Disclaimer: I DO own Rurouni Kenshin! I have Volumes 1,3, 5, 10, & 21 in my closet!
Whispers in the Night
It was a dare. As Ami lay in her bed, watching Kenshin sleep, she whispered the words out loud; "I swear to do anything for you. For Himura Kenshin… I will…"
She curled up under the blanket, her mind pestered with the thoughts that had been keeping her awake for the last hour. She couldn't get rid of the memory of Kenshin's expression when he had spotted her by the lake. He had been shocked, angry even. Never had Kenshin shown such disapproval in her.
Was it her? It had to be her. Why would Kenshin become so upset over perfume or her hair? It was irrational, and Kenshin was the wisest, most kind, caring person Ami knew. He didn't like such things on me, she thought to herself, saddened. I'm a rurouni. I shouldn't put on things like that. That's why…
That's why he had become upset. That's why his eyes had widened, why sweat appeared on his face, as if for an instant he had seen a ghost. Then he regained himself, and Ami clearly remembered his narrowed eyes, the movement of his mouth as he said a strangled, "No," to her, marching over to take those things off of her.
But no…Even as she told herself her own explanation was the truth, she could not push away the doubt, that there was some secret of Kenshin's that had made him act that way.
Hakubaikou… a scent for reminiscence…Perhaps it made him remember things… dreadful things. Death, loneliness, pain. But Ami could hardly imagine Kenshin lonely. He had her now, and she planned to stay with him forever. She would stay so long it would wipe away that lonely past, if it even existed.
Sadness.
She remembered the night Kenshin had woken her up, tossing and turning, moaning in his sleep. The memory struck a chord in her heart, and her eyes tingled but she did not cry. It occurred to Ami that she wanted to kiss Kenshin goodnight, but she could not possibly dare to. He would wake up, and their futons were too far apart for it to be called an accident, as if she had rolled over with her lips brushing against his skin.
"Good night," she sighed softly, and then she mouthed a phrase she could not say aloud to him yet, because she was waiting for the right time. She didn't need practice for it, because she was sure everything she did was a message of it, at least to Kenshin's perceiving mind.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
These days, when Ami was in Naoko's company, she noticed how tired the older woman was. There were lines around her eyes, and her smile was strained.
"We don't disturb you at night, do we, Shizuma-san?" she asked tentatively. Her eyes widened. "We don't- I don't snore at night, do I?"
Naoko let out a short burst of laughter. She smiled, but there was a scornful glint in her eye. "Even if you snored, Ami-chan, I wouldn't be able to hear it from my room."
"Yes," Ami said awkwardly, embaressed, but she did not look away. Her eyes locked with Naoko's, searching into them, confused about the scorn. For Naoko to feel that way, when Ami felt she had not earned it, made her nervous. Naoko was the one who broke the eye contact. She stared for a moment longer, and then turned and walked away, saying, "Excuse me."
"I think we're getting on Shizuma-san's nerves," Ami confessed to Kenshin one night, as they changed for bed. She chanced a peek, and saw Kenshin's frown.
"Does she try and get you alone, Ami-chan?"
"I… no. Not lately. She'll come up and stand by me, though."
Kenshin knelt down on his futon, and patted the space next to him. "Come here."
Ami obeyed, and following his gestures, drew back the bottom of her yukata to expose her bitten leg. Kenshin ran his finger down her leg where the bite had been. There was only a faint trace of it, now. Ami watched him silently, a faint blush on her cheeks, but feeling too comfortable at being by his side to be embarrassed.
"You're perfectly fine now," Kenshin murmured, patting her leg briefly to show that he was finished with his inspection. "For Naoko-dono to insist on more payment would be unnecessary. I'll bring up the subject with her sometime soon, and then we may start on our way."
"That's good," said Ami. She thought about telling him more about how Naoko made her uneasy, but decided not to burden him with such meaningless things. If things went well, they might even be able to leave this very week. She stayed as long as she dared on Kenshin's futon, leaning slightly against him, and then she got up and scooted under her own covers.
Sighing, she slowly fell asleep, while Kenshin lay awake, his mind working. He definitely wanted to leave soon. He was starting to trust Naoko less and less. Either way, their presence was a toll on her.
She knows who I am, and it clearly disturbs her that she can't do anything about it. Perhaps she's even afraid that if she lets on that she knows, I'll kill her. And still, her connection with Tomoe… if I asked, then she'd know that I already suspect her. We're at a stalemate. Neither of us wants to make the move that will break this fragile pretense. If all goes well, we'll be able to leave before this shatters.
Kenshin rolled onto his side, his clear eyes dark in the faintly lighted room, focused on Ami, sleeping peacefully in her bedding. He thought about brushing her hair back, but didn't want to wake her. I should have told her… to not be caught alone with Naoko-dono…
He was afraid that Naoko would tell his secret to Ami. He still had no idea whether Ami had ever heard of Hitokiri Battousai before, but Naoko would surely fill in the legend gladly, putting in her own bloody details. To ask for things to remain the same between them might be too much.
Definitely… I definitely want us to leave this place soon.
His eyes closed and he shifted onto his back, falling asleep.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Time was running out.
Naoko's heart was painful; she didn't know what to do. Any day now Battousai would ask to leave. They'd disappear forever, and he'd continue staining the earth with his beastly, bloody presence.
Help me, help me, oh, somebody help me!No, she told herself sternly when the panic faded away, do this yourself, Naoko. Your life is meaningless without this. You must kill Battousai. Then everything…
"Everything will be solved," she whispered. She shut her eyes tightly, mouth pressed into a thin line. Hasegawa-san…
She had loved him so much. She had been a solitary girl, struggling to find independence and yet yearning for companionship. Wanting to be strong, and then wanting to be weak. She had high standards for herself, and hated how fickle she was, but Hasegawa had taken her, loved her, and his criticisms were never unjust or scornful.
Naoko-chan, he had said, smiling faintly at her and holding out his bowl. There's too much salt.
I know, she had said with her head bowed, I know. I will do better next time.
Yes, I know that as well. His voice was always noble sounding. He had held himself strongly, with a calm look on his face as he surveyed his world. His. And he had been taken away, had to serve his duty, and in an insignificant street in Kyoto, he had been struck down, away from home, away from her.
He had been what she wanted to be. Strong, calm, unbothered by the world, except only the news of war brought a wrinkle to his brow as he frowned. And Battousai killed him, in turn dashing her dreams, her happiness.
Not just for me… not just for Hasegawa-san… for everyone. It's better with Himura dead. And so…
She could imagine, briefly, her husband's solemn face as he spoke gravely to her. Do everything you can, Naoko-chan. You cannot fail. You never make the same mistake twice.
My dear, my first mistake?He smiled. Don't lose your head, Naoko-chan.
Of course not.
She planned. How could she delay Battousai and the girl from leaving? She could not think of any more long lasting tasks for him to perform. There had to be something he could fix, spanning over days. She searched for ideas frantically, and then it occurred to her- why did she need more time? She could go out to the garden patch at the side of the house and take the poisons she needed at any time. To grind them into liquid, suitable for hiding into food, wouldn't take more than hours. Was she still afraid to commit murder, after all this time? After all Battousai had done, was she still wavering?
I am not a murderer. I am…She could not say. All she knew was that Battousai deserved to die. Yes, that was it; she was not a murderer, she was an avenger. She would kill Battousai, with his fake smiles, fake politeness. He was a demon with a mask. Demons… must… be exorcised… It was not a sin to kill demons.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Ami plopped backwards onto the porch, just having finished help Kenshin start fire for the bath. He had seen her hot face, smiled, and told her to rest. She watched him appreciatively, smiling fondly, when she felt Naoko move towards her once more, as she had been doing more and more each day. Ami's smile dropped. She remembered the words Naoko had spoken to her yesterday, similar to the ones spoken even the day before.
How well do you know him? There was a cruel smile on her face. I know him better than even you do. Despite your time together, you know nothing.
"How would you know Kenshin?" Ami had demanded the first time Naoko spoke to her that way, suspicious.
Naoko spoke in her frustratingly cool voice. "Why, he's quite famous."
"Why?"
"It's under another name, of course," Naoko smiled again, not answering Ami's question. "I wonder if you know it."
"Shizuma-san," Ami started to say, but Naoko cut her off once more, her voice a whisper, almost feverish.
"You don't know, do you? Are you going to go running to him to find out? It's really a pity."
"I'm not going to go running," Ami murmured, trying to take control of her anger. She searched Naoko's eyes once more, probing, trying to find out the sudden change in her host's personality. This new Naoko was quieter around company, and spiteful when alone with Ami. However, once Ami tried to search into them, Naoko broke eye contact.
"You'll see, girl," Naoko said, looking off to the side. "It's a battle between us. You'll see."
Between us. Well, there wasn't any need for Naoko to emphasize that so obviously. Ami wasn't going to complain to Kenshin about Naoko's taunts anyway. They were stupid lies. And even if they were true, it didn't matter, because Ami knew Kenshin best now, even without knowing his history.
"What is it?" Ami asked now, not looking at her, her eyes still on Kenshin.
Naoko said nothing at first, and then she whispered in a voice that made a chill run down Ami's spine. "You follow him around like a lovesick puppy. I think it will stay that way until the end. You'll see. Even if you did know…"
"I don't care," Ami murmured, her eyes fixed on Kenshin. "I don't care about what he did."
Suddenly, anger grew in her. She stood up and whirled around, her voice still quiet so that Kenshin wouldn't hear. "Whatever you're talking about, it's stupid. Who cares about it? It doesn't matter now."
Naoko's fists clenched visibly, and Ami flinched. The lines had definitely grown deeper on Naoko's face, and the woman looked angry now, instead of her distracted anxiety that Ami had seen when Naoko was alone.
"It always matters," Naoko whispered. "Death matters. You'll see."
"I don't… I don't care," Ami tried to say, trying to fight the dread in her heart. "Why don't you talk to Shun-san about this? I don't… I don't want-"
Naoko stared at her, making eye contact. Now Ami felt like the one being probed, but she willed herself to stare right back. As she stared, she suddenly remembered that Naoko was not too old, and it was this obvious madness that made her seem older, uglier. For just one moment, Ami felt a bit of pity, under all the mistrust, anger, and worry.
Naoko turned away, and Ami watched her. As she watched, her eyes suddenly blurred, and she sank down, resting her head against the pole that helped support the structure.
Why? Why haven't we left yet? We need to go, it's not safe here anymore…Shizuma-san is crazy, Ami thought to herself, miserable, and a little horrified. She helped save my life, but she's crazy. Did we make her turn this way? We have to leave, oh, Kenshin, we have to leave…
But no, they still hadn't. Naoko had complained four days ago about something wrong with the workings of the well, and as Kenshin worked on it, Shun attempting to help, Naoko came up with an errand for Shun to run. Kenshin was still working on that, and meanwhile, Naoko had announced that she would like help gathering herbs and mixing them into medicine.
Always… she's keeping us here…sometime now, Kenshin has to refuse… we have to leave…Thinking these thoughts, she thought of bondage. They weren't slaves, but captives in a sense. Naoko was controlling them in a way- keeping them here, biding her time- Ami knew that something was going on inside of Naoko's head, thoughts that were dangerous to them.
Holding these twisting thoughts and anxieties hidden inside, she looked up again to watch Kenshin, the blazing fire casting dancing orange light onto his figure. He stood up to watch his handwork, eyes flickering in the light. Ami bit her lip and looked down again.
Kenshin…
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
"Shun-san," Ami wondered outloud, "though Shizuma-san is an herbalist, no one has come for medicine…"
Both she and her host's nephew were tending to the herb garden, while Kenshin was doing the laundry. She would have chosen to remain and help Kenshin instead, but he had caught her eyes wandering over at Shun and his work while they washed the clothes.
Go help him, Kenshin had told her. He smiled. Learn something new, Ami-chan. As a nephew to an herbalist, he must know many things as well.
All right, Ami had agreed. She already knew quite a bit about plants, because Hiro had taught her well, discerning the poisonous from the edible, and plants with other properties.
Like plant glue, she remembered briefly as she pruned the herbs, her toes reaching over the boundary of her sandal, rubbing idly into the earth. She looked down at herself. I need new sandals… I'm growing.
She smiled softly. I feel that… I've grown a lot, ever since I met Kenshin.
"Shun-san…" she repeated again. He was not answering.
The older man paused briefly and sighed, before moving his arms forward again.
"Aunt has a few problems… almost a decade ago, her husband was killed. You knew that, yes?"
Ami nodded.
"Well… she had a difficult time. No one wanted to approach her. And now, still nobody wants to unless it's necessary. That's all I can say on the matter, I'm afraid." Shun frowned at her, but couldn't help it from turning into a little smile. "Gossiping isn't a good thing, Ami-chan."
She blushed and nodded again, feeling rebuked. They worked wordlessly for a while, hearing the faint sound of water as Kenshin did the laundry behind them. Then, Ami's eyes found a new sight to wonder over. Further back at the house near the wall, there was also a small plot of plants. They were in the shade, fitting to their gloomy state.
"Are we going to tend to that one, too?" she asked, pointing. Shun glanced over at the hidden plot and shook his head.
"No. Really, I had hoped those plants would die off… those are poisons, kept for rats, I suppose. We haven't had a serious rat problem for a while, though. I'd uproot them, but Aunt is protective of her garden. I only touch it when she tells me to."
"Souka," Ami mused, running her finger along a leaf. Shun kept quiet, his lips pursed.
What he had chosen not to say was that years ago, when his uncle had been killed, Naoko had tried to kill herself using those plants, when her more direct plan had been foiled by visitors. Her knife had been heading towards her throat, and when the startled guests tried to stop her, she even tried to attack them.
Strangely, her attempt to poison herself was on the same day Shun and his family came to visit. His mother spotted her gathering the plants, and ordered Naoko to bed. Forcefully restrained by Shun, who begged for her pardons, Naoko was helpless as her sister wept and tried to destroy the poisonous growth. She hadn't done a very thorough job, and they were back again. By that time, Shun was staying with his aunt, and seeing as she was acting better, didn't care to bring it up again.
During each attempt for death, she did it in the company of others… whether to make a statement or because she really didn't want to die, I don't know…who can tell the mind of an insane person? Shun thought secretly.
She has been acting better… though I feel she has been a little unbalanced, lately. Because of the company? I don't see why; they're perfectly amiable. Shaking off the troublesome thoughts, Shun bent down, sensing absolutely no harm from the sweet little girl beside him and the polite young man behind.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Dinner was uncomfortable, to say the least. Kenshin disguised his suspicious feelings perfectly well, and thanked Naoko as always for the meal. Likewise, she replied that it was nothing, but lately, she couldn't help the faint curl of her lip and the narrowing of her eyes as she glared into her bowl. Shun wasn't even trying to start a conversation, this time.
The clinks of chopsticks against the porcelain bowls and the ruffling of clothing were especially unnerving, tonight. Kenshin set his bowl down, his hands resting on his knees. He looked at Ami who sat by his side, staring forlornly down into her lap, and took strength from her.
"Shizuma-dono," he said. There was a final clink, and then the woman paused briefly before raising her eyes to his.
"Yes, Himura-san?"
"I'd like to address our debt."
The atmosphere seemed to drop down a degree, and Shun put down his bowl.
"We're thankful you have housed us this long," Kenshin continued, his voice clear, "and I'm sorry we can't do more for you. But I think it's time we left."
Beside him, Ami looked up, startled. Kenshin didn't look at her, not breaking his eye contact with Naoko.
"I see," Naoko said quietly. She took a deep breath, and looked away, the picture of disappointment. "But Himura-san, you've only informed me tonight… when do you actually intend to go?"
"Tomorrow would be fine."
Naoko frowned, the corner of her mouth twitching. "…You've been here for such a long time, it will be… lonely without you two. How about the day after tomorrow, to get used to the idea? I'll cook a grand dinner tomorrow and you'll leave the next morning- a farewell party."
"Thank you, but that's-"
"Himura-san." This time, Shun was speaking. His eyes were innocently bright with eagerness. "Please accept! It would be fun. I'm sure Ami-chan would enjoy the party."
Ami looked to the side, feeling lost, as if she were missing something. "Mm," she said, unwilling to outright disagree with the man.
Kenshin sighed. If Ami had directly refused, he might have been able to hold his place without seeming rude. But he had already known Ami would not say no. She liked to please people. And if she were ever to express her wishes in that bright, exuberant way, it would not be in a home like this, so unlike the cheerful house of the Kamachi's.
"All right," he consented, ignoring the prickles of worry at the back of his neck. "Though I sincerely wish you wouldn't go through the trouble."
Naoko smiled at him. "It's nothing at all."
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Later that night, Shun's aunt approached him in his room. Himura and the girl were presumably at bed and sleeping- Shun opened his door, puzzled and nervous. The air was cool, and the crickets were loud.
"Auntie?"
"Nephew," Naoko said gently. It was the first time she had spoken to him in such a tone since the boarders had arrived. She gestured into his room. "May we talk in here?"
"Of course," Shun said, and stepped aside to let her in. He slid the shoji closed, and then they sat on the floor facing each other.
"Nephew, you have done so much for me these past years. And I have forgotten to write to your mother for some time- have you kept correspondence?"
Shun swallowed, confused at her admission. "Well, yes, I have written to her lately."
"What did you write?"
"I… asked how everyone was doing back home… I told her that we were both in good health. And I told her that we had two rurouni living with us for the time being."
"I see." Naoko had a half-smile on her face. It disappeared as she leaned forward, eyes looking deeply into his own. She spoke in a hushed voice.
"Nephew. I came here to tell you to beware of Himura."
"What? Auntie, you believe he is dangerous?" Shun wisely kept the disbelief out of his voice. His neck was tense.
"Shun." Her voice was colder now, with a hint of urgency. "I need you to trust me now. Believe me when I say, Himura is Hitokiri Battousai."
Shun was struck dumb for a moment. His tongue felt heavy. Hitokiri Battousai?
"Under what basis… why do you, Auntie…?"
"Shun… think of the legends and rumors. One description of the murderer was so strange, but it was actually confirmed by the Tokugawa government. My husband told me- Battousai was young. His hair was red. And on his cheek… scars."
It described Himura perfectly, Shun admitted to himself. Except for the killer portion- the demon who crept up silently and killed with god-like speed. Himura had said that he fought in the war, but…
"Shun… he carries a sword. The one who was never brought to justice- he wanders around the countryside! Freely, under guise!"
"Impossible…" Shun said weakly. His aunt's eyes flared, her bony hand clenched into a fist.
"It's true," Naoko hissed. "Don't disappoint me and shy away from the truth. Be a man and understand that Hitokiri Battousai, my husband's murderer, is right here in this damned house!"
"But the girl… Ami-chan…"
Naoko's lips curled. "The girl has no idea. Battousai has taken her in completely. She is his cover; if she were not with him, wouldn't you be easier convinced that he was Battousai?" Naoko laughed suddenly. "What if Battousai was even the one who killed her brother? The girl is so blind. He could have plucked her away, pretending to be the hero…"
Shun couldn't think. He tried, really tried to remember all the times he had spoken or been with Himura. But the new possibilities overrode his brain. The smiles, the polite voice- was it really all a sham? The cold killer… could he really be using such a cover?
Naoko saw him weakening, coming into the light. "I have more evidence," she spoke softly, feeling triumphant. "That day by the lake… well, it may take a while to explain. But I know that definitely, Himura Kenshin is Hitokiri Battousai."
Yes… there had been times Himura acted strangely… and he was always so guarded. A man like him, so polite, helpful, but bearing a past that was not fit to be told… an ordinary man would go to a monastery, would he not, and repent? But a murderer, pretending…
"Then what do we do?" Shun asked, mouth dry with fear.
"Nephew…" Naoko said, and touched his hand. "Nephew, the very reason you are here with me right now is because of my madness years back then… you know how I grieved over my husband. But I tell you now; what I wished most for was revenge. And years after recovering, the gods have presented me with the opportunity to avenge Hasegawa-san… it is fate, Nephew. They have rewarded me for my patience."
"You're right," Shun muttered. "You're right. What do we do…?"
"It's easy, not even bloody. I will be civilized, Nephew. Instead of drawing out pain like he deserves, he will simply eat… and then the poison will kill him. I will not give him enough time to retaliate. It will render him helpless or kill him swiftly."
Naoko sat ramrod straight now, and her eyes burned vividly. Instead of thinking her mad as he had done before, Shun felt a little awe. His aunt had figured out Himura's identity, and she would take revenge as was right, despite the new laws. She was a stronger woman than he had known. His mother's sister was definitely not ordinary.
"Yes Auntie," he said softly, strangely having an urge to bow. "I will help you. And then… and then Hasegawa-san's ghost will rest in peace?"
It was a daring thing to say, but Naoko smiled at him. It was an expression he faintly remembered from childhood. And he remembered how large Hasegawa-san had been, his figure standing beside Naoko's.
It was good to see such an expression on his aunt's face again, so Shun waited a while before speaking. She was still volatile, after all.
"What of the girl? Ami-chan?"
Just as he feared, the smile was wiped away.
"We must get rid of her." Before Shun could say more, Naoko plowed on. "She is too deeply connected with Battousai. When he dies, she will definitely try and cause problems. I do not want to contact the government for this matter- there is no doubt the Meiji government will punish us for killing Battousai on our own. Anyhow, the girl's tongue will run loose- she will try and tell the other occupants of this town that we have murdered a man. However, this town was a supporter of the Shogunate during the war- if we explained who Battousai was, they would probably side with us. Enough men have been killed from this area. She would gain no help from anyone here, but she would go to other towns to report us. We have no choice but to silence her. Even if we told her who Battousai was… "
Naoko did not need to say more. It was obvious to Shun as well. If they had told her who Kenshin really was, Ami would have gone on loving him anyway and not blaming him. She was, as Naoko had said, taken in completely.
"So we'll poison both of them at once," Shun said. He was glad. He would try and guide his aunt to choose painless poison. Despite now knowing Himura's identity, he did not feel well killing the two of them, whom he had spent so much time with. And if they died by poison, they would not be separated, even in death… Ami would continue to be with Himura in the afterlife, just as she would have wished, he was sure.
"You are a fine man, Nephew," Naoko said softly. She touched his hand once more. "Sleep well, and remember to act as if nothing had happened in the morning. I believe they are already slightly suspicious- don't give anything away. Remember that."
"Goodnight, Auntie," Shun murmured.
She wished him goodnight as well, and then vanished so quickly and silently it was as if she was a ghost. Maybe she was, Shun pondered. A ghost who lingered here only until her wish and purpose was fulfilled.
He lay down, urging his breathing to be calm. He thought for a long time, and then fell asleep. He dreamt of smiles and blood.
A/N:
All of the sudden, I just started writing and finished the chapter….
To those who have somehow managed to keep waiting, I'm still very sorry. I know it's easier to enjoy a story and its flow when the author doesn't update ONCE A YEAR.
Maybe 2/3 chapters more will finish this ARC. Blah.