Colossal Mistakes and Tiny Miracles
Prologue – The Exponential Growth of Dissatisfaction
Once upon a time, in a small, somewhat peaceful town by the sea lived a young girl and a young boy. They were the best of friends. They grew up together, relying on each other and trusting each other with their very lives. And the funny thing is, they each, even at the youngest part of their friendship, held this trust and reliance that the other had for them in the highest regard. They would do anything for each other.
And perhaps that is where the problems begin. Sometimes, when a boy and a girl love each other so much, that in and of itself can cause problems. It did in this case, I am sad to report. You see, the girl loved the boy just a little more than she should have. Oh, she knew that her love was too much, and she was very careful not to let him know the full scope of it, but in the end, it still ruined everything.
From the day they met in elementary school – she defended him from bullies, by the way – they were inseparable. A better friend neither had, a better friend neither could want. But perhaps, just perhaps, that is where the problems began.
You see, she loved him in a way that went beyond friendship, which is all that he felt for her. And that hurt her and subsequently hurt their friendship. It sustained nicely through elementary school, when her crush was just that, an innocent little crush. Something undeniable and intangible, but there nonetheless. It flourished in middle school when he became popular and she began to hero worship him as he moved into the spotlight, leaving her in the dark. And in high school, when she dated the occasional guy from her advanced placement classes and he slept every cheerleader to wear the uniform for four years, they were as close as ever.
But her crush and hero worship, once so innocent and unimposing became a focus. And she was jealous. Jealous of the girls that he was sleeping with, and even a little jealous of all the attention he was getting that she wasn't. She did her best not to let it affect her, and she actually was fairly successful in this regard. He never knew how much she hated what he was doing, how he was living his life, and he certainly never knew that she hated it because she wanted him for herself.
No, it was in college that a sense of distance appeared between the two. That was when he started to feel it, too. It startled him; for he had been so oblivious to nearly everything but his own life that he felt like this was very out of the blue. Like a sucker punch to the gut, in some ways. She didn't say anything about it, though, and so he followed her lead and kept his mouth shut, too.
It became glaringly, painfully obvious to him, though, that something – maybe many things – had changed between them. By their senior year, despite the fact that they shared an apartment, the distance was fairly great. It scared him, but from what he could tell, she either didn't notice or didn't care. Besides, she had her friends, and he had basketball and his girlfriend. She was younger; 18, and a young 18 at that. He didn't care, though. She hero-worshipped him, and made him feel big and strong and important.
And his friend didn't anymore. He didn't know what to make of that. The girl, while seeming outwardly happy and sunny, was a bit of a mess inside. Oh, she wasn't the type of girl that would base her whole existence around a boy – she's not that silly. But the gradual loss of his friendship had taken its toll, and she was different inside. Stronger, more mature, and much, much more independent than she'd ever been before. And he noticed all of this, and he wasn't exactly sure what to make of it, how to deal with it.
Some would call it cowardly, their method of non-dealing, but they considered it self-preservation.
It was very much as if they didn't know each other anymore. That scared both of them, to varying degrees. Perhaps to your surprise, it scared him quite a bit more than it scared her. Perhaps she'd had the time to prepare herself for this eventuality that he hadn't, and so it didn't catch her off-guard. Heck, perhaps she'd even come to anticipate the day that things blew up in their faces, throwing their entire world off-kilter.
But then again, how do you anticipate something like that?