and more confused.

"But why?"

"I go to my family like every year. You can't have forgotten that, Albus."

"No, but tomorrow was the day…"

"I decided that it's best to go today." She growled. Albus began to chuckle.

"But the little picture from breakfast can't be the reason, can it? I mean it was a very… suprising picture, indeed, but it was very… likable."

"Do you think so?" She snapped. She hadn't liked the photo, not in the least. How could this woman have dared even to think of such a… a prank? "It's enough, Albus. I'll go to my family this instant but now, please, let me finish. My train goes in 15 minutes."

"Oh, you use the train?"

"Yes, Albus, like every year. You know there are a lot of muggles around them and I don't want to frighten them. I always took the train."

"But this year there is much snow outside and maybe the train will not reach the village. You know there is this great valley and you could get stuck in it."

"Perhaps but only perhaps. And then I have my wand, haven't I?"

"Surely, but don't forget that your magic can be blocked in a valley like that and with so much snow around."

"Albus. No matter how much snow there was, my magic was never blocked. That is something like a fairy tale. I have never experienced that this is possible."

"But I have and it is not enjoyful. Don't you think it is maybe better just to apperate?"

"No and now let me. I have to catch my train." With those words she left her rooms and hurried down the stairs to catch her train in Hogsmead. Albus only shrugged but he felt somewhere deep in his stomach that it wasn't good to let her go, something that said him to be very careful with her decision.

In another room in the castle there was another figure in a disturbed mood. But in contrast to Minerva and to his usual mood, Severus Snape was something like a happy man. Never in his life he had liked this holiday so much like this year. He couldn't believe it on his own. There had so much happened and there was still so much happening.

When he had kissed Minerva McGonagall yesterday, he hadn't known what to say afterwards. He couldn't explain to her what and why he had done it, because he couldn't explain it to himself. This strange feeling in his stomach and in his legs, the dizzyness that came that suddenly and the rising temperature around him when he had looked in her eyes. Surely he had felt such things before but not all together and not that strong. Similar feelings had been far too weak to even be noticed as such ones and they had never brought him in such a situation – a situation, where he wanted to do something.

But at the moment Severus didn't know what to do and so he was pacing back and forth in his office and from time to time he sat down and looked into the fire to think things over. There were a many things, which were on his mind, mostly questions. Were those strange feelings love? Was he really able to love someone? Did she love him back? This was one of the questions which plagued him most. Could a woman, as one as Minerva was, really love someone like him? And if it was really possible, had he destroyed it with his flight? Was there the possibility of that wonder that could only happen at Christmas?

Hours came and went and Severus neither knew what to do nor did he found an aswer for his questions. Maybe it would help when he brewed something, maybe it would calm his nerves down. So he came to his feet and started a comlicated potion, that bewitched the senses and made all around oneself as wonderful as anything could be.

It was evening again and Severus, who had just finished his potion, entered the Great Hall. He was hungry, because the whole day he hadn't eaten anything and therefore he was nearly starving. Another reason why he went into the Great Hall comparingly early was that he hoped to meet Minerva there and to tell her what he really had felt the evening before.

When he went along the Entrance Hall he looked automatically at the place where the mistletoe hung the evening before. But now there was an emty space and no trace of it. Why would someone take the mistletoe away? Severus shrugged. He would ask Albus about that, because Albus was the one who always knew everything. So Severus went into the Great Hall for dinner.

Only Professors Flitwick and Sinistra were seated at the table yet. Severus sat down without even glancing in their direction. Nevertheless he felt their gazes linger on him and he knew exactly why. The photo at breakfast had shocked him. He hadn't known that someone had seen them. That was a very bad point in his opinion. But the evident and that the person was Xiomara Hooch made it all even worse. Severus had taken the little picture with him at breakfast. No one else should see it and now he had it always with him. He would protect this little picture, where it held so much hope in it.

After several minutes other teachers came into the hall and they all looked curiously at Severus. He ignored their gazes and looked up at the ceiling. It was snowing non-stop and he wondered if there was a chance to get out of the castle. Then Albus Dumbledore entered as the last one the Great Hall. He sat down and all started eating. Severus wondered. Normally they would wait until all were seated but now it was clearly visible that Minerva was missing. So Severus cleared his throat and whispered to Albus:

"Where is Minerva? I have something to discuss with her."

"Minerva is not here anymore. She caught the train this morning and is now on her way to her family. I'm afraid whatever it is you have to tell her, it has to wait. I hope it's nothing very important." In Severus' opinion it was very important but he didn't tell this Albus and only leaned back. He knew she wanted to her family like every year but normally she would not go until the next morning. Why had she gone today and not tomorrow? Was it because of him? Had he done something wrong? It was his fault, he knew it, and he had to speak with her. Silently Severus decided to follow her the other day. He had to speak with her, he had to tell her about his feelings, he had to see her – he simply had to.

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