Su Kaolla - With a license to thrill
Su Kaolla - With a license to thrill[PG-13]
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson
Summary: The Crimson Moon is about to appear and the time for Kaolla's change is imminent. Amalla remembers about it in time and Kaolla is called back home, to ensure that the foreigners she's living about doesn't find out about her condition. However, Kaolla believes that she might be bored without her usual playmates around and thus arranges for Keitaro to go to Molmol with her, which causes all kinds of havoc!
Disclaimer: Love Hina, Hinata Sou and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine.
Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860 or through e-mail as , more stories are available at my nifty lil' site at or by clicking on my handle up above.
"speech"
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers
/thoughts/
/telepathy/
translation
soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV
Previously, on 'Su Kaolla - With a license to thrill'
"MMRRRRRrrrrrr!" Razor growled, which is tigrish for 'Hah! If you only knew! One day, I was living the good life in the jungle. The next, some crazy cub with a bazooka brings me to this odd den!'. The huge cat leaned forward and took possession of the bottle once again, taking another few swallows from it, before depositing it back into Keitaro's hand.
This time, Keitaro didn't even bother to wipe it off before chugging from it.
"Honey? Are you drinking? On our wedding night?" Kaolla inquired as she strode into the room. Razor cast one apologetic glance at Keitaro, shook his furred head and then rose.
"MMRRRRRrrrrrr." he apologized. Because while it might sound quite similar to 'Hah! If you only knew! One day, I was living the good life in the jungle. The next, some crazy cub with a bazooka brings me to this odd den!', it actually means 'Oh man! I am so outta here. Sorry, Gov. But on this, you are so on your own.'.
Roll credits
Chapter Three:
"Yo, chief. I've got some good news and some really bad news. Which do you want first?" the nameless henchman who is about to be pulped inquired of the evil mastermind, who didn't even provide his henchmen with a decent dental plan and who always called to bother them on their days off.
Yeah, real evil.
"The good news." the evil mastermind ordered.
"Princess Kaolla isn't marrying her brother any more." the henchman announced.
"Yatta!" the evil mastermind cheered. "She'll be mine, all mine! Forever and ever, it'll be the two of us. We'll love, we'll cuddle and we'll call each other cute little pet names, like 'kitten' and 'studmuffin'." he added, little hearts in his eyes, until he happened to glance at the henchman and his amused expression at the antics of his evil boss. "Hrm. Well, that is good news." the mastermind conceded, getting himself back into his emotionless self again. "What's the bad news?"
"She's not marrying her brother, because she has already married some foreigner." the unfortunate henchman announced.
BANG
The evil mastermind put the gun back into its holster and rubbed his temples. Absentmindedly, he reached out for his intercom system and pressed the 'send'-button.
"Miss Cashdollar, send in the cleaners will you? Oh, and call Goons'R Us, would you? I need some new henchmen." he ordered.
I told you we should have bought in bulk! It would have been cheaper in the long run.
"Yes, yes. Fine. We'll do that for my next evil scheme." the evil mastermind muttered as he waited for someone to come in and get the blood off the wall in front of his desk. That was the problem with being on a tight budget, cramped office spaces got so incredible messy whenever one happened to kill someone in them.
Keitaro woke up feeling like ten million yen.
Then reality set in as his dream of attending Todai surrounded by gorgeous Naru-clones and being married to the original one faded away, reducing his net value to about seven yen as he recalled the events of the last few days. Not to mention that he now also noticed that he had woken up inside an oversized 'doghouse' in the royal garden, with his face buried in the armpit of a tiger.
He groaned repeatedly as he crawled out of the cramped sleeping quarters he had shared with Razor. He smelled like... Well... Like he'd slept with a tiger. The unnatural sleeping position had put crimps in just about every part of his body and a few scratches on his arms was evidence that Razor clawed in his sleep.
The beast truly was aptly named.
Keitaro awkwardly stood up, stretching and wincing at the cracking sounds that was emitted from various parts of his body. He yawned and focused a bleary gaze at his surroundings, scratching his belly as he wondered what the time was.
He shuddered as he recalled the events of last night, his wedding night. He'd snuck away from the reception with a bottle in hand, retreated to the bedroom and shared some bourbon with Razor, when Kaolla had arrived. Razor had wisely retreated, something Keitaro wished that he could have done as well.
Kaolla wasn't angry with him, she'd merely been teasing him with her opening remarks.
Oh, how he wished that she'd been angry with him! That would have been oh so much more simple to handle!
But, oh no! His life just couldn't be that simple. Apparently, Amalla had given her a quick lesson on the birds and the bees, a copy of the illustrated Kama Sutra and a copy of the Molmol equivalent thereof. Which seemed to involve a lot more participants and a wide variety of accessories. Kaolla had been intrigued, to say the least, and was more then eager to use her new husband as a guinea pig for some enthusiastic experimentation with various sections from the two books.
After failing to discourage the young woman from that particular course of action, Keitaro had bolted, leaping out of the window. The fact that Kaolla's suit was on the second floor, proved no deterrent for the panicked Ronin, as he had acquired a lot of experience in falling from heights since his arrival at the Hinata Sou.
Kaolla had given pursuit, proving just as much of a challenge to evade as always. No doubt he sported several new scars, burns and bumps on his back. Where she had managed to get her hands on that rocket launcher, was still a mystery. Surely the royal family didn't just keep them lying around the palace, did they?
He'd bumped into the brunette queen in a hallway, who had been more then willing to assist in hiding him away from her 'daughter' and in a moment of bad judgement despite her earlier actions, he had accepted her offer. Naturally, she had taken him to her private bedroom and insisted that he hide in her bed. Then, she had proceeded to strip before joining him under the covers in just mentioned bed.
Apparently, she too had the same books that Kaolla had just received and she had not only read them repeatedly, but even went as far as to memorize both of them and was more then willing to try a few chapters out with Keitaro.
Again, he had bolted, this time minus his suit jacket and shirt. Where the woman had learned to undress someone that quickly, was a mystery.
In his search for a hideout, he'd come across Razors Kaolla-is-in-the-house chosen sleeping quarters in the royal garden and crawled in to join the disgruntled tiger. Razor did not only resent that his mistress was back and that he couldn't sleep in the comfy bed any more, without having to fear getting several ribs cracked by her nocturnal habits. But now he even had to share his Kaolla-free environment with his new drinking buddy? Friendship was all well and good, but there had to be some limits to Razors way of thinking and he decided to kick Keitaro out.
Of course, when the two of them heard Kaolla's voice in the garden, they'd quickly joined forces. Razor had no desire to let his mistress know that he was harboring a fugitive, so he'd used a mighty paw to shove Keitaro all the way into the back, then positioned himself in front of the opening, in order to prevent visibility to the interior of his little domain.
Kaolla had soon continued her pursuit and left the gardens, leaving Razor with a new lodger for the night.
The brunette queen had also come by in search of Keitaro, calling out that she promised to shelter and protect him from the viles of her sinister daughter. The fact that she had been clad in nothing but panties and carrying a whip and a ball-gag, did not inspire much confidence in her proclamations however, so Keitaro had remained hidden inside Razors hut.
"MMRRRRRrrrrrr?" Razor had commented upon the situation, which basically translates to 'The second of the Alpha females, seems to be perpetually in heat. Perhaps if you can be the one to finally knock her up and get her with cubs again, she might settle down a bit. Are you quite certain that you wouldn't be willing to give it a shot?'. Keitaro hadn't understood any of that, but Razor assumed from his lodgers continued stealthy behavior, that he wasn't all that willing to mate with the Alpha female.
Perhaps this newcomer wasn't all that keen on challenging the current Alpha male for dominance just yet. Plenty of the members of this odd pride seemed to be treating the newcomer with an odd amount of reverence, submitting to him. Razor assumed that the newcomer must have challenged and won over quite a lot of them when he hadn't been around to witness it, so he found it odd that Keitaro hadn't challenged the Alpha male yet.
Then again, he had never really understood the odd two-leggers he'd been living with for so long now. He had learned to avoid the Alpha's youngest cub to the greatest extent possible, he had learned to discern the hierarchy the two-leggers operated under and by using scent, body language and audible cues, managed to learn how to tell their moods. But other then that, they were still a grand mystery to Razor.
At least they kept him fed and some of the odd structures in their dens, were quite comfortable to rest upon, even if he had to put up with a lot of things in return. The most disconcerting of which, was the youngest cub of the Alpha female that wasn't perpetually in heat.
In fact, she seemed almost perpetually in cold, if such a term even existed.
The only times she were not, was when she was alone, or believed herself to be alone at any rate, with the Alpha male or the other Alpha female.
Razor had never truly understood that particular aspect of the two-leggers. The two Alpha females were just that, females. Females couldn't produce offspring with one another, so why go through all the trouble of mating, when nothing could ever result of their coupling other then loss of precious energy reserves? Granted, this pride of two-leggers must contain some very skilled hunters, because there was never a lack of food to replenish lost energy with, but it seemed like such a waste anyway.
Two-leggers were odd, there was no denying that.
Keitaro cautiously made his way back into the palace, as Razor studied the departing two-legger with absent interest as a part of his ongoing studies of his current pride.
Keitaro happened to spot the royal family heading for the dining room they tended to use for more intimate gatherings of the immediate family and took the opportunity to head for Kaolla's suit, where a hasty shower, a change of pants and boxers, as well as adding a shirt to his ensemble, did much to improve his current mood.
He even felt comfortable enough, to venture out in search of his new wife, his new in-laws and breakfast. Although not necessarily in that order. The way in which he located them however, was not quite what he expected.
KABLOOOOOOM
"YiiiiiiiiiAAAAAHHHHHH!" Keitaro shrieked as an explosion tore apart the corridor he was walking in, launching him through the air and slammed him through a window in a shower of glass and splinters of wood. He grunted as he impacted a flat surface, then landed on something soft, scented and pliable. He took a few deep breaths and attempted to collect himself, before he realized that the general feeling of whatever had broken his fall, was disturbingly familiar.
It was something which he had become frequently aquainted with since arriving at the Hinata Sou, something which usually got him a solid beating whenever he came into contact with it. He shuddered.
He opened his eyes and found himself staring down at the generous cleavage of the woman who had broken his fall. He put his hands down onto the floor on either side of the woman, pushed up and stared in horror down at the slutty queen, who was gazing up at him with a vapid expression.
"Oh, son-in-law! How bold!" she enthused, then grasped his head and pulled him back down into her cleavage.
"Assassins? Again?" the King sighed, plucking a shard of glass off of the toast he was holding with a slight frown. "Rawan, call the contractors, if you would." he requested of the Royal Chancellor, who often joined the royal family in their little gatherings.
"Of course, your majesty." Lu Rawan replied, bowing in his seat and pressing a speed dial on his cell-phone, plucking a cord-less headset out of a pocket in his robes. "Ah, Nadan. It's me. ... Yeah. ... One of the walls is down, a window and I assume a few doors might need replacing. New carpeting and ceiling. ... Yes... Very well, I'll let security know to expect your team in fifteen. Yes, the usual rates, as always. ... Yes, thank you. Have a pleasant day." he said, wrapping up his conversation. "It shall be dealt with, your majesty." he told the king, then glanced over at the frantic Keitaro who furiously attempted to untangle himself from the clingy queen. "Shall I call a medic over?" he inquired.
"Son-in-law seems like a sturdy lad. He'll be all right." the king commented unconcernedly.
"Very well, your majesty." Rawan responded and rose from his seat. "I'll have the kitchen staff set up a new breakfast in the blue room and then I'll have a little chat with security. By your leave." Rawan announced, bowing before leaving the room.
"Keitaro. If you have sex with one of my moms before you do me, I'll be very cross with you." Kaolla announced from her seat, calmly eating a Kaolla Split for breakfast. Experience and quick reflexes had allowed her to spin around and huddle protectively over her repast to shelter it from debris. She had quite happily proceeded to eat, once the dust had settled.
"You mean that you already haven't?!" the frosty queen demanded, a bit of emotion in her voice for once.
"Nope." Kaolla admitted. "I tried last night, but he got away." she added with a slightly disappointed frown.
"But... You said... You said that you've slept with him several times before." the queen argued.
"Oh, sure. I've slept with him before. I have nightmares when I sleep alone. But I haven't had sex with him before. Or with anyone else, for that matter." Kaolla replied. "Though now I know what Amara-mom meant when she offered to lick my carpet during my last visit." she added, glancing over at her still captive husband. "Amara-mom. Let go of my husband, will you? You can test-drive him for a bit once I've had him."
"But he's so cute!" the brunette queen exclaimed. "He is a little shy, but I've dealt with shy men before!" she added. "I know the purrrrrfect cure for that particular condition." she growled hungrily.
"Help!" Keitaro whimpered from between Queen Amaras generous mounds.
"Amara-mom... Would you really steal his innocence before his wife has had a go at him?" Kaolla asked in a faint voice, moisture in the corners of her suddenly unnaturally huge eyes.
"Aw..." Amara sighed, looking up at the puppy-dog expression of her stepdaughter. "That's cheating, Kaolla." she muttered disapprovingly, reluctantly letting go of Keitaro, who scrambled away on all fours as fast as he could, bumping up against the wall where he staggered into an upright position, flat against the wall. "You're no fun. Either of you." she pouted, adjusting her breasts before getting up.
"You really should try to act more dignified, Amara." the haughty one sniffed.
"Oh, is that so, Ta-chan? Remind me again, just whom was it that spend yesterday night gagged and tied up, upon her own request, I might add?" Queen Amara inquired, archly raising an eyebrow and directing a pointed look at her co-wife.
"You!" Queen Tamawa exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at Amara.
"Oh, yeah. Right. I forgot... But who fingered me to three climaxes, then proceeded to spank and tease me all night long while I was bound'n gagged?" Amara inquired.
"I..." Queen Tamawa started to reply, pointing at herself, before hastily putting the offending appendage down, shutting up with a furious blush.
"So, that's what you two were doing." the king commented with a yawn. "You should have invited me along to watch."
"This whole family is seriously demented..." Keitaro muttered under his breath. "Then again, mine isn't all that much better." he added with a faint sigh.
"Unhand me! Release me, I say!" Motoko ordered, struggling against the seven security guards around her. "And you there, stop fingering my sword!" she added, pulling her left arm free in order to point at an eight security guard, who had partly drawn her sword from the scabbard, fingering the razor-sharp edge of her weapon.
"What is your purpose for coming to Molmol?" a ninth guard asked, ignoring the commotion with Motoko in the background as he instead focused on the other residents of the Hinata Sou.
"We are here to find Urashima Keitaro and make him pay for what he's done." Naru replied with steel in her voice.
"Urashima... Urashima... Why does that sound so fam..." the guard muttered, then blinked as realization struck. "Prince Su! You are here for Prince Su Keitaro?"
"Eunuch Keitaro, once I get my hands on him!" Motoko shouted from underneath a huddle of security guards.
"Yes, Eunuch Keitaro. He must pay, for taking advantage of an innocent young girl like Kaolla." Naru responded, clenching her fists.
"He married my best friend! She married that Ronin! She had to have been brain-washed, or black-mailed, or something." Sarah growled. "We'll force him to release her from his evil clutches and make everything right again."
"Sempai married Kaolla... Sempai married Kaolla... Sempai married Kaolla..." Shinobu repeated over and over again, in muted mutters, a shocked look in her eyes.
"And what about you two?" the guard asked, looking at the last two people in the group.
"Oh, me? I'm just here to see what sort of trouble the others can get themselves into." Kitsune replied with a wide grin. "So far, they've exceeded my every expectation."
"I thought I'd give my nephew a gentle reminder that he ought to have invited his loving aunt to the wedding." Haruka replied, puffing on a cigarette, pointedly ignoring the no-smoking sign. She slowly uncrossed her legs and instead put the leg that had been underneath, on top in a very Sharon Stone:esque manner.
That move would have been much more impressive and interesting to watch, had she not worn slacks on this particular day.
In the next room over, another three security guards didn't have an easier time.
"Let go of me, you brutes!" the irate woman screamed. "I have to kill him! I have to kill him!" she roared and managed to throw one of the guards aside for a few moments, before he grabbed hold of her arm again.
"Now, now, dear... Easy now... Calm down... Think of your blood pressure..." a timid-looking man standing next to the door implored his wife.
"He got married! He got married to a princess! He didn't tell me! He didn't invite me to the wedding!" she screamed right back, kneeing a security guard in the groin. "If that no-good son of mine thinks he'll get away with this, he's got another thing coming to him!" Mrs Urashima bellowed.
And things weren't much of an improvement in the room next to that one either.
"Calm down, Kanako." Granny Hina pleaded.
"I. Am. Calm." Kanako groused, staring with irritation at the lone security guard backed up against the wall, who wished with all his heart that his colleagues who had been called away to help deal with two violent maniacs would return post-haste. The little girl travelling with the old woman was seriously creeping him out.
"Then would you mind not breaking chunks of wood off the table, crushing them in your hands?" Granny Hina requested. "It's disconcerting the poor man and distracting him from his duties."
"Ah, don't worry about it. Really!" the guard said in a shrill voice, trying not to imagine what those relentless hands could do with certain sensitive parts of his anatomy that he greatly valued. "What... Ah... What is your purpose for coming to Molmol?" he inquired nervously.
"Oh, we're just here to see my grandson and visit a few hot springs." Granny Hina answered with a kind smile.
"Yes... I too would like to see my brother. We have... A lot of things to talk about..." Kanako stated in an ice-cold voice, her eyes shooting daggers at the guard who delayed her from finding Keitaro and... Expressing her displeasure with his recent marriage.
Some ways off, back at the royal palace, Keitaro couldn't understand why he kept sneezing. He hoped that it wasn't a summer flu, those were always the hardest to get rid of.
The Royal Groundkeeper was also confused, wondering just why Princess Kaolla's pet was digging a deep hole in the ground underneath its hut. Or why it kept stealing shovels that it bit the wood handles off from, metal trays from the serving staff and the hubcaps from the royal garage.
He had peeked into the animals den while it was away on a supply run and become even more confused, as he saw that the animal had lined the walls of his dug out pit with shovelheads, serving trays, hubcaps, frying pans and other relatively flat metal objects. Also resting in the pit, were two bulletproof vests, a helmet and a supply of food snatched from the kitchen. It almost looked as if the creature was attempting to fashion some sort of shelter in preparation for a siege.
Animals were odd, no doubt about that.
Razor didn't have time to be confused, as he was busy making his way away from the royal gymnasium, with several weights in his mouth. He had taken one whiff of the morning breeze coming from the airport and felt the fur at the back of his neck rise. Without hesitation, he'd hastily dug a hole underneath his den and was now busy lining it with whatever hard objects he could find.
Now all he needed was a supply of water and some sort of lid, to drag over the pit and then stay down there until the danger was over.
The End! ( For now... )
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson
Disclaimer: Love Hina, Hinata Sou and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine.
Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860 or through e-mail as , more stories are available at my nifty lil' site at or by clicking on my handle up above.
"speech"
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers
/thoughts/
/telepathy/
translation
soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV
"MMRRRRRrrrrrr!" Razor growled, which is tigrish for 'Hah! If you only knew! One day, I was living the good life in the jungle. The next, some crazy cub with a bazooka brings me to this odd den!'. The huge cat leaned forward and took possession of the bottle once again, taking another few swallows from it, before depositing it back into Keitaro's hand.
This time, Keitaro didn't even bother to wipe it off before chugging from it.
"Honey? Are you drinking? On our wedding night?" Kaolla inquired as she strode into the room. Razor cast one apologetic glance at Keitaro, shook his furred head and then rose.
"MMRRRRRrrrrrr." he apologized. Because while it might sound quite similar to 'Hah! If you only knew! One day, I was living the good life in the jungle. The next, some crazy cub with a bazooka brings me to this odd den!', it actually means 'Oh man! I am so outta here. Sorry, Gov. But on this, you are so on your own.'.
"Yo, chief. I've got some good news and some really bad news. Which do you want first?" the nameless henchman who is about to be pulped inquired of the evil mastermind, who didn't even provide his henchmen with a decent dental plan and who always called to bother them on their days off.
Yeah, real evil.
"The good news." the evil mastermind ordered.
"Princess Kaolla isn't marrying her brother any more." the henchman announced.
"Yatta!" the evil mastermind cheered. "She'll be mine, all mine! Forever and ever, it'll be the two of us. We'll love, we'll cuddle and we'll call each other cute little pet names, like 'kitten' and 'studmuffin'." he added, little hearts in his eyes, until he happened to glance at the henchman and his amused expression at the antics of his evil boss. "Hrm. Well, that is good news." the mastermind conceded, getting himself back into his emotionless self again. "What's the bad news?"
"She's not marrying her brother, because she has already married some foreigner." the unfortunate henchman announced.
BANG
The evil mastermind put the gun back into its holster and rubbed his temples. Absentmindedly, he reached out for his intercom system and pressed the 'send'-button.
"Miss Cashdollar, send in the cleaners will you? Oh, and call Goons'R Us, would you? I need some new henchmen." he ordered.
I told you we should have bought in bulk! It would have been cheaper in the long run.
"Yes, yes. Fine. We'll do that for my next evil scheme." the evil mastermind muttered as he waited for someone to come in and get the blood off the wall in front of his desk. That was the problem with being on a tight budget, cramped office spaces got so incredible messy whenever one happened to kill someone in them.
Keitaro woke up feeling like ten million yen.
Then reality set in as his dream of attending Todai surrounded by gorgeous Naru-clones and being married to the original one faded away, reducing his net value to about seven yen as he recalled the events of the last few days. Not to mention that he now also noticed that he had woken up inside an oversized 'doghouse' in the royal garden, with his face buried in the armpit of a tiger.
He groaned repeatedly as he crawled out of the cramped sleeping quarters he had shared with Razor. He smelled like... Well... Like he'd slept with a tiger. The unnatural sleeping position had put crimps in just about every part of his body and a few scratches on his arms was evidence that Razor clawed in his sleep.
The beast truly was aptly named.
Keitaro awkwardly stood up, stretching and wincing at the cracking sounds that was emitted from various parts of his body. He yawned and focused a bleary gaze at his surroundings, scratching his belly as he wondered what the time was.
He shuddered as he recalled the events of last night, his wedding night. He'd snuck away from the reception with a bottle in hand, retreated to the bedroom and shared some bourbon with Razor, when Kaolla had arrived. Razor had wisely retreated, something Keitaro wished that he could have done as well.
Kaolla wasn't angry with him, she'd merely been teasing him with her opening remarks.
Oh, how he wished that she'd been angry with him! That would have been oh so much more simple to handle!
But, oh no! His life just couldn't be that simple. Apparently, Amalla had given her a quick lesson on the birds and the bees, a copy of the illustrated Kama Sutra and a copy of the Molmol equivalent thereof. Which seemed to involve a lot more participants and a wide variety of accessories. Kaolla had been intrigued, to say the least, and was more then eager to use her new husband as a guinea pig for some enthusiastic experimentation with various sections from the two books.
After failing to discourage the young woman from that particular course of action, Keitaro had bolted, leaping out of the window. The fact that Kaolla's suit was on the second floor, proved no deterrent for the panicked Ronin, as he had acquired a lot of experience in falling from heights since his arrival at the Hinata Sou.
Kaolla had given pursuit, proving just as much of a challenge to evade as always. No doubt he sported several new scars, burns and bumps on his back. Where she had managed to get her hands on that rocket launcher, was still a mystery. Surely the royal family didn't just keep them lying around the palace, did they?
He'd bumped into the brunette queen in a hallway, who had been more then willing to assist in hiding him away from her 'daughter' and in a moment of bad judgement despite her earlier actions, he had accepted her offer. Naturally, she had taken him to her private bedroom and insisted that he hide in her bed. Then, she had proceeded to strip before joining him under the covers in just mentioned bed.
Apparently, she too had the same books that Kaolla had just received and she had not only read them repeatedly, but even went as far as to memorize both of them and was more then willing to try a few chapters out with Keitaro.
Again, he had bolted, this time minus his suit jacket and shirt. Where the woman had learned to undress someone that quickly, was a mystery.
In his search for a hideout, he'd come across Razors Kaolla-is-in-the-house chosen sleeping quarters in the royal garden and crawled in to join the disgruntled tiger. Razor did not only resent that his mistress was back and that he couldn't sleep in the comfy bed any more, without having to fear getting several ribs cracked by her nocturnal habits. But now he even had to share his Kaolla-free environment with his new drinking buddy? Friendship was all well and good, but there had to be some limits to Razors way of thinking and he decided to kick Keitaro out.
Of course, when the two of them heard Kaolla's voice in the garden, they'd quickly joined forces. Razor had no desire to let his mistress know that he was harboring a fugitive, so he'd used a mighty paw to shove Keitaro all the way into the back, then positioned himself in front of the opening, in order to prevent visibility to the interior of his little domain.
Kaolla had soon continued her pursuit and left the gardens, leaving Razor with a new lodger for the night.
The brunette queen had also come by in search of Keitaro, calling out that she promised to shelter and protect him from the viles of her sinister daughter. The fact that she had been clad in nothing but panties and carrying a whip and a ball-gag, did not inspire much confidence in her proclamations however, so Keitaro had remained hidden inside Razors hut.
"MMRRRRRrrrrrr?" Razor had commented upon the situation, which basically translates to 'The second of the Alpha females, seems to be perpetually in heat. Perhaps if you can be the one to finally knock her up and get her with cubs again, she might settle down a bit. Are you quite certain that you wouldn't be willing to give it a shot?'. Keitaro hadn't understood any of that, but Razor assumed from his lodgers continued stealthy behavior, that he wasn't all that willing to mate with the Alpha female.
Perhaps this newcomer wasn't all that keen on challenging the current Alpha male for dominance just yet. Plenty of the members of this odd pride seemed to be treating the newcomer with an odd amount of reverence, submitting to him. Razor assumed that the newcomer must have challenged and won over quite a lot of them when he hadn't been around to witness it, so he found it odd that Keitaro hadn't challenged the Alpha male yet.
Then again, he had never really understood the odd two-leggers he'd been living with for so long now. He had learned to avoid the Alpha's youngest cub to the greatest extent possible, he had learned to discern the hierarchy the two-leggers operated under and by using scent, body language and audible cues, managed to learn how to tell their moods. But other then that, they were still a grand mystery to Razor.
At least they kept him fed and some of the odd structures in their dens, were quite comfortable to rest upon, even if he had to put up with a lot of things in return. The most disconcerting of which, was the youngest cub of the Alpha female that wasn't perpetually in heat.
In fact, she seemed almost perpetually in cold, if such a term even existed.
The only times she were not, was when she was alone, or believed herself to be alone at any rate, with the Alpha male or the other Alpha female.
Razor had never truly understood that particular aspect of the two-leggers. The two Alpha females were just that, females. Females couldn't produce offspring with one another, so why go through all the trouble of mating, when nothing could ever result of their coupling other then loss of precious energy reserves? Granted, this pride of two-leggers must contain some very skilled hunters, because there was never a lack of food to replenish lost energy with, but it seemed like such a waste anyway.
Two-leggers were odd, there was no denying that.
Keitaro cautiously made his way back into the palace, as Razor studied the departing two-legger with absent interest as a part of his ongoing studies of his current pride.
Keitaro happened to spot the royal family heading for the dining room they tended to use for more intimate gatherings of the immediate family and took the opportunity to head for Kaolla's suit, where a hasty shower, a change of pants and boxers, as well as adding a shirt to his ensemble, did much to improve his current mood.
He even felt comfortable enough, to venture out in search of his new wife, his new in-laws and breakfast. Although not necessarily in that order. The way in which he located them however, was not quite what he expected.
KABLOOOOOOM
"YiiiiiiiiiAAAAAHHHHHH!" Keitaro shrieked as an explosion tore apart the corridor he was walking in, launching him through the air and slammed him through a window in a shower of glass and splinters of wood. He grunted as he impacted a flat surface, then landed on something soft, scented and pliable. He took a few deep breaths and attempted to collect himself, before he realized that the general feeling of whatever had broken his fall, was disturbingly familiar.
It was something which he had become frequently aquainted with since arriving at the Hinata Sou, something which usually got him a solid beating whenever he came into contact with it. He shuddered.
He opened his eyes and found himself staring down at the generous cleavage of the woman who had broken his fall. He put his hands down onto the floor on either side of the woman, pushed up and stared in horror down at the slutty queen, who was gazing up at him with a vapid expression.
"Oh, son-in-law! How bold!" she enthused, then grasped his head and pulled him back down into her cleavage.
"Assassins? Again?" the King sighed, plucking a shard of glass off of the toast he was holding with a slight frown. "Rawan, call the contractors, if you would." he requested of the Royal Chancellor, who often joined the royal family in their little gatherings.
"Of course, your majesty." Lu Rawan replied, bowing in his seat and pressing a speed dial on his cell-phone, plucking a cord-less headset out of a pocket in his robes. "Ah, Nadan. It's me. ... Yeah. ... One of the walls is down, a window and I assume a few doors might need replacing. New carpeting and ceiling. ... Yes... Very well, I'll let security know to expect your team in fifteen. Yes, the usual rates, as always. ... Yes, thank you. Have a pleasant day." he said, wrapping up his conversation. "It shall be dealt with, your majesty." he told the king, then glanced over at the frantic Keitaro who furiously attempted to untangle himself from the clingy queen. "Shall I call a medic over?" he inquired.
"Son-in-law seems like a sturdy lad. He'll be all right." the king commented unconcernedly.
"Very well, your majesty." Rawan responded and rose from his seat. "I'll have the kitchen staff set up a new breakfast in the blue room and then I'll have a little chat with security. By your leave." Rawan announced, bowing before leaving the room.
"Keitaro. If you have sex with one of my moms before you do me, I'll be very cross with you." Kaolla announced from her seat, calmly eating a Kaolla Split for breakfast. Experience and quick reflexes had allowed her to spin around and huddle protectively over her repast to shelter it from debris. She had quite happily proceeded to eat, once the dust had settled.
"You mean that you already haven't?!" the frosty queen demanded, a bit of emotion in her voice for once.
"Nope." Kaolla admitted. "I tried last night, but he got away." she added with a slightly disappointed frown.
"But... You said... You said that you've slept with him several times before." the queen argued.
"Oh, sure. I've slept with him before. I have nightmares when I sleep alone. But I haven't had sex with him before. Or with anyone else, for that matter." Kaolla replied. "Though now I know what Amara-mom meant when she offered to lick my carpet during my last visit." she added, glancing over at her still captive husband. "Amara-mom. Let go of my husband, will you? You can test-drive him for a bit once I've had him."
"But he's so cute!" the brunette queen exclaimed. "He is a little shy, but I've dealt with shy men before!" she added. "I know the purrrrrfect cure for that particular condition." she growled hungrily.
"Help!" Keitaro whimpered from between Queen Amaras generous mounds.
"Amara-mom... Would you really steal his innocence before his wife has had a go at him?" Kaolla asked in a faint voice, moisture in the corners of her suddenly unnaturally huge eyes.
"Aw..." Amara sighed, looking up at the puppy-dog expression of her stepdaughter. "That's cheating, Kaolla." she muttered disapprovingly, reluctantly letting go of Keitaro, who scrambled away on all fours as fast as he could, bumping up against the wall where he staggered into an upright position, flat against the wall. "You're no fun. Either of you." she pouted, adjusting her breasts before getting up.
"You really should try to act more dignified, Amara." the haughty one sniffed.
"Oh, is that so, Ta-chan? Remind me again, just whom was it that spend yesterday night gagged and tied up, upon her own request, I might add?" Queen Amara inquired, archly raising an eyebrow and directing a pointed look at her co-wife.
"You!" Queen Tamawa exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at Amara.
"Oh, yeah. Right. I forgot... But who fingered me to three climaxes, then proceeded to spank and tease me all night long while I was bound'n gagged?" Amara inquired.
"I..." Queen Tamawa started to reply, pointing at herself, before hastily putting the offending appendage down, shutting up with a furious blush.
"So, that's what you two were doing." the king commented with a yawn. "You should have invited me along to watch."
"This whole family is seriously demented..." Keitaro muttered under his breath. "Then again, mine isn't all that much better." he added with a faint sigh.
"Unhand me! Release me, I say!" Motoko ordered, struggling against the seven security guards around her. "And you there, stop fingering my sword!" she added, pulling her left arm free in order to point at an eight security guard, who had partly drawn her sword from the scabbard, fingering the razor-sharp edge of her weapon.
"What is your purpose for coming to Molmol?" a ninth guard asked, ignoring the commotion with Motoko in the background as he instead focused on the other residents of the Hinata Sou.
"We are here to find Urashima Keitaro and make him pay for what he's done." Naru replied with steel in her voice.
"Urashima... Urashima... Why does that sound so fam..." the guard muttered, then blinked as realization struck. "Prince Su! You are here for Prince Su Keitaro?"
"Eunuch Keitaro, once I get my hands on him!" Motoko shouted from underneath a huddle of security guards.
"Yes, Eunuch Keitaro. He must pay, for taking advantage of an innocent young girl like Kaolla." Naru responded, clenching her fists.
"He married my best friend! She married that Ronin! She had to have been brain-washed, or black-mailed, or something." Sarah growled. "We'll force him to release her from his evil clutches and make everything right again."
"Sempai married Kaolla... Sempai married Kaolla... Sempai married Kaolla..." Shinobu repeated over and over again, in muted mutters, a shocked look in her eyes.
"And what about you two?" the guard asked, looking at the last two people in the group.
"Oh, me? I'm just here to see what sort of trouble the others can get themselves into." Kitsune replied with a wide grin. "So far, they've exceeded my every expectation."
"I thought I'd give my nephew a gentle reminder that he ought to have invited his loving aunt to the wedding." Haruka replied, puffing on a cigarette, pointedly ignoring the no-smoking sign. She slowly uncrossed her legs and instead put the leg that had been underneath, on top in a very Sharon Stone:esque manner.
That move would have been much more impressive and interesting to watch, had she not worn slacks on this particular day.
In the next room over, another three security guards didn't have an easier time.
"Let go of me, you brutes!" the irate woman screamed. "I have to kill him! I have to kill him!" she roared and managed to throw one of the guards aside for a few moments, before he grabbed hold of her arm again.
"Now, now, dear... Easy now... Calm down... Think of your blood pressure..." a timid-looking man standing next to the door implored his wife.
"He got married! He got married to a princess! He didn't tell me! He didn't invite me to the wedding!" she screamed right back, kneeing a security guard in the groin. "If that no-good son of mine thinks he'll get away with this, he's got another thing coming to him!" Mrs Urashima bellowed.
And things weren't much of an improvement in the room next to that one either.
"Calm down, Kanako." Granny Hina pleaded.
"I. Am. Calm." Kanako groused, staring with irritation at the lone security guard backed up against the wall, who wished with all his heart that his colleagues who had been called away to help deal with two violent maniacs would return post-haste. The little girl travelling with the old woman was seriously creeping him out.
"Then would you mind not breaking chunks of wood off the table, crushing them in your hands?" Granny Hina requested. "It's disconcerting the poor man and distracting him from his duties."
"Ah, don't worry about it. Really!" the guard said in a shrill voice, trying not to imagine what those relentless hands could do with certain sensitive parts of his anatomy that he greatly valued. "What... Ah... What is your purpose for coming to Molmol?" he inquired nervously.
"Oh, we're just here to see my grandson and visit a few hot springs." Granny Hina answered with a kind smile.
"Yes... I too would like to see my brother. We have... A lot of things to talk about..." Kanako stated in an ice-cold voice, her eyes shooting daggers at the guard who delayed her from finding Keitaro and... Expressing her displeasure with his recent marriage.
Some ways off, back at the royal palace, Keitaro couldn't understand why he kept sneezing. He hoped that it wasn't a summer flu, those were always the hardest to get rid of.
The Royal Groundkeeper was also confused, wondering just why Princess Kaolla's pet was digging a deep hole in the ground underneath its hut. Or why it kept stealing shovels that it bit the wood handles off from, metal trays from the serving staff and the hubcaps from the royal garage.
He had peeked into the animals den while it was away on a supply run and become even more confused, as he saw that the animal had lined the walls of his dug out pit with shovelheads, serving trays, hubcaps, frying pans and other relatively flat metal objects. Also resting in the pit, were two bulletproof vests, a helmet and a supply of food snatched from the kitchen. It almost looked as if the creature was attempting to fashion some sort of shelter in preparation for a siege.
Animals were odd, no doubt about that.
Razor didn't have time to be confused, as he was busy making his way away from the royal gymnasium, with several weights in his mouth. He had taken one whiff of the morning breeze coming from the airport and felt the fur at the back of his neck rise. Without hesitation, he'd hastily dug a hole underneath his den and was now busy lining it with whatever hard objects he could find.
Now all he needed was a supply of water and some sort of lid, to drag over the pit and then stay down there until the danger was over.
The End! ( For now... )