Disclaimer: I don't own Dynasty Warriors.
Dynasty Warriors: Deserving Franchise or a Hateful One
At Koei Headquarters…
Everyone is sitting at a group table discussing the latest news on various Dynasty Warriors bashing and haters who dislike the game by ever getting popular today. Zhuge Liang called everyone in this meeting except Zhao Yun who is absence.
"Ladies and Gentlemen as you already know our fabulous company is getting tons of hate mail and media negativity regarding to the Dynasty Warriors franchise. Koei won a couple of awards beloved by it's homebase Japan and other east Asian countries," Zhuge Liang announced.
"Great, another pointless meeting you brought us in, Zhuge Liang," Zhou Yu amused.
"But, it sounds interesting. Whoever dislikes Dynasty Warriors is badmouthing me," Sima Yi grinned.
"They'll pay for talking trash to the company that made me famous for being the most bad ass character in the game," Cao Cao argued.
"Or the hottest babe," Diao Chan winked
"Oh really?" the Qiao sisters give that funny glare at Diao Chan.
Somehow, this meeting is a rehash of last time.
"I remember we once had this meeting about that bothersome loser. Coincidence?" Cao Pi grinned.
"Brat, you dare taunt our little brother!" Zhang Fei wants to smash this wannabe coolest emperor in the face so badly.
"I dare and you three brothers really are the ugliest. One of the reasons people are disliking Dynasty Warriors," Cao Pi rolleyed.
"Damn, why bring your jackass son in this meeting, Cao Cao?" Liu Bei sighed.
"Hey hey! I couldn't control this child!" Cao Cao raised his eyebrow.
"Where's Zhao Yun?" Taishi Ci asked.
"He's not coming," Zhuge Liang answered.
"Fine, let that pussy be. He's too scared to even show himself to me for ruining my car!" Xiahou Dun said.
"On with the discussion. Why is our game being hated?" Sun Quan questioned.
"After the climax success of Dynasty Warriors 3 Xtreme Legends, Koei did some changes of Dynasty Warriors 4. However, those changes had left gamers who tend to play games for being perfected or are the next big thing to revolutionize the gaming industry. Also, the 50 stages in DW4 are of course the same with different factors to achieving," Zhuge Liang said.
"In other words, Koei is starting to milk the DW franchise," Lu Meng added.
"Of course they are! Look at Dynasty Warriors 4 Xtreme Legends. The second expansion and it pains a lot of gamers for wanting more and more new stuff," Lu Xun said.
"Although, DW4 Xtreme Legends give us new stuff that the original doesn't have the disc space to add it," Zhuge Liang said.
"What could our fans possibly wanted more than they expected?" Sima Yi questioned.
"Correct, the western fans of America and Europe," Zhuge Liang said.
"HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH, those fans!" Sima Yi laughed.
"Hey, isn't America and Europe have some good food over there?" Xu Zhu said.
"Why are you thinking about food in an important meeting here we're about to bring those haters to justice!" Ma Chao is annoyed by Xu Zhu randomness.
"Hm, do not underismate those fans. They love their first person shooters, action and PC junk," Cao Cao said.
"I like first person shooters," Xiahou Yuan said.
"So do I, punk. I fragged you on Halo 2 online a lot," Huang Zhong said.
"You're just cheap and broken old man! Show some real skill or I'm not playing against you at all," Xiahou Yuan argued. He even got complains from his sons on Huang Zhong's cheating.
"So a fanbase from the west and beyond disliking our games for getting popular," Zhou Tai muttered.
"But, but, our section in is getting popular too. We're above games like Dead orAlive, King of Fighters, Street Fighter, and even Soul Calibur, Tekken, and Virtua Fighter," Sun Shang Xiang said.
"Dynasty Warriors was once a 3D fighter now realign into a 3rd person beat em up," Pang De said.
"You weren't in DW1. I would love to go back to that platform fighting you one on one in new texture rendering," Guan Yu said.
"The author of this fic really want Koei to go back to it's fighting game roots in 2D," Zhuge Liang said.
"A 2D fighting game version of Dynasty Warriors makes a whole lot of different," Xu Huang said.
"But, is 2D beautiful?" Zhang He asked.
"2D is animation, 3D is texture," Sima Yi said.
"Excuse me, but why is Dynasty Warriors is getting so much hate over there?" Sun Ce asked.
"It's the same," Zhuge Liang sighed.
Everyone went silence as if that answer had already been noticed. Lu Bu scratches his head wanting to speak out.
"Am I to blame for the way Koei made me in every sequel? I'm just too good.." Lu Bu sweatdrops.
"Because of you you stupid beast, Koei still haven't decide to change you for being top tier in every game and still the most popular and playable character now those spoiled Lu Bu fans of yours are blaming that the game keeps being the same," Cao Cao said.
"Hmm, but in DW5, everything became out of control. We have our own masou mode stories, Cao Cao and the limited of 4, 5, and 8 stages of each characters," Yuan Shao said.
"It's clear that the reason the franchise keeps getting punked out like that on the media is because Koei tried so hard to use up every ounce of development power in the Playstation 2. Hadn't we knew by now that Sony lied to over 70 million Playstation 2 users saying that the game can get Toy Story graphics," Zhuge Liang cover his mouth with his fan.
"Damn it, why make DW 5 on the PS2 first when they should of done it on the Xbox to ground up. Look at Ubi Soft, they did it with Splinter Cell 3 Chaos Theory, both PC and Xbox went first to develop, then downgrade it to port on PS2," Sima Yi argued.
"Because our series has been with the playstation family since the first game came out and don't forget the Three Kingdoms series too," Yue Ying said.
"Gah, just because Dynasty Warriors is from playstation doesn't mean Sony give Koei exclusive rights to it," Sima Yi said.
"Hurray for making an Xbox360 version on High Definition," Guan Ping shrugs.
"I'll second that," Gan Ning said.
"Is Dynasty Warriors 6 really going to change that on PS3? I mean, Sony still haven't show any real specs of PS3 except saying that it's more powerful than the Xbox360," Guan Yu concerns keep everyone thinking over the future of the Dynasty Warriors franchise.
"The only real next gen is the game being graphically impressive on High Definition and Xbox360 is already showing that by fact," Zhou Yu said.
"As much as I'm impress of the tech demos on Koei's original PS3 games, I don't think it will really look that good," Zuo Ci said.
"Every tech geek knows that," Xing Cai said.
"Hey if they don't like the main Dynasty Warriors, why not stick with Dynasty Warriors Empires," Zhu Rong said.
"Yeah, Empires was meant to be more different over the main game," Meng Huo agreed.
"Your in good luck. Dynasty Warriors 5 Empires is already making its way this year," Zhuge Liang smiled
"Expect more hate coming from our western neighbors," Cao Cao sighed.
"Argh, not another Dynasty Warriors. Koei make it stop, you're being like EA," Sima Yi teased.
"Not funny, Sima Yi. EA are EVIL,' Cao Cao said.
"Yes, they indeed are an evil gaming cooperate," Liu Bei nodded.
"Koei never sold us out didn't they," Guan Ping asked.
"No" They all answered.
"Well, except our author, he feels disappointed to how Zhao Yun's DW5 masou mode is and being weaken a lot for one who is truly the strongest and last surviving Five Tiger General," Zhuge Liang said.
"What did the author of this fic says," Sima Yi whispered.
"He's tired of Zhao Yun's depowering in every game and wants Koei to create Zhao Yun's own game separate from the rest of us," Zhuge Liang whisper back.
"Ah, sounds like an interest suggestion," Sima Yi still cool with himself.
"What are you two mumbling about?" Cao Pi asked.
"Oh, nothing," They both excuse themselves.
"May I ask, why are you always being the head spokesperson in this meeting? Does the guy pay you more because you're the best strategist in 3rd century?" Zhou Yu questioned.
"No, it's because he picks me as best for the job. Really, these discussions tend to be rather bothersome from the level of you and presumably Sima Yi's," Zhuge Liang said.
"If it was me, I'll add some twist of insanity to the mix," Sima Yi laughed wicked.
Poor Zhou Yu, he felt like being 3rd best because he died before those two. At least, he got better physical abilities over the two cowardly strategists.
"Ok, let me get this straight. The uncivilized pests hate Dynasty Warriors because the series is always the same and milked hard. It took number five to make me into a playable character," Cao Pi amused.
"Except your character is bogus," Ling Tong said sarcastically.
"Silence, you low rank trash! You should know you're the most useless character next to Xu Zhu, Dian Wei, Zhang Jiao, Dong Zhuo and those disgusting Nanman savages except the amazons, I can use those," Cao Pi scold.
"Don't even think about taking me as your wife," Zhu Rong enraged.
"How come I don't get some special evolution charge like him," Gan Ning said.
"What special evolution charge?" Sun Cei asked.
"Hahaha, still the 2nd best kingdom goers and have not seen the last of my awesome addition….DEATH BALL!" Cao Pi chuckled evilly.
"I've seen Cao Pi do his Death Ball a couple of times," Zhen Ji sighed.
"I don't get it, why him and not me? I'm suppose to be the coolest character in Dynasty Warriors, not this…this…damn," Gan Ning crosses his arms.
"How dare Koei give him such a add on 7th charge!" Zhang Jiao outraged.
"You're charges are still useless bandit," Cao Pi mocked.
"Come to think of it, the real problem with Dynasty Warriors 5 is you. Koei been paying too much attention with your character, your story, your moves, and the most arguable top pairing you and Zhen Ji," Zhang Fei stares at Cao Pi.
"Not to mention, he also have one of the best masou modes," Zhou Yu said.
"His…are…boring…" Wei Yan muttered.
"You …need…grammar…lessons…" Cao Pi taunted.
"Hmph" Wei Yan said enough.
"I wonder if my relationship with Shang Xiang is also a problem with the game?" Liu Bei puzzled.
"Oh don't even think about my ending…" Sun Shang Xiang slaps her forehead.
"Or rather my quotes, FEAR THE TIGER OF JIANG DONG!" Sun Jian chanted.
"Gah, that quote is so annoying," Dong Zhuo said.
"I wish I said something like that at Wan castle…" Dian Wei cried over the lack of fear factor in his character.
"Oh Dian Wei! All shall fear you whenever we continue on winning battles," Cao Cao gave his favorite toy a hug.
"Ew, now there's an idea for a Yaoi fic," Sima Yi groaned.
"Hmph, it don't matter if they hate Dynasty Warriors or not. Dynasty Warriors is made for people who like Dynasty Warriors and educate true might," Zhang Liao said.
"Amen…" Zhou Tai conjure.
"So, now we end our discussion. Any last minute suggestions?" Zhuge Liang asked.
"How about not bring our games over there anymore? If they don't like Dynasty Warriors or if they don't like the story of my life and the most beautiful wife I've wed, then why even bother buying the damn game the first place. Those pests should be ashame. I have no need of wanting fans from all other countries besides Japan, China, Korea, and other East Asia countries who know us," Cao Pi said.
"But, Koei will end up going out of business if they continue focusing the asian market," Pang Tong said.
"Then, I really don't care…" Cao Pi stare at everyone coldly.
"Hm, Capcom made a game called Sengoku Basara which is known as Devil Kings in American. Heard it blows Dynasty Warriors away gameplay wise," Cao Ren said.
"Devil Kings is shallow, knowing capcom so much on making rushdown crazy combo games like the VS series. Also they are the fathers of milking franchise," Cao Cao said.
"Capcom, Namco, EA, even Nintendo, Sega, Squareenix, hell they milk things far worse than Koei," Zhou Yu sighed.
"I know…for the sake of being fair to our fans…I know," Zhuge Liang said.
The door opens revealing the secretary.
"Excuse me, but somebody ordered a banquet of roses and the card says here to Cao Pi," the man said.
"Eh? I didn't order any roses. Zhen Ji?" He turns to his beloved.
"It isn't me. Since when did you gave me any roses, Pi Pi," Zhen Ji just looks at the man before her grinning.
Cao Pi reads the letter then another man came and bring more roses and another.
"What the hell is going on here!" Cao Pi anger shows the nonsense spreading at the meeting room. Zhen Ji just ignores her husband and smells the roses. She thinks she knows where they're coming from and whom it's really for.