GAH!!! Gomen. This part is late in coming. After exams work began right away for me and I have noooooo time to write anymore! (*WAAAAH*) Ah well. Hope you peeps enjoy.
Disclaimer: Charas not mine.
WARNINGS: HUMOR. (inappropriate coupling of starfruit paste and sex. THANKS SL!)
Feedback? : YES! NOW!!!!! *cackles and jumps off a building*
Schwarz Journals (Day 10/?)
April 24, 2001
Journal of Brad Crawford
I love Schuldich and I would do anything for him, but sometimes I just have to draw the line. Like when it comes to his cooking. Don't get me wrong, he *can* cook, but only if the final product involves alcohol in some way. Otherwise, I can rarely identify what it is that he feeds me. I still eat it though….then head up to our room and purge for an hour or so. He's still never noticed even if he says I'm getting skinny. I say it's an optical illusion.
Anyway, I was calmly reading my paper, drinking my morning coffee and eating my cereal this morning when Schuldich grabbed the bowl mid-bite and shoved a plate of blackened *something* in front of me.
I would have said something if he had not run away then crying about burnt eggs and CPR. He's still locked in our bedroom sobbing. Maybe I'll go check on him later.
….once I figure out what to do with this…whatever he cooked me.
~ * ~
Crawford leaned back in his chair, lifting the two front feet casually off the ground to tip back more comfortably in fitting his tall frame. Schuldich wasn't here to mother him about the bad habit or warn him about falling, so why the hell not?
He shoved the disgusting plate of…something…away from him and picked up the first journal.
~ * ~
April 24
Tell Schuldich I'm sorry. I know Farf is, too. But I mean…what the hell was I supposed to do? The poor guy just *tried* Schuldich's eggs to make him happy. If I hadn't given him CPR right afterwards, I'm sure Farf wouldn't have made it!
Schuldich should put warning signs around his cooking endeavors.
….Oh hell, thank him for me. Farfie's been avoiding me all morning for some reason, and it wasn't until the little eggs episode that I was actually able to get close to him…..let alone give him open mouth to mouth CPR.
It would have helped though if he had stayed conscious through the whole thing.
And then the whole bedroom episode with the flying pillows and the panting and the knives and the screaming and…..um… I'll just let Farf tell you about that. Just don't blame me for it. Everything is not *my* fault!!!
Uh….
Ja.
~ * ~
A slender eyebrow arched, and Brad quickly placed Nagi's journal down for space to thumb through the said Irishman's to today's entry.
~ * ~
April 24, 2001
Entry 10
Tell Nagi that I went online today to check. That stuff he did to me with his tongue is illegal in sixty-four countries.
Who the hell asked him to give me CPR in the first place?! Can't I just die in *peace*?! …Actually that's a pretty pathetic way to go, ne?
"RIP: 4/24/01 -Choked on nasty-ass egg product…"
Nah. That wouldn't make God cry. He'd probably go laugh at me. Fucking bastard. I want to see HIM try Schuldich's eggs and see if he lives!
Ah, and then I woke up a little later, and he was there hovering over me (Nagi, not God) and I asked him why he was in my room…but it wasn't my room. It was Nagi's room.
And he just…looked at me. I mean *REALLY* looked at me. Kinda like he was hungry and I was the main course at some fucking five star restaurant. (You scared yet?)
Then the little bitch wouldn't let me leave. He just held me there with that stupid mind power of his and tried to push my shirt off and kiss me…and I *do* mean all over. That kid's got a one-track mind. I wanted to pull a knife on him, but we just wound up throwing pillows at each other's head until I got a good shot and knocked him down long enough to escape that little perv's room.
Oh, and you *are* one conniving little bastard yourself, Crawford. Yeah….leaving Nagi's journal out for me to read. You're just like me really. Sick and twisted and sadistic….
…..Heeeey, Crawford-chan? Ever had sex using leather whips and starfruit paste? …I already got the leather ….but the starfruit…..hmm…. Maybe if we just-
~ * ~
Crawford abruptly slammed the journal closed…..before tumbling backwards out of his chair.
"SHIT!!!!!!!"
Now collapsed in a bruised pile on the floor, one hand rose up to sprawl blindly out of sight on the table for the last journal. Once finding it, Crawford resigned to just lay back on the kitchen tile (hey, it was clean anyway) and read while attempting to block out the pain screaming in his abused joints.
~ * ~
Fuckbook
Day 10
If you get this Bradley-chan, consider yourself lucky that I'm not screaming at you now for just picking it up outside our bedroom door and not even bothering to talk to me.
….Is my cooking really all that bad? I mean..dammit. I didn't exactly say Farf *had* to eat my eggs! They were for *you* Brad! Made with love and all that good stuff. That's probably why Farf choked. God's sending him a message.
" **DON'T EAT SCHU'S LOVE EGGS!!!!!!!** "
Grr….I'm glad he choked. Maybe I'll get lucky and he'll cough up a lung later. Maybe Nagi will too, the little bitch. How is *this* the thanks I get for giving him sex advice?!?!
I'm going to bed, Brad. No sex tonight. I'm not in the mood. (Yeah, don't laugh at me.)
Well, I hope you enjoyed your eggs, liebe.
~~SchuSchu ^.~
~ * ~
"Oh, immensely." Crawford rolled his eyes as he simply dumped the plate of uneaten food into the trash.
Grabbing his own journal up in the other hand, he opened to a fresh page.
~ * ~
~ * Schwarz Member Assessment : Day 10 * ~
Schuldich is sensitive about his shortcomings. He never did take criticism well no matter what form it came in. ….Maybe I'll go offer some cuddling later. That always manages to put him in the mood for sex.
Farfarello is scaring me. I….I don't know what to make of his journal entry for today. Hopefully it's just another casual phase for him. Flattering as it may be (and it's really not at all) it would *not* be a good thing if he was hitting on me….especially if Schuldich found out….
Nagi is losing patience with Farfarello. Being the quiet one in our group, he is the *last* one I would ever expect to try force against a comrade. Then again, love makes people do strange things. I already learned that.
Myself….I'm praying Schuldich just might stop cooking for us. At least for a while. It would be nice to be able to have leftover takeout or something remotely edible of that nature. And with Farfarello…I don't know what to think. I can only wait and hope he forgets about this strange sexual "connection" he has made between himself and I.
~ * ~
"Oh, Craaaawwforrrrd."
The American shivered uncomfortably and turned. His nosebleed came unbidden.
There Farfarello stood shirtless with nothing on save a pair of black leather chaps with matching braided wrist cuffs. Well, the studded dog collar and the riding whip don't really count now, do they? He grinned and held up a supermarket produce bag.
"Lunch, Crawford-chaaan. Mm…starfruit. Just for you…"
…. somewhere upstairs Nagi lay on his bed calmly reading a book and listening to Crawford's girlish screams and the sadistic laughter of an overzealous whip wielder applying his trade.
~ * ~ * ~ End Day 10 ~ * ~ * ~
Eh heh. Don't ask. I need help. …..and LEATHER! *puts on cowboy hat and cracks whip* Come here SL-chan!!! YEEE HAW!!!!!
SL: O,o;;;; Um…help?
RC: MWAHAHA! More fun Schwarzy days to come! *snapping whip at Weiss* C'mon bishounies! Let's see you DANCE!!!! *cackles*
Weiss: AAAIEEEEE!!!!!!