Help Me, Protect Me
Randy had just dropped Lita off in her locker room, saying that he was only a few doors down should she need anything. After he had left, she had immediately run over and locked the door. She had just finished putting on her wrestling gear, when there was a banging on her door. Lita's head shot up as she called in a nervous voice, "Who's there?"
"Liiiita…Liiiita. You can't hide in there forever. Come out and play Liiiita. Come on, you know you want to…" came the sing-song voice of Gene Snitsky.
Lita didn't respond as he continued to bang on her locker room door, calling her name in that sickening voice. She began to shake and slowly backed up until she was finally flat again the wall on the far side of her locker room. As the banging continued, she slowly slid down the wall and pulled her legs up to her chest. She sat there, staring at the door as the banging continued, as Snitsky continued to call her name over and over again. Why is he trying to torture me? Please, make him go away. Make it go away. Make it all go away! She repeated over and over again in her head as the tears began to flow down her cheeks.
Unexpectedly, the banging stopped and a crash could be heard and then a loud groan. Lita looked up and once again stared at the door. This time, however, instead of a bang on the door, there came a soft knock.
"Lita? It's me…please Lita. Let me in. Are you okay? Lita?" came Randy's voice on the other side of the door.
Lita wanted to answer him, but her fear and panic were still in control and she was unable to make any words come out of her mouth. She heard Randy asking someone walking by if they had a key to the locker room, claiming he had accidentally locked himself out when he went to get a bottle of water. She heard a key sliding into the lock and heard Randy saying thanks to whoever it was. He waited for the arena worker to continue his walk down the hallway before opening the door.
"Oh god…" he groaned as she saw her huddled in the corner of her locker room, knees pulled up tightly to her chest, rocking back and forth, with tears streaming down her face. When he had called her name and gotten no response, he had become terrified. His only thought was that he had to get to her, to help her, to make sure she was all right. He raced over to where she sat and crouched down in front of her.
"Lita? Sweetheart, it's Randy. Please look at me." His voice shook with all the fear and worry that was still coursing through him.
"He-he wouldn't stop. I tried to get him to stop and he wouldn't leave me alone. I tried to fight, but he was too strong!" she cried as she continued to rock back and forth. Randy instinctively knew she wasn't talking about what had just happened with Snitsky. He pulled her to him and cradled her in his arms as she continued to sob. She buried her head in his chest as he lowered himself completely to the ground and simply held her against him, offering her what comfort he could.
Finally, Lita stopped crying. Randy looked down at her small frame that was wrapped protectively in his arms. Knowing he had to get her out of there without too much of a fuss, he lifted her up and carried her over to the couch. Sitting her softly down, he straightened up, as she slowly looked up into his eyes.
"I'm going to go tell Eric you're feeling sick and need to go back to the hotel and I'm coming with you. You shouldn't be alone right now," Randy said.
"No-no, Randy it's okay. I'm fine. I'll be okay. Don't worry about m-"
"Dammit Lita – you are not okay! You've been put through hell by some maniac. You hardly sleep, you hardly eat, and the littlest noise causes you to have a panic attack. I've only gotten to know a little about you in the past two days and I already know that you are far from fine. Now, I'm taking you back to the hotel. It's not up for discussion!" he yelled. Stacy and Trish happened to be walking by Lita's locker room at this point and heard someone yelling at Lita. Barging through the door, they stood in disbelief as they saw Randy Orton standing over Lita, hands on his hips, looking angrily down at the diva.
"What the hell do you think you're doing, Randy? Get the hell away from her!" yelled Trish, as she saw Lita huddled in the corner of the couch, tears in her eyes.
Randy didn't know what to say without giving away Lita's secret. Instead, he just looked at the two angry divas, shrugged his shoulders, and with one last backwards glance at Lita, made his way towards the door.
"No – Randy you don't have to go. Trish, Stacy…it's not a big deal," Lita said trying to compose herself. "He was just trying to help. I don't feel all that great at the moment. I think that stomach bug I had isn't completely gone and Randy was just trying to get me to go back to the hotel. That's all," she lied to her friends. Randy just turned and stared back at the redheaded diva, not responding.
"Well, he still shouldn't have been yelling at you," said Stacy, sending a glare in Randy's direction. Randy decided to it would be easier for Lita if he just played along.
"Yeah, I shouldn't have yelled. I'm sorry Lita. It was pretty rude of me. I was worried – you looked so pale. I just didn't think you should be wrestling tonight. I guess I went about it the wrong way," said Randy, Lita clearly hearing the underlying meaning in his words.
"It's okay. Girls, I think I will head back to the hotel. I'm feeling pretty bad. How about tomorrow morning we meet for coffee?" asked Lita.
Trish and Stacy shared a glance. They couldn't remember the last time they had breakfast with their friend. Quickly nodding their heads in agreement, the two divas turned to leave, before Trish suddenly stopped.
"Are you driving back to the hotel? Because, I mean, if you're not feeling well, you probably shouldn't be driving."
"Oh, uh, um no. Randy said he would take me. Right Randy?" asked Lita pointedly.
"Oh right. Yeah. I was going to talk to Eric and see if I could leave for a little while and bring Lita back to the hotel before my match. I should probably go talk to him now. Uh, see you ladies later," he stammered as he walked out of the locker room.
What was that? mouthed Trish to Stacy. Stacy just shrugged in response. She had no idea what was going on with their friend and the Legend Killer. Maybe whatever it was had to do with why Lita had been so secretive the last couple of months, why she had been acting so strangely.
"Well sweetie, we better be going too. I have to go finish getting ready for my match and Stacy has a promo to shoot. We'll see you tomorrow morning okay? If you're still feeling kind of yucky, just call and we can maybe hang out later in the day. See you later!" called Trish as she and Stacy walked out the Lita's locker room.
In Bischoff's Office
"Eric, come on. I'll only be gone for like half an hour. She's just feeling really sick and needs to go back to the hotel."
"What are you Orton? Her keeper? Her protector? Can't one of her little girl friends drive her?" snarled Eric.
"No-they can't. They all have something to do tonight. And my match isn't starting for another hour. I can drive her and be back here in plenty of time," said Randy through clenched teeth.
"Fine. You have thirty minutes. If you're not back by then, you are officially suspended for two weeks."
Randy nodded as he made his way out of the office. "Thirty minutes Orton. That's all you've got," called Bischoff as he left.
Lita's Locker Room
Randy raced back to Lita's locker room. She was still sitting exactly where he had left her only moments before. She looked up, surprised, as he walked back in.
"Come on, babe. I'm bringing you back to the hotel. I won't be able to stay though. If I'm not back in half an hour, I'm suspended for two weeks," said Randy with a smirk.
Lita merely nodded before standing, picking up her duffle bag, and following Randy out the room. When they reached the exit to the parking lot, Lita suddenly stopped. Randy looked down at Lita and put his arm around her waist, before pushing open the door and leading her to his car.
Lita seemed be lost in her own thoughts during the car ride back to the hotel. Randy wasn't sure if he should mention the incident with Snitsky or what she had said to him shortly afterward. He decided now wasn't the time, seeing as how he didn't have much time to bring her to her hotel and get back to the arena. Finally arriving at the hotel, he walked Lita up to her room and stood in the doorway as she dropped her duffle bag on the floor and turned to look at him.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I've put you in a really awkward situation. And now, I might have cost you two weeks of work."
"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have yelled. I want to talk to you about what happened tonight, but if I don't leave now, I won't make it back to the arena in time. I'll be back here around midnight. Can we talk then? Will you be asleep?" he asked her.
"Sleep? What's sleep? No, most likely I'll still be up watching t.v. or something. Come by when you're done. And Randy? Good luck tonight," she said with a small smile.
Randy smiled too as he turned and began to walk back down the hall towards the elevators.
After the Match
"Hey Orton!" called Chris Jericho. "Come on, man. We're heading out to his really great club tonight. Come on! Women, alcohol – WOMEN!"
Randy laughed at Chris's obvious excitement. But he wasn't planning on participating in this particular outing. He needed to get back to the hotel to talk with Lita.
"Sorry Chris. No can do tonight. I've got to head back to the hotel."
"Dude? Passing up women and alcohol? What's wrong with you? Are you feeling alright?"
"Yeah man, I'm fine. I just have something I need to do."
"Something or someone to do? Ahh, I see. Mr. Orton already has some fun waiting for him at the hotel. Understandable man. Enjoy!" called Chris as he raced off to gather up the rest of the guys.
Yeah. I'm just going to be having loads of fun, thought Randy as he made his way to his car, mentally preparing himself for his conversation with Lita.
Back at the Hotel
Arriving back at the hotel a little after midnight, Randy went to his room first and dropped his bag off before taking a deep breath and making his way to Lita's room. Knocking softly on the door, he waited for her to answer. When she finally opened the door, she stepped back so he could enter. He watched as she walked over to the couch and curled up on one end under a blanket. He followed suit and sat down on the opposite end. It seemed as though neither one of them wanted to start this conversation, so they simply sat staring each other. Finally, Lita looked away and started twirling a piece of hair around her finger. Randy took a deep breath and decided he was going to have to be the one to start talking.
"It wasn't the same Li. What Snitsky did tonight – that was him being an asshole. It's not the same," Randy started.
"I know it's not the same. But Randy? I can hear his voice in my head saying the words over and over again. When I close my eyes to try to sleep, I see his face leaning over me. When I hear a noise, any noise that's out of the ordinary, I think he's come back to finish what he started. And I don't even know who he was – just some random guy who decided to turn my life into a living hell. It might not be the same, but it all somehow gets jumbled in my head."
Randy stood up and moved closer to her spot on the couch, still not daring to touch her small frame.
"Have you ever talked to anyone about what happened to you? I mean besides me?" he asked.
"No – and I don't plan to. I'll work through it in my own way, in my own time."
"But can't you see? You aren't working through it. It's a living nightmare for you. You feel the terror and the fear every minute of every day. And pretending that everything is fine whenever you talk to your friends isn't helping. They love you Li. They'll understand."
"I-I-I just can't! I don't know why I was able to tell you. Maybe because I don't know you that well, so it seemed easier than having to tell my best friends. But I just can't do it yet. I don't have the strength to answer all the questions."
"Okay, okay. I understand. But do you understand what I felt when I saw you tonight, curled into a ball, crying? I was so scared, Lita."
Scared? she thought. He was scared for me?
"Randy why are you doing this? Why are trying to help me? Why are you trying to protect me?"
"I can't tell you that Lita. All I know is last night, when I knocked you down and saw you sitting on the ground with that panicked look on your face, I knew that I needed to be there for you, to help you get through whatever was wrong. And now that I know why, I just can't walk away. Even if that's what you want me to do. I can't, I won't walk away."
Lita felt her heart begin to beat faster when he said those words, but in a good way. Her heart wasn't beating more rapidly because she was scared or panicked – it was his presence – his blue eyes pleading with her to understand, his finger that was unconsciously tracing invisible lines on her hand while he talked, the sound of his voice. She turned to face him, her eyes locking with his. She studied him for a moment before speaking just above a whisper.
"I don't think I can do this alone anymore. I need someone in my life who understands what I'm going through."
Before Randy knew what he was doing, he had stood up and grasped one of her hands. Pulling her to her feet, he looked down into her hazel eyes, searching for something, he wasn't sure what. Lita looked back at him with a look of apprehension on her face. At first, she wasn't sure what he was going to do, but his intention became clear as he started to lower his face towards hers. She soon found their lips pressed together in a passionate kiss. Lita stood frozen in place as she felt her lips touch his. When she was able to gain her thoughts, she hastily pushed him away. Her mind was racing as she took a few steps back attempting to put some distance between Randy and her. For some reason she felt the need to regain control. She couldn't lose herself in Randy's embrace. What the fuck? Why can't I get this shit out of my head and get over this pain? Why can't Igiveinto these feelings? Whenever someone gets close – too close – I can't forget that night…the pain of being so out of control and vulnerable. All I want to do is live a normal life again.
Randy just stood motionless, shocked by what had happened. He soon realized he had stepped over the boundaries of friendship. His guilt began to consume him. God! Could I possibly be more of an asshole? How could I have kissed her, pushed her to do something she's so obviously not ready for? She isn't ready to let go of the past yet…she needs more time. I can't ruin this – I think I want more with this girl. I need to back off or I'll fuck up any chance I have with her. I need to focus more on her and less on my emotions and desires.
"I, um, I better go. I guess I'll see you in the morning. Goodnight Lita," Randy said as he made his way out the door.
She was unable to find words in that moment of awkwardness between them. She wanted desperately to tell him that it wasn't his fault and she did want this, but the words escaped her. She had to watch him slip out the door with a look of disappointment and rejection. "Goodnight Randy," she whispered as the door closed behind him. Walking over to the door, Lita clicked the lock in place and leaned back, closing her eyes for a moment. I need to start living again, but I can't seem to let go, to just let myself be free. I wanted that kiss – or at least I think I wanted it. How can I get back to being myself? How can I start a relationship, when I can't stop being afraid? Sighing, she climbed into bed, turning off the lamp. However, sleep was a long time in coming as she replayed the night's event over and over again in her head. She planned to talk with him in the morning. Lita wanted to tell him how desperately she wanted to kiss him back. How she yearned to have that moment back and react differently. She wanted him to know that her pulling away was not a way of rejecting him, but gaining the control she lacked that night two months ago. All she needed now was the ability to let herself go and enjoy the way he made her feel- beautiful and safe. She eventually drifted off to sleep. A small smile crept onto her lips as she dreamt of the possibilities.