Disclaimer: Er... yeah.

Author's Notes: So this was supposed to be a collection of oneshots, but... now it's not. Just one short story. So... enjoy and review. Please.

Aliss

Shut Up

Sometimes I just can't take it anymore. Sometimes it pushes me over the edge. Sometimes it makes me want to just cradle her face in my hands and tell her to shut up.

She thinks everything about her is perfect. She thinks she knows everything. She thinks she's always right. She thinks she knows what everyone needs. She thinks that if it's right for her, it's right for everyone.

But it's not.

I have those days where I just want to walk up to her and tell her she's wrong; she's wrong about everything.

She's not perfect, and she doesn't know everything, and she's not right for once in her life, and she most certainly doesn't know what everyone needs.

Because I need her.

She doesn't seem to think so, but I know that if there was only one thing that Lily Evans was wrong about, this would be it.

She doesn't like me, to put it simply.

For some reason, she's always able to find and point out every one of my flaws and mistakes; she seems to make a point of reliving every one. If I did something wrong, she was the first to tell me I screwed up. If I missed a Heads' meeting, she was the first to reprimand me for it. If I got a low grade, she was the first to say she expected better of me.

And every time I hear her bringing me down, I can't help but feel that I'm not good enough for her. No wonder she doesn't want me; I'll never be able to live up to her standards. No matter what I do or how hard I try, I can't get it right. Regardless of how hard I work or how mature I am, I'm just not as hard-working or as mature as I should be for Lily Evans.

And sometimes I hate her for that.

I hate her for putting me through what she has and for sending me on a mission I'll never be able to complete… because I'll never be able to possess the qualities she wants.

And sometimes — sometimes — I think she loves me, too.

Loves to hate me, that is.

If she has the chance to rebuke me, she'll do it in a heartbeat. If she has an excuse to yell at me, she wouldn't give it up for the world. If she finds out I've done something — anything — wrong, she'll make sure to drop everything for an hour-long speech on morals and upholding my authoritative position.

And those are the days I'd give anything to make Lily Evans shut up.

Those are the days that I'm sick of hearing every negative thing about me that she can think of, as creative as they can be.

Those are the days that I'm sick of her being in my way and making me regret my actions.

Those are the days I try to ignore Lily Evans and get on with my life.

So maybe I gave a Slytherin a detention. Is that a valid reason for her to admonish me and tell me that as Head Boy, I should be for school unification?

Maybe I'm all for that school-wide togetherness, but that still doesn't validate that Slytherin's actions. I know for a fact that she would've given him detention as well for picking on those first year Ravenclaws.

She just assumes I'm being irresponsible and misusing my authority for revenge on inter-house prejudices when I'm just trying to help out some younger students.

She never asks why and always assumes I'm the one who's done something wrong.

It's simply amazing the way she seems to zoom down the corridor the instant I hand out a detention. I don't think it's giving us the best image; the Head Girl questioning the Head Boy's moves and following his actions like a hawk.

She just can't seem to accept the fact that I've grown up, that I've actually matured. She just can't seem to understand that she's not the only one who's grown up… who's changed… who's stopped picking on Slytherins… for her….

She doesn't see that… she only sees my faults.

If I had to choose one thing about Lily Evans that I don't particularly… enjoy, it would be the way she likes to point out my blunders. She seems to have a vivid memory of every single thing I've ever done wrong.

If my ego ever seems to be "out of check," as she's so fondly dubbed it, she'll fish out one of those supposed memories that are all perfectly preserved and make a point of repeating it word for word, despite the fact that several of the stories I have no memory of whatsoever. But of course, because she is the one and only Lily Evans, she must be correct. She would never make up a story about James Potter.

Who ever would?

Those are the times I'm so fed up with her embroidered accounts of my life that I feel like telling her to shut up and just go away. I feel like telling her to get out of my way and get her nose out of my business. I feel like telling her I'm my own person and she can't stop me from doing anything that I want to. I feel like telling her that no matter what she says to me, for one day out of my pathetic life, I'm not going to care.

I'm tired of her larger-than-life expectations for everything from studies to Head Boy duties. I'm sick of trying to reach her ridiculous goals for my own life. I can't stand listening to her lecture me for one more minute.

She can choose the fate of her own life, but she can't choose mine for me.

FIN.