Su Kaolla - With a license to thrill
Su Kaolla - With a license to thrill[PG-13]
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson
Summary: The Crimson Moon is about to appear and the time for Kaolla's change is imminent. Amalla remembers about it in time and Kaolla is called back home, to ensure that the foreigners she's living about doesn't find out about her condition. However, Kaolla believes that she might be bored without her usual playmates around and thus arranges for Keitaro to go to Molmol with her, which causes all kinds of havoc!
Disclaimer: Love Hina, Hinata Sou and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine.
Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860 or through e-mail as , more stories are available at my nifty lil' site at or by clicking on my handle up above.
"speech"
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers
/thoughts/
/telepathy/
translation
soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV
Previously, on 'Su Kaolla - With a license to thrill'
"Hiya!" Kaolla cheerfully greeted them.
"Hi..." Keitaro managed to mumble in response.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Welcome back, yadda-yadda-yadda star-of-my-eye yadda-yadda noble line yadda-yadda supremely pleased yadda-yadda. Come on, the grub is waiting for us." the king announced and turned his attention to the crowd at the palace gates. "And all you buggers can just sod off! Show's over!" he added, much to the amusement of the crowd, who laughed and cheered at the antics of their laid-back supreme ruler.
"Honey..." the blonde said in a strained tone of voice, her right eyebrow twitching madly.
"I like your speeches, sugar." the brunette commented. "Short and to the point!" she added with a hearty laugh.
"Onwards, Keitaro! To the grub!" Kaolla ordered and laughed happily.
Roll credits
Chapter Two:
The royal dinner was one of the most odd affairs Keitaro had ever been through in his entire life.
The king was pleasant enough, chatting amiably and informally with everyone around. His behavior was certainly nothing at all like what Keitaro had imagined from a king. He smoked damn well near non-stop, he drank, he ate, he burped, he laughed out loud and would on occasion make his way over to Kaolla in order to enfold her in a crushing bear hug. Keitaro could certainly make a guess from whom Su had gotten her sleeping hug habit from.
The blonde queen, was formal, regal and certainly acted more like a queen, then her husband acted like a king. She tried to keep the entire event formal, but as evidenced by the twitch of her eyebrows, failed miserably to do so. While she spoke kindly and politely to Keitaro a few times, it was hard to discern what she really thought. All in all, she just served to make him even more nervous then he already was.
The brunette queen, didn't help much in that department either, quite the opposite even. She was significantly less formal then the other queen and was even more friendly then the king. Disturbingly so, as a matter of fact! He wasn't quite sure if she was really flirting with him or just joking, but it certainly seemed like she was coming on to him! The king didn't appear to care overly much about it, though one or the other of the blonde queens eyebrows twitched from time to time at the more blatant overtures.
Kaolla was... Well, Kaolla. There was no changing that.
Her brother was kind, soft-spoken and if it hadn't been for the social and geographical barriers between the two of them, Keitaro thought they might have been friends. The antics of the king didn't appear to bother him and he merely smiled at the behavior of the two queens.
Her sister was... Well. Keitaro didn't really know what to think. It almost seemed as if she resented him, though he couldn't be quite sure of that. She acted more formal then her brother, but not as much as the first queen. But she didn't speak at all with Keitaro, going as far as ignoring him the one time he attempted to strike up a conversation with her.
He felt very much out of place and would have preferred not being seated at the royal table, but Kaolla, her brother, the king and the brunette queen had insisted that he'd join them. The other queen had added that as a guest of her daughter, he was more then welcome to join them, but had not revealed weather that was a course of action that she endorsed or would merely endure. Her sister had not commented upon his invitation to the royal table at all.
He felt very much relieved, when the entire affair was over and Kaolla dragged him away to show him her suite at the palace.
It was certainly a far cry from her room at Hinata Sou. The only plants around here, were of the potted variety. There was no nuclear reactor in the corner, the tables weren't filled with tools, parts or half-finished inventions. It was merely seven immaculately cleaned rooms with two bathrooms, finely furnished and decorated. Seven large rooms. Her suite took up nearly as much space as the first floor at the Hinata Sou, including the Hot Springs. One of the bathrooms contained a heated pool, nearly the size of the Hot Springs at Hinata Sou. The second bathroom was western in design, with an ornate bathtub and a water closet in the same room.
"And this is my bedroom, Keitaro." she announced, as she opened the door to the seventh room and prodded him inside.
"It's... Big... And, uh, nice..." Keitaro commented, politely withholding his opinion that it looked like a demented pimps wet dream. Either that, or like an ad from Brothels 'R Us which a team of hung-over designers on Speed had put together. There were hues of red. There were silks, velvet and satin. There were mirrors on the ceiling. There were golden tassels. There was polished white marble columns.
There was... A bed, of sorts.
It was large enough to fit ten people, the covers were red silk, the pillows were heart-shaped and resting in the middle of it was a large stuffed tiger.
"Mmrrrf..."
Correction, a large live tiger.
"AAAAH!" Keitaro shrieked, as the huge creature yawned and stretched.
"Hiya, Razor-chan!" Kaolla greeted the huge creature, leapt up onto the bed, bouncing away from where she had landed, flew up into the air and landed on top of the tiger which responded with an 'oomph' of expelled air. Kaolla happily wrapped her arms around the tiger, nuzzling against it with gusto as the creature gave Keitaro an almost sheepish look.
"R-ra-r-r-r-razor-ch-chan?" Keitaro stuttered, sweating profusely as he stared at Kaolla wrestling with the despondent looking tiger. The tiger held its huge paws together and its mouth was moving soundlessly. It almost seemed as if it was silently praying for mercy and relief, much like Keitaro himself did at times when he was being mauled by Kaolla or one of the other girls.
"Yeah! He's my pet! Isn't he cute?" Kaolla inquired, grabbing hold of Razors whiskers, using them to pull his mouth up into some semblance of a grin. The defeated look in those once-feral eyes as they focused on Keitaro, seemed to signal that the owner of those eyes knew that the times of peace and recuperation they had enjoyed lately, was at an end.
"H-ho-h-how di-d-did you wind up with a t-t-tiger for your pet?" Keitaro inquired, taking a cautious step closer to the bed. While the tiger had scared the crap out of him when it first moved, its sheepish expression of utter defeat was quickly decreasing the amount of fear it inspired in Keitaro.
"I caught him for my Rite of Ascension!" Kaolla happily replied, twisting the creatures head around in order to plant a sloppy kiss right onto its nose.
"C-caught him?" Keitaro repeated.
"Yeah! That was lots of fun!" she enthused, while the tiger merely shuddered.
"What is a 'Rite of Ascension'?" Keitaro asked.
"An act of bravery, to prove that one is fit to lead our people." Kaolla replied. "I was seven. The Council of Elders thought I was very brave. At least, that's what they told me when I brought Razor-chan into the council hall and asked if capturing him could count as my Rite of Ascension."
"I see..." Keitaro replied as he imagined a room full of stuffy old people running for their lives and climbing the walls, as Kaolla came riding a scorched, limping tiger into the council room, a still smoking weapon of some sort slung over her right shoulder. While that might not necessarily be how it was, he didn't think that he was all that far off the mark.
He yawned, not having been able to sleep on the plane and having worked hard before the flight, had put a severe dent in his energy supply.
"Uh, Kaolla." he ventured, having been kicked repeatedly in the back of his head the first time he had refereed to her as 'Your royal highness'. "I don't mean to be rude, but do you think you can ask someone to show me to my room? I'm getting rather tired."
"This is it, Keitaro." Kaolla replied, gesturing at the room they were currently in.
"EEEeeeeh?!" Keitaro exclaimed.
"I'm gonna be sleepin' with you anyway, now that Motoko isn't here to snuggle up against. So, there's no need for you to get a room of your own, when we can sleep in style right here." Kaolla flippantly responded. "Your bag is over there, in case you need anything." she added, pointing next to the door, where his sports bag stood next to Kaolla's suitcase.
"Can't you sleep with one of your mothers? Or dad? Or brother? Or sister?" Keitaro inquired.
"But I wanna sleep with you, Keitaro." Kaolla pouted. "That's why I asked you to come, remember?"
"No, you asked me to keep you company and play with you." Keitaro replied, being fairly certain that he would have remembered if Kaolla had asked him to sleep in her bed.
"Yeah? So keep me company, then!" Kaolla said, rolling away from Razor-chan towards the pillows. "Come on! It's really comfy."
"This is your room. It's just not proper..." Keitaro said, backing away from the bed while shaking his head.
"We've slept together before." Kaolla stated dismissively.
"You've slept with him?! Oh, I'm so envious of you, Kaolla!" a cheerful voice exclaimed and Keitaro jumped, spinning around in the air and coming face to face with the rest of the Royal family as he landed, the brunette queen having taken point this time. "Was he any good? Can you recommend him?" she inquired, slithering over to Keitaro where she promptly proceeded to caress his torso, eyeing him like a trader at a cattle market.
"I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-it-i-it-it-it-i-it's n-not..." Keitaro started to stutter a protest, only to be cut off by Kaolla.
"Sure! Several times. It was the best. He's even better then Motoko, but she gets so upset whenever she hears that I've slept with him, so I hardly ever get to do it." Kaolla enthused.
"Oh?" the king commented, an amused smile on his face, while the blonde queens eyebrows were twitching so furiously that Keitaro absently wondered if she was going to take flight if it got any worse.
"Congratulations, Kaolla. It's high time that you got yourself a boyfriend, now if only Amalla would get off her lazy bum and start smelling the roses!" the slutty queen proclaimed, still caressing a now very nervous and still madly stuttering Keitaro.
"Congratulations, Kaolla." her 'brother' said. "I am a little disappointed that you got yourself a boyfriend without telling your fiancée first, but I can see that he makes you happy, so I'll bow out gracefully." he added.
"Yes, congratulations." Amalla managed to get out between gritted teeth, then she blinked and appeared to come to some sort of realization. Suddenly, she smiled an absolutely gorgeous smile and that made her shine like a beautiful sunrise. "Congratulations!" she added with a friendly and genuine smile.
"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bu-b-b-b..." Keitaro stuttered.
"Young man!" the blonde queen said sternly, instantly shutting him up and putting his mental gears back on track.
"Yes, mam! I mean... Yes, your majesty!" Keitaro said, nearly standing at attention under the blonde womans piercing gaze.
"You will take responsibility, won't you?" she inquired.
"B..." Keitaro started, only to stop as the eyebrows started twitching again, though now both of them did so at the same time. "Yes, your majesty!" he snapped.
"Good. We'll have the wedding in two days. I'll not have a bastard being born in my family!" she announced, then grabbed the second queen and pulled her out of the room, already discussing wedding arrangements.
"Wedding?" Keitaro whimpered under his breath, feeling weak in the knees and faint of heart. "Bu-b-b-bu-b-but..." he stuttered, trying to protest against what was going on all around him.
"Welcome to the family, kid." the king said with a wry smile.
"Bu-b-bu-but... But... I... We... We didn't..." Keitaro stuttered.
"I suspected as much." the king commented. "Won't help you now, however. Once those two get started... Like I said, welcome to the family." he finished.
"Bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu..."
"Is wedding, tasty?" Kaolla inquired, a finger in her mouth and a thoughtful expression on her face. She wasn't nearly as clueless as her comments might make her seem at times, but the tasty-question was a handy way to buy herself some time to think a situation through some more. She really liked Keitaro, he was fun, kind and somewhat handsome. She certainly could do worse and it was definitively an improvement over having to marry the man who was raised as her brother.
And if they were married, Motoko could hardly complain over her sleeping with him, now could she?
Kaolla instantly decided that she fully approved of the current situation. Not only would she get out of marrying her adoptive brother, whom she dearly loved, just not in a marrying kind of way, but she would get to marry a kind, thoughtful, fun and handsome man, whom she loved. She wasn't yet certain that it was a marrying kind of love, but suspected that it was. Then her brother would be free and Amalla could start laying the moves on him, if she so desired.
Yes, the situation was definitively to Kaolla's liking.
"Hey, guys! Come quick! You've just gotta see this!" Kitsune hollered at the top of her voice, her eyes glued to the television set.
... here in Molmol, in front of the royal palace were the wedding is about to take place. The groom, the Japanese citizen Urashima Keitaro, looks a bit nervous. But considering that he's marrying the Crown Princess of Molmol, it is understandable that there are some pre-wedding jitters to confront.
"Way to go, Keitaro!" Kitsune cheered, raising her beer in a silent tribute to the absent Ronin.
"What's going on, Kitsune?" Naru said, as the others gathered behind the couch. "What was that about Keitaro? Has the moron finally decided to call us?"
"Keitaro is getting married! To the Crown Princess of Molmol." Kitsune replied and pointed at the TV, much to the shock, astonishment and complete bafflement of the collected females.
"The who of what?" Sarah asked, scratching the back of her head in confusion.
"S-s-s-se-s-sem-s-sempai is?" Shinobu stuttered.
"What?! What foul, depraved acts could have convinced any woman to marry one such as him? He must have brain-washed her!" Motoko announced.
"K-k-k-keitaro?" Naru stuttered, her gaze sealed to the screen, which showed a newscast live from Molmol, where a very nervous looking Urashima Keitaro was standing in front of an elaborate and highly perverted-looking altar, depicting several gods from the Molmol pantheon engaging in various very athletic-looking sexual acts. Some of which seemed to require more then the usual amount of limbs and various other appendages. Keitaro was dressed in a dark suit and though he looked nervous, even Sarah and Motoko had to reluctantly admit, if only to themselves, that he cut a handsome figure in it.
The announcement came as a shock to most and the wedding almost directly upon the announcement. We here at NE! can only speculate what could have brought this wedding frenzy on, but the blushing bride appears to have put on a few pounds since last she appeared to the public. Perhaps she has been doing something other then eating those famous Kaolla Splits lately? Did our fellow countryman Mr Urashima nibble upon the forbidden royal fruit before the wedding?
"What?!" Naru exclaimed with clenched fists, while Motoko looked furious enough to chew through steel bars.
Little is known about the groom, but NE!'s sources reveal that he's a third year Ronin aiming for Tokyo University, currently working as a live-in manager for a girls dormitory in Hinata City. There is some speculation that this is how he came to meet the Crown Princess, who has been living and studying in Japan for some time now.
"He went there unexpectedly with Su... You don't think..." Sarah asked, as a horrified expression started to form on her face.
And here's the bride now! Oh, she looks stunning in that western style wedding dress! The Everwatching Eyes of Molmol does make it look a bit creepy, but Crown Princess Su Kaolla pulls it off none the less. The young bride looks absolutely gorgeous in white! The designer dress by Madame Montague, is reputed to cost an absolute fortune due to the stress she and her team were laboring under to get it finished in time.
"Kaolla!" Shinobu exclaimed, staring in shock at the screen as Sarah fainted. Motoko looked queasy and Naru snatched Kitsune's beer can out of her hand, draining it in one go.
"Oh, I can't wait to hear the story behind this!" Kitsune exclaimed and started to laugh, reaching for another beer to replace the one Naru had so rudely stolen from her.
"Prince Su..." Keitaro muttered despondently, seated on the floor, resting his back against the foot of Kaolla's bed. Well, his and Kaolla's now, he guessed. Seated next to him, was the tiger Razor. Keitaro awkwardly hefted the bottle of bourbon he'd brought along from the reception and took a swing straight from the bottle, coughing and spluttering at the foul taste and burning sensation the strong drink caused.
He put the bottle down next to him and leaned his head back, until it was resting on top of the bed.
"Prince Su Keitaro... Kami, how did I manage to wind up in this mess?" he asked of the heavens, then tilted his head back forward, only to see that Razor had taken the neck of the bottle into his mouth and then proceeded to tilt his head back, swallowing down several gulps of the strong liquid. Then he tilted it back forward and carefully put the bottle back down on the ground, giving off a relieved sigh. "You know the feeling, huh?" Keitaro asked, before wiping the bottle off on his suit jacket, taking another swallow from it once he'd cleared off most of the remaining tiger slobber from it.
Razor nodded in response, a look of despair on his once-feral face. Now, he looked more like a cute little kitty-cat who had just discovered the fact that the mice had rented Dobermans packing some serious heat as bodyguards, then a wild predatory animal.
"My life was so simple, once upon a time..." Keitaro reflected. "All I had to worry about was studying, finding the promised girl and trying to avoid having one of my parents walk in during one of my stroking sessions. Now, I have a girls dorm to run, studies, a wife and a princehood to boot. And what about the promised girl? Should I still look for her? What will she think of the fact that I'm married? Will I be able to get a divorce and remain breathing? Will the promised girl accept a divorced Ronin or run screaming from me?"
"MMRRRRRrrrrrr!" Razor growled, which is tigrish for 'Hah! If you only knew! One day, I was living the good life in the jungle. The next, some crazy cub with a bazooka brings me to this odd den!'. The huge cat leaned forward and took possession of the bottle once again, taking another few swallows from it, before depositing it back into Keitaro's hand.
This time, Keitaro didn't even bother to wipe it off before chugging from it.
"Honey? Are you drinking? On our wedding night?" Kaolla inquired as she strode into the room. Razor cast one apologetic glance at Keitaro, shook his furred head and then rose.
"MMRRRRRrrrrrr." he apologized. Because while it might sound quite similar to 'Hah! If you only knew! One day, I was living the good life in the jungle. The next, some crazy cub with a bazooka brings me to this odd den!', it actually means 'Oh man! I am so outta here. Sorry, Gov. But on this, you are so on your own.'.
The End! ( For now... )
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson
Disclaimer: Love Hina, Hinata Sou and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine.
Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860 or through e-mail as , more stories are available at my nifty lil' site at or by clicking on my handle up above.
"speech"
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers
/thoughts/
/telepathy/
translation
soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV
"Hiya!" Kaolla cheerfully greeted them.
"Hi..." Keitaro managed to mumble in response.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Welcome back, yadda-yadda-yadda star-of-my-eye yadda-yadda noble line yadda-yadda supremely pleased yadda-yadda. Come on, the grub is waiting for us." the king announced and turned his attention to the crowd at the palace gates. "And all you buggers can just sod off! Show's over!" he added, much to the amusement of the crowd, who laughed and cheered at the antics of their laid-back supreme ruler.
"Honey..." the blonde said in a strained tone of voice, her right eyebrow twitching madly.
"I like your speeches, sugar." the brunette commented. "Short and to the point!" she added with a hearty laugh.
"Onwards, Keitaro! To the grub!" Kaolla ordered and laughed happily.
The royal dinner was one of the most odd affairs Keitaro had ever been through in his entire life.
The king was pleasant enough, chatting amiably and informally with everyone around. His behavior was certainly nothing at all like what Keitaro had imagined from a king. He smoked damn well near non-stop, he drank, he ate, he burped, he laughed out loud and would on occasion make his way over to Kaolla in order to enfold her in a crushing bear hug. Keitaro could certainly make a guess from whom Su had gotten her sleeping hug habit from.
The blonde queen, was formal, regal and certainly acted more like a queen, then her husband acted like a king. She tried to keep the entire event formal, but as evidenced by the twitch of her eyebrows, failed miserably to do so. While she spoke kindly and politely to Keitaro a few times, it was hard to discern what she really thought. All in all, she just served to make him even more nervous then he already was.
The brunette queen, didn't help much in that department either, quite the opposite even. She was significantly less formal then the other queen and was even more friendly then the king. Disturbingly so, as a matter of fact! He wasn't quite sure if she was really flirting with him or just joking, but it certainly seemed like she was coming on to him! The king didn't appear to care overly much about it, though one or the other of the blonde queens eyebrows twitched from time to time at the more blatant overtures.
Kaolla was... Well, Kaolla. There was no changing that.
Her brother was kind, soft-spoken and if it hadn't been for the social and geographical barriers between the two of them, Keitaro thought they might have been friends. The antics of the king didn't appear to bother him and he merely smiled at the behavior of the two queens.
Her sister was... Well. Keitaro didn't really know what to think. It almost seemed as if she resented him, though he couldn't be quite sure of that. She acted more formal then her brother, but not as much as the first queen. But she didn't speak at all with Keitaro, going as far as ignoring him the one time he attempted to strike up a conversation with her.
He felt very much out of place and would have preferred not being seated at the royal table, but Kaolla, her brother, the king and the brunette queen had insisted that he'd join them. The other queen had added that as a guest of her daughter, he was more then welcome to join them, but had not revealed weather that was a course of action that she endorsed or would merely endure. Her sister had not commented upon his invitation to the royal table at all.
He felt very much relieved, when the entire affair was over and Kaolla dragged him away to show him her suite at the palace.
It was certainly a far cry from her room at Hinata Sou. The only plants around here, were of the potted variety. There was no nuclear reactor in the corner, the tables weren't filled with tools, parts or half-finished inventions. It was merely seven immaculately cleaned rooms with two bathrooms, finely furnished and decorated. Seven large rooms. Her suite took up nearly as much space as the first floor at the Hinata Sou, including the Hot Springs. One of the bathrooms contained a heated pool, nearly the size of the Hot Springs at Hinata Sou. The second bathroom was western in design, with an ornate bathtub and a water closet in the same room.
"And this is my bedroom, Keitaro." she announced, as she opened the door to the seventh room and prodded him inside.
"It's... Big... And, uh, nice..." Keitaro commented, politely withholding his opinion that it looked like a demented pimps wet dream. Either that, or like an ad from Brothels 'R Us which a team of hung-over designers on Speed had put together. There were hues of red. There were silks, velvet and satin. There were mirrors on the ceiling. There were golden tassels. There was polished white marble columns.
There was... A bed, of sorts.
It was large enough to fit ten people, the covers were red silk, the pillows were heart-shaped and resting in the middle of it was a large stuffed tiger.
"Mmrrrf..."
Correction, a large live tiger.
"AAAAH!" Keitaro shrieked, as the huge creature yawned and stretched.
"Hiya, Razor-chan!" Kaolla greeted the huge creature, leapt up onto the bed, bouncing away from where she had landed, flew up into the air and landed on top of the tiger which responded with an 'oomph' of expelled air. Kaolla happily wrapped her arms around the tiger, nuzzling against it with gusto as the creature gave Keitaro an almost sheepish look.
"R-ra-r-r-r-razor-ch-chan?" Keitaro stuttered, sweating profusely as he stared at Kaolla wrestling with the despondent looking tiger. The tiger held its huge paws together and its mouth was moving soundlessly. It almost seemed as if it was silently praying for mercy and relief, much like Keitaro himself did at times when he was being mauled by Kaolla or one of the other girls.
"Yeah! He's my pet! Isn't he cute?" Kaolla inquired, grabbing hold of Razors whiskers, using them to pull his mouth up into some semblance of a grin. The defeated look in those once-feral eyes as they focused on Keitaro, seemed to signal that the owner of those eyes knew that the times of peace and recuperation they had enjoyed lately, was at an end.
"H-ho-h-how di-d-did you wind up with a t-t-tiger for your pet?" Keitaro inquired, taking a cautious step closer to the bed. While the tiger had scared the crap out of him when it first moved, its sheepish expression of utter defeat was quickly decreasing the amount of fear it inspired in Keitaro.
"I caught him for my Rite of Ascension!" Kaolla happily replied, twisting the creatures head around in order to plant a sloppy kiss right onto its nose.
"C-caught him?" Keitaro repeated.
"Yeah! That was lots of fun!" she enthused, while the tiger merely shuddered.
"What is a 'Rite of Ascension'?" Keitaro asked.
"An act of bravery, to prove that one is fit to lead our people." Kaolla replied. "I was seven. The Council of Elders thought I was very brave. At least, that's what they told me when I brought Razor-chan into the council hall and asked if capturing him could count as my Rite of Ascension."
"I see..." Keitaro replied as he imagined a room full of stuffy old people running for their lives and climbing the walls, as Kaolla came riding a scorched, limping tiger into the council room, a still smoking weapon of some sort slung over her right shoulder. While that might not necessarily be how it was, he didn't think that he was all that far off the mark.
He yawned, not having been able to sleep on the plane and having worked hard before the flight, had put a severe dent in his energy supply.
"Uh, Kaolla." he ventured, having been kicked repeatedly in the back of his head the first time he had refereed to her as 'Your royal highness'. "I don't mean to be rude, but do you think you can ask someone to show me to my room? I'm getting rather tired."
"This is it, Keitaro." Kaolla replied, gesturing at the room they were currently in.
"EEEeeeeh?!" Keitaro exclaimed.
"I'm gonna be sleepin' with you anyway, now that Motoko isn't here to snuggle up against. So, there's no need for you to get a room of your own, when we can sleep in style right here." Kaolla flippantly responded. "Your bag is over there, in case you need anything." she added, pointing next to the door, where his sports bag stood next to Kaolla's suitcase.
"Can't you sleep with one of your mothers? Or dad? Or brother? Or sister?" Keitaro inquired.
"But I wanna sleep with you, Keitaro." Kaolla pouted. "That's why I asked you to come, remember?"
"No, you asked me to keep you company and play with you." Keitaro replied, being fairly certain that he would have remembered if Kaolla had asked him to sleep in her bed.
"Yeah? So keep me company, then!" Kaolla said, rolling away from Razor-chan towards the pillows. "Come on! It's really comfy."
"This is your room. It's just not proper..." Keitaro said, backing away from the bed while shaking his head.
"We've slept together before." Kaolla stated dismissively.
"You've slept with him?! Oh, I'm so envious of you, Kaolla!" a cheerful voice exclaimed and Keitaro jumped, spinning around in the air and coming face to face with the rest of the Royal family as he landed, the brunette queen having taken point this time. "Was he any good? Can you recommend him?" she inquired, slithering over to Keitaro where she promptly proceeded to caress his torso, eyeing him like a trader at a cattle market.
"I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-it-i-it-it-it-i-it's n-not..." Keitaro started to stutter a protest, only to be cut off by Kaolla.
"Sure! Several times. It was the best. He's even better then Motoko, but she gets so upset whenever she hears that I've slept with him, so I hardly ever get to do it." Kaolla enthused.
"Oh?" the king commented, an amused smile on his face, while the blonde queens eyebrows were twitching so furiously that Keitaro absently wondered if she was going to take flight if it got any worse.
"Congratulations, Kaolla. It's high time that you got yourself a boyfriend, now if only Amalla would get off her lazy bum and start smelling the roses!" the slutty queen proclaimed, still caressing a now very nervous and still madly stuttering Keitaro.
"Congratulations, Kaolla." her 'brother' said. "I am a little disappointed that you got yourself a boyfriend without telling your fiancée first, but I can see that he makes you happy, so I'll bow out gracefully." he added.
"Yes, congratulations." Amalla managed to get out between gritted teeth, then she blinked and appeared to come to some sort of realization. Suddenly, she smiled an absolutely gorgeous smile and that made her shine like a beautiful sunrise. "Congratulations!" she added with a friendly and genuine smile.
"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bu-b-b-b..." Keitaro stuttered.
"Young man!" the blonde queen said sternly, instantly shutting him up and putting his mental gears back on track.
"Yes, mam! I mean... Yes, your majesty!" Keitaro said, nearly standing at attention under the blonde womans piercing gaze.
"You will take responsibility, won't you?" she inquired.
"B..." Keitaro started, only to stop as the eyebrows started twitching again, though now both of them did so at the same time. "Yes, your majesty!" he snapped.
"Good. We'll have the wedding in two days. I'll not have a bastard being born in my family!" she announced, then grabbed the second queen and pulled her out of the room, already discussing wedding arrangements.
"Wedding?" Keitaro whimpered under his breath, feeling weak in the knees and faint of heart. "Bu-b-b-bu-b-but..." he stuttered, trying to protest against what was going on all around him.
"Welcome to the family, kid." the king said with a wry smile.
"Bu-b-bu-but... But... I... We... We didn't..." Keitaro stuttered.
"I suspected as much." the king commented. "Won't help you now, however. Once those two get started... Like I said, welcome to the family." he finished.
"Bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu..."
"Is wedding, tasty?" Kaolla inquired, a finger in her mouth and a thoughtful expression on her face. She wasn't nearly as clueless as her comments might make her seem at times, but the tasty-question was a handy way to buy herself some time to think a situation through some more. She really liked Keitaro, he was fun, kind and somewhat handsome. She certainly could do worse and it was definitively an improvement over having to marry the man who was raised as her brother.
And if they were married, Motoko could hardly complain over her sleeping with him, now could she?
Kaolla instantly decided that she fully approved of the current situation. Not only would she get out of marrying her adoptive brother, whom she dearly loved, just not in a marrying kind of way, but she would get to marry a kind, thoughtful, fun and handsome man, whom she loved. She wasn't yet certain that it was a marrying kind of love, but suspected that it was. Then her brother would be free and Amalla could start laying the moves on him, if she so desired.
Yes, the situation was definitively to Kaolla's liking.
"Hey, guys! Come quick! You've just gotta see this!" Kitsune hollered at the top of her voice, her eyes glued to the television set.
... here in Molmol, in front of the royal palace were the wedding is about to take place. The groom, the Japanese citizen Urashima Keitaro, looks a bit nervous. But considering that he's marrying the Crown Princess of Molmol, it is understandable that there are some pre-wedding jitters to confront.
"Way to go, Keitaro!" Kitsune cheered, raising her beer in a silent tribute to the absent Ronin.
"What's going on, Kitsune?" Naru said, as the others gathered behind the couch. "What was that about Keitaro? Has the moron finally decided to call us?"
"Keitaro is getting married! To the Crown Princess of Molmol." Kitsune replied and pointed at the TV, much to the shock, astonishment and complete bafflement of the collected females.
"The who of what?" Sarah asked, scratching the back of her head in confusion.
"S-s-s-se-s-sem-s-sempai is?" Shinobu stuttered.
"What?! What foul, depraved acts could have convinced any woman to marry one such as him? He must have brain-washed her!" Motoko announced.
"K-k-k-keitaro?" Naru stuttered, her gaze sealed to the screen, which showed a newscast live from Molmol, where a very nervous looking Urashima Keitaro was standing in front of an elaborate and highly perverted-looking altar, depicting several gods from the Molmol pantheon engaging in various very athletic-looking sexual acts. Some of which seemed to require more then the usual amount of limbs and various other appendages. Keitaro was dressed in a dark suit and though he looked nervous, even Sarah and Motoko had to reluctantly admit, if only to themselves, that he cut a handsome figure in it.
The announcement came as a shock to most and the wedding almost directly upon the announcement. We here at NE! can only speculate what could have brought this wedding frenzy on, but the blushing bride appears to have put on a few pounds since last she appeared to the public. Perhaps she has been doing something other then eating those famous Kaolla Splits lately? Did our fellow countryman Mr Urashima nibble upon the forbidden royal fruit before the wedding?
"What?!" Naru exclaimed with clenched fists, while Motoko looked furious enough to chew through steel bars.
Little is known about the groom, but NE!'s sources reveal that he's a third year Ronin aiming for Tokyo University, currently working as a live-in manager for a girls dormitory in Hinata City. There is some speculation that this is how he came to meet the Crown Princess, who has been living and studying in Japan for some time now.
"He went there unexpectedly with Su... You don't think..." Sarah asked, as a horrified expression started to form on her face.
And here's the bride now! Oh, she looks stunning in that western style wedding dress! The Everwatching Eyes of Molmol does make it look a bit creepy, but Crown Princess Su Kaolla pulls it off none the less. The young bride looks absolutely gorgeous in white! The designer dress by Madame Montague, is reputed to cost an absolute fortune due to the stress she and her team were laboring under to get it finished in time.
"Kaolla!" Shinobu exclaimed, staring in shock at the screen as Sarah fainted. Motoko looked queasy and Naru snatched Kitsune's beer can out of her hand, draining it in one go.
"Oh, I can't wait to hear the story behind this!" Kitsune exclaimed and started to laugh, reaching for another beer to replace the one Naru had so rudely stolen from her.
"Prince Su..." Keitaro muttered despondently, seated on the floor, resting his back against the foot of Kaolla's bed. Well, his and Kaolla's now, he guessed. Seated next to him, was the tiger Razor. Keitaro awkwardly hefted the bottle of bourbon he'd brought along from the reception and took a swing straight from the bottle, coughing and spluttering at the foul taste and burning sensation the strong drink caused.
He put the bottle down next to him and leaned his head back, until it was resting on top of the bed.
"Prince Su Keitaro... Kami, how did I manage to wind up in this mess?" he asked of the heavens, then tilted his head back forward, only to see that Razor had taken the neck of the bottle into his mouth and then proceeded to tilt his head back, swallowing down several gulps of the strong liquid. Then he tilted it back forward and carefully put the bottle back down on the ground, giving off a relieved sigh. "You know the feeling, huh?" Keitaro asked, before wiping the bottle off on his suit jacket, taking another swallow from it once he'd cleared off most of the remaining tiger slobber from it.
Razor nodded in response, a look of despair on his once-feral face. Now, he looked more like a cute little kitty-cat who had just discovered the fact that the mice had rented Dobermans packing some serious heat as bodyguards, then a wild predatory animal.
"My life was so simple, once upon a time..." Keitaro reflected. "All I had to worry about was studying, finding the promised girl and trying to avoid having one of my parents walk in during one of my stroking sessions. Now, I have a girls dorm to run, studies, a wife and a princehood to boot. And what about the promised girl? Should I still look for her? What will she think of the fact that I'm married? Will I be able to get a divorce and remain breathing? Will the promised girl accept a divorced Ronin or run screaming from me?"
"MMRRRRRrrrrrr!" Razor growled, which is tigrish for 'Hah! If you only knew! One day, I was living the good life in the jungle. The next, some crazy cub with a bazooka brings me to this odd den!'. The huge cat leaned forward and took possession of the bottle once again, taking another few swallows from it, before depositing it back into Keitaro's hand.
This time, Keitaro didn't even bother to wipe it off before chugging from it.
"Honey? Are you drinking? On our wedding night?" Kaolla inquired as she strode into the room. Razor cast one apologetic glance at Keitaro, shook his furred head and then rose.
"MMRRRRRrrrrrr." he apologized. Because while it might sound quite similar to 'Hah! If you only knew! One day, I was living the good life in the jungle. The next, some crazy cub with a bazooka brings me to this odd den!', it actually means 'Oh man! I am so outta here. Sorry, Gov. But on this, you are so on your own.'.
The End! ( For now... )