Four

It only took them about an hour after breakfast the next day to pack up the camp onto two large, elephant-like creatures, which they finally mounted, three-by-three, and rode Eastward, the unburdened Rheas following in a ragged train behind them. Presto had come round early the previous evening and, despite still nursing a bad headache, was having great fun teasing Eric about being old and married, not to mention his new applications of eyeliner and facial hair. Eric, turbaned and veiled against the sand once more, took it all with good humour, laughing along, and occasionally mocking the Magician's still underdeveloped appearance. Hank found himself on the same mount as them, to his surprise. Diana had insisted that she'd be best at driving the second beast, and spent the voyage doing so quietly, rarely joining in with Sheila and Bobby's conversations. The giant beasts made quick work of the desert, and well before sunsdown their destination became visible on the hazy horizon - a huge, many-domed white palace shining brightly amid a great city of multicoloured little houses and market squares, the city itself surrounded by a vast green oasis of carefully irrigated farmland, with twinkling canals and aqueducts running off in straight lines to unseen destinations to the East and South of the city.

Eric turned to them, the grin obscured by his mask still visible in his dark eyes.

'Home.'

A desert dusk was falling by the time they entered the outer city walls. The torches lining the streets were being lit. The streets themselves were still thronging with people going about their evening revelries. Brightly dressed men, women and children walked and ran and shopped and ate and drank in the open plazas. For a while a small troupe of musicians followed their train through the city. They continued to play after Eric tossed a little money at them, only breaking away from the caravan when they spotted a large cafe at which they could busk. Still the large creatures lumbered through the wide streets towards the centre of the city.

'Um,' Hank shuffled himself over so that he was sitting next to the man at the reigns. 'Where is it that you actually live, Eric?'

Eric stopped the beast right in front of a large gate to the palace's grounds, removing his mask, and turned to the Ranger with a small snort of laughter.

'As if you had to ask.'

'My Prince!' The guard at the gate crossed his arms, shaking his head in wonder at the strangers that Eric had brought back. 'It appears that you were right after all.'

'Didn't I tell you, Khalad,' Eric called down to the guard, 'I am always right.'

Khalad the guard smiled, opening the gate for them to pass.

'You remind me every day, my Prince.'

Eric geed his beast to walk on through the open gates, still calling down to the guard.

'Only because you seem to forget so often. Ahm Kadimen li-laman batt, Khalad.'

Khalad waved them through. 'And yours!'

'I think they just have!' cried Eric behind him as the rest of the caravan passed through the gate.

Khalad bowed slightly, regarding the others with a friendly smile, before closing the gates again.

Eric briefly met Hank's astonished gaze.

'That was Khalad,' he told Hank, conversationally. 'Sweet guy. Facial Alopecia. His eyebrows are tattooed on.'

'What was all that "Prince" business, Eric?' asked Presto from the seat behind them.

'Oh yes.' Eric shot them an impish grin. 'I'm a Prince. I'm surprised I didn't mention it earlier.'

'How... How?' was all that Hank was able to manage.

'The usual way.' Eric smiled smugly to himself again. 'Married a Princess.'

'No way.' Presto blinked, contemplating this. 'Hey, what was that foreign stuff you said?'

'Ahm Kadimen li-laman batt? It translates roughly as "may the Gods smile upon your family".'

'Oh.'

To Eric's slight irritation, the other boys didn't ask him any other questions as they rode through to the stables.

Ah well, he thought, perhaps my next surprise will impress them a little more.

-x-

In a large, well guarded castle, half the Realm away, empty of life and love, filled only with weapons and armour and dusty trophies of past glories, a dark figure rose from his throne, suddenly.

'Oh!'

Clenching his fists, he oppressed his own surprised outburst. He concentrated. How could it be? Those artefacts were lost to another world! But it was true. They were returned. They were together once more. It was time.

He flexed his wings, stretching them as a cat would its claws.

'And this time,' he told nobody inparticular, 'I shall succeed.'

-x-

Eric opened the door at the back of the palaces with a cheerful smile.

'Private quarters,' he told them, sniffing the air. 'Smell that.'

They smelled the warm air coming from the other side of the door. It was delicious and homely, the scent of some kind of spicy, meaty stew.

'Wow,' grinned Bobby, 'either you've got the best chef ever or Mrs Eric is a great cook!'

Eric shook his head. 'Our kitchen staff's the best in the Realm, and my wife's cooking is heavenly, but that unmistakable smell can mean only one thing - the King is in the Kitchen.'

'The King is cooking?' asked Sheila.

'Yes.' Eric ushered them through. 'He's good at lots of stuff.'

They found themselves in a large, warm kitchen, full of steam and tasty aromas. There was no table, but a large area of the floor was taken up with a cloth laid with porcelain and silverware, with various cushions surrounding it. The other half of the kitchen was largely taken up by a vast, wood fuelled cooking range. The tall, silver haired man working at it turned from his stew pot and beamed at the adventurers.

'Well!' he exclaimed warmly in an accent much like Eric's, 'it appears that my wilful Son-in-Law was right after all!'

Eric patted the man fondly on the shoulder, tasting the stew with his finger as he did.

'As a Wise Old Man once told me, sometimes the desert just sings to you.'

The older man nodded in agreement. 'Whenever it has a loved one caught in its dry mouth. More saffron?'

Eric shook his head, sucking the tip of his finger. 'It's perfect.'

The others were still standing nervously in the doorway.

'That's the King?' asked Presto.

'Where are my manners?' tutted Eric to himself. 'Guys, this is my Father-in-Law Rhamoud, King of the largest free Protectorate in the Realm.'

'Hello,' muttered Hank.

Eric turned to the older man. 'Rhamoud, these are the people I told you about.'

Rhamoud smiled widely at the ragged group and approached them, arms spread. 'Then you need no introduction!'

'Really?' stuttered Presto.

'My dear young ones,' cried the King, slinging his large arms around both Hank and Sheila, and pulling them into a bear-hug, 'after all the tales my Son has told me of you, you are practically family!'

'Are you sure he's a King, Eric?' gasped Sheila from within Rhamoud's grasp, 'he doesn't act like one.'

'Or look like one,' added Bobby.

Diana squinted at Rhamoud, cocking her head. 'He looks like Sean Connery.'

Rhamoud laughed loudly, even though he didn't know who he was being likened to. Eric slapped his forehead in sudden realisation.

'That's who he reminds me of. Thankyou, Diana. That's been bugging me for years!'

The others began to laugh. Diana joined in for the first time that day, flashing Eric a smile.

Then she saw Her. Leaning against the doorframe in the half-light, watching the scene. Diana fell silent, as did the others as they followed her gaze.

The woman in the doorway was extraordinarily beautiful. She seemed to be all smile, all soft, loving, warm, wide lips. Diana drew her eyes from that terrible, heavenly smile, and wished that she hadn't. It wasn't the long, chocolate hair that hung silkily over her shoulders that made her heart sink, nor the shining eyes, nor the golden skin. Not even the complicated, swirling, triangular tattoo, identical to Eric's, on the back of her right hand. It was what the hand was cradling. The Bump. The small but unmistakable Baby Bump that gently curved her belly.

Eric was the last of the group to notice his wife in the doorway, but he broke into a grin the moment he did. The woman crossed the kitchen towards him.

'You found them,' she exclaimed. 'Our family is complete at last!'

'Hmm.' Eric wound his arms around the woman, pulling her back against his chest and stroking her slightly swollen belly, kissing the nape of her neck as he did. 'I wouldn't say that quite yet.'

'I take it that's Mrs Eric,' said Bobby, pulling a slight face at the mushy display.

The woman laughed. 'My friends call me Ayeisha.'

'Oh...' Sheila was beginning to well up. 'I can't believe it. You're so In Love.'

'Sickening, isn't it?' Eric grinned into his wife's hair as everybody bar Sheila nodded in agreement with him. 'Sometimes I just want to punch myself.'

'You're having a baby,' Diana added, flatly.

'You noticed,' replied Eric. 'Our fourth.'

'Fourth?' the other adventurers exclaimed in unison.

'Things have been really settled round here for years,' replied Eric. 'There's little else to do with one's time but make babies, beside a little light adventuring and supressing the odd Barbarian horde - no offence, Bob.'

All that Bobby was able to say in response was 'Four..?'

Ayeisha patted her bump. 'I'm afraid this one doesn't say much yet, but the others are very amusing. You'll meet them at dinner.'

She smiled that wide, wonderful smile, pointing it straight at Diana. She found herself automatically smiling back, despite herself.

'Speaking of dinner,' added Rhamoud, 'I must see to the bread. Please. Make yourselves at home.' The King made ushering arm gestures toward the cushions on the floor. 'For as long as it suits you, you are to be part of the household of King Rhamoud. You are the brothers and sisters in arms of my only Son. You are our family.'

-x-

Far away, somebody to whom the notion of Family had long since grown bitter and meaningless stepped out in front of an a crowd of brutish, snout faced creatures, which were dressed, nevertheless, in officers' garb.

'Your troops will march tonight,' he ordered them. 'I shall finally have my vengeance upon those insolent children as well as the disobedient curs of Kaddish.'

-x-

Diana sat aside from the others and quietly sulked. Apart from Presto, who had wandered off to get a breath of air, everybody was sitting around on the cushions in the kitchen and listening to Rhamoud's cheerful description of Eric's rescue as he tended to the meal.

'It had been over a year since my darling daughter had been taken from me,' boomed the King as he retrieved a hot loaf of bread from the stove, 'and I had spent every day since then wandering the great desert alone, searching for my only child. Then one morning I awoke to hear the desert singing to me.'

Setting the bread down to cool, he poured himself a large goblet of wine.

'"Rhamoud", it sang, "I have found your child. You are a Father again." My heart soaring, I followed the voice.' Rhamoud chuckled into his goblet. 'But what I found was not my beautiful girl, but this boy!' He indicated to Eric joyfully, who shook his head, feigning embarrassment. He had obviously heard this story told this way several times before.

'Stick thin,' continued the King, 'badly burned, half naked and half dead, alone in the desert. Still, I knew at first sight that it was fate. I knew that this wretched child was going to bring love and life back into my home. But he would hear none of it!'

'Just imagine,' interrupted Eric, 'you're a teenaged boy, you wake up in your underpants with a heavily armed middle aged man leaning over telling you he believes you'll bring the love back into his house. You'd run a mile!'

'But you didn't run, my boy,' chided Rhamoud, warmly, 'oh no, you were happy to eat my food and wear my clothes and live in the comfort of my caravan, but you would not hear of calling me Father. It took two weeks for you to call me Friend!'

'Sounds like our Eric!' grinned Hank.

'But, Oh...' continued Rhamoud, 'the day that we found where the Nightstalker was keeping my girl, the day he helped bring back my daughter and saw the young lady I would have him call Sister... Then he was happy to consider me as family. Although it was not to be as my Ayeisha's brother...'

'He makes it sound like it was love at first sight,' Eric tutted.

'Wasn't it?' asked Sheila.

'We hated each other for months!' interjected Ayeisha. 'I could not comprehend my otherwise sensible Father's devotion to this horrible, hateful boy, who did nothing but sulk.'

Eric laughed, letting his wife fiddle mischievously with his hair.

Diana hid a scowl. I thought he was horrible first!

'But I found myself warming to him,' continued Ayeisha, 'I found that there was a beautiful soul trapped within an unhappy young man. And the more I grew to like him, the more likeable he grew.'

'You kissed a frog,' said Bobby, 'and turned him into a Prince.'

Diana began to get up. I don't think I can stand much more of this Disney Crap.

Eric blinked at Bobby. 'I never thought of it like that before,' he murmured. 'Thankyou, Bobby... Hey are you OK?'

Diana, suddenly on her feet, stared at him. She had hoped to slip away unnoticed until the Greatest Love Story Ever had come to an end.

'Uh... just gonna join Presto. Get some air. It's hot in here.'

The old Eric would have noticed something wrong in the tone of her voice, and frowned at her, or said something sarcastic that hid the message that he was worried about her. But this one just nodded, satisfied at her excuse.'

'Fine. Tell him supper's nearly ready, would you?'

'Sure.' Without looking at the others, she strode out of the kitchen and towards the shaded balcony where the young Magician was leaning, gazing out at the darkening grounds.

'Hi, Presto.' Diana leaned her back against the palace's outer wall, gladly breathing in the cool evening air.

'Hey, Diana.' Presto didn't take his eyes from the courtyard below.

'So.' Diana watched the Magician's back. 'Do you think this is all too weird, too?'

'Totally.' Presto turned to her, briefly. 'A few days ago my best friend was just a kid. Then he was a Bogbeast kid. Then he was a missing kid. Now he has kids.' He turned back to the courtyard. 'His wife seems nice, though.'

Diana frowned. 'Yeah.' She paused. 'I found his journal back on Earth, you know.'

'Oh?'

'Yeah. Why didn't you tell me that he liked me? When he was our age, I mean.'

'He made me promise, on pain of death. Besides, what good would it do? You didn't feel the same about him, did you?'

Diana sighed, joining him at the balcony's latticed railing. 'Say, what are you looking at down there, anyway?'

A temporary assault course had been set up in the courtyard, with archery targets peppered around it. A young page in riding gear and a helmet was riding a small Rhea over it at great speed, guiding the creature over the assault course's obstacles with a confident fluidity, clutching the reigns with one hand and using a crossbow to fire at the targets as he rode past them with the other.

Diana raised her eyebrows. 'Wow. He's good.'

'You should have seen him doing pull-ups earlier.' Presto remained transfixed by the young warrior. 'Diana, this guy isn't even a proper soldier. He can't be any older than I am.' He shook his head. 'These people are amazing.'

'You think we should stay with them?'

'Well, Eric's happy here, and you know how difficult he is to please. And I bet Venger and Tiamat and all those other creeps wouldn't dare go after us with an army of guys like that on our side.'

Diana watched the page for moment more, then turned back into the palace.

'Supper's nearly ready,' she told him.

He waved her off, still watching the display. 'In a minute.'

He continued to watch the page as he made the Rhea run and spin and leap around the courtyard, never losing his aim as he went. Too late, Presto realised that the last jump had been set too high, and couldn't suppress a small cry when the Rhea caught its foot upon it, tripped and fell, sending the page crashing to the ground. The page managed to roll as he hit the tiled courtyard, softening his fall but causing his large steel helmet to come away from his head and roll, clattering, across the ground.

Presto cried out again in surprise as a long, sleek plait uncoiled itself from the page's head as he... she... rolled. The skinny girl followed the sound of his voice and scowled up at him, hiding her humiliation with rage.

'What are you looking at?' she demanded.

Presto started a little, jumping back from the balcony's edge. 'Uh... nothin'.'

The girl's face softened a little at his timid response. She arched an eyebrow at him, mockingly. 'You think that was "nothing"? Perhaps you'd like to come down here and show me something a little more impressive...'

'Oh... uh...' Presto wiped a small build-up of sweat from his forehead, panicking. 'That's not what I meant. I meant...'

'You're one of those strangers from the desert, aren't you?' interrupted the girl.

'...yeah...'

She walked closer to the balcony, observing him. 'Your clothes are unusual.' She pulled a face. 'You're not a Wizard, are you?'

Presto pulled at his robes, self consciously. 'Magician, technically.'

The girl stood directly beneath the balcony, staring up at him. 'Hmm.'

Before Presto could blink, she had grabbed the rose covered trellis running from the courtyard floor up to the palace's roof, and begun to swiftly, expertly clamber up it. He considered offering her a hand as she reached the level of the balcony, but she didn't need it. She swung herself onto the balcony next to him with ease, regarding him still as she did so. She flicked a strand of hair from her eyes as she walked into the light streaming out from the kitchen. She was pretty - as Presto had guessed, around his age, maybe a little younger - with dark, Arabic looks, a wiry frame and a cool, confident expression.

'Magician, eh?' she said, leaning into him. 'Well, tell me. Can you do this...?'

She flourished an empty hand behind Presto's ear, then pulled her fist, clenched, in front of his face. She opened her fist to reveal one of the white roses that grew up the trellis she had just climbed.

Presto smiled, accepting the rose. He pretended to push the flower into his ear, slipping the bloom quickly into his sleeve so that he could wave an empty hand at her.

He smiled. 'Yep.'

The girl nodded, deadpan. 'You shouldn't be a Magician.'

Presto retrieved the flower, downcast. 'You think?'

'You should be a Jester.' The girl curled her lip, ever so slightly. 'I haven't laughed this much in years.'

She turned to go into the palace. Presto felt a sudden urge to cry 'Wait!'.

'Wait!'

The girl didn't stop, but slowed, looking at him over her shoulder.

'Wh... what's your name?'

'Guess! I've already given you a clue.' She span around on her toes, briefly grinning at him before turning a dark corner inside and vanishing. 'See you later, Presto.'

Presto blinked at the rose in his hand for a moment before the realisation dawned.

I never told her my name!

-x-

Diana wandered around the grounds alone until the suns were completely set. By the time she had come back to the kitchen, dinner was already being served. She faltered slightly before she sat. There were two more children - two dark young boys. The older one was petting Uni and chatting to Bobby, while the littlest one was being thoroughly coddled by Sheila. Diana eyed them as she settled down on a cushion next to Hank.

'Is that them?'

Hank was about to mutter a reply when he was cut off by Eric.

'Diana!' grinned Eric, his arms still curled around his wife, 'These are my sons. Charlie's seven and Little Ramhoud is four and two thirds.'

'Acrobat!' cried Little Rhamoud, pointing at her.

'We've heard so much about you,' added Charlie, 'and the adventures you had with Dad.'

'Charlie...' warned Eric, softly.

'We know more about you than anybody else from Earth,' Charlie continued.

'You smack baddies with your stick!' added Little Rhamoud, getting to his feet in excitement. 'You go "Bash! Pow!" And you're pretty!'

The tot was silenced by an all-encompassing Sheila Hug. The redhead grinned at her friend with an almost demented look in her eye.

'Isn't he cute!' gasped Sheila, with four whole exclamation marks in her voice.

Hank caught Diana's gaze.

'They've made her so broody,' he whispered desperately. 'She's turned into an Ovary in a Cape.'

Presto, helping himself to stew, looked across at Eric.

'So where's the third one?'

Eric smiled faintly. 'Getting attacked by Sheila.' He cocked an eyebrow at Presto's confused expression. 'It's our eldest child who's late. As usual.'

'Wha...' managed Presto before a familiar voice cut him off.

'I'm not always late.'

Eric smiled up at the figure in the doorway. 'Rose! How nice of you to join us!'

Rose... Presto felt his appetite suddenly drain away. Oh no.

The dark adolescent girl sashayed slowly across the kitchen towards her father.

'I was training,' she replied, 'I needed to wash up and change.'

Presto stared as the girl gave Eric a small kiss on the lips. There was no mistaking her for a boy this time. Her face was scrubbed and glowing, her long, black hair hung sleekly down her back. She was no longer wearing the riding breeches and tunic of a common page. She had changed into a flowing, knee length gown with pantaloons underneath, all in a bright, slightly translucent blue.

'Rose is your daughter...?' he asked with dry lips.

Eric nodded, stroking a hand down the girl's long plait of hair.

'But...' interjected Hank, 'but she has to be at least...'

'I'm twelve,' Rose told them, calmly.

'The best things in my life always happen to me by accident,' added Eric with a smirk.

Presto gulped as Rose caught his nervous eye. She flashed him another small smile.

'So those people were out in the desert after all,' she said. 'Young, aren't they?'

'Yes,' replied her father, sadly, as she sat down between Presto and Bobby. 'I'd forgotten how young we all were. We were... well... your age.' He sighed, casting his gaze over the other adventurers. 'How did we survive? You're all just children.'

'There is no such thing as "Just a Child", my Prince. You know that.'

Everybody but Eric turned in the direction of the familiar old voice. Eric simply covered his eyes in mock despair.

'Well well. It looks like the old gang's all together again.'

The wizened old Dungeon Master stepped out of his shadowy corner, bowing slightly at Eric.

'Your Highness.'

Eric opened his eyes and aped DM's act of reverence sarcastically.

'Your Shortness. Long time no see.'

The Dungeon Master sat down between the two little boys and helped himself to a plate of food.

'You have had no need for my advice for several years, my Prince,' answered Dungeon Master, calmly batting Little Rhamoud's curious, sticky fingers away from his bald head.

'So to what do we owe this pleasure?' asked Eric, coldly.

The Dungeon Master sat back, eyeing them all, seriously.

'The six weapons of power are together again. Do not think that that would have gone unnoticed amongst your enemies.'

'Venger,' scowled Hank.

'The very same, Ranger,' replied DM.

Rhamoud got to his feet, angrily. 'Did he not learn his lesson the last time? We thought we would hear no more of him after his defeat all those years ago...'

'You beat Venger...?' asked Sheila, too quietly for anybody to hear her.

'He lost a quarter of his army in that battle, Rhamoud' said DM. 'It was not worth him risking a further defeat on that scale for just one weapon. But for all six... that is a different matter.'

Ayeisha clutched her husband's arm. 'He's planning another attack, isn't he?'

The Dungeon Master nodded. 'He is already marching. He has replenished the numbers that he lost many times over since you saw him last, I'm afraid.'

'So? Our army can beat his a hundred times over,' stated Rose, bluntly. 'Besides, we have all of the weapons of power on our side this time, when before, we only had Daddy's shield and Grandfather's sword.'

The Dungeon Master smiled. 'What a courageous child you have, my Prince.'

Eric nodded, poker faced. 'She's her mother's daughter.'

Hank pushed his hands through his hair, sighing.

'How long do we have?'

'Two days,' replied the Dungeon Master, looking at Rhamoud.

'Plenty of time to fortify the city,' muttered the King. 'Thankyou for your warning, Dungeon Master.'

The Dungeon Master leaned across to pat Uni on the head, gently. 'You will prevail,' he told the room, 'if your heart is in the right place.' He glanced over at a worried looking Eric. 'You used to take risks like this all the time. And you did survive.'

He waved a finger at the group in general, and then tucked in. A few forkfuls into his meal, he stopped and looked up. Everybody was still staring at him.

'Yes?'

'Aren't you gonna... y'know...' Bobby scratched his head, 'distract us and then disappear?'

DM smiled into his stew. 'No, on this occasion, if I may, I should quite like to stay a while.'

-x-

Diana leaned on the same balcony that she had joined Presto on earlier that evening and watched. After a lot of persuading, Rose had finally talked Presto into joining her in the courtyard for a little archery practice. Hank had joined in with them for a while before wandering off, leaving them alone besides their one onlooker. Diana smiled as Presto's crossbow bolt completely failed to hit the target yet another time, and Rose tutted and scolded and made him try again, forcing the weapon into his nervous hands and supporting his arms at the elbows.

'I found it.'

She jumped and span around. Eric was leaning on the doorframe in the same languid way that his wife had earlier, the same swirling tattoo staining his left hand, and a familiar golden shield in the other. He toyed with it gently, spinning it around on its bottom point. It seemed much smaller and lighter in his hands now.

'Haven't used it for a few years,' he continued, 'I thought it'd be mad at me for putting it out of action, but look...' He picked up the weapon in both hands and held it towards Diana. It glowed, humming merrily. 'It's a happy little griffin!'

He noted the small smile growing on Diana's face and waved the shield's ornamental crest closer to her.

'It says it's missed you.'

Diana laughed slightly as the man leaned into the shield and pretended to listen to it.

'And it says that it's time for you to go to bed.'

Diana's face fell at the reminder of the age gap between them. 'Not sleepy.'

'The boys have gone to bed. So have Bobby and Sheila.'

She folded her arms petulantly. 'Rose and Presto get to stay up.'

Eric stepped forward and leaned over the balcony. 'Oh Gods, what are they doing?'

'BEDTIME!' he yelled to them, so suddenly that Presto dropped his crossbow, setting the arrow off to shoot noisily across the tiles.

'In a minute, Daddy!' Rose cried up to him.

Eric sighed, stepping back to Diana. 'Kids.'

They paused, looking into one another's' eyes.

'Diana, are you all right?' he asked her, eventually. 'You've seemed really down all day.'

Diana broke out of his gaze, and looked down at her feet. 'Yeah. I just can't believe my rotten luck, that's all.'

'That you had to come back to a world you'd only just escaped to save a person who really didn't need any saving?'

'No, stupid.' Diana hugged herself. The freezing desert night was beginning to bite at her naked limbs. 'Ayeisha... she hated you when she met you... so did I. And then she started to really like the real you... well, so did I. Only you didn't tell me when you liked me, but you told her. And now... you grew up really hot, and all...' She pouted slightly at her toes. 'Where's my Hot Husband?'

Eric leaned back against the wall. 'Diana, you're still only fifteen. Trust me, a girl like you is going to spend most of her adult life having the most eligible bachelors of this world and the other falling over each other to get in your good books.'

'But I...'

'Don't let's go to that place, Deeds.' Diana was suddenly aware of how much Eric was keeping his distance, how deliberately he had done so since she'd shown her disappointment at his being married. 'Please? You have to let it go. Put it down to bad luck and bad timing like I did all those years ago. Life goes on, and you have to move with it.'

Diana just sighed, turning from him and leaning over the balcony railings again. To her surprise, he walked over and joined her, putting a tentative hand on her shoulder.

'I don't want to sound patronising,' he said, 'but... I've been a teenager, and I've come through it. And now I'm starting to raise one. I know what it's like. Everything's so magnified. Every little crush is your One True Love. And when it all goes wrong, it feels like the end of the world. But it really isn't. You hurt and you sulk and you want to curl up in a ball and disappear, and then, one day you're as good as new again.'

'You know how you didn't want to sound patronising...?'

'Sorry.' Eric sighed. 'Rose reacted the same way when I tried to give her this Little Talk. A month ago she had the biggest crush on her riding teacher. Then she found out he was married, and her heart broke.'

They watched the pair in the courtyard as Rose began going over the Basic Principals of Crossbow Maintenance for the fifth time.

'She doesn't seem too heartbroken.'

'That's exactly my point,' said Eric, watching his daughter. 'a matter of weeks ago there was no man for her but Shamouk, and now she's... now she's...'

'Now she's flirting with Presto.' Diana broke into a large, real grin as she saw the confusion on Eric's face turn into a quiet Paternal rage.

'She's... she's... Oh Gods. Not him.'

'And I think he's flirting back,' she teased.

'Presto?' Eric asked the skies, 'My little girl and my best friend? Why?'

'He did nothing but worry about you when you were missing,you know,' she told him.

'That's no reason for him to reward himself with my firstborn!'

'Ha ha.' She caught his expression, glad to see a little ghost of the petulant old Cavalier flash across his eyes. 'You're gonna be Presto's Daddy.'

Eric scowled an Old School Ericky scowl. 'I think I might have to kill him.'

She laughed.

'I mean it! It's not funny!'

'Eric!'

The pair on the balcony turned to see the young man in the doorway. Hank was flushed and panting, and not merely from the effort of running to find them. He pointed off in the direction he had come from, wildly.

'Did you know there's a portal in your Bathroom?' he gasped.

Hank and Diana stared at Eric as he nodded, calmly. 'Yes. Use another one.'

'What?'

Eric shrugged. 'It comes and goes. I put up a sign saying "Beware Of The Portal", but I guess if you can't read Kaddish...'

'You have a Portal, waiting for you?' asked Diana, 'to Earth?'

'To my bedroom.'

'Why didn't you ever use it?'

Eric smiled, sadly. 'Yet another case of bad timing. The first time I saw it was four hours after I'd discovered I'd got Ayeisha pregnant with Rose. It was impossible to go back. Besides, I didn't want to. In the years since then, returning to my old life has become even less possible, and less appealing.' He ran his hand softly over the carved patterns of the balcony's wall. 'This is my home now.'

There was a long pause.

'But we can go back,' said Hank, eventually.

'Whenever you like,' replied Eric, 'although, time scales being what they are, I don't imagine I'll be around for more than a few Earth days. It would make visiting difficult.'

Eric sighed, then looked up at them, pleadingly. 'Stay?'

'Why?' asked Diana, 'you don't need us here.'

Eric looked from one youth to the other. 'I do. I've missed you all so much. More than I have anyone else from back there. When Rhamoud called you Family he wasn't exaggerating.'

'Really?' Hank smiled a little, mockingly. 'Even Bobby?'

'Even Uni,' Eric grinned. 'Stay... just for a few weeks. See how you like it. I'll bet you've got more used to this world than you'd like to admit. I'll bet it was tough going from being a superhero to an ordinary, underestimated kid again.'

Hank and Diana exchanged a brief glance.

'But don't you remember how much you used to hate this place?' Hank asked Eric.

'It's kind of different when you have a roof over your head,' replied Eric, 'and you don't have to scavenge for food and water. It's a good life - heroics by day, hot meals and soft beds by night. Cost of living's reasonable, it's a great place to bring up kids, fresh air, no TV to rot their brains...' He raised an eyebrow at Hank. 'You might want to settle down here yourself, bring up a whole brood of little Ginger babies. There's plenty of room...'

'Well, your kids turned out OK here,' muttered Hank, 'how are the schools...?' He blinked. 'Why Ginger?'

Eric shared a smug little smile with Diana. 'No reason.'

There was another long pause, broken suddenly by Hank.

'I'm sorry,' he gasped, 'I really have to go. Now.'

Eric bit his lip in disappointment. 'Really? Well, I suppose it's your decision. I'll wake the others.' He scratched at his earlobe, sadly. 'Perhaps you should leave your weapon behind, in case we can find somebody else who can use it.'

Hank frowned. 'My weapon?'

Eric held his hand out for Hank to shake. 'It's been a pleasure, Hank. And I'm glad you came back for me.'

Hank looked from Eric's hand to Diana's nonplussed face. The realisation dawned. He shook his head.

'I meant to the Bathroom. The Portal kinda put me off earlier.'

'Oh!' Eric withdrew his hand and used it to push his hair back over his head, relieved. 'Down the stairs, third door on the right. You'll find that one refreshingly Portal Free.'

'Thanks.' Hank turned, then faltered. 'I'm glad we came back, too.'

'Night, Hank.'

Diana shared another smile with Eric as Hank left.

'Ginger babies. Honestly...'

Eric shrugged. 'You know me, I just say what everybody's already thinking.'

'Is it really that great here, or do you just want our company?'

'Both,' replied Eric, turning his attention back to the couple in the courtyard, 'although I can see myself having a Stern Manly Chat with Presto if he carries on like that much longer.'

Diana laughed again, finally backing away from the balcony.

'I'll break the training session up for tonight. It's been a long day and it's late. We'll have to see what tomorrow brings.'

Eric nodded. 'Thanks, Diana.'

Diana stalled. She pulled the small book from her belt and held it out towards Eric.

'This is yours.'

Eric accepted the journal with a smile. 'Yes it is.'

She watched him flick through the pages briefly, chuckling quietly to himself at his own youthful memoirs.

'I suppose it just wasn't meant to be, was it?' she said at last.

Eric closed the journal. 'Not in this life.'

Diana shrugged as nonchalantly as she could as she left the balcony. 'Oh well. Better luck next time.'

Eric stayed on the balcony, and watched his daughter and his friend. They were definitely flirting. He tried to console himself that they were both far too young to do anything about any early adolescent stirrings, and that Presto couldn't have been further from the libidinous Ladykiller that every father feared would show an interest in his little girl. Still... he wasn't sure that he approved. But then he was used to quietly disapproving of the way his daughter was growing up. He was about to shout down that it was bedtime again when Diana joined them in the courtyard. He watched as his old friend tried to talk Rose into retiring and allowing the exhausted Magician to go to bed. He continued to watch silently as Diana was eventually persuaded into indulging the other girl in a sparring session. He glowered into the night as he saw the familiar flash of the weapon his daughter had chosen to use against the Acrobat's staff.

'She's using her Grandfather's sword,' he said, quietly. 'Again!'

'I did warn you,' replied the soft old voice at his side, 'considering what you are, and whose daughter it is that you married, it was inevitable that at least one of your children would be Gifted.'

Eric turned his head to see the Dungeon Master perching on the balcony's railing.

'I know why you're still here' he told the little old man. 'You want us all to start your little adventures again, don't you?'

'There is still so much evil out there,' sighed DM, 'and so much good that can be done by the wielders of the weapons of power.'

Eric frowned, watching his friends in the courtyard. 'Are you going to take their portal home away again?'

The Dungeon Master raised his eyebrows, a little hurt. '"Take away their portals"? You don't believe that it was I who...'

'Are you?' interrupted Eric, sharply.

'No,' sighed the Dungeon Master. 'I believe they will stay of their own accord.' He gave Eric a little smile. 'It is not just your weapons that are irresistably drawn to one another.'

'And me?' asked Eric, running a finger down his shield. 'I left the Cavalier out in the desert...'

'You left some armour out in the desert,' replied DM, 'and the last time I looked, there was plenty of that in Kaddish. You kept the shield on your arm, and the Cavalier in your heart. I have seen you fight dangerous foes with Rhamoud, you Protector of Little Things. They will need you if you are to defeat the great evils of this world.'

'Then take me,' said Eric, turning to the courtyard where his daughter twirled and leapt and flourished the sword in her hands against Diana's staff, 'but leave Rose. I know you want her as a pupil, but please...' he met DM's eyes. 'I want to see my little girl grow up.'

The Dungeon Master didn't waver his gaze from Eric's. 'Then let her.'

Eric shut his eyes.

'You know that she was born to be a great adventurer,' continued the Dungeon Master, 'to stifle her is death. Allow her to follow her heart. Allow her to soar.'

'She'll want to go to battle when Venger and his army arrive,' sighed Eric, still not opening her eyes. 'A little girl on a battlefield... and if... if we defeat him again, there'll only be more danger waiting for her if she joins us...'

He was surprised by the feel of a large, wrinkled, soft hand on his. It caused him to turn and look at the Dungeon Master, face to face with him. The little old man had never looked so sad, or so serious before. Eric recognised that look in his eyes, that dull, empty loneliness. The concept of what a solitary life a Dungeon Master's must be flashed through his brain briefly, and, for once, he felt more than a little sorry for him.

'A Father won't settle for riddles,' DM told him, softly. 'A Father simply needs to know that his child is well, and happy, and safe.' The Dungeon Master paused, and cleared his throat. 'So I will speak plainly to you, Eric. Venger will not breach the walls of Kaddish. You and your army of Laman will succeed. Your daughter is already a great warrior, and she fights beneath the protection of her father's shield.'

'She'll be OK?'

'No, Eric.' The Dungeon Master turned around on the railing to watch Rose fight. 'Not merely "OK". She will be Magnificent.'

-x-

What is 'The End'? It's just the beginning of another chapter, one that the writer will never get around to writing. I can't really write 'The End'.

Another chapter of my life has begun. It's such a far cry from the life I left behind with this journal, it would make no sense to continue with this one. I've decided to start a new one, just as soon as the little problem of the fast approaching army of Orcs has been settled.

The others have agreed to stay until after the battle at least. I guess they feel it's the least they can do. I think they might blame their return, weapons and all, on Hornhead's decision to attack, although it was probably only a matter of time before either him of Tiamat got sick of infighting with each other and turned on us. I'm glad they'll be here with me, anyway. It's hard to believe that the last time they disappeared through a portal I tried to tell myself I was glad that they'd gone.They've all seemed to have warmed to my family... maybe a little too much... Sheila seems to have adopted Little Rhamoud and the less said about Presto the better. And I'm sure I saw Bobby teaching Charlie to spit yesterday.

Yes - Charlie. I named my oldest son for you after all. I don't imagine any of this will make much sense to you, Dad, but since I'm sure this will fall into your hands at some point, I thought you might like to know that I'm well and happy and safe. But I'm afraid I won't be coming back. You won't see me again, but then you rarely saw me when I lived with you, so it won't really change things. I still love you, and I'll miss you, Dad.

So now there's not much left to do except find a good way to wrap this entry up and throw this journal back through the portal... Bobby said something funny last night that made me think. Somewhere in this whimsical world my cynical, material life got turned into a Fairy Tale. Yes, I know, talk about irony, but it's true. I was a frog... literally for a while, but that's not my point. My life was cold and ugly when I last wrote in this diary, and now it's full of beauty. And I'll tell you something else - you'll never meet a happier Prince Charming. Is it safe to end with 'And They All Lived Happily Ever After'? Besides the word of an old man about what's to come tomorrow, I don't know what the future will bring any more than the next man. How can everybody live Happily Ever After, truly? If I wanted to, I could write here that Venger saw the error of his ways at the battle that's still to come, and that my friends all decided to stay with me and found the kind of contentment that I did, and that we still all got to go out on fun adventures where nobody ever got hurt and we all came home for tea every night. But life never pans out exactly how you'd like it. I suppose people make their own happiness, and my friends and children, young as they are, are wise enough to live their lives the way they want to. So I think I will end this like a Fairy Tale after all. Ahm Kadimen li-lamen batt, Dad.

And They All Lived Happily Ever After.

-x-

Note: Any Kaddish language I used in this story was made up on the spot. I don't know if it actually means anything in any other language. If it sounds like any real words, or phrase, it's completely unintentional!

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