Yeah, yeah, yeah. This part is for my weirdo muse Sakura-chan, and also MAGGIE who allowed me to test out my new Jrock knowledge test on her. ^^ *huggles* Also for lovely Djinn! MWAHAHA!! *seme pounce* You inspire me to be hentai. _ And I'm STILL not getting any! *flails*
Disclaimer: I don't own a Miracle Blade Slicer, nor do I have any relationship to the company which makes them. Thank you Chef Tony. *glomps* I don't own Clorox 2, but…wait…I think there might be some downstairs. WHEE! I guess I –do- own it! XD WeiB Kreuz and the characters don't belong to be. No infringement intended.
Schwarz Journals (Day 15/?)
April 29, 2001
Journal of Brad Crawford
Tonight probably proved most eventful when I discovered that Schuldich has been robbing the resting home patrons of MANY pairs of false teeth and gluing them to my refrigerator to spell out "FUCK YOU." I don't usually care what Schuldich does in his spare time so long as there is no property damage or loss of important life.
Obviously, the line was crossed when he chose to defile my appliances.
Still, it didn't appear to matter how choleric I appeared when storming into the bingo room this evening and demanding that he leave –immediately- with me. The bitch proceeded to ignore me and mark off more spaces on his board, an inexcusable act in my book, so I attempted to remove him, cane, wig and all, by force.
I hadn't expected any problems with the situation. Maybe I should have looked into the future anyway. Then perhaps I could have avoided being set on by thirty old men and women throwing cheap ramen and small packets of individually wrapped butter. Either way, Schuldich was rather smug when a resident nurse demanded I leave.
He's still there, I suppose. Stupid whore.
~ * ~
Crawford's gaze flitted distastefully over to where his ruined suit lay in a heap of brown stains and a few stray noodles still clinging to it. Already he was plotting Schuldich's demise. It was just a matter of time now.
Well, better to find out what troubles Nagi and Farfarello were experiencing in their "relationship." Sick and twisted as it sounded, Brad felt better after hearing about the problems of other relationships. It made him feel a little more…..smug.
~ * ~
April 29
I've given up on waiting for Farfie to follow my cues in sex and actually participate in his uke role. I tried slipping him your copy of "Gay Sex for Dummies", but I think he used it as a coloring book instead. Sorry, Crawford. ..But….the diagrams section is looking very vibrant at least.
I decided that maybe if I can find a way to kinda decrease his energy, then Farfarello might be a little more …susceptible to my advances in after hours. On Schuldich's urging, I have encouraged Farfarello to come up with his own hobby or invention. Hopefully this will leave him a little more worn at night from the constant strain and I just might be able to take him without protest.
I've even tried to send him in the right direction! …Uh, if anyone asks, -I- was not the one who bought the edible panties and Gummy Fun Bed Bra.
~ * ~
The American blinked. Read over Nagi's last entry. Then blinked again.
"This might explain the five pounds of shredded coconut on the kitchen table."
Not that he really minded what Farfarello did just so long as it didn't bring suspicion from the outside masses. Killing third graders and howling at the moon were two of Farfarello's more annoying addictions. Maybe Nagi had finally found his lover a socially acceptable hobby?
~ * ~
Fuckbook
Day 15
I'd be scared if I was you, Brad. Today Farfarello decided to start his own line of clothing as a way to make a little side money since he's still trying to pay off that Miracle Blade Slicer™. Didn't work as advertised according to him. He decided that even if it was strong enough to cut through sheet rock, it didn't work fast enough on car paneling and his ..uh.. "playmates" kept driving away before he could get to them.
I can see why Nagi is encouraging it though. Really Brad, he's not harming anyone yet. …Uh…until he puts on that lamb chop skirt he's making. He says it's the perfect invention: full food group edible clothing.
I think it makes me look fat, but still said something like "Oh! It's GREAT!" since I know the stupid fucker will gouge my eyes out if I don't. Heh. Coerced complements. Maybe he could teach a course in that, it would get him a LOT more money.
Ja ne, liebe. …And uh….sorry about that little Bingo Hall incident. I didn't know ramen stuck to ugly suits that well.
3 SchuSchu
~ * ~
Brad blinked up from the journal entry to discover his lover trying to sneak beneath the covers without him noticing. Smirking, the older man slammed one elbow down into the blanket-wrapped redhead eliciting a pained "UMMPH!" from Schuldich before the German's head popped out a little.
"You know you shouldn't encourage him, Schuldich."
Emerald eyes rolled.
"Oh shut up, Brad.
Crawford placed Schuldich's journal back into the pile and withdrew Farfarello's, blinked, and scowled as he tried to peel off the dirty picture that the younger man had apparently colored and then glued to the cover of his journal. Damn it. ...He liked that position. Why did Farfarello have to go and rip pages out of HIS books just to make art?
"..And my suit isn't ugly, Schu."
"Yeah, koi. It really is."
Crawford narrowed his eyes at the half-asleep German, poking his lover in the ribs. Hard.
"You might want to leave, Schu. I'm getting a premonition of you being thrown out the bedroom window in about two minutes."
Emerald eyes widened, blinking up at Brad for a minute to see if the older man was serious.
"But….Nagi's downstairs…"
"I'm still here. …Thirty seconds. …Twenty nine…Twenty eight….."
That was all it took to send Schuldich bolting out of bed and running from the room, flailing and shrieking in terror.
Crawford watched, his lips just curving up into a smug smile.
// Ahh…sweet sweet silence… //
~*~
April 29, 2001
Entry 15
Schuldich didn't like the skirt I made for him. He didn't come right out and say it, but I'm not as stupid as he takes me for. I know when the bitch is straight out lying to me. Not like I really care though. He looks too fat in it anyway. I need someone thinner to wear my clothes. Someone –deserving-.
Heyyy…. Do you know where that Yohji Kudou lives? He's kinda skinny. Mmm….he'd look…delicious…in my clothes… What if I went over to his apartment and just-
~*~
Crawford slammed the journal closed, shoving it under the others with definite distaste. He didn't need to read that. He didn't need to discover what demented plans the household psychopath had for the unsuspecting male whore of WeiB.
~ * ~
~ * Schwarz Member Assessment : Day 15 * ~
Farfarello has taken his insanity and harnessed it in the fashion world. What is it about Yohji Kudou anyway? First Schuldich feels the need to fuck his brains out, and now Farfarello is undoubtedly going to force the manslut into some kind of demented fashion monstrosity. I guess there's just something about him that seems to draw every maniac in a fifty mile radius.
Nagi, I suspect, is becoming too involved in the world of kink and sexual exploration. I understand that he is a teen with certain "needs", but really I must speak with Estet about upping the dosage of those tranquilizers we've been slipping into his cereal. Schuldich says it makes him quite and zombie-like. I say it's better than the genki, energetic little brat that he was before we started drugging him.
Schuldich seems to try my patience on purpose. I really don't understand what I see in that man. …Maybe it's time I went and discovered the seductive wiles of Yohji Kudou for myself. They're almost the same person if not for hair color.
Myself, I have given up on just purchasing the supermarket standard brand of bleach. It doesn't work on crème-colored suits. Note to self: look into Clorox 2.
~ * ~
Crawford deposited his journal atop the others, carefully folding his reading glasses and then leaving his bedroom to discover why the household was suddenly so….quiet.
Once downstairs, he discovered Schuldich lounged upon one of the living room chairs, back against one arm and a long leg splayed over the other. The telepath seemed to be deep in thought. Hmm…must be an optical illusion.
"You know, Farfie… If you're going to market this stuff, you'll need a last name to sell it under."
Farfarello just growled, trying to saw through a side of raw beef on Crawford's now-bloody living room table.
"Don't have a last name."
"Oh c'mon! You must have one. ….OUCH!" Schuldich pouted, rubbing his sore head where a rib had just been thrown in his direction. "Okaay. I'll just give you a name then. Lemmie see…. You're….Irish…so….." He suddenly broke out into a grin. "O'Reily! I'm naming you 'Farfie O'Reily! ….mweeheehee…"
Crawford just sighed, shaking his head and opting to leave the room. He was getting a vision of Schuldich thrown down upon the coffee table with a saw-wielding Irish psycho standing over him. Not something he wanted to experience twice.
~ * ~ * ~ End Day 15 ~ * ~ * ~
x_X Geebis, that chapter took me a YEAR to get out? *dies* Yeah, well…my senior year was stressful. ^^ And I'll be attending the University of Pennsylvania in the fall! What fun! Anyone going there, look me up! ^.~