Freedom on the inside
Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own anything to do with Dark Angel. They apparently belong to some guy who is most definitely in need of a brain check. What was he thinking when he decided to axe the show? Oh well, I guess when I'm rich enough I'll just have to buy the rights to the programme and then we'll finally get a third season. I wouldn't count on it though.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: M/A (eventually!)
Summary: What if Max never escaped Manticore in 'Designate This' and didn't get the chance to infect Logan? Logan and everyone else in Seattle thinks she's dead and Renfro's still alive?
Author's Note: I know there's been a lot of 'what if she never escaped stories?' but this is my shot at what could have happened. Please read and review!
Chapter Twenty-Two
Best of Both
"Shit," Alec muttered again, looking away from Max and running his hand back and forth once through his messed up hair.
A thousand or more emotions pulsed through his blood, making him feel sick to the stomach.
The odd thing was that he knew that this was what he had wanted for so long. In some ways he had had a little 'thing' for Max ever since he had first met her, and she responded the best way she knew how – bodily harm – an amazing kick, which had left him in pain and not just of the physical kind. But he had learnt to squash those feelings fast. He wasn't going to make the same mistake as he had done with Rachel. But that of course hadn't been the case; his feelings for Max had always existed but only managed to resurface now with the kiss.
The kiss had been amazing; that he wasn't going to argue. Sure it had been unexpected, but with the surprise and pleasure also came the sickening feeling of guilt. Alec wasn't one to steal some other guy's girl, and that's exactly what was happening. He knew for a fact that he didn't want to be painted the 'bad guy' – and now it was already too late.
And so he said the only thing that was relevant:
"I'm sorry," he mumbled. Without looking at Max, he moved out from in front of her and walked straight out the kitchen and out the front door.
He hadn't slammed it shut, he had actually shut it quite calmly, but the sound of wood on wood continued to reverberate in Max's eardrums.
She stood frozen in her place.
'I'm sorry?' What on Earth had he meant by that? If anyone should be sorry, it should be her. Max was overridden with guilt. She was the one who had made the move, knowing full well she was already in another relationship, and Alec was apologising?
Max let the tears of her confusion and guilt fall; she had really made a mess of things this time and now there would be no one left to help pull her out from under the tides of her trouble.
"Hey Alec man, you ok?" Sketchy asked slamming Alec on the back as he walked up to the bar he was sat at.
"Yeah I'm fine," Alec said gulping down the last drops of his beer.
"Really?" Sketchy asked obviously unconvinced. "So that's why you're not chatting up the hot ladies by the pool table?"
"What?" Alec asked staring up at him.
"No you're definitely fine," Sketchy responded sarcastically, "definitely fine."
"Yeah I am," Alec nodded before his phone started ringing.
"Hang on man, let me just get this," he said pulling the phone out from inside his jacket,
"Hello . . . oh hi Logan," Alec tried to keep his voice as level as possible, "Yeah sure, I'll be there." Snapping his phone shut, he gave Sketchy an apologetic shrug, "sorry mate, I gotta go."
"Sure, whatever. More chicks for me."
Alec really wasn't prepared to see Max; he wouldn't know what to say. So it was just as expected that she was already there in Logan's apartment, sitting on the sofa, both hands clasped together in her lap and staring at him with those same beautiful eyes. Usually unreadable, this time they were screaming for his silence.
Alec wasn't stupid; he knew when to keep his mouth shut,
"Hey Logan, Max," he said as he normally would have done on any other visit.
"Hey Alec," Logan said rolling into the room, "take a seat."
"Uh no thanks."
"I'd rather you did; it'd save my neck."
Alec reluctantly sat down; purposely taking the seat furthest away from Max.
Logan clearly noticed the silence and the stiffness of both transgenics positions. Naturally he assumed they had had another argument; leaving him substantially more at ease and even a little relieved.
"I got word from Renfro and Lydecker," he started to explain; "They need to see the both of you."
"Both of us?" Max asked, "I thought it was Alec's turn to report back."
"They specifically said both of you, but I don't know much else."
"Well, uh, when do they need us back? Alec asked.
"Early tomorrow morning, so you should probably leave tonight. You can take my car."
Max nodded, "I'll drive."
Alec didn't argue; they'll probably have lots to argue about along the way. This was going to be quite an experience.
Max behind the driver's wheel, Alec in the passenger's seat staring out the window, both moodily silent; it was quite a déjà vu. They had once been in exactly the same position, going in exactly the same direction, but the only difference then had been the extra passenger, Logan, asleep in the back seat. Now they were both entirely alone. That was either a good thing for an honest conversation or highly dangerous.
And no different to last time, it was Max who finally broke the silence, with eerily the same words,
"I'm sorry."
This time Alec knew exactly what she was referring to and he felt unbearably uncomfortable.
Alec's silence made it painfully clear that the topic was off the discussion list, but Max couldn't just leave it at that.
"Alec," Max sighed, "I kind of wanted it to happen." She felt incredibly vulnerable opening up. It almost felt as if the woman sitting there was no longer a woman but a child; awaiting her reprimand for naughty behaviour.
Alec still couldn't respond.
"I don't know what happened but I know that I wanted it to –"
"Max don't," Alec interrupted no longer able to listen any more.
"Don't what?" Max said, her voice raising a few notches, "Don't be honest with you? Cos I thought you at least deserved that -"
"Yes I do!" Alec snapped, "I deserve an honest relationship if I ever were to have one with you Max, but this," he waved his hands about, "Can never be honest, if you don't grow a backbone first!"
"What?" Max spat out furiously, "How dare you-"
"Max, shut up! Shut up okay? You are being a damn spineless chicken, who thinks she can have the best of both worlds. But you can't okay? Not until you talk to Logan and tell him the truth."
"Since when do you care so much about Logan?" Max replied bitterly.
"I don't," Alec answered simply, "I care about me not getting hurt again."
Max said nothing. He was right. Not only was she hurting, she was hurting both Logan and Alec as well, and she still couldn't make up her mind as to which 'world' she wanted.
They stayed like that for the rest of the journey to Manticore; neither saying a word, as all the while the tension hung thick in the air. Opening the window did nothing to help and the fresh air probably wouldn't do much for a long time yet.
Author's Note 2: Hope you liked, next chapter is already written and should be up soon. Please continue to read and review!
Thank you to my lovely reviewers:
Crystal Moon Dragon, Kristibella, lakergirl08, Aur, Guest Type Person, JeNsEnS wifey ChAdZ lover, and m/a fan. And anyone else reading!
Love SmilinStar xxx