Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson
Summary: The Crimson Moon is about to appear and the time for Kaolla's change is imminent. Amalla remembers about it in time and Kaolla is called back home, to ensure that the foreigners she's living about doesn't find out about her condition. However, Kaolla believes that she might be bored without her usual playmates around and thus arranges for Keitaro to go to Molmol with her, which causes all kinds of havoc!
Disclaimer: Love Hina, Hinata Sou and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine.
Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860 or through e-mail as , more stories are available at my nifty lil' site at or by clicking on my handle up above.
"speech"
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers
/thoughts/
/telepathy/
translation
soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV
She sighed and pulled her legs up underneath her, curling up on the back seat of the car, cuddling up against Keitaro. She didn't want Keitaro to resent her for forcing him into a nookie-less-marriage either. Or, at the very least one that started out like that. Once she was ready, she had a feeling that the marriage would be anything but nookie-less.
She had offered to let Amara-mom 'test-drive' Keitaro for a bit, earlier. Though her careless statement hadn't been seriously meant at the time, perhaps she should allow just that? Amara-mom was certainly more qualified to educate Keitaro in the art of lovemaking then anyone else Kaolla had ever met.
Kitsune would probably agree to such a thing as well, though Kaolla didn't believe that the older girl was anywhere near as experienced as she seemed to hint at on occasion. In fact, Kaolla privately suspected that Kitsune was still a virgin. Or at least, that she hadn't done it more then possibly once.
She would have some thinking to do on this matter before she would be ready to make a decision about it.
But that would have to come later, because she was on her honeymoon now and was just itching for the chance to have some fun before they would have to return for the Week of Ceremonies.
"Ah, so you're the friends of my daughter and my new son-in-law." a tall tanned man in a western-style pin-striped suit commented as he strode into the room, accompanied by a serene-looking equally tanned man dressed in an elaborate robe. The first one was smoking a huge cigar and lazily took in everybody in the room. "Ah, hello, granny." he added as he spotted Grandma Hina amongst the others.
"Your majesty." she greeted him, with a faint curtsy. "It's nice to see you again." she added.
"No need for that sort of thing, granny." he admonished her and took a hit from his cigar. "I'm afraid that you've missed son-in-law and my youngest daughter. They've already left on their honeymoon." he added and smiled. "Might have been a mistake, as my wives have probably started plotting how to end their marriage already." he finished with a wry chuckle.
"What?" Kanako exclaimed, a hopeful note in her voice as she gazed at the king with an eager expression. "He's getting a divorce?"
"The judges are still out on that. Our laws doesn't technically allow for divorces, but if you look deep enough into the books, one can find a precedent for almost anything." the king commented. "And Tamawa can be very effective, once she sets her mind on a particular goal."
"Why are your wives pushing for a divorce?" Grandma Hina inquired.
"Tamawa misunderstood an innocent comment from Kaolla and took it to mean that she'd had sex with son-in-law. So, she made him promise to 'be responsible'. She arranged the whole marriage and only afterwards, found out that no such act had taken place." the king replied, accompanied by various gasps, angry exclamations and relieved sighs from his audience. "Now when she realises that Kaolla didn't have to marry a foreigner without resources, influence and/or valuable connections, she's no doubt plotting to dissolve the marriage in some way." he continued, then laughed. "And Amara is no doubt going along with it, because she believes that it will increase her chances to have sex with son-in-law, who has so far managed to elude succumbing to her perverted viles." he finished with a bemused chuckle, as the accompanying gasps appeared again.
"I suppose you oppose this?" Grandma Hina inquired.
"In my own ways, yes." the king commented with a faint smile. "I have the greatest respect for son-in-law. Even though he was innocent of what he was accused of, he promised to make things right and went ahead with the marriage as not to sully Kaolla's reputation. He's a good man. I've spoken with Kaolla about him and she likes him as well, I think he'll make her happy. It's certainly an improvement over Kaolla having to marry her own brother, as would have been the case had this not happened." he explained and nodded towards Grandma Hina. "I see a lot of you in him. The very same qualities in you, that made me agree to let Kaolla stay at your fine establishment, are present in son-in-law as well. He is a very kind and caring individual. Very pure, loyal and innocent, as well. I don't believe I've ever seen another straight man managing to avoid Amara's tender mercies for as long as he has."
"That pervert?" Naru snorted dismissively, shaking his head. "He peeks, he gropes, he fondles..." she groused, absently adjusting her clothes and blushing faintly as she recalled many previous incidents involving herself and Keitaro.
"I find that hard to believe." the king commented with a raised eyebrow. "The night before the wedding, Chancellor Rawan here heard raised voices from within Kaolla's suite. He entered to examine the situation and found son-in-law having climbed a marble pillar, Kaolla gagged and hog-tied on the floor and my wife Amara naked beneath the pillar, pleading with Keitaro to come down and... What was it she said again, Rawan?" he inquired, turning to face the man who had been silent up until then.
"Queen Amara entreated Prince Su to descend, so that he could... Hrm... 'Sow your wild oats before the wedding and experience the sensual ecstasy that only a woman of my calibre can provide you with.'." Rawan replied, then a hint of a blush appeared on his cheeks. "The Queen then noticed my presence and offered me daily blowjobs for the rest of the month, if I took out my gun and scared Prince Su into descending from his lofty perch." he finished.
"Yes, that was it." the king agreed and turned back to Naru. "Does that sound like the actions of a perverted molester? Wait.. Let me rephrase that. Does Keitaro's actions sound anything like those one might expect from a perverted molester?"
"Ha! That's our Keitaro all right!" Kitsune laughed, slapping Naru's back. "He's almost as terrified of intimacy as you are, Naru." she added.
"I'm not te..." Naru protested, but stopped in mid-sentence. "I'm not." she groused under her breath.
"Where is nephew now?" Haruka inquired.
"Hawaii." the king replied, polishing the nails of his right hand on his rumpled suit. "Daughter and son-in-law decided that a honeymoon was in order." he added with a faint smile.
"A honeymoon?! That pervert took my best friend to Hawaii?!" Sarah exclaimed.
"Be at peace, little one." the king advised. "My daughter can take care of herself and I doubt that she's ready for anything like what you believe is taking place between the two of them. Until such time as she herself decides that it's time to consummate the marriage, I doubt anything you would label 'perverted' will be taking place. Son-in-law is not the sort of man who would force unwanted attentions upon a woman."
"Well he did... But he said that was an accident... But he... No, that was probably an accident as well... But how about when... No, he really could have tripped on those rocket-propelled skates... Or when... No, Motoko's attack threw him at me... There was that time when... No, not then either..." Naru said, trailing off after each time she began to state a case in which Keitaro had acted perverted, slowly coming to the realisation that there hadn't been a single perverted incident that she could recall, in which he had been perverted by choice.
There was that time he had nearly kissed her while she was sleeping, but while it was presumptuous of him, it wasn't a truly perverted act. Besides, he had stopped himself before going so far as to actually kiss her.
"You mean to tell me, that he's been married to Su for three days and still haven't... Uhm... Eh... Consummated the marriage?" Motoko inquired after a few moments, a furious blush on her face.
"He has not." Rawan agreed.
"How do you know?" Motoko countered.
"Chancellor Rawan is in charge of security. Had the marriage been consummated, it would have shown up on at least one of the security tapes, as they have been accompanied by bodyguards during their few outings away from the palace." the king replied. "And had son-in-law done something to my little girl, I'm quite certain that Rawan would have told me. At least if he values his job." he added, with a pointed look at Rawan.
"I would have, your majesty." Rawan agreed. "But the royal couple haven't even kissed, other then at the ceremony itself." he added.
"See? Nothing to worry about." the king commented. "Son-in-law is an honourable man. He will do well as king of Molmol, once that time comes." he added, then blinked as a potential stumbling block occurred to him. "Assuming he survives his Rite of Ascension, that is." he said, taking a few hits from his cigar as he pondered the matter. "Anyway, the two of them are on their honeymoon and we have decided not to press charges for your recent actions here. You are free to go." he finished and turned to leave.
"Though I would advise not trying to bring bladed weapons into Molmol or voicing threats against a member of the royal family again. Such things tend to be frowned upon." Rawan said and turned to face Motoko. "Your sword will be kept safe here until such time as you decide to leave the country. It will be sent along with your flight, as a diplomatic package. You can reclaim possession of it from our embassy in Tokyo." he finished, then trotted after the king.
"Well, this just plain sucks. We're here and they're not!" Sarah commented upon their situation.
"What are we going to do? I can't afford to follow them to Hawaii!" Naru spoke up, a distressed expression on her face.
"I could, but I would rather not, as that would require dipping into the Dojo's already stretched resources." Motoko said after a few moments.
"Why would you? Let the kids enjoy themselves for a while. Keitaro will be back sooner rather then later, he's a responsible young man. He will not shirk his duties as manager for any longer then absolutely necessary. And Kaolla has school, she will not remain gone for long." Grandma Hina said.
"We can't leave them alone, granny. Who knows what that tramp will do with my brother once they're alone!" Kanako protested.
"Kaolla is a nice girl, Kanako." Grandma Hina protested, shaking her head. "You convinced me to come here and I agreed. Not because I believed either one of those two needed watching, but because you wanted to go and I had yet to experience the hot springs of Molmol. We will not go to Hawaii, at least not until I've sampled the local resorts. By which time grandson and Kaolla will no doubt have returned to Hinata Sou already."
"Tramp?" Sarah repeated, glaring daggers at Kanako. "That's my best friend you're talking about, you freak!" she howled, then stalked towards Kanako with her fist clenched.
Security teams one through five are required in the blue room. Security teams one through five are required in the blue room. was heard over the airports intercom system two minutes later, as the argument slash fight had escalated somewhat from its humble beginning.
"Miss Cashdollar?" the evil mastermind called.
"Yes, master?" Miss Cashdollar inquired as she poked her head into the doorway to the motel room.
"There is a cockroach in my abode, Miss Dinerosrubel." he informed her, pointing shakily at the critter in question in one corner of the room. She rubbed her temples, as soon as she was nearby, he managed to mangle her name again. She wasn't even inside the room and he had his back to her this time!
"This was all that our budget could allow, after purchasing our supplies." Miss Cashdollar informed her boss. "You will have to bear with it, master." she added, declining to mention that she had surveyed the rooms first, and decided to take the one without a cockroach in it for herself.
"We will have to work quickly, as I have no desire to remain here any longer then strictly necessary." the evil mastermind spat out, striding forward and crushing the annoying critter with his boot-clad foot. "What means of disposal will we employ?" he inquired.
"I think we'll go with the poison." Miss Cashdollar replied after a moment. "I know just the way to use it too." she added, unconsciously adjusting her tight top. No man could resist her charms and nobody ever suspected the innocent-looking bimbo lounging around after somebody had croaked of any wrongdoings.
She smiled, she could even wear her new bikini and get some sun, while working. It was perfect.
"Mind if I join you?" a sultry voice purred and for a moment, Keitaro thought that Queen Amara had decided to pay them a visit. He yanked the straw hat away from his face and exhaled with relief as he saw that it wasn't her. Then he really took note of just whom it was instead, gaping in shock.
The woman was absolutely stunning and the bikini she wore certainly enhanced that. It was all he could do to prevent himself from drooling as he took in the vision that was standing before him.
"Sure..." he croaked, nodding at the empty chair next to him. As Kaolla had expressed an interest in visiting a nearby research facility to get some ideas for her future inventions, he had elected to stay behind at the hotel instead of spending the entire day being incredibly confused by techno-babble, and was thus currently left to his own devices. He had decided to spend his day relaxing around the pool, recharging his batteries after the incredibly stressful week he had just been through.
"Thank you." the woman drawled and gracefully climbed onto the beach chair, stretching out on her stomach with a pleased sigh and a silence fell over the two of them for a minute, before the woman spoke up again. "Oh! I forgot the sunblock." she exclaimed and rummaged around in the small purse she had brought along, whipping out a bottle of it. "Would you mind rubbing it in? It's kind of hard to get it everywhere it needs to on my own and I wouldn't want to get sunburn." she requested, holding the bottle out towards him.
Keitaro blanched, swallowing nervously several times, before he managed to stutter out his agreement, hoping that it didn't sound as desperately eager as he feared that it did. His hands shook as he accepted the bottle, pouring a dollop into his left hand, before he slowly reached out and started to rub it in, ignorant to Miss Cashdollars feral smirk as he couldn't see her face from where he was standing.
Miss Cashdollar silently cheered. The kid was dead, he just didn't know it yet. She herself had taken the antidote before approaching him, so the poison wouldn't affect her. But he would be dead within the hour.
Of course, she hadn't counted upon the fact that Keitaro was no ordinary man. His inhuman constitution and a supercharged immune system, ensured that he had survived countless incidents that would have killed a lesser man. His immune system swiftly identified the harmful substance as it entered his body through his hands and instantly started working on breaking it down into something less harmful.
The poison was powerful enough that it couldn't be completely neutralised, but at the very least it could be changed enough, that it wasn't lethal or even very harmful.
Of course, the powerful immune system cared little for the fact that the poisons new chemical composition had turned it into a very powerful inhibition-lowering aphrodisiac.
"Hey! The sun won't shine through that." Miss Cashdollar commented a while later, moving a hand down to pluck a rowing hand off her bikini-covered ass.
The kid had guts, she had to give him that. He hadn't seemed like he would have, but appearances could be deceiving, she guessed.
"Hey! What are you doing?" she demanded to know, once she felt his lips brush against the back of her neck.
"Worshipping you, my dear. You are quite lovely, do you know that?" Keitaro inquired. "I'm sorry, but you're so damn beautiful that I just can't control myself." he added, kissing her neck again, taking a whiff of her recently washed hair. "Mmmmm, strawberries... My favourite..." he murmured into one of her ears as Miss Cashdollar found herself increasingly flustered, hoping that the poison would start to work it's magic sooner rather then later!
"Hiya, Keitaro!" Kaolla greeted her husband as she entered the honeymoon suite, then came to a complete stop as she took note of his dishevelled appearance and bruised face. "Yikes, what happened to you? Did Naru follow us to Hawaii?" she inquired, approaching him and surveying the hand-shaped bruises all over his face.
"No..." Keitaro responded despondently.
"Then... What happened? Did you trip and land someplace indecent on a female kick-boxer or something?" she asked.
"No..." Keitaro replied, wincing as he rubbed his left cheek.
"Then... What?" Kaolla asked.
"Don't wanna talk about it..." Keitaro mumbled, silently grateful for the fact that the diplomatic immunity that apparently came along with his Princehood had prevented him from being saddled with several embarrassing sexual harassment charges.
"Somebody hit you!" Kaolla exclaimed. "What happened?!" she demanded to know.
At the same time, back in Molmol, Rawan made a report to the king regarding some inquiries that had been made by the legal system in the USA. What none of the two men knew, was that there was someone listening in on their conversation.
"So, son-in-law has started to get frisky... Come to think of it, I haven't had a vacation in a long time. I hear Hawaii is nice this time of year..." Queen Amara muttered to herself, as she headed for her private suit to pack for her upcoming trip to Hawaii.
At the same time, in a run-down motel room on Hawaii, Miss Cashdollar was mourning the loss of a perfectly good bikini top and cursing herself for nearly succumbing to the enemy. In the end, she had to run from the Prince who had seemed in remarkably good health for somebody who had just been poisoned. Unfortunately, that meant leaving behind her bikini top which the amorous Prince had somehow managed to get off her during a distracted moment.
Nearby, at a nice hotel, scattered over various rooms in it, various females were nursing sore hands and cursing the groping foreigner who had came after them, wearing a bikini top around his neck and apparently searching for additional trophies. To top it all off, the police that had been called to the scene, had been unable to do take him in as he was apparently some foreign dignitary.
Meanwhile, our hero was currently running with his wife in hot pursuit, who insisted that he wore her newly improved Virtual-kun, so that she could find out just what it was that he wouldn't tell her about the events of his day.
He wondered if there was a nearby zoo, where he might be able to find a tiger to share a few drinks and sleeping quarters with.
All in all, just another day in the eventful lives of Prince and Crown Princess Su.
"I guess there's no choice. We can't afford to go after them, so we'll have to go back home." Naru sighed, as the group from Hinata Sou stood in line at the airport.
"Yeah." Sarah groused, severely annoyed at having to give up her quest to save Kaolla from Keitaro's perverted clutches.
"Hey. I've seen you guys before. I think... Aren't you Kaolla's friends?" a female voice inquired and the group turned around, coming face to face with an incredibly attractive older woman, followed by two attendants and two bodyguards. "Yes, you are. I recognise you from the pictures she sent. What are you doing in Molmol?" she asked.
"Uh, excuse me, but... Who are you?" Kitsune inquired, wondering just where she had seen the woman before. She looked somewhat familiar, but she just couldn't place her.
"Oh, how rude of me. I'm sorry. I'm Su Amara, Kaolla's step-mother." the woman introduced herself and it finally clicked in Kitsune's mind. The woman had been on TV, during Keitaros wedding. She was one of the Queens of Molmol!
"Your majesty." Kitsune greeted her, curtsying to the woman. "We came to see Keitaro and Kaolla, but they've left the country. So, we're going back home." she explained.
"Yes, they snuck off to Hawaii. Thought he could get away from me, eh? No way!" Amara exclaimed, pumping a fist up into the air. "I'll show him!" she added, then looked speculatively at the group from Hinata Sou. "Say... I've got an idea. Why don't you come with me to Hawaii? I'm going there anyway to sedu... Eh, to see my son-in-law. ... And my daughter, of course." the woman offered.
"We'd love to, but we can't afford it." Kitsune replied.
"Is that all? No worries, I'm taking the royal jet to Hawaii. You can come with me as my guests." Amara offered, then smiled. "And I won't charge you anything for it... Or at least, I won't charge you money for it." she added, slithering up to Kitsune, stroking her cheek. "You're a very sexy little thing, girl. Did you know?" she purred, as her hand moved from Kitsune's cheek down to her breasts. "Well endowed too!" she approved with a sultry grin.
"What are you doing?!" Naru exclaimed, aghast at the Queens improper behaviour.
"Oh, don't fret. I'll do you later if you want." the Queen said, completely focused on Kitsune for now, clinging to the younger girl and rubbing her cheek against Kitsunes in a very Kaolla-like manner. Of course, Kaolla usually settled for rubbing cheeks together, not cheeks and breasts while simultaneously caressing ones butt-cheeks. "Or if you guys are feeling adventurous, I wouldn't mind a three-some."
The End! ( For now... )