Chapter Two: Ignored Feelings Don't Just Go Away
Lily's POV
Now that we had met Eric, Parker felt more comfortable going around school with him. They were now completely open about the whole relationship thing. Eric was walking her to class, Parker would sit with him and his friends at lunch, and they'd call each other's cells anytime they didn't have a moment to see each other.
That whole time I was trying to fight down this strange feeling in the pit of my stomach.
'You do not have a thing for him! This is just you being really happy for Parker! You do not have any feelings for Eric Johnston! I forbid you to have a thing for him! Those feelings are just mutual friendship feelings!' I thought to myself every time that feeling came up…which was every time I saw the two of them together.
I think that first week after meeting Eric was the hardest. The two of them seemed so happy and I couldn't find a reason for them not to me. Eric never demanded that Parker spend time away from No Man's Land, and he even came to rehearsals. Parker said that his friends were really nice to her, even if she was a grade behind them. For them, life was perfectly good.
My life however sucked out loud. I wouldn't let myself feel what I thought I was feeling, but the more I tried to ignore it, the bigger the feeling became.
By Thursday I felt like tearing out my own fingernails from frustration. It wasn't a fun day to begin with, it was raining and I had no ride. It was made worse when the first thing I saw when I walked in the door was the happy couple standing with Eric's friends. Eric had his arm around Parker's waist. I fought down the urge to shove my umbrella down someone's throat and opening it by storming off to the music room to play my guitar.
I decided that the best way to make the feelings (that I still say don't exist) go away was to not see anything to provoke it. I ran to my classes, keeping my eyes on the ground so I wouldn't see anyone in the hall. Unfortunately it meant that I also didn't see that the door to the physics room was closed…and then I realized so was the door to the nurses office.
I had the same lunch period as both of them. I tired the stay in the back stairwell plan, but that's where Audrey and her friends had decided to hang out.
My choices were to go to the library to be bothered by geeks or to the cafeteria where that stupid feeling would come back. To all those options I'd say that I'd rather slit my wrists, but I went to the cafeteria where I could at least see the guys.
Parker was sitting at a table with Eric and his friends. I saw Meagan sitting with Travis, Robbie, and Ray. I slumped down into a seat and Ray said, "Why, aren't we looking cheerful."
"Cork it Ray," I muttered. Everyone gave me questioning looks but didn't say anything. I let the conversation drift back to whatever they were talking about before I sat down and stared at the table.
The bell rang and I got up and shot out of the cafeteria to my locker. I was switching my books as quickly as I could but as I shut the locker door, I saw Eric and Parker down the hall. So much for the avoiding them plan.
Travis came up behind me and said, "They look happy. They're really good together."
"Yeah, they're the perfect couple," I said through clenched teeth.
I knew Travis was about to give me some of his famous words of wisdom, but I wasn't in the mood. I muttered that I had to go and stormed off to class. Unfortunately, I had Parker in that class.