Freedom on the inside

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own anything to do with Dark Angel. They apparently belong to some guy who is most definitely in need of a brain check. What was he thinking when he decided to axe the show? Oh well, I guess when I'm rich enough I'll just have to buy the rights to the programme and then we'll finally get a third season. I wouldn't count on it though.

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: M/A (eventually!)

Summary: What if Max never escaped Manticore in 'Designate This' and didn't get the chance to infect Logan? Logan and everyone else in Seattle thinks she's dead and Renfro's still alive?

Author's Note: I know there's been a lot of 'what if she never escaped stories?' but this is my shot at what could have happened. Please read and review!

Chapter Twenty-Three

Grace

"So you've come up with a plan?"

Lydecker sighed, to be honest he was starting to have his own doubts about the whole plan, "It's a plan, possibly not our best, but it could work," he answered Max's question.

"So what is it?" Max asked, her patience wearing thin. She hated all the prep talk before briefings about missions.

Lydecker leaned back into his armchair, as Renfro who had previously been standing, sat down.

"You may have missed a significant proportion of your training when you escaped in '09 but I'm sure you remember most, if not all, your lessons from when you were younger," Lydecker ran a hand through his now considerably greyed hair, as Max nodded.

"And I'm probably correct in assuming that you haven't forgotten what it is to be a good soldier . . ."

Max had a sickening feeling she knew exactly where he was going with this.

"494 is an example of such a soldier."

Max felt like throwing up as the line hammered into her brain by her officer back in '07 pounded familiarly in her head, 'A good soldier is always willing to make sacrifices for the common good of not only their fellow soldiers but the people they are privileged to protect.'

It was a combination of fear and betrayal that brought on the lethal mixture of nausea and disillusion – Alec had known and he had not said a word. He was the stiff and emotionless soldier now and it saddened Max to watch him beside her. She desperately wanted to slap some sense into him; he couldn't seriously have agreed to this:

"494 has agreed to act as bait in order to eliminate White. This will inevitably mean self sacrifice."

Max bit down on her lip, she wanted scream 'No! Use me! Not Alec!' but she knew it wouldn't work. She was supposedly 'what they had been looking for,' whatever the crap that meant. There had to be some sort of hope;

"There's a possibility that 494 could avoid such a fate but the chance is slim and he is fully aware of that," Renfro answered her silent question.

Again Max turned to look at Alec and again she got nothing. It scared her how easily he had slipped back behind his Manticore mask and what was worse, was the fact that she just didn't understand it.

Keeping her voice deceptively calm, she finally spoke up,

"So what's my part in it?"

Lydecker looked at Renfro, and it was Renfro who answered her, "Well . . ."

Visiting both Joshua and Ginger had done nothing to settle Max's stomach. She had lied to their faces about the mission; if they were needed they would be ordered by Renfro, but as of yet they hadn't informed any of the transgenics and she was under orders to keep her mouth shut. Frankly, she didn't want to get anyone else involved into a potentially, and in all likelihood, fatal mission. Unfortunately, she couldn't quite protect everyone from it though.

Once more she felt the bile rise in her throat as she thought of Alec's 'noble' self sacrifice. It wasn't 'noble'; it was more along the line of the 'most frickin' stupid thing he could have possibly agreed to!' But that wasn't the only reason she was angry; at the base of her frustration was the fact that Alec now knew exactly how she felt about him; didn't he have a clue as to the extent it would devastate her? No he probably did, he just couldn't care less.

"Max?"

Speak of the devil. Walking towards her was the man himself. His face was expressionless but his eyes deceptive of his attempt of a calm exterior. In them Max saw hesitation and his weariness; but she wasn't going to make this easy on him.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?" Max spat.

Alec stuffed his hands in his pocket and shrugged his shoulders,

"My job."

"What being some lowly bait sentenced to death as I and all the other soldiers assigned run off with the treasured corpse of White, leaving you to rot? And here I thought masochism was beneath you!"

"Max I don't see your problem. Maybe my butt gets shot at, but you get White. Don't you see? It would completely deflate the Familiars. They'd become all the more easy to beat."

"And so what happened to the whole, 'Max is the one who's going to save us?'"

"Max, you were obviously meant for great things, but maybe it's not getting rid of the familiars, as you so stubbornly believe it is."

"So you have any bright ideas sunshine?"

"No," Alec shook his head, "but all I know is that this is important. I finally get to do something worthwhile. I finally get the chance to redeem myself." Max could tell that he truly believed that, which only helped increase the stinging from her hot dry tears.

"So this is what this is all about," Max spoke calmly, "Rachel." She knew that as soon as she had uttered those two single syllables that she had unleashed a dragon, but it was the way Alec would now slay it, which worried her.

Alec's face remained blank. He couldn't even formulate an expression let alone a string of words to answer Max. Truth be told, Rachel would explain a lot of things, and he wasn't quite sure as to what Max was referring to. If he opened his mouth now, he would only incriminate himself further.

Max sighed, looking up she made sure she held Alec's gaze, "It's okay, I understand. I may not think it's the best way to solve this," Max waved her hand around trying to sum up the word 'this' "and I may not want you to do this; but somehow I understand."

"Thank you," Alec nodded.

"Just . . . uh," Max looked down at the wet ground; 'Dammit'she was trying to keep herself from completely crumbling down in front of him, but it was proving far more difficult than she had ever anticipated. Her voice quivered slightly as she bit down on her trembling lower lip, "be careful."

"Always," Alec said with all the brashness that personified his very self. It was his way of reassuring her that he knew; he understood.

Mustering up all her nerve, Max leaned forward and kissed him chastely on the lips. Smiling, she gave Alec one last look holding him to his unspoken promise of making it out alive, and then turned on her heels and walked back to the barracks.

The air suddenly seemed a whole lot colder.

A/N 2: So I know I was very brief about the mission and I kinda just jumped straight into, but it was very much on purpose. I just wanted you guys to get an idea of what might happen . . . hehe!

The next chapter probably won't be up for a while; I've got biology coursework due in a couple of weeks, so I'll probably be busy. I will be back though . . . soon.

Thank you to my wonderful reviewers:

Vicky, Crystal Moon Dragon, Kristibella, lakergirl08, Aur, Guest Type Person, JeNsEnS wifey ChAdZ lover, babe, Gauri, Ro, Aotearoa Hiphop Grl and Wendy10,

love SmilinStar xxx