Disclaimer: Don't own it. Deja vu.

A/N: Last one!

Chapter 9: Bad Dreams

It was some time later, at least twenty minutes, when Ed was trying to free his arm out of Isabel's grasp. She had been asleep for about fifteen minutes, and he'd been failing to liberate his arm for at least the past ten of those minutes. Every time it seemed he would be able to get his arm out of her grasp, she would shift and thus be holding his arm a little tighter than before. He was just about to give up and go to sleep on her bed when Winry walked back into the room, looking a little down. She'd taken two steps into the room before she brought her hand to her throat and gasped.

"Ed, what are you still doing in here?" she asked, breathless. "I thought you were asleep already."

He shook his head. "No. Isabel fell asleep on my arm…I can't get loose," he told Winry.

The younger girl was quiet for a minute before walking over to the bed. "Well, you can't sleep in here, so I'll help you get her off your arm," she said quietly.

It took a few minutes, but Winry was able to hold onto Isabel while Ed managed to slip his arm out of her grasp. When Ed was finally standing up and trying to shake the feeling back into his left arm, he couldn't help but feel a little unwanted. He stole a quick, subtle glance at Winry. She was taking her hair down at that moment. He looked away with a sigh and started towards the door. He would just leave now, and leave in the morning before she woke up.

"Ed?" he heard Winry say, as he was about to walk through the doorway.

He sighed before turning around slowly. Quickly resuming his usual cockiness, he leaned against the doorjamb. "Yeah?" he asked, seemingly untroubled. But Winry seemed to be feeling otherwise. Her face was downcast and there was certain sadness in her eyes.

"What you said earlier," she began quietly, "about wanting to stay in Rizenbul." Oh, that. "What did you mean?"

Ed scratched his head, as if trying to remember. But he remembered the conversation very well. "What? Oh, yeah." He smirked to himself. "I was just thinking out loud, Winry. Don't worry," he told her and grinned arrogantly.

"Edward," she whispered, sounding dismayed.

Had he said something wrong? "Yes?" He tried his best to sound impatient, but a part of him knew that he had just screwed something up.

"Nothing. Just go to sleep. I guess you're leaving first thing in the morning, so you'll need your rest," Winry said. She looked away towards her bed and just stood there. Ed couldn't help but notice that her voice had been a little shaky when she'd spoken. She wasn't…crying, was she? She couldn't be.

"Winry." He walked further into the room and stopped about two feet behind her. "Listen, I know it must be frustrating that Al and I don't come home that often. It's usually for auto-mail repairs, so we're only here about two, three days, tops." He took a deep breath. Where was he going with this? Since he was letting his mind let loose the words there, he hoped he wouldn't say something stupid. "It make seem like I can't wait to leave, but that's not it, really. I like it here."

"Edward…just…"

He took a deep breath. "Listen. I'm probably never gonna be like this again for a long time, so let me say what I want to. I really like it in Rizenbul. It's just that it's hard to be here because of all the things that have happened here. There are so many painful memories I can't get over yet." This was getting ridiculous. Did he really feel that way? "But there's just so much that I have to do, so I can't stay here, Winry."

They were silent for a while. Ed felt like he'd royally embarrassed himself and said a lot of stuff that didn't sound like him. Since when did he say how he was feeling without anyone forcing him to say it? It felt weird to have said all that. Would he regret it later? Or would he feel relieved?

"If you could stay…would you?" Winry's voice was so frail in the quiet room. Her words were so muted it was hard for him to hear her.

But he let out a long sigh. "I-I…I don't know, Winry," he mumbled. "I guess we'll only know if I ever find the Philosopher's Stone."

After that, neither felt like they could say anything. So Ed left. He walked down the hall and into his and Al's room. Al was sitting near the window again, lost in his thoughts. Ed didn't bother to say anything. He took off his red jacket and tossed it over a chair.

He was beginning to feel stupid. Why had he told Winry all of that? Did she have to know his real feelings? He had problems admitting them to himself! How come it had been so easy to tell her? True, he'd just let his mind do the talking, but he'd had some restraint on his words. He hadn't told her everything that went on in his head concerning that subject. There were other reasons why he would want to stay in Rizenbul. And there were other reasons why he couldn't stay in Rizenbul. Bad memories were only the beginning. Even if Ed ever found the Stone and regained his and Al's regular bodies, what's to say something wouldn't come after them? If they were in Rizenbul again, then all the people there could get into trouble; guilty by association, they called it. Whoever had been a friend of Ed's was an enemy of whoever wanted the Stone.

A little calmer now, Ed unzipped his jacket and set it over his red jacket, covering up the array on the back. He ran his hands through his hair a couple times, finding that to be soothing to himself.

He kicked off his boots and lay down on his bed. He would sleep well tonight, knowing there was another adventure awaiting him the next morning.

"Brother," Al said from the other side of the room.

"Yeah, Al?" Ed mumbled after stifling a yawn.

There was silence, like Al was contemplating something. But finally, the armor said, "Good night, Brother." It seemed that Al had disregarded whatever he'd been going to say or ask.

Ed smiled to himself. "Good night, Al."

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"What!"

Isabel had to suppress the urge to laugh. Ed could see that much out of the corner of his eye. He was not at all pleased with what he had just heard. Actually, he wasn't sure he'd really understood what he'd heard, thus the reason for his not-so-unusual outbreak. It only made him even more frustrated to see his sister and Colonel Mustang taking pleasure in his aggravation. Why did everyone find it so funny when he didn't fully comprehend something? What was worse, Al was holding back laughter, even. This was no laughing matter! How could any of them find humor in this?

"I said, I only needed Isabel here to give her the orders, and then she could go to Central, since the libraries probably hold some significant information for her," Mustang repeated.

"You mean…." Ed broke off and clenched his hands at his sides. Then he turned his fury on Isabel. "If you had only asked the colonel what your orders were, we could have saved a train ride! We could have been in Central already! But no, you had to be consistent and not ask about orders!" Ed felt like jumping up and down in his anger, but concealed the urge to do so. He knew it would make the other three in the room surely laugh at him. That wasn't something he wanted to happen. He was bothered enough.

Isabel shrugged. "It's in my nature, Ed, not to question authority unless it goes against my morals," she told him.

"Morals," he mumbled. "Feh."

She even had the audacity to chuckle at him. "Just think of it as exercising your patience with Colonel Mustang, Ed. I know you two don't get along very well," she said cajolingly.

He was positively seething now. Why couldn't anyone see that he was in a hurry now? There was information regarding the Philosopher's Stone, and it was only a train ride away. A long ride that would have been shorter had his sister not been so obstinate. But now, they would have to spend more of his money and his valuable time to go all the way to Central.

Ed couldn't say anything more. He turned on his heels and left the room with a rigid step. He could hear Isabel and Al following him, so he broke into a run down the hallway. He didn't know where he was going until he found himself at the exit of East City Headquarters. When did he get there? He didn't remember going down any stairs, or hardly anything after turning the corner past the dorms. It had all become one big blur until he'd found himself here.

Nothing else to do but go through the doors. So he put his hands – one flesh, one metal – on the doors and pushed through them. He walked out into the slowly receding daylight of Eastern City. There were long shadows in front of him. Twilight was overtaking the sky before him, while the sunlight was still behind him. He had never considered until now that it was quite a strange phenomenon that happened nightly.

Ed walked further into the street, not knowing where he would go. He didn't know too many people in East City; he and Al were never in one place long enough to make lasting friends. So, there was nothing else for Ed to do but wander through the streets, hoping for a place to eat, or at least to sit down. After about ten minutes of walking in what felt like circles, Ed just sat down in an alleyway, overcome with thoughts.

What would he and his siblings do once they were in Central? He knew what he had to do. He was going straight to First Branch Library and finding that report. Then he and Al would study that until they had found the information they needed. But what about Isabel? What would she do about her mission? The Fuhrer wanted a complete recount of her almost six years working for the military. Sure, it wasn't hard for Ed to remember stuff about his and Al's journey, but that was only three years. Even then, he had a little bit of a tough time remembering when they'd first started out.

And that deadline? Two months to put it all together, two months to condense six years of memories into two hundred pages. That was way too much pressure on her, Ed felt. But there was nothing he could do. He couldn't even convince her to ask for more time. He knew she wouldn't, even under some form of torture. That girl was so strict on herself that she would have done it – without complaints – in one month. Well, she was either strict or crazy, and the latter didn't seem to be far from the truth. For her not wanting to be a dog of the military, she sure was devoted to them.

"Ed?"

He looked up to see who had spoken to him, but couldn't see because the sun was directly behind that person. He lifted his hand to shield his eyes, but another hand took his and yanked him to his feet.

"Why did you run off like that?" It was Isabel. She was giving him a disappointed look.

After having all of those thoughts surface and come to light, he was fed up. He jumped straight to the point. "This whole trip to Eastern Head quarters was a waste of time, Isabel. Why couldn't you have just asked what the orders were? We can't simply go places. It costs money and I can't spend it all on pointless escapades." Ed didn't really want to tell her the reason that he had left; instead he pointed another question at her.

She lifted an eyebrow at him reprovingly. "I thought I told you; it's just not in me to question higher authority. I didn't know it was going to be like this." With a little sigh, she continued after a brief pause. "Now, I can agree that it was a bit of a waste, but it gives us some time to check for more information, especially for that mission of yours you're obsessing about."

"Isabel." Ed stood. "Why are you willing to do these things for the military when you are simply a civilian? How can you possibly write out a full report on the past six years in two months? I don't understand why you chose to do this, to waste your life away so pointlessly for these military dogs."

"Why do you?" she returned, feeling insulted. "Just because you have a State Alchemist's Watch makes you special? Doing these civilian jobs was a way to keep myself alive. It was either this, or some job on the street." Isabel folded her arms over her chest defensively. "And Mustang told me after you left that I wouldn't be obligated anymore to help the military."

"No, it's just that I—" Ed looked steadily at his metal hand, at the automail that Winry had created for him. "I want to get Al his body back. The best way to do that was to join the military so that I could have access to any materials and resources that I need."

Isabel sniffed a little. "Well, that's your reason. I have—had—mine," she corrected herself.

"Why did you leave us? Why did you leave me and Al alone like that?" Ed glared at her.

Wincing from the suddenness of the question, she turned and looked down the street and remained silent. After about a minute, she asked, "Does it matter? It's the past. Why let it keep you from moving forward?" She shifted so Ed couldn't see her face and swiped under her eyes. It was such a painful thought…she didn't want to think about that again.

Ed seemed a little taken aback. Hadn't he used those same words, or ones at least quite similar before? Had she heard them previously, or did those words seem to run in his family's mind? He shook his head. This was too much right now. "Forget it," he mumbled. "Let's go back. We'll leave for Central in the morning."

With that, he started back towards Headquarters. A couple steps away, he heard Isabel sniffling again behind him. Ed turned and folded his arms over his chest. "What? Aren't you coming?" he asked, pretending he couldn't tell she was crying. "They'll wonder where we are if we don't get back soon."

Isabel looked up at him and nodded. "All right," she said quietly and followed.

He sighed a little to himself, keeping the lead on their walk. This was going to be a long two months.

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As Ed stepped into the cooler room, he immediately noticed the sudden temperature drop. There was fog swirling around the air in here, and his breath pooled in front of him. It had been quite warm, at least eighty degrees outside. And to go from that to what was probably thirty-three degrees was a drastic change. It made him shiver violently. But he pressed on anyway. He had to find Winry.

He looked around, and all he saw at first were dead pigs, gutted and hanging from slats on the ceiling. Then he saw that form in the little corner of the room, hunched down to conserve some warmth for her. He rushed over to her.

"Hey, are you okay?" Ed asked urgently. He knelt down beside her. "Were you kidnapped too?"

The woman nodded and pointed in some direction in front of her. "There's one more over there," she said, her voice shaking from the cold.

Ed stood up and looked around. "Okay. Let's get that person and get out of here," he said and began turning around. "I'll accompany you, so rest assured…" Then his eyes widened in shock before the bat came down on his neck. There was a brief pain and the sound of the woman chuckling before unconsciousness took over.

When he came to, it was to the awful grinding noise. Ed opened his eyes and faintly saw the woman sharpening something on a wheel. Instinct told him it was trouble, since his consciousness was still waking up. He struggled against the chains keeping him in the chair as panic took over.

"Good morning, little boy," the woman said when the wheel stopped. He gritted his teeth at the 'little.'

"You…!" Ed shouted. He broke off at a pain in his right shoulder unlike anything he'd felt before. He looked to see what it was and realized his automail wasn't there! Where was it?

"I heard that you can transmute objects without a transmutation circle," the woman said. But there was something terribly, terribly wrong. Her voice had changed! It was much deeper, like a man's voice. She picked up his automail and dangled it. "So I took some precautions." What was going on? The woman started laughing and reached up to her hair and…pulled it off? Ed winced visibly to see that the woman was, indeed, a man! "Let me introduce myself," he said. "I am this store's owner, Barry."

Still in shock from missing his arm, the cold, what was happening, and the man standing before him, Ed managed to stammer, "A man?" before Barry continued his monologue.

"I'll show you something as a reward for coming this far." He pushed the dead pig nearest to him with a good amount of force and it down the slat. Ed could hear muffle noises from further down before Winry came into view. Barry grabbed her shoulder to keep her from going any closer to Ed. She tried to say his name through the gag over her mouth, but it was just a squeak.

"Winry!" Why was she here? What interest did Barry have for her?

Barry bent down close to Winry and kept his eyes on Ed. "I'm going to break her apart artistically now." Winry whimpered and tried to shirk away. "So watch carefully…Mr. State Alchemist." A deranged smirk came over the man's face.

"Stop!" Ed shouted. He felt so helpless, stuck in that chair. He was unable to do anything to help Winry. "Why are you going to do that?"

"Why?" The crazed man looked a little shocked, as if a new thought had been thrust upon him. Had he never considered the why of what he did? He rubbed his chin. "I don't know… Maybe because it's fun?" He looked at Winry, who had been struggling with the chains on her wrists. She immediately stopped and returned Barry's stare, terror in her eyes. Barry carried on.

"I killed my wife first." He started walked towards Ed. "We had a stupid fight. And I did it just as a whim." He brandished the razor sharp knife easily. "But since I was able to slice her so beautifully, I started to want to be able to slice things more beautifully."

Ed suddenly remembered he had Winry's screw. He reached in his back pocket and started scratching on the chains.

"And I wanted more people to look at my work," Barry said nostalgically.

"A person can't kill another person for such a dumb reason!" Ed protested.

Barry turned around, the wild look in his wide eyes again. "They can." He began advancing on Ed again. Fear was struck into the boy, simply from the expression on the man's face. "A person can kill another person for any reason."

As if it would save him from Barry's knife, Ed turned his face away and shouted, "Stay away!" He was so scared. Was he going to die here? What would happen to Winry? Ed couldn't die like this; he had so much to do. He had to return Al to his original body! He had a promise to keep, a promise he'd made in blood! And yet, here he was, facing death at any given moment. It frightened him beyond thinking straight.

But Barry stopped just before him. Ed looked up and first saw the knife. "If they go to war, people can kill other people even more easily." He looked up more and dared to raise his eyes to meet his probable executioner. "Why do you think that is?"

Ed's voice shook when he answered. "I-I don't know…"

Without warning, Barry's hand moved so quickly that the blade was thrust straight through his shoulder. It was so sudden that the pain was nonexistent for a moment. Then it came all at once. He let out a yell of agony as the blood squirted to the ground. It was blinding. His other shoulder was forgotten momentarily. Ed clenched his eyes shut and gritted his teeth, willing himself to forget what was happening.

"People want to kill people." Barry's voice was only a distant echo in Ed's pain filled mind. But he forced himself to open his eyes and face the man before him. There was a smug look on his face. "On a battlefield, I've seen a State Alchemist like yourself kill people very easily. Just like this… 'splat.'"

"No…" Memories assaulted Ed's brain. He saw his mother on the floor, the vegetables all around her from when she'd fallen. Then he and Al were sitting at her deathbed, holding her hand. He saw the life slowly draining from her eyes. He could feel her hand loosen on his again. Then it was their failed transmutation. The pain was there again, in his leg. The smoke was clearing. He saw the face of what was supposed to have been their mother, gasping for a breath it would never have. The form of Nina and Alexander's chimera appeared before his eyes. The chimera and Ed were nose to nose in that dank hole of a laboratory. Then, one of the cruelest images was the stain on the alleyway wall of what had been that chimera. "No!" His head hurt so bad now from the memories being thrown at him.

Quickly, he finished scratching the transmutation circle on the chains and rubbed his finger over it. The blue alchemical light flashed and the chains fell off. Barry jumped back in shock. As soon at the metal hit the floor, it turned into a pole.

"Why you!" Barry yelled and brandished the knife high in the air.

Panic swept over Ed's mind again. Thoughts cleared his head. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what was happening. He didn't even know what he was doing when his body made him jumped out of the chair just before it splintered into hundreds of pieces. The ground was cold beneath Edward's flesh as he realized what he'd done. But it was soon blinded out again as the pain started in his left shoulder again. He ignored it as he pushed himself up on his hand to catch sight of the pole. Quickly, he tapped it with his toe so it bounced into the air over his foot. Then, he kicked it up towards his hand. But it was too late. He looked at Barry with fear, still, as the knife was coming down.


Was this the end?