For Eternity

Pairing: Kyo/Tohru

Summary: Never had Kyo felt something akin to that despair. Spoilers for chapter 122.

Disclaimer: Fruits Basket and its characters do not belong to a penniless student. Thank you very much.

Author's Notes

This is slightly experimental and not perfectly written. It is merely an attempt to show my adoration for a wonderful chapter; therefore, do not expect too much.

He could not believe it.

Kyo stood-momentarily dumbfounded-before the entrance door, listening carefully to the conversation that promised nothing consolatory. Indeed, the only thing it promised was another series of heartache and all consuming self-hatred that seemed to accompany his life. There seemed to be no way of escaping it.

Why can nothing ever be good? I only wanted to protect her, not for something terrible to happen.

It seemed that Tohru was gravely injured, which struck him as odd because he had shared a rather intense discussion with her a few hours ago. In fact, Kyo had never experienced her that way before: passionate, daring and beautiful in every sense of the word; it had cost him all his self-control not to grab her shoulders then and capture her lips with his own.

That look in her eyes- it seemed as if there was a passionate flame burning there. The words she spoke. I never imagined that Tohru could be that straightforward.

Nevertheless, instead of deepening their bond, Kyo had decided to run away. It had seemed to be the only solution, the only possible way of not hurting her. Subconsciously, however, he knew that he had run away in order to protect himself from a delusion or the chance of being hurt again. After all, he was nothing but a coward.

Maybe I ran away because I was scared of being hurt. I could not dare to believe that someone could forgive such a hateful crime. I could not believe that she would accept me with arms wide open, even after having heard such a devastating confession. God, I was never more frightened. Still, Tohru has to be alright. It is impossible that..

Yet, here he stood, hearing that fatal, unwelcome intelligence. Hearing Akito- frail and unassuming- weep helplessly in some dark corner like a forlorn orphan, who was waiting for someone to take pity on him. He did not understand anything of all this; it seemed as if everything had fallen prey to utter chaos.

It was entirely impossible and the scene that unfolded before his eyes was utterly surrealistic, nightmarish even. And Kyo had experienced many nightmares before-enough nightmares to haunt for the rest of his life. That he was absolutely certain of.

However, never had he felt something akin to that sheer despair nor horror that seemed to literally embrace his trembling body. He wanted to crush a bottle, smash a table, anything just to make this sickening feeling subside. Anything to make to make her feel better. If it had secured her well-being in any way, Kyo would have even kissed the damned rat without any single hesitation. He loved her that much.

Tohru can't be hurt. She just can't. I shall not believe it; it is a lie. They are joking -Shigure wants to play mind games with me again. This all a cruel mockery of some kind to make me lose my mind. Wait, I have to check and see for myself. Yes, see for myself...

There seemed to be a morbid atmosphere lingering about the house, warning the place of impending doom and an uncertain future. Still falling restlessly upon the muddy ground, the filthy water droplets seemed to reinforce that feeling of dread and the greyish black clouds cast a sombre blackness over the place.

I have to go. Have to go and see. Standing here dully will neither help me nor Tohru any further.

Feeling the oppression of that place, Kyo ran past the shocked faces of his housemates with the alacrity of a madman. Feet that had enabled him to escape before, now brought him back to his special person. Past lining trees, bushes and dirty grass he ran while his heart beat feverishly in his chest. It seemed as if he was running out of time; he felt as if he could not be there fast enough. Therefore, he kept on dashing until he would reach her. Be near her.

I bet she is fine, after all. She has to be. I could never forgive myself if she were hurt. Never, because it was my duty to protect her from such things. That is why I ran away in the first place. A smile like hers should not cease to be. God, why did I just run away like that? Why? I am such an idiot. Such a foul monster. Here she is. She..

Then he saw her, sprawled on the ground: lifeless and deathly pale- looking like a fallen fairy. A petite fairy that seemed to have lost her wings and had been doomed to perish- alone and forgotten. In spite of that peculiar appearance, however, she had retained her pure beauty and looked as if she were merely engulfed in some deep slumber.

Tohru. God ,Tohru what happened? Please, do not be dead.

For a moment, the boy could do nothing but stare dumbly at Tohru until his hand reached out for her.

Kyo had to do so in order to ascertain that this was no deceiving vision but reality. If his curse had not existed, he would have taken her into his arms. Sadly, the only thing that fate permitted him to do was to touch her with his hands. With hands that shook intensely as if they had a life of their own.

She looks as if she were merely asleep. Serene and beautiful; I need to touch her. Just to assure myself that she is not dead.

For a moment, he believed to hear Yuki's voice telling him something or warning him but Kyo did not understand. He was only aware of Tohru and nobody else. Yet after having touched her gently, he withdrew his hand- only to find it tainted with blood.

It was a ghastly sight that nearly made him convulse with disgust for it reminded Kyo of something dreadful. It made him recall that particular day again, making him relive the horrors once more; there was no escaping it. He was forced to endure that suffocating pain all over again. Over and over again.

Subsequently, Kyo's eyes widened in a nearly comical manner, his voice broke into a whisper and tears started to flow shamelessly down his face. It seemed as if something within Kyo had broken, lost its hold of him. He was crying without restraint and it seemed as if the insurmountable guilt that had rested on his shoulders for so long, was threatening to fall upon him. Threatening to collapse under him and heighten his sufferings even more- Kyo was doomed, in all the vicious meaning of the word.

I just..I never wanted. Why..Please talk to me. DO SOMETHING.

All of a sudden, a hand- small and gentle in comparison to his- ever so tenderly made contact with his cheek and Kyo shivered; Tohru was looking directly at him with a loving expression in her eyes. An expression that spoke volumes of her love and seemed to want reassure him of her well-being. It was frighteningly beautiful and so very typical of Tohru, that even more tears escaped his moistening eyes.

So warm. Your touch is so warm; it nearly makes me forget that you are hurt.

There was no sign of hatred in her eyes, only acceptance and understanding- Tohru could never hate anybody. Normally, this would have made him feel comforted and euphoric with love; however, at that very single moment, he only felt anguish and heartbreak. He only felt shame.

Tohru was whispering while her one hand cupped his cheek as if she meant to stop the tears from falling. Her voice- calm and gentle- spoke words of reassurance, trying to lighten the sombre mood that surrounded them. In some way, she seemed to be so serene and peaceful as if life had gained a new meaning for her. Maybe it had, Kyo could impossibly know.

I think I understand. You truly do care about me. Enough to forgive me. And I did that to you. I ran away from your feelings. Forgive me, even if I shall never forgive myself.

Struggling to talk once more, Tohru moved her mouth to speak but no sound came out; she had severe difficulty to even keep her eyes from closing. It made him feel even more miserable to see her trying to tell him something of importance but not finding the sufficient strength to do so; she seemed incredibly weak and precious to him at that very moment. Precious in a way, she had never been before.

Once more, Kyo felt the urge to embrace her frail body and to soothe her with comforting words. But he could not.

Thus, his lips tentatively-nearly hesitantly - met hers in a bittersweet kiss, allowing himself to do something that he had desired for a long time. It was his first kiss but he felt neither shame nor fear, he only felt love. A passionate emotion that seemed to enwrap his very soul and make him feel immensely light-hearted. Moreover, he also wanted to return some of the kindness Tohru had shown him in the past; he needed to consol her. She deserved that. More than anyone else.

Please stay here, so I can properly make you mine. Don't leave me.

For a millisecond, he believed to hear a small gasp coming from Tohru but he did not care. Nothing really mattered to him anymore but the soft sensation of her lips. Despite that, it slightly comforted him to know that Tohru was still breathing and here with him, it meant that nothing was over yet. In a certain way, it gave Kyo a feeling of hope.

I will never leave your side again. Ever.

It was a wonderful emotion to share this new-found intimacy with her, knowing that nobody else could do so. He was the first and only one to be with her in such a manner. Furthermore, it was a vow for a future yet to come. It was his promise to never run away again and to keep on living. Even if Tohru was no longer by his side.

Owari