His bed felt cold and empty, was he used to the feeling...sure. It used to be a place where he could forget everything and lay sprawled out comfortably, and perfectly content with staring at the ceiling. Connecting the paint designs to make animals or objects, it was a place where the aches and pains of living and thinking would down to a dull hum in the back of his mind. Now, now the warm and and comfortable cove of comforters and pillows did what everything else did. Wracked his brain with mixed emotions unable of construing.
Three months. Thats how long she'd been gone, and still, her scent lingered around his room. Berries n' Creme. Gone again but he didnt know if it was her fault or his fault this time. Honestly, he didnt know whos fault it was the first time. His for pushing her away, or hers for making him push her away. The leg, the smoking, the fights mostly forgiven but not all. Their night together it was so special and forgiving, open wounds had begun to heal.
The next day while in the open corridor he'd watched her wheel Mark to physio, the smile they exchanged had insisted they'd forgiven and forgotten. House wondered if it would ever be that easy if Stacy and him were to get back together. He couldnt change for her, his work and love for medicine had become his number one priority over the past five years. What if he couldnt let her back in or couldnt deal with having himself vulnerable again. She had the key to his heart but what if the lock jammed, or was to rusted and iced over to be unlocked.
He didnt want to hurt her again and if he didnt change, how was he going to do that. He was all about rationality, everything must have an explanation. The rational side of him knew they shouldnt be together but the irrational side was telling him to take her back and give all the love he had to give. Can you defy destiny and fate?
3 months to today (The Roof)
Greeted with a kiss, unexpected even though they're at their special spot. He returns it with the same passion as the night before, breaking away with a smile. It quickly fades when he looks at her and remembers what he needs to say.
"New case?" She asks. He's almost tempted to say yes and postpone this moment so he can savor the feeling of being this close to her ever again.
"No, just thinking," He replies. She smiles and presses her lips lightly to his again.
"Last night was fun," She whispers into his ear. His eyes close at the warmth that tickles his earlobe, once again savoring.
"Yeah it was, I see you haven't lost your beastly touch." He almost laughs at the blush that runs up her neck, but frowns again at the words that are about to leave his mouth. He looks away for a bit, his arm still perfectly fit around her waist. Perfectly. That thought was making it all the more harder. With a weary, regretful sigh he begins.
"Stace, we cant do this, its---your're just better off without me."
She looked at him so confused, better off without him? She shook her head and stepped back from their embrace. "Greg, wha-"
"I'll just, I'll never be what you want. I want you to be happy and you said it yourself when you were with me you were lonely."
Looking into her eyes, he saw the equivalent of confused, surprised and heartbreak. They almost looked of innocence. He mentally winced when a tear slid down her cheek. His calloused thumb swiped it away.
"Mark will get better, he'll let you back in again. Just give him time, and if he dosent you can beat him with a stick."
He saw a smile curl at her lips and allowed himself one as well. "I love you," he whispered. He lifted her chin up and wiped away another tear.
"I love you to," She choked out. Those words tore at his heart and he needed to leave before he took back everything.
"I know, just be happy"
With one last swab to her cheek, he glanced around at the fluttering snow, twisting and turning, and then back to her broken eyes before limping to door and heading back inside. He learned later on that day that she was resigning. There was no goodbye. That night scotch was his best friend.